Keeping Sasha in one place for more than an hour was something difficult back on earth.
Anne already knew that trait of her friend.
Keeping Sasha in one place for more a one minute was something almost impossible now.
So had discovered Anne recently...
"Sash! Your wounds aren't healed yet, you need to rest!"
Sasha was in the middle of putting on her armor when Anne had appeared amid the medical quarters.
Anne had decided that now that Sasha was ordered to rest due to her wounds, she could use the chance to have Sasha listen to her. Sadly, it was evident that the commander didn't have any intentions of following the medics' instructions, as her "escape attempt" made clear.
Luckily for Anne (and for Sasha´s wellbeing), the cave that served as the medical ward had only one entrance, so Sasha would have to pass Anne to escape.
"The frogs told me that that kind of injuries took at least 2 days to heal properly Sash, please get back into the bed"
"These aren't anything Anne!"
That phrase would have made sense if it were not for the bandages covering her body, some of them starting to show a pink taint among them.
Regardless, Sasha wasn't planning on letting Anne convince her of acting otherwise, she had to get to work, for the rebellion! for everyone's sake!
Or at least that was what she had been telling herself…
"These frogs have been through much worse, I can't slack just because I got a little beaten up…"
That statement made Anne furious, she couldn't believe how reckless her friend was being.
"A little beaten up… A LITTLE BEATEN UP!? Have you looked at yourself?!"
Sasha remembered how angry Anne was at Newtopia's castle. Sasha had never seen her friend so disappointed... so mad.
This was a close second.
"Er… I mean, for example, you should have seen how Wally was after his first mission, he almost lost the other eye…"
Since Anne´s furious gaze didn't subdue in the slightest Sasha continued.
"Uhm…look, Anne ... I just can't show weakness right now, the resistance needs me!"
Crossing her arms in disgust Anne took a seat on the makeshift gurney.
It never had been easy to argue with Sasha, but right now she was being "extra stubborn"
"Yeah, you're right Sash, they need you… Alive! Not sick, not a bloody mess, not… this!"
Anne pointed with both her hands towards Sasha who looked like someone straight from a zombie movie, with one combat boot which had very poorly "hidden" knifes steaking out of it.
It resembled more like a survivor from an apocalyptic event than an injured teenager.
In a sense, it was both
"Ugh! A commander is a commander until he gives his last breath. I can't be here just… just losing my time… I could be doing…"
"Doing what dude? Another one of your "suicide missions!?"
Anne´s outburst took Sasha by surprise.
"Anne I… no, I… I'm sorry… But I need to plan more incursions… Look, we are in a war I can't let this be for nothing! Besides…"
"Besides what?"
"Besides… I'm not that hurt, yeah I have some bruises here and there, but I'm fine gurl! watch!"
The blonde tried to do one of the classics Saint James cheers.
She didn't account on one particular bruise in her stomach being still "sensitive" though.
A sudden stab of pain ran through her body, stopping the girl in her tracks.
"ahg!"
The Thai girl hurried to help her friend, but Sasha just pressed her stomach and Shook her head.
"No, I'm … is nothing"
Anne just looked at her partner with a sad gaze. It wasn't anger what dwelled in her eyes right now. It was something else.
After catching some Air Sasha softened up a little.
"Ok, I admit it. I'm not in my best shape, but these frogs need me, they need a morale boost Anne… their land has been tarnished beyond repair, they need a win.
"What morale could you boost if you die in a mission…" Said Anne somberly.
"A martyr is best than a living shit" mumbled Sasha.
Anne couldn't let her friend do any more harm to herself, so she decided that she needed to take a page from Sasha´s book and maybe be a little more persuasive, even if it meant being manipulative, she could not allow Sasha to destroy herself any longer.
"Sash… I get it… you feel a sense of duty with these guys, and you think… no, you know that they need a leader, but…"
Anne firmly grabbed the hand of her friend and looked directly towards the blue light of her eyes.
"But I need you safe … that doesn't count? Don't I get a say in all of this? After all, we are partners, right?"
