Resonate

Emptiness.

That's the only thing Yuuko has felt for as long as she can remember.

A hollow feeling inside her that prevented her from enjoying anything. A heavy pressure in her chest that suffocated her, and made her constantly envy the kids around her always laughing and running around happily.

How could they be like that? How could they be so lively?

How could they feel... alive?

She asked herself those questions over and over again trying to find an answer to them, something that could tell her what made her different from them.

Was there something wrong with her?

She asked herself, her chest tightening as she watched them running around, before her mother took her back home.

One day, she understood everything. She got her desired answer to all those questions.

It was on the day of her eighth birthday when her mother sat next to her on the couch with a calm smile gracing her features as she took one of her hands in hers, squeezing it.

- Sweetie, I think is time we talk about something important.

The calm smile on her mother's face helped to dispel Yuuko's worries and nerves as she nodded and listened to her mom attentively, squeezing her hand back to encourage her to continue with the important talk.

- Have you ever felt... empty? Like something was missing inside you and you didn't know what it is, but that it doesn't let you enjoy even the simplest things?

Her mother asked her and little Yuuko couldn't help but gasp audibly and nod her head fervently, eliciting a giggle from her mother.

Was she maybe psychic? Did she feel it too?

The wheels in Yuuko's head started to turn at full speed, only calming down with the soft and warm touch of her mother's hand rubbing circles over hers.

- That's because there's indeed something missing in you.

Even though her mother's smile was kind and calm, there was a trace of sadness on it aside of a gloomy glint in her eyes that made little Yuuko feel a bit uneasy.

Her mother then took one of her small hands to place it over her chest.

- Can you feel it? – she asked her softly, and Yuuko could only close her eyes to concentrate on the soft beating against her hand.

It was steady and... lively.

Yuuko opened her eyes in shock, staring at her mother widely.

- This is my heart, it's beating and resonating in my chest – she explained to her slowly, seeing the tears beginning to flood Yuuko's eyes.

She had never felt anything like that before, any kind of beating against her chest…

- Does… does this means I don't have a heart?

Little Yuuko asked sorrowfully, more tears running now down her precious face before her mother caught them with her thumbs and wiped them away.

- No sweetie. You do have a heart, it's just that isn't beating as it should yet.

Her mother told her kindly, caressing her cheeks before she pulled her into a tight hug, letting her daughter listen to the loud beating of her heart calming her down like a lullaby.

- Why? – Yuuko asked her with broken voice.

- Because you still haven't met your soulmate.

- My soulmate?

- Yes sweetie, your soulmate. Each person has a soulmate, a partner for life. Once they meet, their hearts will resonate and beat together. Just like your dad and I did, your soulmate and you will too.

- Y-you mean that when I meet my soulmate, my heart will beat as lively as yours and I won't feel this emptiness anymore? – she asked her innocently, gazing at her mother with a hopeful glint in her eyes.

- That's right, sweetie.

She heard her mother answering her with a reassuring smile on her face.

- You will find a soulmate that will make your heart beat and resonate loudly.

With that premise and with the sound of her mother's lovely heartbeat, Yuuko couldn't help but feel better, less hollow and hopeful to find her own soulmate one day.

But as years passed, the feeling that slowly subdued until staying as a persistent and ugly feeling of emptiness settled in her chest, worsened again at the fact of not being able to find her soulmate in school, neither in middle school, making the pressure in her chest suffocate her.

One day, as she was walking through the school hallways on her way out to go back home, she heard a beautiful sound coming from somewhere around the school. And even though it didn't make her heart resonate, it certainly made it flutter.

She soon found her feet carrying her through the school hallways until she stopped outside the door of the music room, finding a blue haired girl and a raven haired girl sat inside playing a beautiful melody together.

Yuuko felt the fluttering once again, her heart feeling happy at the sound, and for the first time, she felt somehow lively standing outside the doorstep as she listened to them captivated.

- Hi!

The raven haired girl greeted her cheerfully as the piece they were playing came to an end.

Yuuko jumped slightly startled, noticing the other girl in the room fidgeting nervously.

- Oh, hello. I'm sorry, I didn't meat to intrude, I was just… curious about such a beautiful sound – Yuuko said embarrassed at had been caught, seeing the raven haired girl smiling widely.

- You've liked it!? Mizore and I are practicing for the band!

Yuuko couldn't help but smile, infected by her good mood, nodding at her timidly.

- It was lovely – she said softly, seeing the smile on the raven haired girl widening while the blue haired girl next to her simply blushed slightly.

- Do you want to join the band too? – the raven haired girl asked her suddenly, catching her off guard, before the blue haired girl next to her tugged at her shirt – Oh, sorry hehe I'm Nozomi.

The raven haired girl laughed, scratching the back of her head with a wide and friendly smile on her face, and Yuuko felt for the first time the impulse of wanting to join the band, of wanting to feel once again that fleeting and fluttering feeling in her chest.

Joining the band ended up being the best decision she had ever made. Not only she gained two good friends, learning they were soulmates and found one another through the music, but she also felt more alive than she ever did thanks to music.

