Batman || DC || Batman || DC || Batman || Gotham Grief || Batman || DC || Batman || DC || Batman

Title: Batman: Gotham Grief

Fandom: DC Comics / Arrowverse

Disclaimer: All rights concerning the Arrowverse reserved to Greg Berlanti and Marc Guggenheim, all rights for the comics reserved to DC. This fanfiction on the other hand is entirely mine. No money is made with this, though reviews are more than welcomed.

Tags: m/f, found family, hurt/comfort, loss/grief

Main Pairing: Bruce/Selina

DC Characters: Bruce Wayne, Selina Kyle, Dick Grayson, Alfred Pennyworth, Pamela Isley, Harleen Quinzel, Katherine 'Kate' Kane, Elizabeth 'Beth' Kane, Barbara Gordon, James 'Jim' Gordon, Talia al Ghul, Ace the Bat-Dog

Summary: When he was nine years old, Bruce Wayne watched his parents die. After that, he set on a journey to become Batman and to change Gotham, while gathering a family of his own.

Batman

Gotham Grief

Bruce Wayne was a happy child. He grew up with privilege that, at that age, he wasn't even aware of. Rich beyond belief, in a huge mansion with servants. There was no material worry the boy could have. And there was no emotional worry either. His father Thomas was the kind of man he wanted to be when he would be grown up and his mother Martha was the most loving person Bruce could possibly imagine. His parents were good people, good parents.

Bruce Wayne didn't know what worries were, what true sadness – or even mild disappointment, really – were. Whatever his heart desired, his parents were happy to deliver it on a silver plate, while still trying to teach him kindness and generosity. They told him that there were others, less fortunate than him, but as a mere child, he couldn't quite grasp that concept.

Bruce was nine years old when all of that changed, when his life changed forever.

They went to a movie together, Bruce and his parents. He had picked the movie. They wouldn't have been out that night if he hadn't insisted. And then, on their way home, they took a shortcut through Crime Alley and... and were robbed at gun-point. He saw them die. They died in front of him, he saw the blood pooling on the street as Martha took her last breath.

"It's going to be okay, kiddo," promised the cop. "It's going to get better."

James Gordon. As Bruce sat hunched together with the man, he could stare at the shiny golden name-tag on the young cop's uniform. He'd stepped away from the crime scene to stay with Bruce until Alfred would come to get him, making sure Bruce wouldn't have to see anything more. Not that it wasn't already too much. He had seen things he would never be able to forget.

"Master Bruce. I'm here now. Let's get you home."

Bruce turned with empty eyes toward Alfred. Their butler. Well. No he'd always been more than just a butler. He'd been there for Bruce whenever his parents were busy with work, he'd helped teach Bruce how to ride a bike and how to swim. Thomas often called him one of his closest friends.

"They're gone, Alfred. They're gone," whispered Bruce, voice breaking with a sob.

"I know, Master Bruce," Alfred's voice was gentle as he picked the young boy up. "I know."

/1985\

Bruce was ten years old when Alfred decided that his life had to change again. The boy had been severely depressed, holed up in his room and not interacting with the world. He had stopped caring about anything. He just sat in his room. The highest of his feelings was reading his comic books. He seemed to dissociate from Gotham City's reality by indulging in the colorful, fantastical world of a fictionalized Central City – the stories of three heroes. The Flash. A grand hero dressed in red, with a silly helmet and two side-kicks, Liberty Belle and Johnny Quick.

Alfred didn't know how much truth was behind those comics, he'd seen reports from Central City, but he had a hard time believing in people with superpowers. He thought it was a marketing ploy by the city itself, considering they recently started producing comics and making money off of these fantastical stories, he only felt more certain in that assumption.

However much truth laid in these comics, they seemed to help Bruce cope with the loss. To a certain degree, at least. He still fully isolated himself and Alfred was still worried about him. Which was when the comics gave Alfred an idea. If Bruce idolized these heroes, maybe this was a good way to channel the boy's anger, sadness and helplessness.

"Master Bruce. Starting today, we are going to train," declared Alfred, throwing Bruce a broom's stick. "You can not stay in your room forever. You want the world to change, you have to be the one to change it. But for that, you need training."

Bruce caught the stick, startled. "W... What do you mean?"

"You have a lot of anger in you, Bruce. It's time to channel it into something more productive."

/1988\

Alfred had connections. His friend Lucius Fox helped him building suits that would actually protect Bruce out there. All black, to make him blend into the shadows. Alfred kept control, he stayed at the manor and communicated with Bruce while the boy went out.

Nothing big. Nothing overly dangerous. Patrolling the streets, not the ones as dangerous as crime alley, just to start out easily. It was small – well, small-ish, considering the overall size of dangers that Gotham City had to offer – but it seemed to help. It gave Bruce a purpose. Something to work toward. Something to get up for. He could help make Gotham City safer.

"They're kids."

Well. Tonight seemed to not be a regular night. Alfred tapped into the camera-feed from Bruce's mask. Two little girls, younger than Bruce by maybe a few years. One a dark-skinned girl with goggles, the other a very pale redhead. The redhead was younger, smaller, hiding behind her friend.

There was always nuance to everything, Alfred mused as he furrowed his brows. Not everyone was stealing to get rich, or to do it the easy way out. By the state of their clothes, Alfred gathered the girls must be living on the streets. Fending for themselves.

"Penny-One? What do I do?" Bruce's voice became more urgent.

Alfred remained quiet. This was as good a test on Bruce's own moral compass as any. He wanted to see what the boy would do with this. Going out to become a hero was only going to work if Bruce learned the nuances of crime too and understood that not everyone was guilty, in the same sense.

"Hey. Uh... Here. Go and buy yourselves some real food?"

Bruce fished out some money from his utility belt and carefully handed it to the older girl. Mh. Alfred smiled softly to himself and nodded, tracing his mustache with his fingers.

/1990\

Training and smaller outings were one thing, but as Bruce grew older, he wanted to take on more responsibility. And with that, their mission seemed to grow. At age fifteen, he thought he was cut out to be a fully fledged hero. Alfred still quietly disagreed, but he saw nothing wrong in building up for a greater scale. That, however, needed its proper place.

"Where are we going, Alfred?" asked Bruce curiously.

