Chapter 1
Jack walked Lisa to her car as she prepared to leave for Fairfield. Lisa had been quite busy with foaling season and Jack was missing her. She'd leave early and get home late and usually was exhausted from the day. After placing her bag in the backseat she turned to him. He put his arms around her waist and pulled her close.
"I love you, he kissed her, have a good day," he kissed her again.
She kissed him back. "Love you too." She got into her car and drove off.
Something wasn't right, he felt it in his bones. He knew she had been extremely busy, but she felt distant, and the sparkle in her eyes was gone. He would give it a few more days, but if things didn't improve by the weekend he would take her up to the fishing cabin. He would give her no other option but to relax for a day or two, hopefully that was all she needed.
Dinner came and went and Lisa still wasn't home. Jack decided to call her.
"Lise, what are you doing? You missed supper."
"I know, I'm sorry, I just… I can't leave right now. I'm going to stay here tonight. I'll talk to you later."
The next day while Jack was on a supply run to Maggie's, Lisa went to Heartland. She noticed Jack was gone so she went into the bedroom to grab what she needed and was just about to leave when she ran into Amy.
"Hey Lisa, I feel like I haven't seen you in days, and we live under the same roof. How's everything over at Fairfield?"
Lisa felt like a deer in headlights, she was hoping to get in and get out. "Very busy, gotta run, talk to you later."
Amy was surprised, nothing about their conversation would make you think these two people weren't strangers. Lisa was cold with her, that wasn't like her at all.
Amy kept an eye out for Jack, she wanted to mention her run in with Lisa to him. When he returned home she met him at the truck. She helped him unload the supplies and as she was doing so, mentioned that Lisa had been by.
"Really, she didn't tell me she was coming by, I would have waited for her, and then gone to Maggie's. We've been like two ships passing in the night lately."
"Grandpa, did you two have a fight or something? Lisa was very cold with me, almost like I was bothering her."
"No, nothing like that. I think she's just busy. Things will be back to normal soon, I hope." Jack said the last part under his breath. He really had no idea what was going on with her.
Jack went to get washed up to make some lunch. When he went into the bathroom he noticed some of Lisa's things missing. He went to their bedroom, she had taken some of her clothes too. What is going on that she isn't telling him? He couldn't think of anything that would make her act this way, they hadn't had any arguments or anything. He figured she must be stressed about how busy work was. When she got stressed the walls would still sometimes go up and she wouldn't talk. She was an island. Years of Dan, had done this to her. She could only count on herself at that time, that's what she had grown used to, even though she and Jack had been together more than 15 years now.
Jack decided to drive over to Fairfield, it was a busy place. Her staff were all busy tending to the horses or cleaning out stalls. Jack found Lisa in her office.
"Hey Lise."
She didn't need to look up, she knew the voice, she kept her head down.
"What's going on? I saw you took some stuff from the house."
Not looking up from the file on her desk she answered. "I'm just super busy, I can get more done if I stay here."
"You sure that's it, nothing else going on, you know I'm here for you."
"Yes, just busy. She got up, gave him a quick peck, gotta run, bye now."
Jack just sat there in her office trying to figure out what just happened.
Jack was getting ready for bed, he hadn't heard from Lisa so he figured he would give her a call to say goodnight. He got her voicemail, so he decided to send her a text.
"Hey Lise, I miss you, I love you. Talk soon. Love Jack." The last few days were starting to take their toll on him. He needed her, needed their conversations, needed to see her smiling face. He fell asleep with his hand resting on her spot in the bed.
The next day started like any other over the past week. Jack missed Lisa, they barely talked these days. He grew more and more grumpy by the day. Tim was constantly riding him about what he could have done to make her leave. He kept telling everyone that she was just busy, but even he didn't believe that himself anymore.
Lou was in the kitchen making dinner when there was a knock at the door. She answered it.
"Good afternoon ma'am, I'm looking for Jack Bartlett."
Jack entered the kitchen after hearing his name.
"I'm Jack Bartlett."
The young man handed Jack a thick envelope, "Jack Bartlett, you've been served." He turned around and left.
"You've been served, what's that about grandpa?"
Jack quickly opened the envelope, "divorce papers, Lisa filed for divorce." His heart nearly fell out of his chest. Jack was furious and hurt. How could she do this, she wouldn't even talk to him. He had no idea what was going on, but he was going to find out.
"I won't be here for dinner Lou." He stormed out the door. He was going to Fairfield, if she wanted him to sign divorce papers, he damn well deserved a reason first.
