ACT FOUR: M. NIGHT SHALAHAMAHAMAHA
Chapter 3: Shittin' Out Babbys

The very next day, Stoop Kid was still visiting Judy at her apartment, making her a baked Alaska for an afternoon dessert, when suddenly Judy's water broke and she began going into labor. Stoop Kid carefully loaded her into her sedan and drove her to the hospital. A small flurry of snow began to fall as he did so, reminding him of both the days surrounding when they had first learned Judy were to bear his child and the day upon which it had been conceived. The check in process went well enough, and Stoop Kid joined Judy in her room, holding her hand while she pushed and pushed, finally giving birth to their child.

After some time, the doctor returned to the room to speak with them. "I have some good news, and I'm afraid I have some bad news," the doctor said to them. "The good news is you are now officially parents to a young boy. The bad news is your child is... Well, it appears whenever you two last had intercourse, Stoop Kid's penis seems to have somehow passed the cervix and concaved the infant's head in the womb, making him irreparably retarded. I will leave you two alone to have time to let that news settle with you. Either way, you'll find your son in the nursery when you're ready." The doctor then left. A brief silence fell over the room.

"Are you able to get up and walk yet?" Stoop Kid asked Judy.

"Not quite, but you can probably help me walk or maybe even carry me." Judy replied, smiling at him.

Stoop Kid smiled at Judy as she always seemed to know a way to overcome most any difficulties they might face, and always did so with a smile. He leaned down and kissed her as he knew she was an excellent partner to him, both in how she cared for him (emotionally and physically) and how she had also taught him, albeit inadvertently, to care for himself and others still around him and maintain a greater appreciation of all his relationships. While he missed Chloe very dearly (they both did), he finally realized in that moment that Judy would be able to please him in ways she would have never be able to. He was forever grateful for having accidentally thrown Chloe down the well, her inadvertent sacrifice granting him true lifelong happiness with a partner he was seemingly destined to be with, and he knew Judy felt the same.

The two then left the hospital to live the rest of their lives together with one another as true soul mates, abandoning their defective child to social services.

The End.

As the snow flies
On a cold and gray Chicago mornin'
A poor little baby child is born
In the ghetto
(In the ghetto)

And his mama cries
'Cause if there's one thing that she don't need
It's another hungry mouth to feed
In the ghetto
(In the ghetto)