"Underneath all of Gotham City is a network of tunnels that have been here since the founding of this city," informed Alfred as they made their way through a secret door and down the narrow hidden hallway. "When the manor was built, it was built with direct access to these tunnels. There is a large... cave... beneath the manor. Your great-grandfather used it for storage. But I thought, we could use it for something else. We ought to move our secret operation out of the open more."

He turned on the flashlight as they reached the end of the tunnel and stepped into the spacious cave. Bruce peeked past him in wonder and then startled as the light of the flashlight disturbed a swarm of bats that must have been calling these caves their home.

"There is no need to be frightened, Bruce," assured Alfred gently. "They are... creatures of the night, like us. They live here, like us. It's their cave."

"A bat cave..." whispered Bruce with narrowed eyes. "I kind of like the sound of that."

"Mh. It does have a ring to it, for a secret hide-out," agreed Alfred amused. "It's going to take us quite some elbow-grease to turn this into an appropriate hide-out, but I believe it has potential."

Bruce squared up as he slowly turned once to look around, access the entire cave, before he nodded with determination. Alfred smiled, proudly. The boy had grown a lot since they had started to train. He had gained self-confidence and a purpose once more. It suited him. Alfred knew, deep down, that Martha and Thomas would be very proud of the young man Bruce was becoming.

/1994\

Only after he finished high school did Bruce start really going out there. Not just stopping muggings but getting involved in the more dangerous things that happened in the shadows of Gotham City. And oh, there were so many. So many things happening in the cover of darkness. So much more than just people stealing, breaking and entering, beating others up or even murdering.

There was a special breed of criminals in Gotham City that donned colorful masks and committed very... eccentric crimes, to put it mildly. Some harmless but weird, others incredibly reckless and dangerous. Many... absolutely awful. Those. Those should be his purpose.

Because as much as the police struggled with the regular crimes, they simply stood no chance against the weirder criminals Gotham City was hiding away. Criminals the size of Bruce's old comic books. The Flash. Bruce missed him. When Alfred had started training him, admittedly, young Bruce had dreamed of one day meeting the Flash and working at his side. Yet the Flash hadn't been sighted in six years now; Johnny Quick and Liberty Belle had recently disappeared too.

In a strange way, that only strengthened Bruce's resolve even more. The world needed protection and while he couldn't explain the speedsters, they evidently were real. And without them, others had to step up. Bruce, he felt like he was meant to step up. This was his calling, this was what he had trained for. To become a protector of Gotham City.

"And you're sure about the ears?" asked Alfred with one raised eyebrow.

Frowning, Bruce turned back toward the mirror, slowly turning once. So far, his outfit had been simple armor, not really with a design. Just black to blend in. Now, now that he wanted to do more than stop night-time robberies, he had wanted a bit of a design upgrade. A theme. The Flash was the Flash because he was that quick, quick as lightning, he had a symbol of recognition in the lightning bolt. When they had started making their hide-out, he had been afraid of the bats everywhere, but as Alfred had said, they too were just creatures of the night and he had overcome his fear and accepted them. And since Bruce and Alfred had started calling their hide-out the Bat Cave, he had decided to commit to this theme. The bat shall be his symbol. And he shall be Batman.

"They sell the bit. Go well with the cape too," argued Bruce, flopping his cape.

Alfred made a small noise but didn't comment any further. Bruce took that for what it was worth and left. Time to establish contact with the police. That part was important to him. He didn't just want to be in the shadows anymore – though the shadows remained an important part of his existence. He needed a contact, someone to deliver the criminals to, someone to keep updated. Because while not working as police, he wanted to stay within the parameters of the law.

Aside from that, Bruce had everything he needed. He had the equipment, the suit, even a very fancy ride, he had the man in his ear and his backup in Alfred. He was set. Double and triple checking everything in his head, despite knowing that he was all set.

"Detective Gordon. I'm here to make you a proposal."

Jim Gordon dropped his lighter, startled. The man had been a mere rookie back when Bruce's parents had died, but he had worked his way up since then. He was a good cop, Bruce had done a thorough check to make sure of that. Young father by now too, had a little girl that was turning four this year. He was a good father too, wanted to make Gotham better for his little girl. That was the kind of man Bruce's father had been and that was the kind of man Bruce wanted to work with.

"What in the world kind of costume party did you escape from?"

Bruce frowned and straightened up as he watched Jim pick up his lighter again. The man came up here to smoke in peace, escaping the noisy station downstairs. Clearing his throat, Bruce approached just a little more, stepping into the dim light up here.

"I'm Batman. And I'm going to protect this city. I want your help doing it, Detective Gordon."

"Sure, sure. Gonna team up with teenagers playing dress-up," Jim snorted amused.

"I'll prove myself to you, Detective Gordon, and you'll come around," promised Bruce.

He smirked to himself as he turned around and jumped off the ledge of the building. Time to be Batman. Time to show what he could do. How he could change this world.

/1996\

Twenty-one was too young to take care of a child. Bruce stared in startled terror at the tiny brunette running around his office. Something shattered on the floor and Bruce winced.

"I would recommend reigning her in," advised Alfred, clearly amused.

"But can't you-" Bruce's voice was only vaguely desperate.

"Oh no. She is your cousin, you promised your aunt to babysit her. I have dinner to cook."

Smirking to himself, Alfred walked away. How... How... How unfair. Alfred knew how to watch a child, how to raise a child – he had practically raised Bruce, really. Bruce? He hadn't even had contact with other children when he had been a child!

"K... Kate, no, put that down!" Bruce pleaded with the little girl.

Kate turned her large eyes on him curiously. She was only six years old, far too young for Bruce to do reasonable things with her. Filled with so much energy and also mischief. Made worse by the missing of her better half; the twins were best not separated.

"I'm bo—ored, Brucie," Kate whined with a pout.

Bruce's uncle Jacob was currently deployed and Beth was sick, so aunt Gabi had taken Beth to the hospital and asked Bruce to watch Kate. How could he deny his aunt? They had been there for Bruce. After Alfred, they had been his greatest support. Hanukkah and Thanksgiving, accompanying his aunt to the synagogue, shared birthday celebrations. They were his family, the only blood-family he had left. He cherished them.

"Mh... How about we go to the garden and explore? Maybe we find a treasure?"

