A/N: Second chapter of the Blood and Chocolate Re-Write on deck! This will take place from Lila realizing she is pregnant, to Jerome's bond with his unborn sister, and her dislike of Jeremiah.
Chapter Warnings: Language, graphic depictions of birth, and a mention of the Nazi party.
Also, since Lila Valeska's actress was never named, I have chosen Alanna Ubach, who portrays Suze Howard in Euphoria, as her face claim.
From everything I have read – and I have scoured every inch of the internet – Lila was not always abusive. In fact, I would wager she may have been a decent mother before Jeremiah opened his filthy trap and started spewing venomous lies.
Nika was born October 31st, 1980 and the boys were born April 10th, 1978
One of the purposes of this re-write was to add more detail and, in this chapter, I have done so.
Lila's description of Nika's birth is exactly what I felt giving birth to my son.
"I feel like a part of my soul has loved you since the beginning of everything. Maybe we're from the same star."
Emery Allen
Lila could not believe this. She had taken many lovers in her life. Several within the circus itself. But by some miracle – or cruel twist of fate – the only one of her lovers who had ever managed to get her pregnant was Paul Cicero. The blind fortune teller with the side show.
She had fallen pregnant by him two years ago and had given birth to her twin boys, identical down to the last freckle, Jerome and Jeremiah.
And now with the little one growing in her tum. She rubbed her hand absentmindedly along her still flat stomach and heaved a sigh. Much like with the boys, she could not fathom the idea of getting rid of this child.
"Mama?"
She broke out of her thoughts to see one of her toddler twins, Jerome, staring up at her with his large emerald eyes. As usual, they were full of wonder, excitement, and more questions than she could ever hope to answer.
Luckily for her, he settled on one.
"Yes Jerome?"
"Sick?"
She shook her head and lifted him up to sit in her lap, his little fingers beginning to play with some of her dark brown curls, an opposite to the flaming red of his and Jeremiah's locks. She ruffled his hair, nuzzling her nose against his.
"How would you feel about having another sibling, Jerome?"
He looked up at his mother, eyes lighting up like firecrackers in the dim light of the dining room. She could tell he was processing her words, trying to find the right response to her question. He glanced backward at Jeremiah, who was looking at them now, too. Though, he did not seem as interested in their discussion as Jerome was.
"Nother brother?"
Lila thought a moment but shook her head.
"No," she wasn't sure where she was getting this feeling from, but she felt so sure of it. "I think this one might be a girl. A little sister for you and Jeremiah to love and protect."
Jeremiah studied them for a moment before turning back to whatever he was drawing. Jerome, however, poked her tummy lightly.
"Sister," he looked up at her. "In here?"
She nodded.
"This is where she will grow until she's ready to enter the world," she pulled his little fingers up to her mouth and kissed them. "That's where babies are kept. Even you and your brother."
"How?"
Zach, who had been sitting on the couch, choked on his beer, and glanced at her. Lila rolled her eyes at her brother before standing, dancing around with Jerome, not noticing the cold stare from Jeremiah on the floor.
"I believe the 'Where Do Babies Come From' talk is a discussion for when you are older, my love."
He nodded and snuggled into her neck.
"She kicked!" two-year-old Jerome Valeska clapped his hands, his green eyes shining with excitement as he looked at his mother. "Did you feel it, mommy?!"
Lila smiled at the more exuberant and louder of her twin sons, brushing a strand of his red hair off his forehead. The moment Jerome found out he was going to be an older brother he had been over the moon. This had only been amplified tenfold when he found out he was getting a sister.
Lila had already decided that her little girl was going to be called Nika. It was a female name of Slavic origin and meant 'Bringing Victory.' Her sweet little daughter already adored Jerome, moving within her in response to his voice and brushing against his hand whenever he touched her belly. Lila's only cause for worry was that the unborn Nika did not seem to extend this fondness to her other son, Jerome's twin brother, Jeremiah. She was still and non-responsive whenever he did the same things.
Nika's Point of View
She heard his voice again. But not just his voice. She could see his mind. Hear it. Bright colors and shapes.
Jerome. His name was Jerome.
He was her brother. One of two.
Even though she was unborn, she could feel his love for her. See it. And she felt it in return. She would often send him images when he touched their mother's belly and could feel his delight. But then the warmth would fade and cold would take its place.
This signaled that the one who was not Jerome had taken his place.
Jeremiah.
She did not like him. His mind was not bright and happy like Jerome's. It was dark and cold, full of odd shaped walls with twists and turns.
Something was wrong with him. He felt nothing. He was just an empty void.
It frightened her.
Unlike her Jerome.
She was excited to meet him.
Lila was not sure where she was. The area around her was so shiny. She held her hand up in front of her face, beginning to walk into the whiteness.