He pulled up at Fairfield and went to her office. He stood outside the door, he needed to calm down before he went in. Something was going on, he needed to get to the bottom of, but he needed to keep his head about him. He took a deep breath and opened the door, but she wasn't in there. He walked in the direction of the house. He rang the bell, she didn't answer. Who was he kidding, of course she didn't answer. He used his key, but it wouldn't open. She had put the chain across. He half thought about breaking it, he wanted answers.
"Lisa, I know you're in there, I know you can hear me. I deserve a reason." He pulled the door shut with a bang. What did he do to deserve this? He stormed past Harry on his way back to his truck.
"Don't give up Jack."
"What?" He wasn't sure if he heard him right.
"Lisa, don't give up on her."
"Do you know what's going on Harry, because I'm at a complete loss."
"It's not my place to say Jack, this is between Lisa and you."
Jack returned to Heartland with no more answers than before he left. What did Harry mean? Don't give up on Lisa. It was like a puzzle he had to figure out, to get the prize, his own wife.
Of course, Lou and Amy were sitting in the kitchen waiting for answers. Unfortunately he didn't have any. He had absolutely no idea why Lisa wanted a divorce.
"I don't have any answers." He told them on his way to his bedroom.
He sat on his bed looking around the room, taking in all of Lisa's things that had accumulated over the years. Her book on her bedside table, her perfume bottle on the dresser, her picture of them from their time in France. He loved her and she loved him. That just didn't change overnight, she didn't just stop loving him, she couldn't have.
Harry sat across from Lisa.
"You know what you're doing isn't right. He loves you Lisa."
"What choice do I have, we've gone over this Harry."
"Lisa, he deserves the truth, let him choose."
"I've made my decision. Now you promised you wouldn't say anything."
"I'll keep my word, but I'm asking you to do the right thing here."
"Harry, this is the right thing, I promise."
Jack couldn't sleep, he felt like his heart was being ripped out of his chest. To say he missed Lisa, well, missed wasn't a strong enough word. She was his world. She was definitely his better half. The fact that he hadn't been able to talk to her made everything ten times worse. He didn't understand any of this. He walked into the kitchen to get a cup of coffee. Lou and Amy were sitting at the table.
Lou could see the sadness on his face. "Amy and I are going to go over and see if we can talk to Lisa. This doesn't make any sense grandpa, I can't imagine what you are going through. Hopefully Lisa will open up to us."
"I don't think it will help, but I appreciate you girls trying." Jack went out to the barn, a trail ride would help clear his mind.
Amy and Lou pulled up at Fairfield in Amy's truck. They walked down to Lisa's office. They could hear her on the phone, they were happy they caught her, now hopefully she would have a minute to give them.
Lou knocked on her door.
"Come in," she called before looking up. "Ah, yes, I figured you guys would be by." Lisa leaned back at her desk.
"What's going on Lisa? We don't understand any of this. Grandpa is going crazy." Amy explained.
At the mention of Jack's name, Lou thought she saw Lisa's eyes tear up.
Lisa took a deep breath. "I'm sorry girls, I never meant to hurt any of you, especially Jack, but I belong in France. I can't keep doing this to myself, France is where my heart is."
"But what about grandpa, you love him too?"
"He won't go with me, and France is where I want to be, need to be. You know I always planned to retire there."
Lou just sat there shaking her head, "I really can't believe you. I don't know what to say."
"When do you leave," Amy asked.
"Next week."
Lou was angry, "are you even going to say goodbye, what about Katie and Lyndy, what about grandpa? You know what, don't answer that. Have a nice life Lisa." And with that Lou grabbed Amy and they left Lisa's office.
"I'm sorry girls, I really am." Lisa fought back tears.
It had been a few weeks since Lisa left for France. Jack still hasn't talked to her, or signed the divorce papers. She has texted him numerous times about signing and sending them back, but he insists on returning them to her in person.
Jack ran into Harry in Maggie's.
"How are you holding up Jack?"
"Well, Harry, I'd be great if my wife didn't leave me and move to France. So I'm holding up great. Have a good day."
He was angry, naturally. What Lisa did to him or is putting him through, well Harry just can't believe it.
"Jack, wait." Harry calls after him.
"Harry, I'm sorry, it's not you I'm angry with."
"I know Jack, what Lisa is doing isn't right, I tried to talk her out of it."
"I appreciate it, I really do, but I guess she's made her mind up. France won, I lost!"
"She's not in France Jack."
Jack was shocked at this information. "What do you mean she's not in France, she told the girls she was going a few weeks ago."
"Oh, she wanted to go, but she can't go."
"What do you mean she can't go?"