Kate perked up some at that and nodded wildly. While Bruce wasn't sure about anything worth being called a treasure, he was also sure this would tire Kate out and that seemed like a victory.

/1998\

"You know, I am starting to feel quite flattered by the attention you're paying to me."

Bruce remained stoic even as she winked flirtatiously at him. She'd been doing that, lately. Flirting with him. Smiles and winks, something wicked in her deep, dark eyes. It did things to him, things he wasn't ready to confront and things he wasn't ready to show either. Yet she knew, even with his most stoic mask, she seemed able to read him. Because she knew him. No one outside his family knew him longer than Selina Kyle. Ten years today, to be precise.

Ten years ago, Bruce had first run into Selina and Pamela in the streets. He'd given them money, awkwardly so, because he hadn't known what else to do. Twelve years old and never really having personally faced poverty before. Seeing these two kids, younger than him, with nothing.

The money was not appreciated, as he got told a couple of nights later when Selina had tracked him down during his rounds. The fact that she had, within just a week, figured out his route and found him again so easily had really impressed Bruce. The pride in her eyes and voice had too. She had made it clear that the only reason she accepted the money was because Pamela hadn't eaten in two days and Selina put her family before her pride.

She stalked him for a while. Couple of weeks. He could feel her eyes on him when he was out on patrol. He let her. Let her see that he was doing good. Or trying to do good. After a couple of weeks, she confronted him again and they set up some... ground rules. No violence. No taking from those who needed their money themselves; only rich targets, where a couple hundreds weren't missed. No one got hurt and Bruce would steer clear of Selina and her little group of thieves.

They were mostly girls, children. Homeless, with no one to care for them, so they cared for each other. Bruce found it... fascinating. And impressive. He wanted to help, even if just steering clear of them was what would do the trick. Selina promised no one would get hurt and she also promised to take from the rich and not others in need themselves. It wasn't ideal, but Bruce recognized that it worked and that it helped better Gotham, even if just for this one group of orphans.

Over the years, they ran into each other over and over. Talked. Became... something like friends. Bruce wasn't used to having friends. She was snarky, mischievous, but also very brilliant and kind.

And beautiful. The young girl with the wild curls had grown into a beautiful, young woman. These days, she wore her hair in countless tiny braids, dyed pastel purple toward the tips. It suited her well, he thought. Then again, everything suited her. And he'd seen quite some hairstyles over the years; she liked to try new things every now and again.

"Now that it's our ten year anniversary," - ah, so Selina was aware of that too - "I think you do owe me one answer. Why are you this invested in us? You catch the thieves and delivered them to the police. Now, you catch the super-powered criminals and deliver them to Arkham. But you let us slide. What? Is it because you and I are starcrossed lovers, Romeo and Juliet but from different sides of the law? And you just can not bear the thought of me behind bars?"

The smirk on her lips was teasing and playful, but deep down, Bruce knew there was an inkling of truth to it. Just as Bruce had grown as a vigilante, they had grown as criminals. Pickpocketing had evolved into breaking and entering. Even some bigger heists – though, always things that were heavily insured, so there was no damage left behind. Still, rationally speaking, he knew he should put Selina behind bars. But he couldn't. Not her. And it might have evolved from the original reason quite some time ago and perhaps, just perhaps, there was something. Something yet unnamed. Something deep. Something Bruce wasn't ready to confront or explore just yet.

"In a way... I saw myself in you," Bruce offered after a moment.

"Yeah, I see the resemblance between us too, rich white boy," Selina raised her eyebrows at him.

Bruce shuffled a little awkwardly. "Not that. Obviously. But... you live on the streets, because you have no one. I lost my parents when I was nine years old and... I was lucky. I was incredibly lucky. I had our... I had a family friend who took me in and my parents left me more than enough money so him and I could get through this, so he could take care of me. But without that, without the money, without the family friend, I never thought about how lucky I was. I always only saw how unlucky I was for losing my family in the first place. But meeting you and Pam, I saw just... how much worse I could have been off. How much harder my life could have been. So I wanted to help."

Selina regarded him curiously and tilted her head. After a moment, she threw something at Bruce and, with a smile on her lips, she did a back-flip off the building. Frowning, Bruce looked at it. It was a fist-sized, fluffy stuffed bat toy with huge, sparkly eyes. He smiled amused and shook his head as he saw the little tag attached to its neck. Happy Anniversary.

/1999\

Gotham City was continuously losing its mind. Bruce meant it quite literally; the increase of mentally ill super-villains was concerning. Wayne Enterprise had been making contributions to Arkham Asylum to improve both security as well as the care they could give. But it started to feel Sisyphean. However hard he worked to push for change, he felt constantly set back.

"What, the great Bruce Wayne not having any plans for the big bang of the millennium?"

Eyebrows drawn down, Bruce turned on the lights in the living room to find Selina Kyle lounging on the couch. Security at the manor was impeccable, but Selina had also become an incredibly capable thief. Capable enough to break into Wayne Manor, apparently. He supposed that he fell into the category of people Selina would rob. Rich, not going to miss the money if it was gone.

"Look out the window," Selina prompted him.

Now, he raised one eyebrow. Was this how she usually robbed people? Still, he obeyed the request and went to look out the window. His other eyebrow joined the first as he saw the garden. It looked lush and beautiful. Sure, Alfred cared for it, moderately, but they hadn't had... flowers, not since Martha had died. The roses, Martha's beautiful, prize-winning roses that had died about a year after Martha and Thomas' death, they were at full bloom. As beautiful as he remembered them. His eyes stung as for a moment, he could see his mother standing among the roses, smiling at him.

"Pam fixed them up," explained Selina. "She took one look at that garden, huffed offended and went to tend to them. You have a beautiful garden, take better care of it."

"Why..." Bruce trailed off as he realized. "How?"

"Really?" Selina chuckled as she sat up. "There aren't that many rich white boys my age in Gotham City and the number of those who lost both their parents... significantly narrowed it down."

Bruce grunted. That was... true. He should be more careful. He was usually so careful. But something about Selina, she just got under his skin. She made him open up in a way he wasn't used to opening up anymore. Pressing his lips together into a thin line, he turned back to her.

"Don't worry, Bats, your secret is safe with me," promised Selina with a crooked smile.