A slight blush appeared on the blonde face
"I… well…"
"Come on Sash, yeah, the rebellion needs you, but they also need to see the strong Sasha, not the… whatever you are right now, I mean, not to repeat myself but, have you looked at yourself recently?"
Anne got up and started walking like a zombie, limping across the room and making gurgling sounds.
To anyone else, it may seem cruel or insensitive. But to Sasha it was kind of funny and enduring.
As for Anne. Even if it was for a small second, she wanted to bring some of the old Sasha back.
"Pfff! dork… ok, ok … you win Boonchoy… I think I can tone it down a notch… But just for today ok?"
"Ok… But now that you have fallen into my trap, what do you say we have a good old sleepover uh?"
The smile on Sasha's face disappeared almost instantly.
"Anne I agreed to rest, not to lose the time, I still could plan strikes or something, coordinate the…"
Anne pinched Sasha to the dirt wall making it crumble a little bit.
"You! Me! Sleepover! END OF DISCUSSION!"
Sasha wanted to rebut her friend's idea, but Anne´s gaze was too scary to say no.
"Whatever you say… partner"
Anne wasn't all happy with the answer but for now it would have to work.
"Now get that boot off you dork, we don't need another one shoe lady in here"
Anne had really made an extra effort to make this night amazing.
First, she secured a nice place to do the sleepover. Something big, something safe and comfy. The cave that was assigned to Anne and the Plantars wasn't big enough to give her and Sasha the privacy they needed, so Anne had resorted to Sasha´s room.
She had also made sure that nobody would interrupt them. She had managed that by asking Grimes to be in charge of everything. He was more than happy to help her ex lieutenant, especially after the conversation between him and Anne.
The hardest part was convincing the medical personnel to let Sasha out. But since Anne assured them that she would make sure that the girl had at least one night of rest they decided to comply. Although Anne had the feeling that they accepted because they knew that they couldn't contain Sasha anymore.
All that was left is gather some "essential" material for the night, so Anne was in her "room" (more like a personal hole) collecting whatever she could use to make the perfect sleepover.
"Now all I need is something resembling nail paint and some of the snacks I bring from home and we should be all set… Mhhh I could also bring this…"
"Oh, you are doing something tonight Anne?" Hop-Pop asked, surprising Anne
"Hop-Pop!? Jesus man, you scared me"
The girl still wondered how such an old frog could be so sneaky.
"Sorry, hehe, but I did announce my presence, you didn't hear me?"
"Not at all, sorry. It just I have a lot on my mind right now"
Anne wasn't sure if the old frog had really said anything at all , but right now her mind was definitely elsewhere.
"it's about your friend?"
"Yeah… I'm kinda worried about her… but I'm going to give it all to make her happy, we are partners after all"
"Oh… partners…hehehe…"
A malicious look that was all too familiar to Anne set on Hop Pop's face.
"So you mean you finally got a GIRLfriend Anne?"
Anne had to resist the impulse of kicking the old man
"I shouldn't have let you watch all of those doramas"
Before the situation could get more awkward Spring and Polly appeared right behind HP
"hey Anne wha… wow are you running away or something?" Polly pointed at the huge pile of stuff that Anne had piled
"No! Anne! don leave us!" screamed Sprig
"I'm not…"
"it's cause I eat all your chocolate in your home?"
"No, sprig I…"
"It's cause I used your hairdryer to build a flamethrower for Frobo?"
"You did what?!"
"Kids, kids! Anne aint leaving us…" Screamed Hop pop
"Yes, I am not leaving you sheesh… Thanks, HP"
"She is just preparing to meet her Girlfriend"
Anne kicked Hop Pop outside and started walking towards Sasha´s quarters. Luckly Sprig and Polly understood the situation and didn't pry.
That or they were scared of getting a kick from Anne.
The girl started walking towards Sasha´s room/cave. She still was a little lost in the rebellion quarters but she already had a few landmarks to help the navigation.
