ACT TWO: PP TOUCHES PART II: ELECTRIC SCREWALOO
Chapter 1: BookIt!
Stoop Kid destroyed the earpiece by smashing it with a pair of pliers and a hammer on his workbench he had in the basement. He also did the same with the watch the agent had been wearing before sprinting back up the stairs and into the home.
"CHLOE, WE'RE FUCKED!" Stoop Kid shouted as he burst through the door. He was immediately greeted by the sight of Chloe's book club standing and conversing in this same room whose attention was now collectively focused on him.
"Excuse me?" one of the women said to Stoop Kid.
"Uhh, I was telling Chloe it's time to fuck." Stoop Kid replied, hoping to squash any suspicions.
"Stoop Kid! What has gotten into you?!" Chloe said. "What did I tell you about drinking in the basement? Head upstairs and have a bath to sober up a bit while we go about our evening in the other room."
Stoop Kid appreciated Chloe's quick thinking for having eased the tension and thrown off further suspicion the women may have had regarding his abrupt and absurd statement. He then retired to the master bathroom as suggested and drew a bath in an attempt to calm his nerves.
"I'm so sorry, girls," Chloe said to her entourage as they made their way into the library. "He can be a bit of a character at times when he's had a few too many Virgin Marys."
"Oh, that's perfectly fine," one of the women responded. "I get a little daring when I'm tipsy, too."
"Oh, Kimi," replied another one of the women. "You're daring even without the alcohol."
"I nearly forgot!" said Chloe. "It's your first time with us and I didn't even give you a proper welcome or introduction, Miss Finster."
"That's alright," Kimi said. "I'm sure I would have learned all your names by the night's end, anyway!" she laughed.
"Well, nonetheless, I'd only be a proper hostess if I introduced you to us all," Chloe replied. "I'm Chloe, here beside me is the ever marvelous Judy Funnie - she's visiting from out of town -, on the sofa there is Lila Sawyer and Phoebe Heyerdahl. I see you brought a friend with you, Kimi: may I ask their name?"
"Sure!" Kimi said. "This blonde bitch is Cindy Vortex."
Cindy, while seemingly annoyed by her friend's introduction of her, nonetheless offered a smile to the group and a quiet, "Hello."
"Well, it is a pleasure meeting you both," Chloe replied. "I hope you find your time with us this evening enjoyable. You joined us at a good time, too! We just finished reading 'Absolutely No Thoughts of Pounding During My Fun Day with This Kind T-Rex Because I'm Aromantic and Asexual and That's a Wonderfully Valid Way of Proving Love is Real' by Chuck Tingle. There is so much to cover in this book, it's not even funny!"
"Oh! Chloe!" Judie said. "I forgot to get the champagne from my car! Let me go grab it real quick! It's a lovely vintage I'm sure you'll just fawn over!" With that, Judie went out to her vehicle, returning only a few moments later.
"Chloe," Judie said. "Did you have a bird fly into your window today? I saw a trickle of blood seemed to be on one of its panes on my walk back in."
"Oh, uhh... why, yes, I believe so, Judie," Chloe somewhat nervously replied. "I scooped him away and cleaned up, but I must have forgot to dab the pane clean. Thank you for reminding me! I will be sure to spot clean it later on."
"It is always so sad when a bird hits the glass like that," Judie replied. "It is unfortunate that it does happen. Anyway, there is no need to dwell on it for the evening: champagne!"
Judy proceeded to pop the cork on her bottle of champagne, taking care to do so in a fashion that didn't launch the cork haphazardly. Nonetheless, the walk in had rustled it to the point where it did begin overflowing from the mouth of the bottle as she held it. The foamy liquid running over her fingers that grasped the bottle's neck, swirling down the length of her forearm before dripping onto the carpet from both her elbow and the bottom of the bottle.
"Oh no! I'm terribly sorry, Chloe! Let me set this down and go get a rag."
"That's alright," Chloe said. "I can get that soaked up quick enough and we'll be good to go for the rest of the evening."
Chloe retreated to the kitchen and returned with a washrag with which she soaked up the errant liquid, preventing a stain in the carpet and a damper on the evening.
"Well, girls... shall we?" Judy laughed.
With that, the women all had themselves a glass of champagne as they discussed the finer points in the literature they'd covered. After about a half hour or so, the women began filing out of the home, all save for Judy.
