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Chapter 13

Jaime watched Danny and Kate go out through the kitchen.

"Am I to assume this is why you were acting like you couldn't get out of here quickly enough last Sunday?"

Jaime turned to face his father. "I had just found out about Kate," he said. "She didn't want anyone to know."

"Well where did you find her?" Erin asked. "Where has she been?"

Jaime shook his head slowly. He could only imagine the repercussions with Kate if he told the family everything he knew about her. "I don't know much," he said. His non-answer didn't appease the prosecutor. And definitely not the police commissioner.

"Well, she clearly isn't in a safe situation," Frank said, frustration lifting his voice past its normal control.

"No," Jaime said, frowning with what he knew of Kate's situation.

The sound of the back door opening had them all dropping the discussion for now.

Danny reappeared, Kate close behind him. Her eyes were red, but no tears stained her cheeks.

"Let's eat," Henry said, motioning Kate and Danny toward the table.

She shuffled toward the chair Jaime pulled out for her. Head bent, clearly gathering her emotions back to safe territory, Kate took the seat.

Jaime dropped a hand on her shoulder. Kate flinched at the touch, but didn't jerk away. And if his sister not recoiling from him was sign of progress, it was a discouragingly low bar.

#

Kate listened to the stilted conversation around her. Erin's voice was too bright, Jaime's too tense, and Frank and Danny were too quiet, not saying much of anything. Henry offered her a sympathetic smile.

She darted a couple glances Erin's way. Her sister caught her looking and offered her a smile that was painfully serious.

"Where's Jack?" Kate asked quietly.

Erin didn't break eye contact, not shaken by the question. Kate was relieved she hadn't made things more awkward and uncomfortable with the question than she had already with her very presence.

"We're divorced," Erin said. "Just a few months after you…left."

"Good riddance," Kate muttered under her breath, turning her eyes back to her plate.

"Amen to that," Danny said, raising his wine glass in a mock toast.

"Danny," Erin said, a warning in her tone.

"No, it's fine, Mom," Nicky spoke up. "Dad left and it's nothing for us to be ashamed of or not talk about." She leaned around Erin to look at Kate. "Lots of people lose a parent or a sibling. I lost Grandma, and Uncle Joe, and then my dad. It happens."

"Nicky…" Erin said again, her hand tightening on her fork.

"What? I just think it's interesting that some people lose someone and they still go on with life and others run away."

"Nicole!" Erin said sharply.

Kate lifted her eyes to meet Danny's. And sometimes it was more than just losing someone. He held her gaze and she saw the shadows in her own eyes reflected in his.

"Did you get in a fight, Aunt Kate?" Sean asked. "It must have been a big one if you broke your ribs."

Now it was Henry's turn to try to quiet a teen.

"That's not our business, Sean," he said.

"I was shot," Kate said, her frayed emotions snapping. The words were like a gunshot of her own into the room.

Frank rolled his fingers against each other, not speaking. Kate looked at him straight on.

"Wow, how'd that happen?" Jack asked, clearly not assuming his great grandpa's warning applied to everyone.

"It's just something that happens when you mess up and aren't strong enough to stay with your family after you lose your mom and brother," Kate said, unable to hold back the sarcasm directed at Nicky.

"Katie," Frank said.

Kate couldn't tell if his words held a censure or were an attempt to calm her. She didn't care. She just needed to get out of there. She shoved her chair back.

"Now just sit down," Frank said, ever the voice of reason in the face of high emotions.

"This was…" But she couldn't honestly say it was a mistake. She didn't regret seeing her family. "I need to go," she said instead. That was true. She was going to lose control if she stayed. And control of her emotions was all she had left.

She started toward the door. She could hear Jaime call after her, pushing his own chair back. She grabbed her backpack and got her cellphone. Without thinking, she dialed as she strode out the front door.

#

"What?" Carlos looked up.

Sofia raised her eyebrows at her younger brother. "I asked if you wanted a brownie."

Carlos muttered an apology and held out his plate.

"Where are you today? Because it's sure not here," Sofia said.

No, he definitely wasn't present with his family at Sunday dinner in anything but body. He hadn't seen Kate in four days. Not since Johnny had sent him upstairs with Kate. His stomach turned at the thought of Johnny so cavalierly offering Kate up like that.

"Carlos!" Sofia exclaimed in exasperation.

He blinked and tried to drag himself back to the present. "Sorry, what?"

Sofia let out a sigh, but he saw the concern in her eyes. "I asked if something was wrong."

Carlos shook his head. "Everything's fine," he muttered. Even though it wasn't. He took his plate and grabbed an extra for Joe. He turned to go outside caught his dad's eye.

Anthony didn't say anything, but his eyes were narrowed as he studied his only son. Carlos had noticed his dad watching Joe today, too. No doubt they weren't doing a very good job of hiding how much this assignment was getting to them.

Carlos ducked his head and took the brownies out the back door before anyone else could question him. He sat down on the lawn chair next to Joe's and handed him one of Sofia's legendary brownies.

Joe took the plate and settled back in his chair, his eyes looking out over the yard, unfocused.

"You good?" Carlos asked.

Wherever Joe's thoughts were taking him, he came back at Carlos' question.

"Yeah," Joe said, without any change in his serious expression.

Lost in their thoughts, they sat in silence. Joe finally spoke up.

"I have a meeting tomorrow," Joe said. He set aside his plate without touching the dessert.

"Yeah?" Carlos asked. "With the brass? They want an update on your recovery?"

Joe didn't respond immediately. Carlos was used to his partner's tendency to take a beat before he answered.

"It's with the PC."

Carlos' own unsettled thoughts about Kate were pushed aside. "What does the commissioner want to see you for?"

Joe shook his head. "I want to see him."

Carlos hadn't been expecting that. He sat back in his chair. "Is there something going on?"

Joe looked out across the yard again. "You know I've been looking for my dad's side of the family."

Carlos nodded. That missing side of the family was one of the reasons he made sure to invite his partner to the Renzulli chaos every Sunday.

"You know I found out my dad was a cop," Joe said.

"And you're going to the PC to find out about him?"

Again that pause. Joe looked straight at him. "He was the commissioner's son."

Carlos blew out a breath. That wasn't what he had expected to hear. "Does Commissioner Reagan know…anything?"

Joe shook his head, his lips thinning. "Not according to my mom. None of the Reagans do."

At the mention of the other Reagans, Carlos' mind worked its way back to the officers his dad had been partnered with. Joe Reagan.

"Joe was your dad?"

Joe nodded once.

"My dad was his TO," Carlos said.

That brought Joe fully back to the present.

"He'd talk to you about him. You know, if you ever wanted."

One side of Joe's mouth lifted slightly. "I appreciate that. Depending on how it goes with the commissioner tomorrow…" he shrugged. "I'll hit your dad up sometime."

Carlos' phone buzzed and he pulled it from his pocket. He looked at Joe as he answered it.

"Kate?" he asked.

Joe went still, listening to Carlos' side.

"I shouldn't have called you," she said immediately.

Worried she was going to cut the connection, Carlos tried to keep her on the line. "No, it's fine. It's good. I've been worried about you. Are you ok?"

Silence on the line.

Joe lifted his brows in question. Carlos shook his head.

"Are you there?" Carlos asked.

In the background he heard a car horn. A dog bark. And then a ragged breath.

"Can you come get me?" Kate finally asked. "I need a ride."

Carlos was already on his feet, Joe following suit. "I'm on my way. Where are you?"

"Staten Island," she said. "I'll meet you by the Verrazano Bridge," she said. He heard an unfamiliar voice call her name, then she hung up.

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