"Is that why you came here?" asked Bruce a bit confused.

"Well, no. I've known for a year now, coming all the way here for just that seems silly. I came here because I have a present for you. And after being here, I think you really need it."

Before Bruce could ask what she was talking about, something barked and came running toward him quite excitedly. A... puppy. A very, very small puppy, but by the looks of it, it had some Great Dane in it. Not a pure-breed though. With furrowed brows did he bend down to pick it up.

"What... is that?" asked Bruce, lifting the puppy above his head.

"A dog. Your detective skills need some polishing," noted Selina amused.

Bruce gave her the most unimpressed glare. "I can see that. I meant... why is it here."

"He is here because you are a sad lonely rich boy who needs some company. I've been watching you, Bruce Wayne. And... you never spend time with anyone aside from your butler-dad. That's... super sad. You need to get out there more. Live a little."

Live a little? Mh. Bruce supposed she was right. The more recluse he became, the more the newspapers gossiped about him, about what he had to hide. That was getting dangerous. Especially if Selina had already figured out for herself who he was. He needed to protect his identity.

"...Thank you for the gift," Bruce squeezed an eye shut as the dog licked his face.

"His name is Ace. Pam named him," Selina grinned and rolled off the couch. "I'm not much of a dog-person. More... a fan of cats, you know. But you seem like you could use a puppy."

"Can... you help me with something?" asked Bruce before she could leave the room.

She paused, curiously. One hand on the door-frame, she slowly turned back to look at him.

"What could I possibly help you with, Mister Wayne?" Selina's voice was playful.

Bruce sat down on the couch, putting the puppy down on his lap. Ace's tail was wagging widely as he sniffed Bruce and ran in a circle a couple of times. Then, he just flopped down. Adorable.

"I've been... living my life exclusively to become and now to be Batman. I haven't been something else since I was nine years old. I don't know if I can be anything else. But you're right. I need to be something else. I can't risk people finding out that I am Batman. Batman has been making some... very dangerous, very unstable enemies in recent years," Bruce admitted softly.

Selina walked back to him and then sat down on top of the table right in front of Bruce, sitting cross-legged. She rested her elbows on her knees, holding her face and staring at him.

"Okay so you don't just... want a life. You want a fake life that helps divert from the fact that you like to dress up as a bat to beat up dangerous clowns," Selina summed up with a playful smile. "In my experience, pretending to be the opposite of what you are works well. Pam and I, we've been doing the sweet little girl act for many years until we outgrew it. Now, the younger kids do it. Dress up in clean, fancy clothes that makes them look rich, pretend to just be lost as a distraction. Because no one expects the pretty rich-looking kid to be a homeless kid or a thief."

That made perfect sense, just one problem. "What is the opposite of Batman?"

"Loose. Bright, colorful. The center of attention. Social," listed Selina slowly.

Mh. Bruce's eyes narrowed as an idea formed in his mind. Very well, he could work with that.

"Thank you, Selina. That... was truly helpful."

Selina nodded and got off the table. Though before she left, she leaned forward and kissed him on the lips. He stared, surprised, just to have... literal fireworks going off behind himself.

"Happy New Year, Bruce," whispered Selina. "Well, happy new millennia. See you around."

Bruce's eyes found the clock on the fireplace. Oh. It was midnight. New Year's Eve.

/2000\

"Seli—ina, your boyfriend is in the papers again," Pamela called out teasingly.

Glowering, Selina turned away from the cats she was currently feeding. Pamela walked over to her, holding up a paper. There was ivy growing in her hair, tying it into a braid that laid over her shoulder. During her teenage years, her powers had manifested. Meta-powers. Plant-powers. It had been weird at first, because her skin started turning a soft green. By now, it was a slightly more intense shade of green. Usually, she wore long sleeves, if possible also gloves, while make-up did the trick on her face. Because the green stood out. Still, she seemed to love the powers.

Selina had freaked out at first. Talking to plants? Turning green? She didn't know who to turn to. The thing was, Selina wasn't that much more of an adult either. She was only three years older than Pam, had only been a teenager back then. Not knowing who to turn to, she found herself stalking Bruce on one of his late-night rounds, cornering him, asking him for advise.

When she didn't know who to turn to, there was always Bruce Wayne.

He was so calm and calming too. He had this aura, like he knew exactly what he was doing, what he had to do. Had everything in control, and even if he didn't, he stayed calm and presented as though he did. Selina found him admirable. She liked to rely on it when she felt lost.

The nice part was that it seemed Bruce relied on her just as much. A small smile found its way onto Selina's lips as she looked at the newspaper. Notorious Playboy Found in Fountain. That was the public persona Bruce had chosen; an air-headed, careless playboy. He wanted to party, sleep around, have fun, not a care in the world. The exact opposite of what Batman stood for. The fact that he was drawing extra attention to himself now also served to draw attention away from him. Why would Batman want to be in the public eye, after all? No, the recluse billionaire, that was the suspicious one. And mh, on top of it all, Bruce looked very good in a suit.

"He's not my boyfriend, Pam. He's just a friend."

/2001\

It was meant to be a fun day out. He'd taken his cousins and their best friend to the circus. The girls were eleven years old and absolutely obsessed with the circus – their new best friend was to be blamed for that. Harleen Quinzel, a girl they had loosely known for years now going to the same synagogue, but now that they were attending middle school, they were in the same class and had befriended the blonde. She was such an extrovert, very easy going and happy and bright. Bruce could see why the twins had so quickly befriended her; she seemed like the kind of person who could make anyone become her friend if she set her mind to it.

Now, Harley – as the girl preferred to be called – was currently very obsessed with the circus, especially with acrobats. And that obsession was contagious, it seemed. It was all Beth and Kate had been talking about for weeks now, so when Bruce opened the newspaper to see an advertisement for a circus in town, particularly highlighting a group of acrobats called The Flying Graysons, Bruce knew exactly how he could make his cousins' day. And Harley's.

The sentiment had been great. The outcome was anything but, as they watched the Graysons die.

"Alfred, take the girls out! Back to the car!" Bruce barked as he stood hastily.

He got up and pushed in front of them, while Alfred grabbed their hands. "Where is Miss Quinzel?"

"I'll go and find her, she was so curious about the animals earlier," Bruce frowned irritated.

