Rule of No Extreme

Eva McGregor

Harry Potter

Severus, Harry

Summary: a moment in time, Harry is a lot more mundane (and weirder) than he seems. Severus is about to find out. One-Shot

Thanks to the wonderful HPFanfictioner66 for beta. Thanks bunches HP!

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Surrey was abnormally hot at this time of year when summer was dipping off to fall. The ones who could afford it, stayed inside for the majority of the day, sitting in front of a fan with a glass of iced tea in their hand. Others scurried around in as little clothing as they could get away with while children played in sprinklers or swimming pools.

But no one in their right mind went outside at the hottest time of the day to do anything that required movement.

Yet Number Four Privet Drive was never known for its normalcy. When everyone else was wisely inside away from the heat there was always a shirtless young man kneeling in the garden pulling weeds. His lightning bolt scar was hidden by a bandana that captured most of the sweat that threatened to spill into his eyes. His upper body was toned from months of Quidditch and summers of gardening. Anyone who looked upon him from their windows naturally assumed he had been punished to be out in the heat all day, but this wasn't the case.

Harry Potter liked gardening.

It was quiet and peaceful. He could softly recite Potions ingredients and Latin pronunciation undisturbed for hours. He kept his body fit for Quidditch for the school year and did something productive because obviously, the gardener his aunt paid wasn't doing his job.

"Harry dear, come inside. It's too hot to do that." Petunia Dursley said from the doorway dressed in conservative shorts and tee-shirt.

"I'm alright, Aunt Petunia," Harry said, not stopping his work. "I have sunscreen so I won't burn."

"Well come in anyway, the neighbors are starting to wonder." Petunia said, turning back to go inside.

Harry sighed, sitting up on his knees and stretching his back. He stood slowly pulling up his shorts as he went. He always wore Dudley's old shorts when gardening, it kept him from ruining his clothes and Petunia had just taken the boys shopping for summer clothes.

Going inside Harry took a quick cool shower and put on a pair of his new clothes; a tank top in white and a pair of jean shorts that were so short as to be barely legal. But they showed off his long legs very well and gave him a minimum tan line which was something he enjoyed.

Dudley was in the kitchen eating a cold sandwich, he had resigned to the fact that he had his father's genetics and would be fat all his life. Harry, on the other hand, knew that Dudley was just being lazy. If he really wanted to reduce weight, he would work out or go on a diet… or both.

"Mum left you a plate in the icebox." The teen said between a mouthful. "By the way, it's your turn to make dinner tonight."

"Oh, thanks for reminding me," Harry said, taking the covered plate from the top shelf in the refrigerator and getting a glass of cold tea. "Any requests?"

"You know I like anything you make Harry," Dudley said, taking a drink of his tea. "But make it quick to eat, mum said dad was going to take up to the ice rink after dinner."

"Brilliant," Harry said, then dug into his food.

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Across the street from Number Four, a dark shadow silently watched the boy through the open curtain windows. The man was confused; this wasn't like the reports from Arabella Figg or his notions on how the boy who lived was treated. No this was almost normal, blain.

Severus Snape would have thought of something more from the boy. Rebellion, resolution, something extreme. But not this boring life. He almost wished the boy was pampered or abused, at least then this assignment would be interesting.

Both Voldemort and Dumbledore had assigned him the task of watching the boy for the same and completely different reasons. Voldemort wanted to know if the boy was being abused, he thought if he could save Potter then the boy would go to his side. Dumbledore wanted to know if the boy was being abused so he could figure out how to control him better.

Voldemort knew Severus was spying for the light; it was his idea after all.

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The next morning from his hiding space Severus watched the young Wizard step out of the house with his Uncle. The teen waved goodbye to the large man and set headphones on his head then jogged out of the drive and down the street. The Wizard watched the boy vanish around the corner, his shorts barely covering his rear.

"Bloody hell! That should be outlawed." Severus muttered to himself, starting his car and following the boy. He followed Harry at a distance until he felt the boy leave the protective ward around his neighborhood. "Really, Potter? You could be kidnapped if you're not careful."

Three blocks later Severus pulled up next to the teen. Harry stopped running to glance at who was in the car then leaned forward. "Can I help you Professor?" he asked as if the man only lived down the street.

"Potter, what are you doing?" Severus asked, annoyed that the boy would use so much familiarity with him.

"I jog in the morning," Harry answered, resting his hands on his knees, unintentionally drawing attention to his shapely legs.

"Potter, do you realize a Death Eater could kidnap you once you've left the wards?" Severus growled forcing his eyes on the teen's face.

"Like you?" Harry asked with a smirk. "Will you take me to Diagon Alley for my school supplies? Uncle Vernon would but I'd have to get him up extra early and stay at his office all day. I don't want to inconvenience my uncle like that. And aunt Petunia is taking Dudley to get a new uniform from his school or I'd borrow her car…"

"I'm surprised you don't have your own car," Severus muttered.