She only hoped music could also help her to find her soulmate the same way it helped her friends.

It wasn't until she entered high school that she found her soulmate.

As she, Mizore and Nozomi get in the school's band, she can't help but feel captivated by the way one of her seniors plays the trumpet.

Yuuko instantly feels her heart fluttering upon hearing her playing, infatuated by her looks and her kind and sweet personality, always willing to help her and to be close to her. But sadly for her, it's just a feeling of infatuation and admiration to her senpai, finding soon that her beloved Kaori-senpai isn't her soulmate.

One day, as she's leaving the school grounds to go back home, she feels a timid beat resonating in her chest. She stops dead in her tracks shocked, scared, looking everywhere around her before she feels it once again.

She scans her surroundings frantically, trying to locate her soulmate, trying to locate her senpai, but there are so many students around that she can't find who her soulmate can be or if it really can be her senpai.

She tries to pay close attention to the resonating, but as soon as the feeble beating comes, it goes away, and Yuuko can't help but sigh heavily and dejectedly before continuing her way back home.

It isn't until a week later when Yuuko feels it again, feeling the beating resonating harder against her chest this time with every step she takes towards the music room.

As soon as she enters the music room, she finds the band gained several new members thanks to Nozomi.

Yuuko doesn't know who can be her soulmate in between all that people, but she's completely sure that between those boys and girls is her soulmate, much to her dismay.

As she crosses paths with an auburn girl with amethyst eyes, she feels her heart about to leap out of her chest, and she can't help but gasp, quickly covering her mouth with her hand as she watches her leaving the music room with the bass section.

It can't be her, can be? It has to be the nice girl next to her or maybe even the tall boy, but not her, anybody but her...

It's not like she has anything against the auburn girl, she doesn't even know her or her name, but there's something about her that makes her want to deny and reject the fact that she could potentially be her soulmate.

It isn't until she's practicing by herself at the trumpet section's classroom next day when she confirms it.

- You've felt it too, haven't you?

A deep voice asks behind her, startling her.

- What? – Yuuko asks out loud, turning around to find the auburn girl with amethyst eyes leaning against the doorframe with her arms crossed over her chest and a smug smirk on her face.

- The heartbeat, the resonating – the other girl simply answers her.

- No, I didn't – Yuuko can't help but reply to her, denying she felt anything when they crossed paths.

It can't be her, please anybody but Natsuki.

She repeats to herself, not liking her smug attitude.

Natsuki isn't at all like Kaori-senpai. She isn't as kind, sweet, caring or attentive as her beloved senpai is, and that's precisely what makes feel wrong to have her as her soulmate, and yet, she can't deny the hard and fast beating of her heart resonating against her chest as Natsuki takes a step closer.

- Are you sure?

Natsuki asks her as she keeps walking closer, standing in front of her, and Yuuko can't deny it any longer: Natsuki is her soulmate.

Tears start to roll down her face upon the realization, before Natsuki tries to wipe them away with a look of pure concern adorning her face. But as soon as her hand touches the blonde's cheek, Yuuko slaps it away.

- I don't care if you're my soulmate, I don't like you! I don't want you! – she spats at her angrily, crying harder all while she sees Natsuki's face falling briefly before she clicks her tongue.

- I see – she whispers before she exhales deeply – Then it'll be the best if we ignore each other until the resonating ceases.

- What do you mean? – Yuuko can't help but ask surprised at her words.

Natsuki steps tentatively closer to cover Yuuko's ears so she stops hearing the resonating of her own heart for a moment.

- If we ignore one another, and you ignore the resonate of your own heartbeat whenever we're close, it'll eventually fade until you no longer hear it or feel it. Maybe that way you'll be able to be with your beloved Kaori-senpai.

Oh.

It's the only thing Yuuko can think of, before she feels more optimistic about the whole soulmate situation.

She can easily do that, she can easily ignore Natsuki and the way her heart resonates until she doesn't feel anything but indifference for her, until the resonating stops.

- That will be easy then – she tells her as smugly as she can before she places her trumpet carefully back into its case and leaves the classroom.

She can easily ignore it, she can easily ignore Natsuki and change of soulmate.

That's what she tells herself as she gets out of the classroom, ignoring the sad glint in Natsuki's eyes and the pain clenching her chest, threatening to break her heart in two.

I can do it.

She tells herself as she leaves Natsuki behind with her heart shattered.

But Yuuko soon finds out that it isn't as easer as she thought it'd be to ignore it, especially when several members of the band, including Nozomi, leave.

She witnesses first-hand how Mizore's heart gets broken, before she decides to stomp off and confront the only person that can give her an explanation about it: Natsuki.

- Why has Nozomi left the band? – she asks her angrily, causing Natsuki to blink before she shrugs her shoulders.

- Because she felt responsible for it. She brought them to the band, so she thought it was the best.

- Then why didn't you leave too? – Yuuko spats out, angry at the fact that Nozomi left, breaking Mizore's heart but Natsuki didn't.

- Do you want me to leave? – Natsuki asks her softly, tentative, and Yuuko feels that simple question as a stab right in her chest.

