"Daddy, are you gonna cut brains today?" Zola looked up from her plate of waffles. Her feet dangled off the stool as she looked up at her father.

"Maybe just one," he answered as he zipped up her lunchbox, "or two."

Meredith walked into the kitchen with their youngest in her arms, chewing on one of her tiny hands, "Or three, if he's lucky."

Bailey sat on the stool next to his sister as he plopped a strawberry in his mouth. He was oblivious and uninterested but looked up as soon as he heard his mother's voice.

"I've been away for what almost two years?"

Meredith placed Ellis in her highchair, "You nervous? Or is the Great God of Neuro ready to take the throne back?"

Meredith poked her tongue out as she coaxed a smile out of Derek.

"Ha, ha," Derek shook his head, "Amy is chief, and she'll stay chief. I asked her for a soft rotation. So it should be an easy day."

"Well, whatever your rotation is, I'm glad to have you back."

Derek nodded, "Hey, Mer, I've been meaning-"

"Derek, don't" Meredith walked toward him and wrapped her arms around his neck, "I know that tone. That's the tone you use when something bad is happening or when I'm panicking but today is a good day. Let's not ruin it okay?"

"You're not the optimist here, that's my job," he chuckled.

"Well you've corrupted me," She smiled, "I'll go back to dark and twisty after today."

He smiled as he leaned down to kiss her.

"Are you done? Bailey and me want more strawberries, please!" Zola's tiny voice interrupted them.


"Derek seems excited to be back," Chief Bailey remarked as she and Meredith walked down the hall, "But who are we kidding, it's Derek. Of course, he's excited."

Meredith chuckled, "He is easing back into it and honestly I think I'm more excited than he is."

"Because he's finally out of the house?"

"Yes! He was becoming the favorite parent!" Meredith laughed, "Zola only wants him to read bedtime stories, Bailey runs up to him first thing every morning, and Ellis stops crying as soon as she sees him. He has an unfair advantage!"

"Well then it's a good thing I dragged his overly moussed hair back," Bailey teased, "Listen I wanted to give you a heads up, with everything going on today, I know it's already a bit crazy and you've got a lot-"

"Uh-uh, no," Meredith shook her head, "I am not adding any more surgeries today unless it's an urgent trauma. I want to be up in the gallery for Derek's first-"

"No, it's not that," Miranda interrupted, " As you know, transfer residents traditionally do their do their first rotation with the chief of general- which is you- and as you also know our newest transfer, Penelope-"

"Oh, hold that thought," Meredith's pager went off, "trauma coming in. I'm sorry I gotta go, what is this?"

"Dr. Blake is on your service, however, Dr. Webber has offered to take over-"

"No, I'm chief of general, it's the job," Meredith dismissed her unconcerned with anything she said, "I gotta go, tell 'em to find me in the ER!"


"Dr. Grey?"

She didn't bother to look up from the tablet, "Yes?"

"I understand I'm on your service today-" the resident stammered.

"Oh, that's right, you must be Dr. -" Meredith turned around to look at the resident. She'd recognize her anywhere. Her face was engraved in her memory. She could close her eyes and picture her perfectly. It was a face she'd see in her nightmares. The same face that was filled with tears as she tried to apologize over and over again when Meredith had Derek transferred from Dillard Medical Center. When she made that moment about her.

And now, the same face was staring back at her. In light blue scrubs and a white coat engraved with the words Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital. Her name sewn on the other side, Dr. Penelope Blake, M.D.

"What the hell are you-" Meredith's face was stoic, "You're the transfer?"

"Ah, Dr. Grey!" Richard called out, "I see Dr. Blake found you."

Meredith looked up at Richard and then at Blake, "I need a minute."

Richard watched as she walked away. As she ran as far as she could.


"Hey, so the Neuro God is all ready to go," Amelia smirked as she dried her hands.

Meredith walked into the bathroom and stood next to her.

"He's clipping an aneurysm but the residents are already freaking out about it," Amelia reached for the towels, oblivious to the fact that her sister in law was internally panicking.

"Amelia-" Meredith leaned her head back to the cool tiles of the wall.

"I mean even I have to admit that having him back-"

"Amelia!"

"What?" Amelia turned suddenly, "I thought you were excited too, he said you were much more excited about it than he was."

Meredith breathed heavily as she gripped the countertop, "One of the doctors is here."

"What doctor? We're in a hospital filled with-"

"One of the doctors that nearly killed your brother."


He was excited. He tried to contain it but he deep down he was excited. Just being back at the hospital as a doctor and not just a board member made him feel thrilled.