"Oh, Uncle Vernon promised if I save for half he'll pay for the other half for a new car for graduation," Harry said, smiling pleasantly. "I had one that I bought used, but the transmission fell out and uncle Vernon won't let me buy another. Besides, I'm at school most of the year, I don't need a car."

"Sensible," Severus admitted, that the boy wasn't spoiled apparently if he paid for his own things. "Fine, I'll take you to get your school things."

Harry smiled. "Great, let me just go change and tell my aunt." The teen stood and began jogging back to his house.

"You're just lucky I need to go there anyway," Severus muttered, turning around and heading back to Number Four.

Fifteen minutes later Harry appeared from his house in jeans and a tee-shirt, his book bag was thrown over his shoulder and his robes were draped over his arm. The boy smiled again as he slipped into the passenger seat and handed over a few pounds. "For petrol, it's all the Muggle money I have on me." He said buckling his seatbelt.

Severus took the money, surprised. "Why don't you ever act this way at school?" he asked, noting the difference in behavior. Potter never acted like a well-mannered young adult before.

Harry shrugged. "I'm supposed to be a cheeky little bastard." He shrugged, "Why? Would you rather I act normally at school instead?"

"Yes, actually I would," Severus said, driving away from Surrey and toward London. "At least then one of my students would act like a civilized person."

"Will you help me with Potions then?" Harry asked shyly. "I understand the theory; it's the application I have trouble with. I don't understand, it's just like cooking."

"You cook?" Severus asked, surprised again.

Harry nodded. "Uncle Vernon and I took cooking classes before I started Hogwarts. Aunt Petunia and I switch off during the week and Uncle Vernon cooks on the weekends."

"Then what problem are you having with Potions?" Severus asked interested in the answer, Potter was right cooking and potions were basically the same.

"Well, other than the fact I have to constantly watch Neville's potion to make sure he doesn't blow it up, I mean come on, who can blow up boiled water? Really?" Harry started taking a deep breath as he went. "Then there is the problem with keeping the Slytherins from sabotaging Ron's potion, he really doesn't pay any attention, I think he's bored. Then I also have to make sure my potion doesn't get ruined, which isn't helped when you breathe down my neck all the time. I understand having to learn how to brew under extreme conditions, but really sir, do you actually have to breathe down my neck?" there was a ghost of a smirk on his lips. "A little heavy breathing from a foot away has the same effect."

Severus glanced at the teen enjoying the freedom the teen had in confiding in him, even in jest, to snap at him. "Are you sure?" he asked, allowing a small pull smirk to grace his face.

Harry nodded enthusiastically. "In fact, it's creepier….like Vader…."

Severus blinked. "Did you just compare me to a sociopath that dresses in black?" he asked in mock outrage- which to the untrained eye would seem to be real outrage.

"If the robe fits."

"Twit," Severus said with a put-upon sigh, making Harry laugh.

They sat in silence for a long while every once in a while, the teen laughed at the obviously very funny joke he had witnessed. Though Severus didn't think the Vader crack was that funny. Maybe Harry thought he didn't know where the idea came from, or maybe he thought Severus had never been a teenager. Star Wars was very popular when he was a boy.

Finally, he asked. "What is so funny?"

Harry giggled, "I was just thinking, with all the trouble I get in at school with you it would be funny if you waltzed into Potions one day and say, 'Luke...I mean Harry, I am your father. Keh-he, keh-he.'"

Severus raised an eyebrow trying hard now to laugh. "You are a very strange child." He managed to say with a straight face.

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Sometime later they arrived in London and the Leaky Cauldron. Shortly after their tirade, Harry decided to take a cat nap allowing Severus to think in peace.

Obviously, someone had already kidnapped the boy and replaced him with his twin. Or possibly replace him with a Pod Person, he would have to remember to check the backyard and any nearby caves for alien life forms.

He really had to stop taking Draco to movie marathons.

"Potter, wake up, we're here," Severus said firmly, touching the teen's shoulder.

Harry opened his eyes and stretched with a huge yawn. If anything he seemed perkier than before. "We're here? Great!" he said cheerfully, bounding out of the car and waiting impatiently out on the sidewalk for his teacher to do the same.

"Impatient child." He muttered, deliberately taking his time in getting out of the car. Harry smiled at him mischievously once the car doors were locked then ran across the deserted street into the pub. "Brat child also."

Harry was chatting with Tom the owner when Severus entered the pub. He waved at the Potions Master and then excused himself. "Ready?" he asked, looking as if he would run ahead again.

"Shall I put you on a kiddy tether?" Severus asked, annoyed.

Harry thought about that. "If at any time I get turned into a little kid, you have my full permission to put me in overalls and harness me." He said seriously.