Walking a little from her cave it was "Stumpy´s". Anne considered grabbing something, but she considered that maybe Stumpy´s food was not of Sasha´s liking.
"maybe next time"
Continuing from the "restaurant" Anne walked among several other caves, some just housed frogs or toads , and others were a bit more interesting. Like Grub for example. Anne wondered how in the heck the frogs managed to bring the big chunk of log that served as a sing for the store, down to the cave system.
"probably Sasha helped them…"
The thought of a nicer Sasha warmed Anne´s hearth. Sasha always had leader material in her, but she usually used the higher position to dominate others, not help them. It was nice to see how her talents could be put into good use.
"I just wished that it wouldn't have needed the help of an extradimensional Apocalypse"
Almost halfway through her path Anne walked in front of the armory. Nothing out of the ordinary considering the circumstances. But the swords reminded Anne of where she was.
"Sasha was right… this is a war… this are weapons, not toys… this is something serious… but the more reason to help her I guess"
Even if the place was constructed to be a hiding place for the resistance Anne couldn't help but think how beautiful it was. The illumination, the holes in the rock making pretty shapes. It was a shame that war had to be the cause of all of this.
"Maybe some things will change for good if we win this… this place could be something to remember stronger bonds…"
Continuing with the only path available, Anne stood in front of a red door. This was it, Sasha´s place.
"ok, enough daydriming … let's do this"
The girl knocked on the door and waited. She was more nervous than she was willing to admit, but she didn't want Sasha to notice.
No, Sasha needed someone brave right now, someone strong and Anne would be that person.
"is that you Anne?"
Answered a voice from the other side of the door"
"Yeah, sorry , I'm a little early right?"
"Nah its all good"
Anne was so accustomed to see Sasha in her armor that she had forgotten that the girl could dress properly. When Anne came around to Sasha´s room , the blonde was wearing a 2 pieces pink pajamas that in Anne´s opinion looked just as good on her as a designer dress.
"Woah, you really get on board with the Sleepover thematic Sash"
"what do you mean?"
"your clothes, they look...normal"
"of course Anne, did you think I slept with my armor on?"
"…"
Anne felt a litle ashamed of herself.
Of course Sasha uses normal clothes she is not a beast
"Well I do have some knives inside my slippers tho"
"We have to talk about your knife obsession"
"What? I can leave them when I want to, now come in, you're gonna catch a cold"
Anne was wearing her usual t-shirt and short combo, even underground the girl still didn't felt so much cold.
"Hahaha, ok mom"
"I just dont want you getting sick"
"hey, I'm stronger than I look Sash, I can withstand a tiny bit of cold"
"you are so much stronger than you think" whispered Sasha, letting Anne enter the cave.
"Uhm… so what are we supposed to do?" Asked Sasha
"We could watch some movies? Er... I have some on my phone if you wanna watch anything"
"No... I'm not it the mood, sorry"
Anne had brought everything that would sure amount to tons of fun.
However, she had forgotten about the fact that Sasha was usually the more active member of their sleepovers, and that she was "not exactly her best mental or physical condition".
"Uhm no, its all good… what do you want to do then?"
Sasha was sitting on her bed with her legs crossed and her head down, she hadn't looked at Anne at all since they both took places on the bead.
"I… I don't know, Im sorry… I… I'm not in the best mood right now Anne"
"May I know why ?... Is it my fault?"
Sasha quickly raised her head and gave a desperate look at Anne.
"no, no! it's not your fault! …I… it is me, I… I don't feel like having fun"
Anne already had her worries about Sasha, certainly, the talk with Grimes didn't help to quell her worries.
What it had given thought was a new perspective to watch over the situation. Sometimes you can't make someone feel better and sometimes that wasn't bad.
Sasha didn't need a distraction. That was what she had been doing.
That was what was "killing her".
"We don't need to have fun"
"What?"
"we don't need to do what we usually do…. Look, I know what I said about dealing with our baggage latter but… Maybe I underestimated the weight that you and I carry… Wanna unpack some of it?