Everything was a mess. People were screaming, children were crying. Many were trying to rush out of the exits, pushing and shoving others. The sight had been gruesome, but what Bruce cared about was the little boy still standing all the way up on the platform. He had just witnessed his parents die and Bruce knew what that kind of shock could do to a child. If he fainted, if he even for a second forgot where he was, moved on autopilot, he could very well fall and die too.

"Harley!" Bruce called out loudly as he made his way toward the center stage. "Harley!"

He could see the cages in the back through the open curtain. For a moment, his eyes drifted back to the boy on the platform. The child still stood frozen to the spot, unmoved. Quickly, Bruce ran through the opening toward the cages, just to find little Harley perched in front of two hyenas. He stared at her, startled. The girl tilted her head, her blonde pigtails bouncing with the movement.

She wore two differently colored scrunchies, because she hadn't worn pigtails when they had picked her up, but then she had seen Kate and Beth with matching pigtails and had done that thing little girls could do where their eyes grew to the size of about a third of their heads, glimmering. Beth and Kate regularly weaponized this against Bruce. Harley had effectively used it with the girls and each had given her one of their scrunchies, adjusting their own hair to each only be one ponytail. Now Harley wore Beth's blue on the left side and Kate's red one on the right. It was kind of adorable. Blue was Beth's color, red was Kate's color and Harley, she liked mixing both. Bruce found it a touching display of their friendship and he was glad the girls had such a friend.

"Look! The puppies are so cute. Do you think I can have one?" asked Harley.

Had... She hadn't noticed what had happened on stage at all. She must have sneaked away even before. Bruce heaved a relieved sigh and bent down to pick the girl up.

"I doubt it, Harley. These aren't... house-puppies, like Ace is. But if you run over to Alfred really quickly now and promise to stay with him, you can play with Ace all you want," promised Bruce.

For a moment, Harley looked thoughtful, but then she nodded quickly. After a second to orient himself, Bruce determined in which direction their car stood. He pulled a knife, quickly cutting the tent for a shortcut. There, he could see Alfred, Kate and Beth close to the car.

"Run to them. Tell Alfred to take you girls home with him," instructed Bruce.

"Won't you come too?" asked Harley with large eyes.

"I have something else to take care of," replied Bruce as he put Harley down.

She looked at him curiously for another second, before she ran off toward Alfred. Well, this visit to the circus had not been what he had planned. Quickly, Bruce climbed up the small ladder. The boy had not moved an inch from his spot, standing completely still, eyes fixated on his parents' dead bodies on the ground. Slowly, Bruce pushed himself into the small space on the platform, between the boy and the sight of his dead parents. No child should see that.

"Hello," Bruce's voice was soft. "I'm Bruce. Bruce Wayne. What's your name?"

"Dick," the boy's voice was distracted, he was still staring blankly through Bruce.

"Dick. Hello, Dick. It's nice to meet you. Why... Why don't we get down from here?"

Carefully did he approach the boy and opened his arms. Dick didn't agree but he also didn't protest. He was clearly in shock. Bruce was gentle as he picked the boy up and hoisted him against his chest, holding him close with one arm so he could hold onto the ladder with the other. By the time he got down, police had already gathered around the bodies.

"Bruce Wayne. What is a billionaire doing on my crime scene?"

"Detective Gordon," Bruce nodded briefly at the older man. "I was in the audience, with my cousins. They're quite enamored with the circus these days. Their friend..."

"Harley Quinn," concluded Jim, adjusting his glasses. "Yes. The girl's been so excited about the circus, Barbara has been talking about nothing but it for days. I... already bought tickets too, for this weekend when I'm off, to take her as a surprise. Gather that's not going to work out."

Bruce grunted slowly. He had forgotten that Jim's little girl was now in the same class as Beth and Kate. The girls didn't seem particularly close yet though, but Bruce had to admit there was something amusing to it. His cousins and the daughter of his GCPD contact.

"What happened and who is this?" asked Jim after a moment, pointing at the boy.

"Dick. Dick Grayson. He's the son..." Bruce trailed off and Jim nodded in acknowledgment.

"Let's get the boy out of here and talk then," suggested Jim with furrowed brows.

/break\

Bruce tried to keep tabs on Dick after the incident. When he got picked up by the system, placed with a foster family. After a few days, the boy had run off. The problem was, that was where Bruce lost him. And Bruce knew, he knew why he was so invested. He'd been there. Physically there to see the boy go through his trauma. Emotionally there, where Dick currently was.

"Batman. It's always so nice to see you, but so rare to have you drop by."

Bruce frowned at Pamela. She'd embraced her powers by now, green skin, plants adoring her clothes. Her hair seemed so much more intense in contrast to the green skin. Out here, back out behind their hide-out, she showed who she was. Occasionally when she went out too. Especially when she did so alone – liberating plants, getting revenge on those who hurt nature. That was something she had slowly been getting more and more invested in. For the most part, Bruce appreciated her; she exposed firms that released their toxic waste into rivers, building on nature reserves. At first, she had been very destructive and violent in her endeavors, but Bruce quickly redirected her anger. There was a right and a wrong way. Now, she gathered the evidence, passed it on to him, or left the culprits tied by veins and trees, mostly unharmed.

"Is Selina home? I need your help. It's urgent."

Pamela raised her eyebrows curiously, but she nodded and led the way inside. As he followed, Bruce let his eyes drift around. He saw a few new faces, but also many old ones. Kids who had been with Pam and Selina for years now, had grown into teens by now. The house was nice. A proper house. Bruce remembered the beginnings, back in the day, when Pam and Selina used to hide in abandoned warehouses and such. They'd stolen enough to actually pay for a place. A real place, with heating, running water, furniture. And a lot of cats.

"Selina, your favorite superhero is here to save the day," announced Pamela.

They found her in the kitchen, portioning tuna onto small plates for the cats, five of them brushing against her arms and legs in an attempt to endear her to them in particular. Her hair was put up into two buns, one on either side of her head, with two thin braids on each side hanging loose, framing her face as she turned to look at Bruce, a smile in her dark eyes.

"Well, well, a rare guest. What can we do for you?"