He'd been back at the hospital more than a handful of times. He'd stayed for days on end after the accident, came back for session after session for physical therapy and check-ups with Callie and Owen. He and Meredith had come in for counseling and therapy. All things that helped. That helped them move forward.

And eventually, he returned as a member of the board. But today, he returned as a doctor. A fully fledged surgeon- who needed to be supervised until he was cleared because of his two-year absence.

Derek reached his destination and opened the door to Richard's office, peeking his head in like a freshly minted intern, "Hey, you paged?"

"Yes, I did," Richard smiled as he looked up from his files, "It's good to see you back in scrubs."

Derek chuckled as he walked in, "It feels strange- in a good way! I missed being back in the coat."

"Yeah, well we missed you around here too," Richard admitted with a smile, "Why don't you take a seat?"

"Oh no, first day back and I'm already at the principal's office."

"No, uh, this is about the favor you asked me to do. The one I told you would bite you in the ass," Richard chuckled and sat down across the desk, "The transfer resident- Penelope-"

"Blake. Yeah, I remember," Derek nodded, "What's up?"

"She started today," Richard answered, "And she's on Dr. Grey's service."

"Today?" Derek blinked, "She started today? I thought you'd said the transfers started next week?"

"Bailey wanted them in early," Richard shrugged, "but Derek-"

"She's on Meredith's service?"

"Yes."

"And Meredith's already seen her?" Derek's tone grew and more concerned. He wasn't expecting this on his first day and Richard could read right through it.

"You didn't tell her?"

He shook his head, "Mer had it in for every doctor in Dillard. Not that I blame her, but Blake tried. She pushed for the head CT the minute I got there."

"Well, she's seen her," Richard shook his head, "And you need to talk to Meredith."


"Derek!"

"Amy, not now, I gotta find-"

Amelia practically ran down the hall until she reached her brother, walking in sync as he searched the surgical wing desperately, his ferryboat scrubcap firmly on his head, "You need to call a meeting of the board!"

Derek stopped and turned to face Amelia, "What? Wait, why?"

"Because Richard Webber admitted the doctor-"

"Woah, okay, Amy slow down-"

"How could they do this?" Amelia raised and dropped her arms.

"Amy!" Derek called out again before lowering his voice, "Slow down. Where's my wife?"

"Wait Derek, did you know?" Amelia asked, "That she was here? Did they even tell you-?"

Derek placed a hand on his sister's shoulder, concern filling his blue eyes, "Amy, where's Meredith?"

"You knew." Meredith's voice boomed from behind him, "You knew she was here."

Derek turned as two piercing, green, angry eyes greeted him. It wasn't a question. She wasn't asking. She knew him better than that. She could read him a mile apart.

"Meredith-" He walked closer to her only for her to step back. She wouldn't let him any closer.

"Are you kidding me? You knew and you didn't bother to tell me?"

Derek sighed, "Richard asked me to take a look at the transfers a while back after a board meeting and I-"

"You what?" she shouted as the eyes around them stared, "suggested Blake?"

Derek sighed as he opened his mouth and closed it again.

"Oh my god," Amelia gasped, "You suggested Blake?"

Derek glanced at his sister and then back at his wife before attempting to explain, "She was top of her class at Dillard, she had a near perfect case-"

"Oh great! Perfect Penny who nearly killed my husband had nearly a perfect case record," she glared at him, "Except the one where she nearly missed the damn head CT, right? You forgot that one, Dr. Shepherd!"

Meredith walked away. Amelia glared before following her.

Derek watched as they stormed away. What had he done?


"Incise Gerot's fascia. Now identify and debride devitalized tissue," Blake answered Meredith's question.

"Go on," Meredith instructed as she continued with the surgery.

"U-um cauterize cortical bleeders and establish hemostasis before closure," Penelope watched Meredith work carefully, "now close using a running absorbable suture to avoid post-op fistulas."

Meredith reached her hand out for a clamp as Blake continued, "You can even reinforce using an absorbable mesh."

Richard stepped into the OR with a mask in hand covering his face, "Well that's thinking ahead. I like that."

Meredith glared at Webber through the corner of her eye.

"I thought I'd stop in to see how the first day was going."

Blake smiled, "Thank you, sir. It's been-"

"Blake has been dictating my surgical step." Meredith interrupted. Penelope could see the anger in her eyes. The look she had engraved in her memory so clearly.

"Great! How's she doing?"

"Not too well," Meredith lifted a brow without looking up, "If I had done what she just suggested, the patient would have major renal cortex bleeding."

She glanced up to look at her student. She was shocked at Meredith's response and unable to respond.

"What did you miss?"

Penelope looked at her with fear in her eyes, "I- what?"