Sasha contemplated the invitation in silence, she was not ready to open, she had too much to unpack, too much to cry… she didn't want Anne to share her burden, especially since she felt that she owed more than she could ever pay to her friend.
"cause I sure could use some…" resumed Anne.
Anne wasn't sure if she was so eager to bent her problems right now… but maybe if she opened up, Sasha would too
"I'm not sure… I mean, I don't want to bother you, I… you need to rest too… maybe it will be better if we just go to sleep, you said I needed to rest remember?"
"Oh, so now you need to rest? Come on we could also catch up with stuff!"
Sasha was looking uneasy.
In her mind, she was debating between giving herself to Anne and to hold her emotions at bay.
"mhh…"
"ok what about this, I'll start and then if you don't wanna do it you can go to sleep"
"Still…"
"But, if you go to sleep your name will go directly into this"
Anne scratched in her backpack looking for something.
After a few seconds, she took a copybook and a pen out of her bag. The name "the book of losers 2.0" was written on the cover.
"ta-dah! Look I made a new one. Bet you don't want to be the first name in here, right?"
Sasha smiled dimly
"I can't believe you prepared this much"
"Girl… you don't even know"
"ok, creepy"
"It's not creepy. I was trying to be friendly!"
They both laughed for a moment.
Sasha would have liked that moment last forever. But then… some intrusive thoughts started appearing
"so… you still think of me as your friend?"
The question shook Anne a little. She wasn't sure of that herself. She wasn't sure if she had forgiven Sasha, or if she could call her, her friend.
"I… I don't know … I kinda said that our friendship was over right? "
"Yes, you did… Not that I blame you… I wouldn't like to be friends with myself right now"
"Sash…"
"No, no… it's okay … I get it. I was… I am a horrible person Anne, what I did… And I do not mean only what I did here in amphibia, but our whole life… it was not ok… Sorry"
"You are not a horrible person Sasha… at least not now"
Something about that sentence triggered Sasha.
"How can you say that? … you don't know if this is all an elaborate trick, I could be lying"
"no, you are not"
"Why do you trust me?"
Sasha was looking at Anne directly in her eyes now. With fire in her eyes
"cause I don't doubt my friends, silly"
Anne booped Sasha´s nose with her index finger, making the girl blush"
"So now I'm your friend?"
"Yeah, you seem like a nice gal, lets's be friends!"
"I… I Don't get it… are you playing with me? Is this revenge?"
"yeah… I don't get it either hahaha"
"its not funny… you are important to me…"
"It isn't a joke… I just thougt… yeah I was mad against Sasha … but that Sasha doesn't look or act like the Sasha that is in front of me right now"
"I am the same person… I am the same piece of garbage that betrayed you Anne… how can you be so naïve, so good…"
"I'm not as good as you think"
Now it was Anne´s turn to stare at the ground.
"uh?"
"You know Sash when I was back on earth… I have to admit… I tried not to think about bad stuff… you know … I didn't know if Marcy was alive… I didn't know if you had managed to escape either…"
Sasha looked at her friend as if it were an strange creature.
" I tried to concentrate in the moment, in my parents … in finding a way back here … but in the nights … when I was alone with my thoughts I… I imagined things "
"What kind of things?"
"you know… bad things… like… going back here and finding out you couldn't escape… that you were hurt… or worse… and I think that that made me wanna … I dunno…
"go on"
"What I mean is…even if don't want to admit it I took my sweet time coming back here… I was looking for a way back sure, but… I also were kinda scared? I don't know… it's like when you don't want to fall asleep cause the next day you have to do something that you don't want to… I think that I didn't wanted to know what had happened to you… I didn't want to be confronted with a horrible truth… And sometimes, maybe I thought about staying a little longer with my family"
Sasha just nodded.
"well… I don't blame you… I… I wouldn't have blamed you if you let me here to di…"
Anne quickly put her hand in Sasha's mouth, silencing her before she could continue.