With a serious frown on his face did Bruce approach her and pull out a photo of Dick. "This is Dick Grayson. He ran away. I... have many other things to attend and am not an expert on tracking down runaway orphans. You, however... have all of the connections needed for this job."

"A job implies payment," Selina quipped amused. "What's this about? Who is the kid?"

Bruce averted his eyes from her, instead looking at one of the cats. "The boy was part of the circus. I was there, attending a... His parents died, during the act. He was there. He saw it. I..."

Selina rested a gentle, comforting hand on his arm. "I'll tell the kids. We'll keep an eye out. What... do you want us to do when we find him?"

"Offer him a place to stay. Keep an eye on him. Tell me. I'll come by."

"Are you alright?" Selina asked as Bruce was already halfway out the door.

Bruce didn't answer her, he simply lingered for a moment longer before leaving. An impossible to answer question, really. Was he ever truly alright? Could he ever be? On days as today, he doubted it. He had been plagued with nightmares ever since the day at the circus. Of his own parents. He hadn't had those nightmares in years now. He naively had thought he might have gotten over it.

/break\

"You're quick. And bendy. That's handy."

Dick froze and slowly turned to look at the woman who had caught him. Not a cop. Definitely not. Cops didn't dress in strange, purple body-suits with... cat-ears? What little he saw of the woman herself, he'd say she was relatively young – younger than his parents had been – and tall, curvy and black-skinned. It was the purple body-suit that confused him, really.

"Who... are you? What do you want?"

"I'm... Well, that's a two part question, really. I'm Selina. But around here, I'm known as Catwoman. Might have heard the name before," offered the lady in the cat-suit.

That explained that, at least. Catwoman. He frowned curiously. He had heard of that name. The Gotham City Sirens, they had been dubbed by the papers. A group of lady and girl thieves. Their leader was the Catwoman. His father, he had read it aloud from the newspapers the day before he had... Dick's jaw locked and he looked away from the woman.

"What do you want, ma'am?"

"Ma'am? No, no. I am far too young to be called that," she huffed offended. "Selina will do. A friend of mine sent me to check on you. He's worried about you."

"I don't know anybody here," Dick grunted, a glare on his face.

"He was there, the night your parents... died. He knows it's a lot, knows why you ran off."

"Yeah, right," Dick huffed with a glare.

Selina looked thoughtful for a moment, considering her words by the look of it. "He's been there too. He knows what it's like to lose your parents, to... see them die. He's a good man, a kind man. And he worries, for how you are handling it."

"The man who picked me up?" Dick asked, expression softening a little. "He was... kind."

The man who had climbed all the way up, had made him look away and picked him up. He had been... soothing. And the only one, of all of these people, to care about getting him down, about him still being there. Everyone else had scattered and screamed and only cared about themselves.

"Listen, kid. You can come and stay with me and my people for a while. Roof overhead, food on the table. Kids who get what you're going through," offered Selina. "It's your choice."

Wasn't much of a choice, was it. The circus had already left town. Dick was on the run from social workers, in a foreign city that he didn't know at all. With a shrug did he decide to follow her.

/break\

Bruce came over to visit Dick regularly for a few weeks. Forming a bond with the boy. It wasn't hard; he could relate to the child and he had been there when Dick had lost his parents. While the boy seemed fine with Selina's group, Bruce still offered, at one point, for Dick to come stay with him. The group itself was fine, but Dick wasn't a thief. The way they acquired their income didn't sit right with the boy. Bruce wanted to offer Dick a chance at regaining some normalcy, which didn't seem quite possible when living with a group of teenage and child thieves.

Dick seemed reluctant at first, but with some encouragement from Selina, he decided to give Bruce a chance. The way the boy's eyes had widened when he first stepped into Wayne Manor had been quite amusing. Alfred had offered the child a warm smile and a warm meal.

Of course had Bruce first talked this through with Alfred. The other man thought this was not beneficial for Bruce's by now carefully cultivated public persona – drunk partying playboy bachelor taking in an orphaned, traumatized child...? Not only did it not fit, it might also not go through.

Lucius Fox helped them out, with just a few little tweaks. Selina had smiled at him teasingly about breaking the law; he rather looked at it as bending. Mary Grayson was now the second cousin of Thomas Wayne, making Bruce the last living relative of Dick's. That strengthened his case and also justified why Bruce would take the boy in, not abandoning family.

Bruce Wayne was now the legal guardian of Dick Grayson.

/2002\

Being a legal guardian and actually raising a child was quite a difference. One had been a few bureaucratic hoops to jump through, the other was the greatest challenge Bruce Wayne had ever faced. Being a parental figure. And to a child who had lost his parents, at that. He tried to give the boy boundaries, rules. But Dick wasn't one to sit still.

Dick was ten and not used to sitting still. He was a circus child, used to traveling. Not going to school, having a regular schedule at the same place. He was also used to more exercise. School's gym class was nothing. Walking with Ace helped get rid of some energy, but not too much.

Wayne Manor needed some remodeling. The manor had high ceilings already and it was just a matter of tearing a wall or two down, adding equipment, a tight-rope too.

"This is amazing!" exclaimed Beth excitedly.

She was jumping on the trampoline. Bruce had just bought a bunch of gymnastics equipment and some things that just looked fun. Beth, Kate and her friends were two years older than Dick, but close enough in age that Bruce hoped they'd get along. Dick and Harley definitely immediately hit it off. Harley had a billion questions about the circus life and was the most eager to have Dick teach her tricks and routines. Harley's enthusiasm proved once more to be contagious and Beth, Kate and Barbara were also eager to learn. Barbara and Dick got along in particular.

"This is fun! I feel like Batman!" exclaimed Barbara as she swung on the ropes.

"More like a Batgirl," corrected Beth with a giggle.

Bruce had his arms crossed as he watched the children climb around and play around. It was the first time he saw Dick smile. Laugh once more. That was good. Bruce hoped this would help.

/break\

It had helped but it wasn't enough. Bruce could see the same kind of darkness in the boy that he himself had been through when his parents had died. He'd talked it through with Alfred, excessively. They came to the same conclusion in the end. So they led Dick downstairs.

"Whoa—ah. What is all of this?" Dick looked around the cave in awe.

"The Bat Cave," replied Bruce. "You understand, you can not tell anyone. Not even your friends."