"DeLuca? What'd she miss?" Meredith glared at the resident next to her. He had been watching carefully.

DeLuca looked between the pair, "Um, Dr. Blake didn't tell you to clamp the hilum."

"That's right, Blake hand your suction to DeLuca," Meredith gritted, "You would've killed the patient. If your hands had been my hands on this patient, he'd be dead!"

Richard looked between the residents and the attending. He looked up to the gallery above them to the sole observer.

Meredith was hazing Blake. And Derek Shepherd was watching it all.


He scrubbed his forearms. His hands. He listened as the water ran down the sink. He missed this. The silence only the OR could offer. Away from the business of the hospital. A moment between himself and his patient in a world hidden away from everyone. Hidden from the problems the real world gave him.

The doors to the scrub room opened, breaking the silence as Amelia strode in. A frown on her face.

"Amy don't-"

"Why? Just tell me why?" Amelia slammed the mask on her face as she turned to face her brother, "Why would you put Meredith and me through-"

"She's a resident, our job is to teach-"

"At the expense of the trauma we went through? Derek, Meredith and I were at each other's throats, we still-"

"We make mistakes, Amy. We're human, not perfect," Derek looked up at her, " Our patient's and their families trust us with their lives. It's our job to teach them not to make those same mistakes again."

Amelia pressed her tongue behind her teeth as she threw her mask down in frustration. She leaned against the counter and crossed her arms.

"And right now, there is a woman on the table with two kids and a wife waiting for her. Let's not make any mistakes."

"Derek, she's hurting. Meredith is hurting," Amelia explained, "I'm hurting. You didn't think that seeing her every day-"

"You don't think it's hard for me?" Derek snapped, "Out of all the things I don't remember from that day, I remember her. I remember thinking that I was going to die on that table and never see my family again. I remember trying to tell her to push for the CT."

Amelia stayed quiet. What else could she respond.

"I know you two were at each other's throats- I saw it. I know the pain the feeling," Derek said calmly, "That's why she's here. To learn. So are you going to supervise me as I scrub in for the first time in two years or are you going to keep yelling at me?"

As they finished scrubbing, they stepped into the OR. No applause. Not overly anxious interns. He had begged Amelia not to and she was more than happy to oblige.

"Okay everybody," he muttered as he looked down at his patient as Amelia took her spot next to him. He looked up at the empty gallery before looking down at his patient, "it's a beautiful day to save lives. Let's have some fun."


"What happened in here wasn't teaching," Derek opened the doors to the empty OR Meredith had been typing her notes in.

"She crapped out on a basic surgical principle," Meredith retorted without looking up at him.

"You were hazing her," Derek's eyes widened as he crossed his arms.

"If she cracks under the pressure-"

"Oh cut the crap, Grey!"

"No, you cut the crap!," Meredith pushed the computer stand away as she stood up angrily, "You knew she was here! You checked! Richard came to you! You read your charts and know every single doctor from Dillard-"

"She was an excellent candidate!"

Meredith scoffed, "Don't-"

"No, seriously, stop," Derek motioned, "this is about me, you've made it personal!"

"You want to know what I should've been doing today?" Meredith gritted through her teeth.

Derek paced and wiped his face with his hand in frustration.

"I should've been in the gallery of OR 3, watching my husband- who nearly died- perform his first surgery after two years," she yelled, "I should've been up there in that gallery, but instead I was down here teaching an incompetent-"

"Meredith-"

"-surgeon how to do a basic procedure because she couldn't catch the clotting post-op!"

"We all make mistakes!" he shouted over her, "I cut a woman's brain into pieces. You interfered with a clinical trial and helped Izzie when she cut the LVAD wire, not to mention the tumor you and Lexie resected leaving a woman-"

"Are you seriously going to air out all-"

"No, Mer, that's not," Derek lowered his voice, "that's not what I'm doing, Meredith."

Meredith crossed her arms as she looked away.

"She pushed for a head CT. Over and over again." he explained carefully, "Costello was the one who went against it. That's when you and Owen showed up. I remember that."

"What am I supposed to do with her? When I see her, all I see is my husband, lying on the table. What am I-"

"Teach her," Derek shrugged. Determination firm in his voice, "Teach her not to make that mistake again. Teach her to push when she knows she's right. Teach her to speak up so that everything you and I went through these last two years isn't for nothing."

Meredith licked her lips as she tried to contain her tears. This was supposed to be a happy day. A day of triumph for Derek. Instead, they were in here fighting.

"So that one less person sits outside a room for days wondering if she'll have to pull the plug on her husband and so no other person is laying on a bed knowing they may never see their kids or spouse again."