"She needs to stay here, stay local. Look Jack, I can't say anymore. But I meant what I said, don't give up on her."
"Why shouldn't I, she doesn't want to be married anymore, she's made that crystal clear, the divorce papers made it clear."
"Jack, if you took another good look, that crystal isn't as clear as you think." Harry said too much already, so he said his goodbyes.
"Harry, wait, where is Lisa, is she at Fairfield?"
"She is."
"But she won't see me."
"Come to the house at noon tomorrow, the door will be open."
"Thank you."
Jack didn't know how to process all of this information. She told them she was going to France, but she didn't go, couldn't go. Why couldn't she go? And if she couldn't go, why didn't she come home?
Jack didn't say anything to the girls about where he was going. He didn't understand any of this, and there was no way he would be able to explain it to them.
He pulled into Fairfield at five before noon. He walked up to the house and tried the door. It was unlocked, just like Harry said it would. Jack called Lisa's name. She didn't respond. Harry came out of her home office with some files in his hand.
"She's upstairs, she's up there this time every day."
Jack didn't understand, why was Lisa home everyday at noon, she wasn't in the kitchen having lunch. What is going on, he wanted to scream.
Jack found Lisa asleep in the master bedroom. A large glass of water and a variety of pill bottles on the bedside table. He turned around to walk out of the room and found Harry standing in the hallway.
"How long has she known?"
"Two and a half months. Come downstairs, I'll explain everything."
Harry filled Jack in about everything Lisa was going through. He knew it wasn't his place, but Jack deserved to know and Lisa needed him.
"Will she survive?"
"As far as I know, she's doing everything the doctors suggested. She wants to live Jack. She wants you, she needs you. She pushed you away because of what happened to your first wife. She doesn't want you to go through it again."
"What kind?"
"Cervical, IB2 I believe was the diagnosis. She's already had surgery and is currently going through chemo. She's had a rough time Jack, she's been alone through all of it. She's losing weight because she's nauseous all the time so she doesn't eat, she's tired. There are nurses here three times a day to help her."
A single tear rolled down Jack's cheek. "She's been going through this all alone," more of a statement than a question.
"Thank you Harry, for everything."
Jack returned to Lisa's room. He wanted to take her in his arms, wanted to take away her pain. He sat in the chair by her bed and watched her sleep. The cancer had changed her. She had dark circles under her eyes, you could see she lost weight in her face, but she was still the most beautiful woman to him. He should have been there for her, if only he had known. They would have fought together, they will fight together. He sat there still watching her, he couldn't believe she went through all of this alone. She was the most selfless person, she wanted to protect him, when he should have been protecting her.
She started to stir, she sensed his presence, always could. She sat up in bed and their eyes met. His eyes filled with tears. He had been so angry with her for leaving and going to France, but she had been here the whole time, needing him.
He sat on the bed and took her in his arms. She quietly cried on his shoulder. He pulled away and took her face in his hands so she would look at him. He kissed her lips, it felt so good. He rested his forehead on hers, his arms wrapped around her. He didn't want to move, he wanted to stay like that, wanted to protect her, she always felt safe in his arms.
"I'm sorry I wasn't here for you. I should have been with you."
"Oh Jack, how I've missed you."
They sat wrapped in each other's arms
"I love you Lisa, I've missed you so much. Please let me be here for you. We can do this together. Let me help you."
"Jack. I'm scared!"
"I know, I'm scared too. But you're not alone. I'm here. I'll always be here."
She leaned up and kissed him. All of the emotions surging between them.
"I need you Jack, I've always needed you."
He needed her too. She felt so good in his arms, it had been too long, for both of them. They spent the rest of the afternoon tangled in the sheets. His touch felt so good to her. It was so soft and sensual, it was pure pleasure, she wasn't being poked and prodded. For one afternoon she was just a woman who was having her most private needs met by the only man who could meet them.
Lisa got up to go into the bathroom. Jack got a full glimpse of just what the cancer had done to her body. She had always been thin, but he couldn't believe how frail she looked. She started to get sick so she closed the door. Jack opened the door, he knelt down next to her. He held her hair and rubbed her back softly.
"I'm here now, we are in this together."
She got up to brush her teeth, stumbling a little as she went. Jack grabbed her arm to steady her.
"Thank you. I think our little romp took all of my energy."
He was helping her back to the bed, but she collapsed in his arm's sobbing. The relief of him being there, loving her and caring for her washing over her. Going through the last few months without him was excruciating. The pain of surgery and the chemo was nothing compared to the pain in her heart. She thought she was doing what was best for him, even though it almost killed her. She would be stronger to fight with him by her side.