"You're... You're..." Dick walked over to stand in front of the glass-case with the Bat-suit.

"I'm Batman," confirmed Bruce. "And I was about your age when I started to train to become Batman. I became Batman, because my parents had died and I had watched them die."

Dick frowned, a hand pressed against the glass. He looked doubtful, but also eager and curious.

"We do not plan on letting you out there to fight actual criminals any time soon," stated Alfred. "But I know the training alone helped ground Bruce. It will help you too, we believe."

Dick nodded slowly, reluctantly. "O... Okay."

Bruce smiled softly as he looked at the child. All he wanted was to give some guidance, help the boy as best as he could. The one thing Bruce truly could was be Batman.

/2003\

"Mister Wayne. You are looking impeccable. As always."

Bruce turned to look at her. "Talia. A compliment I can only return."

He took the woman's hand and kissed it with a smile. Talia al Ghul. A powerful, influential woman. The daughter of Ra's al Ghul. Among all of the criminals in Gotham, he was one of the most dangerous. The leader of the League of Assassins, an ancient cult of assassins. Bruce had faced off with Ra's a couple of times over the years, had left an impression on the leader. If it were up to Ra's, then Bruce would be married to Talia and become heir of the demon. Nothing Bruce was interested in. Yes, Talia was a beautiful woman and Bruce was certainly attracted to her, but he didn't see a romantic future with her. There was only one woman he saw a future with... and that thought alone scared him. Especially since him and Selina had never openly spoken of their feelings. They weren't a couple, both had had hook-ups with other people over the years, never with each other. What they had was a deep bond, one that went unacknowledged by either.

"Congratulations to fatherhood are in order, if I understand that right," Talia smiled coyly.

"Yes. Thank you. He is a... very good boy," Bruce nodded slowly to himself.

The two talked, laughed, danced and drank, until the night led them to Talia's hotel room. It wasn't the first time the two had ended up in bed together. There surely was passion between them, even if there was no love to be found. Yet every time Bruce did, he felt lost. Empty. Missing something.

/break\

Bruce, Alfred and Dick stood together in the first row, the child between them, head tilted down. Bruce's own throat was tight, he rested a hand on Dick's shoulder, trying to comfort him. Despite not being family, Harley stood with them, sobbing loudly and clutching a white stuffed bunny. She'd gotten that from Beth for her last birthday. She was Beth's best friend. Had been Beth's best friend.

Kate was with her father, quiet. She barely had spoken since the news had reached them.

Gabi and Beth Kane had died. They had died and Bruce couldn't save them. Again. Again, he had lost family, right in front of his eyes, and he was unable to save them. The car fell off the bridge and Gabi and Beth were lost in the river. He had been able to save Kate, but when he looked at her right now, she didn't look very saved. She looked lost. Broken.

Dick reached a hand out to take Harley's, giving it a squeeze. He had only known the girls for a few months, but he had come to like them. And now he had lost one of his friends and he didn't know just how to comfort the others. So he tried, just as Bruce tried.

/break\

Bruce sat on his chair in the corner, staring out at the garden. His beautiful rose-garden. He knew that Pamela sneaked onto the property every now and again to make sure the flowers were still doing well. Beth and Kate used to love playing in the rose-garden, playing hide and seek. Slowly, he lifted his glass up and took a drink. Beth was never going to play in that garden again.

"I'm sorry for your loss," Selina's voice was soft and her touch gentle as she wrapped her arms around his neck from behind. "I know how important your aunt was for you. And..."

There were no words to express the loss of a child. Instead, Selina simply embraced him tighter, resting her chin on his head. There was no greater solace than her. In his world of darkness and turmoil, Selina was the one fixed constant. Which was ironic, considering she wasn't a constant person, she was always in flux. Always moving.

"Where are Alfred and the kid?" asked Selina after another moment.

"Alfred is... around somewhere. Dick is at the Gordons' place," replied Bruce.

"And where are you?"

What a loaded question. Bruce reached up to hold her hand, eyes closing. He'd been somewhere else. In the past. Days when Kate and Beth would run around the garden, laughing and alive. That wasn't the present anymore. The present was Kate, heartbroken, unwilling to give up on her sister. Uncle Jacob, lost and overwhelmed by being a single-parent, by trying to balance his own grief over losing his wife and one of his daughters with trying to console his other daughter through her own grief. They were all drowning, with no idea how to get out.

"Lost," admitted Bruce after a beat. "It's like loss is following me."

Selina had her lips pressed against the top of Bruce's head, a gentle kiss. They'd never kissed, aside from that one New Year's Eve, and Bruce didn't quite know if it counted. Suddenly, it struck him as wrong, that they had never kissed. He knew why, because he had tried to flee from his own feelings. Loving someone made him vulnerable to loss. He knew why he had never made friends, not after his parents' death, why he didn't let anyone in aside from Alfred, who had been there before. But that was a lie too, wasn't it? Even if he never said it aloud, it didn't change his feelings for Selina. Even if he denied it, he might be considering Pamela a friend too, in a way. He had let Dick in, was responsible for the boy now. He loved his cousins so fiercely, had now lost Beth. Regardless of how much he tried to not get attached to avoid loss, he couldn't change his feelings.

As though this realization had just overcome him for the first time and given him much-needed clarity, he reached around for her, grasping her by the neck and pulling her into a soft kiss. She looked startled as they parted, though not in a negative way.

"You shouldn't do that if you are being led by your grief," whispered Selina.

"It's not grief," corrected Bruce. "I am not seeking out your comfort to drown out my grief. Loss is a part of my life. But losing you at one point should not keep me from being with you now. Not being with you doesn't... undo the feelings I have for you."

Now, Selina looked truly surprised. Bruce Wayne wasn't the kind of person who easily talked about his feelings. Part of her had come to terms with what they had being the way it was. She wasn't going to push, she wasn't going to chase after someone not ready to commit. And it wasn't like she had spent the past years sitting on her windowsill, waiting for him. She'd had fun. A lot of it. But never the kind of feelings that Bruce caused in her.

"Feelings for me?" repeated Selina softly, tracing Bruce's jawline.