- I don't care what you do.

She mumbles, before turning around to leave the place at fast pace, feeling her chest clenching as she begins to breathe raggedly at the sudden pain of thinking about Natsuki leaving the band.

She tells herself she couldn't care less about it and about what the auburn girl decides to do, but the truth is that she can't stop crying due to the hollow and painful feeling inside her once she finds out that Natsuki also left the band and became a stranger to her once again.

Yuuko can't help but feel empty one more time.

She thinks that getting closer to Kaori will help her to overcome the hollowness inside her and the permanent pain in her chest, but not even the feeble fluttering of being with her and hear her playing the trumpet can alleviate it.

Once the second year starts and new members join the band, Yuuko feels her heart a bit more at ease, especially with the return of a certain auburn girl to it.

- You came back – she tells Natsuki softly one day, seeing her looking at their best friends crying happily and hugging tightly each other upon being together again.

- Nozomi couldn't stay away from Mizore. It was really hurting her... – Natsuki simply says, not bothering to look at Yuuko.

- And you? – Yuuko asks Natsuki out of curiosity, feeling a bit hopeful that she may have also returned to the band because of her.

- Does it even matter?

Natsuki answers sharply, looking at her with indifference before she leaves, and Yuuko can't help but feel as if she was dying right there in that moment, her heart shattering painfully at Natsuki's words and indifference.

She shallows her tears and runs back home where she can finally cry in the comfort of her bedroom.

- I'm such an idiot.

She tells herself, mind set on trying to ignore the auburn girl the best she can once again in spite of the pain that it brings with it.

Yuuko finds herself doing the impossible to fall for Kaori, forcing her feelings for her, but she can't shake the empty feeling inside her nor the pain she feels as she does it. She can't stop thinking about Natsuki either.

One day, as they're practicing, Kaori accidentally touches her hand and Yuuko, far from feeling her heart fluttering or resonating at it, only feels a hard stab and unbearable pain in her chest, almost taking her breath away in a bad way.

She puts the best smile she can muster and excuses herself to leave the practice room, running down the hallways before she bumps into somebody's back.

She feels her heart resonating hard in her chest and finds herself clutching tightly the uniform of the person she bumped into, burying her head in between their shoulder blades, before she starts to cry hard.

She hears a heavy sigh being exhaled, before the person takes her hands away and turns around to wrap her tightly in their embrace and in their familiar lavender scent.

Yuuko can't help but bury her head into Natsuki's chest, hearing her strong heartbeat calming her down, before Natsuki guides and obliges them to enter a nearby classroom, locking the door behind them as she hugs her tightly once again.

- I'm so sorry – Yuuko cries against the auburn girl's chest, clutching her uniform as if her life depended on it.

- It's okay – Natsuki exhales, stroking her back up and down to help her calm down.

- It isn't. I'm really sorry Natsuki, I just…

She trails off crying harder, before she feels Natsuki kissing her head, making her heart leap at such a simple gesture.

- I get it Yuuko, you really like Kaori-senpai so you don't want me as your soulmate and that's okay. You can't force somebody to have feelings for another even if they're their soulmate.

Natsuki says calmly, combing the blonde's hair and Yuuko has never felt so calm, so alive, so… right in her whole life.

- But it is wrong. Kaori-senpai doesn't make my heart leap. She doesn't make me happy nor calms me down. She just… she just makes me feel even emptier and in pain that I already feel, but you on the other hand…

Yuuko trails off once again, gazing at Natsuki with tears still running down her face, letting Natsuki wipe them away, before she strokes her cheeks and gives her a calm and reassuring smile.

How can she do it when I hurt her so much?

- I'm so sorry Natsuki – Yuuko apologizes once again, before she feels Natsuki's thumb pressing against her lips to silence her.

- It's okay. I've also tried to ignore you and the resonating whenever we were close, but it was really hard to do it – Natsuki admits and Yuuko can't help but hug her really tight.

- I'm so sorry.

- Yuuko…

- Please just… please let us try again – Yuuko asks her bravely, looking into Natsuki's eyes before she sees her smiling at her softly.

- I'd really like that Yuuko – Natsuki says softly, their hearts leaping happily before Yuuko hugs her tightly again, not wanting to let her go again, not wanting to let this lovely feeling go away again.

- Forgive me for all the pain I've made you go through – she says sorrowfully against Natsuki's chest before she notices her sighing and grabbing her jaw gently to oblige her to look at her.

- It's really okay, Yuuko.

Yuuko can't help but get lost in her intense and mesmerizing amethyst eyes looking at her with nothing but tenderness in them, in Natsuki's kindness, before she leans in to capture her lips in a clumsy kiss, feeling Natsuki deepening it as their hearts resonate loudly and in unison in their chests, happy and alive…

They pull away with a soft smile on their faces, before Yuuko smiles even widely through her tears and takes Natsuki by the hand to drag her out of the classroom, ready to make it up to her for all the pain she made her go through due to her stubbornness, their laughs resonating across the empty hallways as loud as their hearts do.