"That can be arranged," Severus promised, narrowing his eyes dangerously.

Harry smiled. "For Christmas then." He said then normally walked to the back where the wall to Diagon Alley was located.

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"What do you think of his book?" Harry asked in Flourish and Blotts after a great show of looking for any insane people selling books before entering. He held up a book on Potion basic review to his teacher for his input.

"You're a little more advanced for that, even in review," Severus said, putting the book back on the shelf and taking three others down. Two were similar to the first and the third was an advanced Potions text not on the school list since Harry already had that book.

Harry looked over the last book with interest. "Wonder if I can write a cookbook for Potions." He used to set the book in his pile.

"I suppose if you put your mind to it you can." Severus accepted. "Though I do suggest knowing what you're doing before you get others killed."

"Oh so experimenting on you is out of the question." The boy said innocently.

Severus glared and stepped forward menacingly. Harry shrieked and ran behind the nearest person, who just happened to be Draco Malfoy. "He's going to turn my hair odd colors!" Harry yelled pointing at Severus as if the man would kill him.

Draco blinked until Harry nudged him in the side. "I suppose I have to defend you and take the brunt of whatever Professor Snape plans to do?" he asked the brunette with a raised eyebrow.

"Uh-huh," Harry said, nodding slowly.

Draco turned to his godfather. "Pod Person?" he asked, nodding toward Harry.

"Haven't searched yet," Severus answered honestly.

"Can I turn his hair colors?" Draco asked seriously.

"I don't know," Severus answered. "It might interact badly with whatever he took."

"True," Draco admitted. "But I'm willing to take that chance."

"Hey!" Harry said in mock outrage. "I'm entitled to be as annoying as I please!"

"Your right Potter," Draco said then pulled out his wand casting a spell before the other boy could react. Then he produced a mirror showing Harry just what he had done.

"No!" Harry cried looking at his blond hair; he looked almost like a Malfoy. Then he pulled out his wand and cast the same spell.

Draco pouted at his dark brown hair. "I look like you now!" he cried.

"That was the point," Harry said calmly.

Severus sighed in exasperation. "I can't take you anywhere." He said taking Harry's arm and leading him away for the rest of his books.

"He started it." Harry pouted. "Although I hadn't thought of being blond to hide from everyone."

"I'm sure Lucius appreciates that," Severus said.

"Yeah, we should find him and see if he drops dead from bottling up the shock," Harry replied eagerly.

Severus shook his head. "Let's not and say we didn't," he said.

Harry's jaw dropped. "Wow, you know a Muggle saying!" he said in fake surprise.

"Hush," Severus ordered.

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The rest of the day went on much like the beginning. Harry and Draco chased each other around Diagon Alley as if they were old friends. Lucius questioned Severus at length as to why his son had changed hair color with Potter of all people. On the whole, the spectacle was too surreal for the Potions Master who contented himself with sitting at a little sidewalk café on the Muggle side with the older Malfoy and letting the children run themselves into exhaustion.

"Our Lord wishes to know what you found," Lucius said after their tea was served.

"Honestly I have no idea what I've found," Severus said after a long moment of silence watching the two children across the street at a park join a game of Football (Soccer) with some other children. "He isn't like I expected away from Hogwarts. He's normal. No abuse, no pampering. Just normal middle working class."

"And Dumbledore knows nothing of this?" the blond asked, raising an eyebrow. "I thought the old man knew everything."

"Apparently not," Severus answered. "I will bring the boy to our Lord if he so wishes after this news, but from what I can tell Potter isn't in any danger from Dumbledore."

"I will inform him tonight and bring back word," Lucius said standing. "Just use your best judgment until then."

"Of course," Severus said, standing and throwing a few pounds on the table to cover the bill and a tip.

The two men crossed the street and called their charges away from the game. Lucius ran his fingers through his son's hair shaking his head a little, the spell would keep until the caster reversed it and from the looks of things, neither boy planned to do so any time soon.

"Come along Draco, your mother will be worried," Lucius said, glancing at Severus again. "Severus, Mr. Potter." He acknowledged turning to walk to the car waiting for them.

"Hey Draco," Harry said, handing the other boy a slip of paper from his notebook.

Draco took the paper, opened it, and smiled before grabbing the Muggle pen and proceeded to write his phone number down then ran to catch up with his father waving cheerfully.

"Thank you, Potter," Severus said once the pair was gone.

"For what?" Harry asked, confused.

"Draco hasn't genuinely smiled in years," Severus said, looking down at the teen proudly. "The hardships of who his father is, weighs on him greatly."

Harry smiled. "Yeah, we have a lot in common." He said, turning to walk to the Potions Master's car.

Severus watched the child for a long moment, surprised. "I suppose you're right." He said to himself, deciding from then on not to judge the child for the father's misdeeds, even if that child was the son of James Potter.

After all, not every child is their father's son.

End