"I went out for drinks with my uncle the other day. His eyes are so empty. He forces himself to keep going, mostly for Kate's sake. He lost his daughter, but he also lost the love of his life. There were regrets, he regretted every fight he ever had with my aunt, regretted not asking her out earlier, every second of time he could have had with her that he had wasted. I don't want to waste time anymore."

A pleased smile spread over Selina's lips as she leaned down to kiss him this time.

/break\

When he woke up, Bruce smiled. He'd been smiling more lately. Selina made him smile. Simply waking up with her in his arms made him smile and feel warm. Part of him had thought he couldn't be Batman if he was happy, if he had love and people he loved in his life.

He had Alfred, Dick, Selina, Kate, Jacob. He had love and he needed love. Without its light, he would drown in the darkness. To be able to fight the darkness of Gotham City, he needed the light of love in his life to guide him through it and give him the strength to keep going.

"Good morning," Selina's voice was a purr as she kissed his cheek.

"Good morning to you too," Bruce slowly sat up. "Alfred brought us breakfast."

"Of course he did," Selina chuckled fondly, reaching for a waffle. "I start thinking the man is trying to bribe me into staying over more with his cooking."

"That might very well be," Bruce quirked a smirk.

While Selina took the tray of food and started eating, Bruce unfolded the newspaper. These quiet mornings where it were just the two of them, Bruce loved them. They were like a bubble, a happy little bubble where nothing was wrong. A curious noise escaped Bruce as he scanned the articles. Lex Luthor announced his engagement to a Miss Lana Lang. Bruce had met Luthor often for business transactions, charity events. He'd met Miss Lang too. A charming, lovely woman, who seemed to be making Luthor a better man. Bruce's eyes wandered. Harvey Dent has become DA. He was a good man, Bruce had worked with him on some occasions, as Batman.

"Stop drifting off into real world things," Selina swatted at the newspaper, taking it away. "Stay in the now, with me. Here, in your bed."

"That is an invitation I can not decline," Bruce leaned in to kiss her.

/2004\

Beth's death had fueled Dick. He'd been reluctant about becoming a junior vigilante at first. He did enjoy the training, sparring with Alfred and Bruce. The costume Mister Fox had made for him was great too. It was a distraction, but it felt more like play pretend. And then Beth had died and it felt... different. Losing his parents had hurt, more than anything, but seeing someone his own age just... be gone. It was unreal. People Dick's age didn't die. Shouldn't. It made him feel frightened, in a different way. So he trained even more fiercer, put his all in it.

He was twelve years old when Bruce finally agreed to take him out for the first time. Let him tag along. His costume and moniker were inspired by his parents, honoring them. Robin.

Though Dick was aware that Bruce was taking it easy on him. They avoided the more dangerous areas, they stopped a robbery. Which, Dick knew, wasn't something to be easily shrugged off, because it was how Bruce had lost his parents. Still, Dick also knew what Batman normally went up against and that was a whole different ballgame.

But Dick understood that they were trying to ease him into it. That they tried to shield him. Didn't make it any less frustrating though. And what was just as frustrating was keeping secrets from his friends. Kate was still struggling with partaking in everyday things and Harley had thrown herself into her newest obsession. After the circus, she had now decided to become a psychiatrist.

And she was actually serious about. What fourteen year old read thick, heavy tombs about psychology and grief just for fun, after all? No, Harley saw the way Kate struggled with her grief and she had decided to help. To make Gotham better, in her own way. Where Bruce had gone out to seek a way to prevent tragedy, Harley had the same impulse, but hers led her to becoming someone who would help others cope with the aftermath of tragedy. Dick found it admirable.

Personally, Dick had no idea what he was going to do with his life. For as long as he remembered, he always thought his path was set. He was going to be an acrobat, just like his parents. Spend all his life at the circus. The circus was long gone, his parents were gone. He was attending a fancy, expensive school, but he was also training to become a vigilante. He had also been adopted by a billionaire, so technically, he probably didn't even need a day job at all. For now, he decided that was good enough and that he didn't have to worry about any of this just now. He was only twelve, after all. The future was still so far away.

"You're hiding something," it was a statement, not a question.

Babs narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously. The redhead had become his best friend quite easily. And unlike Dick, she seemed to know exactly what she wanted in life. Become a cop just like her dad. Considering the look she currently gave him, Dick would say she had that interrogation thing down to an art-form already. He squirmed, wincing a little.

"You have been behaving suspiciously. And it aligns with the first sightings of Robin. Which, in itself was already suspicious. Batman doesn't do partners. Now, Batman has to be super rich, obviously, considering all the gadgets he has. And while his costume makes it incredibly hard to pinpoint his age, Robin's age seems more straight forward. You are the right age, living with a billionaire. My theory is that Bruce is Batman and you gave it away, because you are Robin."

Dick made a distressed little noise and sank down in his seat. How had she figured that out and what could he possibly do to convince her that she was wrong? Or at least, convince her to not tell anyone, because the look on her face definitely confirmed that she knew, was convinced. The next moment, she pulled out newspaper articles, laying them out on the table in front of Dick. Local ones about Batman and Robin, but also other newspapers, like the Daily Planet, covering Superman, Wonder Woman and Aquaman. Heroes that had been on the rise for a couple months now.

"Batman is not a vigilante. He's a hero. We live at the dawn of heroes," whispered Barbara excitedly. "I want to be a cop. To stop bad guys. But there's bad guys out there that normal cops can't stop. Bad guys that only heroes can stop. I want in. I want to become a hero too."

Dick didn't know what to say, but someone else did. "Finally, another girl on the team. There's just too much testosterone in this house, isn't there?"

Selina stood in the doorway, smiling mischievously. When she entered the room, she was closely followed by a glowering, but not objecting, Bruce. Gotham was filled with crime, with trauma and grief, but there was also light in it. People, fighting for others, to protect. Dick was honored to be a part of this. He was grateful for this chance Bruce had given him. Batman had given him.

~*~ The End ~*~


Author's note: This was an interesting fic to write for me, because when it comes to DC, I'm not all that inclined toward Batman usually. Turns that's because things always bother me but when I get to like let him be in a happy relationship and be a good cousin, he is fun to work with. It helps that Bruce/Selina is one of my top five favorite DC ships, so that had me highly motivated for this fic!

We'll see Bruce next in this universe in the very next fic, when the Justice League is going to unite for the first time, so stay tuned ;D