"don't say that!... I wouldn't… in a million years want you to be dead Sash"
"…"
"yeah you were a bad friend… you were even horrible here in amphibia and you know what… nothing is going to change that"
Anne never let her hand from the blonde´s mouth. Sasha would listen to her to the end without rebuts.
"Nothing is going to change the past… so why do you think…"
Apparently Anne did have some emotions to unpack, cause tears began to fall into the bed, wetting the sheets.
"Why do you think that you… that if you get yourself killed I would feel better?!"
Those words cut deeper than any blade that Sasha had fought over her stay in amphibia.
"I don't want… I don't want to lose you Sasha!... I don't want to!"
It was only when she felt something warm run through her hand that the girl moved her palm away from her friend's mouth. Then the floodgates were open on both sides.
"I don't know what else to do!... I can't forgive Myself, Anne, I can't! You said it … I can't change what I did… and… and, I don't know if I can change what I am…"
"Getting yourself Killed won't change anything!"
Anne continued crying. But there was determination behind her emotions.
"I…"
"I want my friend back!"
And that finally cracked Sasha.
"I WANT THAT TOO ANNE! … I don't wanna die… I want to be at your side forever! I want to be your friend, I want to be a good friend I Want to be more than that even… I want to laugh with you… smile with you!... but I don't deserve it! I deserve to eat shit and die like the scum that I am! I'm the biggest piece of shit that has ever existed…"
Anne just remain silent contemplating Sasha that was crying uncontrollably, barely being able to speak properly
"A-And you… you are the pu-purest being ever so… so, why don't you hate me?!"
Sasha grabbed Anne by the collar of her uniform
"if you just hit me right now… if you hated me … it would be easier!"
Sasha broke down to her knees looking at Anne, begging to her
"Hate me… please… just hate me Anne…"
"It would be easier right?"
Anne gently took the hands of her beaten friend and squeezed in between hers.
Anne nodded quietly.
" yes, it would be easy… if I just said that I hate you, you could surrender… I get it… but you know what Sash?"
Sasha could only nod towards Anne. The girl didn't have any strength left in her soul, the only thing she could feel was her body tremble and her eyes burn.
"I don't hate you… I never did… I felt anger towards you, yes… bu,t I didn't hate you… maybe I'm dumb… but I couldn't bring myself to hate my friend… yes, you fuck it up Sash… but you are trying to get better… you didn't just came here to die… you tried … and I can see that you need help right now … and I'm here for you… I'm always going to be here for you"
Anne hugged Sasha very thigly, the girl stood there frozen, as if she weren't capable of processing what was happening.
But as the seconds passed, the warm embrace of her friend began to pour some life into the girl.
"y-you promise?"
"I promise…"
Sasha cried everything that was left inside of her. With every tear she felt a little less heavy. She felt that a lumb inside her chest was starting to disappear, not completely, but it was something.
After minutes in which Anne only holded her as thight as she could, her friend began to talk again.
"… I-I don't … I still feel like shit…but… you… "
Sasha couldn't get her words in order but an evident blush started to form in her cheeks
"sheesh you really suck at being emotional don't you Sash?"
"s-shut up… listen"
A tenue smile formed on Sasha´s face, she didn't let go of Anne´s embrace, and she didn't stop sobbing.
she didn't want to.
"I feel hope… through you… I don't know how to explain ,I just… "
Sasha wasn't strong enough to put in words her thoguts and emotions. Instead, she let her feelings talk for her.
"Please don't let me go… I'm afraid… I'm afraid that if I let go of this warm feeling I'm gonna fall into the cold abyss… please don't let me go Anne… please stay with me… "
"I'm not going anywhere, you can cry all you want silly goose"
"what does a goose have to do with anything"
"I don't know… people say that sometimes"
"people are dumb"
"…"
"Hey, Sash…"
"uh?"
"I think you are not better off without me"
"… you are so dumb Anne…"
Hours passed like minutes and Anne never let go of Sasha.
Eventually, they both fell asleep hugging each other.
