As always I'm so, so sorry about the long wait between updates! This is really the nicest fandom for comments and I appreciate everyone who takes the time to read! I've been working on this update for awhile and want to thank .lance for your recent comment that spurred me to finish it and post it finally!
Chapter 29
Kate closed her eyes, relishing the feel of Carlos' fingertips tracing along her jaw. His touch was just as soft when he brushed the hair back from her face. His lips were warm when he kissed her temple.
"Kate," he started.
"Don't," she said automatically. Whatever he was going to say shouldn't be said. What had just happened—
Kate forced herself to pull away. Carlos didn't fight her, but his eyes didn't waver as she stepped back.
"This—we can't—you know this can't happen," Kate said, desperately trying to shove down the feeling of loss as she moved away from Carlos.
Carlos still looked unshaken. "I'm not going to say that," he said.
Kate didn't know how he could look so certain when she felt like the ground was crumbling under her feet.
"I don't need you to tell me," she snapped, finding a shelter in harsh words to put distance between them. Distance that made her heart feel like it was bleeding. "I know it. Anything between us…" she faltered, her throat closing up and cutting off her words. She fought to get herself under control. "There can't be anything between us. There isn't anything between us."
Carlos didn't look like her words hit him. He kept studying her, his gaze even.
Kate turned away from him quickly before she gave into her weakness.
"Kate," he said.
Kate closed her eyes, fighting to dredge up the strength that had gotten her through the last four years.
"I have to go," she managed to choke out past the tightness in her throat, without looking at Carlos.
"I'll give you a ride," Carlos said, following after her.
Kate hurried down the stairs, dodging one of Carlos' nieces who was running upstairs with another niece chasing after her giggling.
"I don't need your help," Kate said sharply.
Anthony looked up when Kate came in. She reached down and scooped Frannie up, grabbing the bag that Carlos had carried downstairs for her.
"I know you don't," Carlos said. "But there's nothing wrong with letting me—"
"There's everything wrong with letting you help me," Kate said. She felt Anthony looking between the two of them and stopped herself from saying anything more. "Thanks for everything," she said to Carlos' father. "Tell Mrs. Renzulli thanks."
Kate held herself back from running to the door. She forced a smile for Frannie's benefit and let herself out. She hurried down the street, relief flooding her at the same time loneliness caused a sharp ache when Carlos didn't follow after her.
#
"You know you could stay here," Joe said. He wasn't sure where the words had come from, but he wasn't taking them back.
Lacey's green eyes were filled with fear and Joe didn't want her going back to the Bitter End.
"I can't," she said softly. She turned away from him and continued to put her belongings back in the bag Joe had packed for her.
"Lacey," Joe said. He waited until she turned back to face him. Her fair brows were knit together. He rested a hand on her arm, feeling her muscles relax under his touch. "I mean it. You'll always have a place here if you need it."
Lacey's lips trembled and she nodded slightly. A strand of light hair fell across her face. Joe moved slowly, brushing the silky strand from her face.
He felt her still, but she didn't draw back.
"Joe," she whispered.
Joe brushed his lips softly against hers. He could feel her breath catch, but she lifted a hand to feather her fingers lightly against his back. She responded to his lips.
Joe forced himself to pull away, not wanting to overwhelm her.
"You call if you need anything. Anything at all, ok?" he said.
Lacey nodded, a hint of a flush on her cheeks.
It would have to be enough for now. He helped her gather her few things so he could drive her back to the projects.
#
"Carlos."
Carlos opened the front door Kate had shut firmly behind herself only moments before. He wasn't going to let her go back on her own.
"Carlos, stop."
He paused at his dad's words.
"Son, we need to talk." Anthony's face was serious.
"There's nothing to talk about," Carlos said. He looked in the direction Kate had gone before Anthony stepped in front of him.
"You're about to go running after a CI. That's not nothing."
"Because it's not safe," Carlos insisted. "She can't go running back to what she's involved in."
Anthony glanced into the house before motioning Carlos out onto the porch with a nod of his head.
Carlos had too much respect for his dad to walk away from him, even though he knew where Anthony was about to go with this conversation.
Anthony pulled the door closed behind them.
"What's going on?" Anthony asked.
Carlos shook his head. "You know about this case. You caught the call and saw who Kate's dealing with." He stopped to draw a breath before he said anything more. Forced himself to breathe.
"That's not what I'm talking about," Anthony said, fixing Carlos with a look.
It was the same look he had given Carlos when he caught Carlos at an arcade instead of in eighth grade math class. When he had found Carlos behind the garage with older neighborhood boys with his first cigarette. But this time Carlos didn't feel guilt. He wasn't doing anything wrong.
Anthony must have seen the answer on Carlos' face because he shook his head. "You're playing with fire. She's a CI. Don't matter that she's a Reagan—she's still your criminal informant. Getting tangled up romantically with a CI, Carlos, you know better."
He didn't. Carlos couldn't tell his dad that he wasn't 'tangled up' with anything. His mind was clear and made up. He cared for Kate. He cared for Frannie. And he would do whatever it took to protect them.
"Don't go down this road," Anthony said. "You fall into this hole and that's it. Everything's blown up—your career, this case, your partnership with Joe. And whatever you think you have with her, it's not going to survive all that."
That was the one thing Carlos knew was wrong. What he felt for Kate could withstand whatever came. The way she stood up for her daughter, putting herself in horrible places to keep Frannie and Lacey safe, the way she had looked out for him and Joe before they even knew she had made them as cops, the way Kate's face could lose it's hard edge and a hint of softness could be seen once you knew her…there was more to Kate than anyone he had ever known and everything he learned about her had him falling harder for her.
"I appreciate the talk, Dad," Carlos said sincerely. "But really, I'm ok. I've got this."
Anthony's sigh was heavy.
"Thanks, Dad. For everything you and Ma did for Kate and Frannie."
Anthony barely acknowledged the thanks. His eyes were dark with worry and Carlos knew there was no way to reassure him. Not when he was worried enough about everything Kate was into.
His phone buzzed in his pocket and he pulled it out.
"Carlos," Joe said. "Something's happening with the gang. Something's wrong. They called Lacey and I had to bring her back."
"I'll pick you up," Carlos said. He ended the call and Anthony held up a hand to stall Carlos' explanation.
"You gotta go. I know," Anthony said. "I'll tell your mother and sisters."
"I'll call you later," Carlos said.
He jogged down the steps to his vehicle. He'd trade it out for the undercover vehicle on his way over to Joe's. Then they'd find out what was going on with Johnny and Wes. He had figured out from the look on Kate's face earlier that it wasn't going to be anything good.
#