"Teach her," he continued, "because if anyone can teach that, it's you. That's why she's here."

Derek walked out of the room leaving Meredith alone in her thoughts.


"Dr. Blake!" Derek called out as he spotted Penny walking down the surgical hall, "Dr. Blake, I don't-"

Penelope turned around before letting out a panicked sigh, "Oh no, uh, I didn't know when I took the job-"

"I know, I'm aware," Derek tried to calm her down

"Dr. Shepherd I didn't know, I-I will leave-" she stammered, "I'm sure seeing me here everyday might trigger any-"

"No, no you will not," he shook his head, "You will not throw away your surgical career when your working at a top ranked hospital."

Penelope sighed, "I didn't realize you were a doctor here until I saw your wife- until I was placed on her service, I-"

"Blake," Derek chided, "I knew you were transferring. As soon as we had resident openings, I brought up your name to Dr. Webber. He showed me the applications."

"You did? Wait, why?"

"Because you're good. I know your capabilities, I was once your patient, remember," Derek crossed his arms as he explained with a smirk.

Penelope dropped her arms, "You should know that you- I think about that night every single day. She told me I'd remember you- your wife. She said that you were almost my one case. The one that would haunt me. And it has."

Derek nodded. He knew his wife well enough to know that she would make sure every single doctor in that hospital would regret every mistake. It's why she reported every attending there to the board and shut it down.

"Dr. Grey is tough. She's the toughest at this hospital-"

"She's supposed to be. Attendings should be hard on residents, and she should be hard on me, you should be hard on me!" Penelope cried out, "I just froze in there. I knew that surgery and I promise that night-"

"You pushed for the head CT," Derek finished her sentence, "I remember. It's one of the few things I do remember."

Blake swallowed a lump in her throat.

"You're a good doctor. And Dr. Grey is an excellent teacher," Derek placed a hand on her shoulder, "You'll see soon enough. And you'll be a better doctor for it."


"I found out after the board meeting last week".

Derek walked up to Meredith as she typed her notes on the tablet in her hands. She was pissed. Righfully pissed. And he understood. He had been the one who was supposed to tell her, and she found out suddenly and unexpectedly.

Meredith sighed as she closed her eyes, "Derek, I can't-"

"Richard showed me the list of potential transfers and hers was on the list," he continued, "He checked her cases. Every single one of them. He was hesitant but I pushed. I asked him to hire her. You and I were the only reason not to hire her."

Meredith looked up at him, "And that wasn't reason enough?"

Derek pressed his lips together and shook his head, "For a moment I thought about telling Richard not to hire her. To toss her application because I knew that seeing her would be painful. For you and Amy. And me."

It would be painful. That night had been a complete nightmare, and the months to follow were worse. It had taken night after night to come to terms with the fact that he was a broken man who would have to force himself to be put back together. And even then, it wouldn't be the same.

His saving grace was his family. His wife, his kids, and his sister. They kept him going. That and the enlightening fact that he and Meredith were expecting another child. A miracle even without the accident.

"She's fast. She thinks ahead, I get why her you like her, I do," she conceded with a sigh, "So I'll do it. I'll teach her"

"Mer-"

Meredith turned to look at him, "You know how you get pissed when I keep things from you? Well now I'm the pissed one. I'm pissed that you didn't tell me earlier."

"You're right, I should've come to you the moment I knew," Derek nodded, "I'm sorry."

Meredith stared at him. She was good at holding grudges. Good at making sure everyone knew exactly why she was pissed. But this was definitely something he would do. He'd give Penny a second chance because he knew no one was perfect. He hid behind his charm and arrogance, but deep down, he was insecure. Constantly pushing to be good enough.

"How'd your surgery go?" Meredith turned back to her tablet. Not entirely pleased and content, but conceding to the fact that she was still her teacher and she would follow through like he asked.

"My patient's stable. Ready to go back to her spouse and kids soon," he eyed her carefully with a slow grin, "I'm hopeful things will get better for them."

"Me too," Meredith looked up at him with soft eyes, "I'm hopeful things get better, too."

She'd teach Dr. Blake. She'd teach her to never make the same mistake again. To push harder and make sure her voice was never silenced.

To fight for a hopeful outcome.


A/N: Why? I don't know. The part where Derek mentions how he liked Penny and then Meredith acknowledging that Derek would've liked her was in my mind and this came out.

As for my story (Twelve Steps to Recovery), I'm working on it. I'm not totally happy with the outcome of it right now- I'll be honest- but it's in progress. As of now, I will continue with these one-shots that are all part of my Complex Nature universe.