1
Becky only existed as a maid. And only in that room. It was my own palace, twisted by desires. I laid on my bed and watched her clean and yawn and clean and yawn. She complained about her feet hurting as she sat on the bed with me, laying on my leg, her hot hand on my thigh. She looked up at me, her eyes asking for a break. If it was anyone else I would have made her leave. The poor girl. She was tired. She worked all day. She deserved time off. But it was Becky. And Becky would cease to exist as soon as she left, which made it easy to bury her.
I motioned to my zipper and Becky obliged with a groan. It was a lazy handjob. She scrolled social media with her off-hand until her wrist got tired and she had to switch. When I got close she put her mouth around the head and swallowed with a slight gag. I reached for my wallet and she smiled. Becky always left with a smile.
When the door shut behind Becky and she disappeared from this world, I could think of Kawakami again. Her yellow sweater, big, bedroom eyes. Her annoyance. I couldn't picture her in Becky's place. No matter the dissonance. When I sat in that classroom tomorrow, I could only fantasize of having Kawakami bent over her desk. I knew what this bedroom was to Becky and I. Kawakami was a woman, not a toy. Even with reluctance, she would not be with one of her students.
Morgana slunk in from the open window. He spent these visits on the roof or in the gutter or in the alley. I didn't ask, but sometimes he came back damp. I imagined him sitting in the rain listening to Becky's hand going up and down, up and down.
"Ugh, why does it always take so long?" Morgana curled up on the head of the bed. "I'm so tired."
"You could sleep outside."
Morgana's tail whipped my forehead. "Shut up! I'm not some dirty animal. Besides, we have a long day tomorrow. You told everyone we'd go to momentos."
"Get some sleep," I said and patted him on the head.
2
Too many people crowded around me on the train. So many students in their summer uniforms. Ann crossed her legs and leaned on me to fit in the seat. She talked about an audition and the embarrassing camera assistant on set while I read a magazine. The best thing about Ann was spending time doing our own things. It was impossible with Ryuji. He demanded conversation, but except for very pointed questions, Ann was fine to talk while I just existed.
When we got off the train she tucked her arm around mine and we walked quietly towards campus. The heat made us sweat. The air was thick with last night's rain. Ann pulled away but grabbed at my hand, our fingers sliding through. There were groups of kids gathered out front. Nothing new.
"So…I know we have plans already for after school," Ann said. "But maybe lunch? I didn't have breakfast and if we're gonna be going through mementos all night I could use a burger or something."
"Hmm," I said. "Let me think about it."
"Okay, but you better not leave me hanging with Ryuji again. It's so awkward with him whenever it's not all three of us."
"I'll have lunch with you, Lady Ann." Morgana pushed his head from my bag and Ann let go of my hand to push the cat back down. "Ouch!"
"Keep down, Morgana. There's people everywhere."
"Sorry," he said.
"Well, if Joker's comes then you'll be there too, Morgana. So just pester him all day about it."
"Right away."
"Fuck you," I said, and pushed her. She laughed and pushed back. "I should give you this backpack for the day and see how you like smelling like cat."
"Hey! I do not smell like cat…do I?"
We both chuckled and Ann pulled herself against my chest. "Please think about lunch though." She kissed me once on the lips. Cherry taste. "For me?"
Inside the bag, Morgana licked his paws incessantly.
3
"We're going to be doing something a little different today." Kawakami stood at the front of class, her black-rimmed glasses hanging down her nose. I tried to picture her on her knees, a maid uniform wrapped tight around her frame, but nothing came from it. "We'll be going over work from last week and self-grading. No slacking off." She looked my way with that.
She spoke a bit more but I ignored it. Inside my bag were a few tools from home and I spent the free period making lockpicks for mementos. Kawakami circled the class answering questions, scolding a few bad eggs, and helping where she was needed. When she came by my desk she dropped a folded piece of paper.
"I don't work tonight," it said and she walked to the next desk.
"Ms. Kawakami," I said, my voice almost cracking. She looked back at me with a blush, taken off guard. "I have a question."
"Yes?" She stepped back to me and bent over my desk to whisper. "I told you I can't talk about this at school." Her voice was a hard cut.
"I'm going to be busy after school," I said, motioning to the tools on my desk.
"So?"
"So…I'll need to call after."
"Well that's too bad, I'm not on the schedule for tonight."
"If you're not able to come, I'm going to be exhausted tomorrow. I'll miss school."
"Come on." She rolled her eyes.
"Seriously," I said. "I don't mind paying whenever you're working, but there are some nights I need you. Otherwise I'm useless."
She stopped and thought for a moment. Another student called her name and she stood, turning away from me. Becky would have said "yes, master" in an instant. The gap between her and Kawakami was nearly unbridgeable.
I grabbed her wrist tight and for a moment, in that classroom, Becky turned to look at me. Her eyes were tired, but she understood the look on my face, and nodded. "That's right, Ayanami. I was wrong on that one. Go ahead and mark it correct." I let go and Kawakami walked away to answer the other student.
4.
Ann kissed my neck. We were on the roof. When she left the mark she wanted, she pulled back to look at me. Her white shirt was off and thrown over my bag, which we stuck in the corner. I imagined Morgana trying his hardest to see through the back at Ann's chest. I groped her and she moaned. She wasn't always in the mood, but nothing mattered when she was. At least once every two months she'd get closer and closer to me until she couldn't make it any more clear.
"What if we did it in mementos?" She shined her devilish smile. The thought aroused me and she took advantage, running her hand on my leg. "Me in my red leather."
"What about Ryuji and Morgana?"
"We could just not tell Ryuji, and Morgana…well we need a car to do it in."
"That's so bad," I said, and kissed her.
"I brought a condom," she said and pulled it from her back pocket. "It was kind of embarrassing buying it, but…"
"Put it on," I said. Our cheeks were flushed red. She unzipped my jeans and we spent the next eight minutes being stupid and inexperienced. We laughed. It was always fun with Ann. Spontaneous, during lunch, and fun.
5.
Momentos was a killer. We got out long after the sun went down and long after Sojiro closed up shop and went out to do his thing. I phoned Becky and Kawakami picked up. Her voice was straight from the classroom and full of cranky energy. I felt like my homework was late or I had fallen asleep in class again.
"My body," I said. I was breathing hard. I could feel bruises on my back and chest already welting. "I…I just hurt. Please."
I heard the static bleed in from her line.
"I'll be right there, master." That was the first time Kawakami had ever called me master.