"Chloe," Judy said with a noticeable slur to her voice. "Now that all the other girls are gone, I have a question I need to ask you," she drunkenly continued.
"What's that?" Chloe replied, not quite drunk but somewhat tipsy herself.
"Well, you know I'm from Bluffington, right? Yeah, you know. Anyway, you know, in Bluffington they're- words, you know. Words get around. Words are everywhere and I know people there, you know? I was at the Starbucks the other day, right, and well, you know this one bitch comes in all weird and shit, and, well, anyway, you know, she's talking about shit, right?"
"Sure," Chloe said.
"Yeah, so, anyway, this dumb bitch she said she fucked ya boi way back a couple years ago like when he got back into town or some shit- before you guys met and stuff or whatever, but anyway, I didn't believe her at first because I can't imagine no man like Stoop Kid wanting to pound out some bitch that ain't even got no tits, like- Chloe, like, look at me-"
Judy drunkenly proceeded to unbutton the top half of her shirt, exposing her breasts to Chloe which were still in her bra. "Like, look at these. They're alright, you know, like maybe Bs or whatever the shit-" Judy then proceeded to undo her front-clapsing bra, exposing her breasts bare. "I got the perk and shit, but like even me, I'm telling you this coffee bitch was flat as fuck and I'm telling you this shit so you know I know what the fuck flat is and shit, you know?" Judy took another drink of champagne and continued on, tits out, speech impaired. "Like, why the fuck would Stoop Kid fuck her, you know? I mean... did he fuck her, though? Do you know if Stoop Kid fucked her? Does he care about shit like that?"
Chloe, who would have otherwise been quite put off by the discussion had she not been drinking, herself, offered a response to Judy, if only out of her own curiosity regarding the subject. "You know what? I don't know. If you want to know so much, why don't we just go up and ask him if he fucked a board, huh? Here, let me get a drink and follow you."
Chloe then went into the kitchen with Judy following and retrieved herself a glass into which she poured a respectable volume of cognac, which she then drank. "Come on. Let's go ask the man if you're so fucking curious."
The two women made their way haphazardly up the stairs with such discoordination that even Judy's small but still respectable in their own right tits experienced some bounce and sway upon her frame. Finally, the two women made their way to the bathroom door, Chloe opening it without even announcing entry. Stoop Kid lay in the tub asleep, totally relaxed from his bath.
"STOOP! WAKE UP!" Chloe shouted due to her inebriation.
Stoop Kid shot awake, splashing water over the edge of the clawfoot tub and onto the very nicely grouted and set stone tile floor which, while not original to the home, was installed only a few decades after its construction in the mid-1930s.
"HO! FUCK!" Stoop Kid shouted in his surprise. He then looked over to Chloe. "Yo, what the fuck?" he asked aloud as he saw Judy was also present, titties on full display. "Who is that and why is she taking her shirt off in here?" Stoop Kid demanded.
"Stoop..." Chloe slurred. "This is Judy. This is that girl I told you about from Bluffington or wherever the fuck. She does art and theatre and shit or whatever. She had a question for you, and I think I'm curious, too."
"Uhh... okay? You're obviously drunk. Ask your question and leave: I'm naked in here."
"Yeah, uhh... I was talking to this girl the other day and, y'know, like, she said something and I asked her what about and everything and, anyway, she said she fucked you or some shit a couple years ago when you got back here and stuff and, like, well, I was just wondering 'cause, you know, I didn't know." Judy said.
"Before I met Chloe, yes... I, uhh... was quite friendly with people."
"PATTI MAYONNAISE" Judy blurted out. "That's who she said she was. I barely recognized her!"
"Ahh..." Stoop Kid sighed. "Yes, I remember her. Yes, we did hook up. That was literally my first day back in town here, though, Chloe, quite a while before we ran into one another."
"You know I don't care about that, " Chloe said.
"Well," Judy said with a newfound, drunken confidence. "You fucked her? You didn't care about her tits?"
"Well, no, I guess not."
"So, you'd fuck a girl even if she isn't like Chloe?" Judy added.
"I mean, technically I have, so I suppose yes?"
"Will you fuck me- I mean, would you fuck me?" Judy asked. "...will you fuck me?"