She continued for what felt like hours before the forms of two people appeared in front of her. It was a boy and girl, both redheads. The boy had a hold of her hip, his lips pressed to the crown of the girl's head, his other arm hidden by his side, but she could tell he was holding something from the position of his shoulder.
She did not have time to react as the boy turned and swung a hatchet right at her face.
Lila shot up in bed with a startled cry, her hand immediately going to her round belly, rubbing over it. She glanced beside her and thanked the heavens that her nightmare had not awoken the twins. Jerome was a nightmare when he didn't get enough sleep.
She rubbed her forehead, groaning in distaste when she felt the sweat matting her hair to her skin. She eased herself out of bed, holding her belly protectively. The further along she got into this pregnancy, the stranger her dreams became.
She sighed, walking to the bathroom to splash cold water on her face, looking into the mirror at the woman staring back at her. Fingering a lock of her chestnut brown hair, she pondered where her boys had gotten their flaming strands from and if her daughter would inherit the same shade.
Her fingers clenched hard on the sink as her daughter kicked furiously in her tummy.
"Come on, Mäuschen," she rubbed at the sore spot, cooing a German term of endearment to her little daughter the way her mother used to back in Munich. "Mommy needs to sleep."
She heard a stirring behind her and turned to see her mother in a nightgown, shawl wrapped around her shoulders, her greying auburn hair pinned up in a circular braid.
"Did you have another dream, Bärchen?"
She nodded and followed her mother to the kitchen.
Petra Valeska had been born in Nazi occupied Germany on April 16th, 1936, to Alice Valeska and her husband, Klaus, who was, as Petra described, a wonderful father and loving husband to she and her mother. At some point, however, through means that Petra had never disclosed, she found out that her father was a member of the Geheime Staatspolizei, more commonly known as the Gestapo. This realization shattered her image of her father, and of her mother for accepting what her father was doing.
She was broken out of her thoughts by her mother setting a cup of tea in front of her on the table. She took a sip as her mother examined her.
"My mother had strange dreams when she was pregnant with me," Petra sighed and stirred her tea. "She would often tell me how they were either so beautiful they brought tears to her eyes or so horrendous they would make her expel the contents of her stomach."
Lila stared at her mother, transfixed at her words.
"After I was born, the dreams went away," Petra's face darkened. "But I could make others see them. I could even make images appear on paper or walls. Sometimes, if I concentrated hard enough, I could see images that had left an echo on an area. Almost like I was there." She squeezed her fingers tight around the handle of her mug. "That's how I found out the truth about my father."
"Why are you telling me these things?"
Petra refocused her eyes on her daughter.
"Jerome told me his sister shows him things," Lila opened her mouth, but her mother held up a hand, silencing her. "I believe him." Petra took her daughter's hand. "That little girl of yours is going to have great power, Lila." She squeezed her fingers, almost sadly. "But whether Nika will use it for good or bad, I cannot say."
Her mother rose from the table then, leaving her daughter to her thoughts.
It was only after her mother disappeared that Lila remembered she had never told anyone the name she had picked out for her daughter. No one, that is, except for the unborn soul herself.
A shiver ran down her spine and she quickly stood up, heading back to bed. She silently prayed for a dreamless sleep as she lay beneath the covers.
You walked into my life like you had always lived there
Like my heart was a home built just for you
A.R. Asher
It was a cold, stormy Halloween night when Nika Valeska decided to grace Haley's Circus and the world with her presence.
Zachary was grateful for the cracking of the thunder. It drowned out his sister's pained screams. Across from him, cradling a sleeping Jerome was Petra Valeska. He could feel the glare she was casting him without looking at her. It was no secret to him or anyone else that Petra loathed the very sight of him. The baby that had been a result of her husband cheating on her with some 'American whore.' It was Petra that had convinced Lila to make up that story about the sea captain daddy for the boys, and now, more than likely his niece, instead of telling them their father was a blind psychic.
He didn't see why it mattered, but he knew better than to argue with Lila. She was stuck so far up Petra's ass she wouldn't listen to him, anyway. He could not wait for the old bat to go back to Germany.
After a moment, he sighed and looked down at his feet where Jeremiah sat, doodling away on a piece of paper. He had been fascinated by mazes for weeks now after seeing one on a poster at the library and drew them everywhere.
"How long does this take?!"
Petra looked at him with a raised eyebrow.
"With the boys she was in agony for days," she stroked a hand through Jerome's locks as she spoke, casting a soft look at him. Zach rolled his eyes. The old lady had a soft spot for the older of the twins. Not that he blamed her. It was hard to have a soft spot for Jeremiah. He didn't really seem to care for people all that much. "Hopefully, Nika will be kinder to her mother."
Meanwhile . . .
Lila panted as the pain so familiar, yet so much worse than with the boys, tore through her. Childbirth was singlehandedly the worst pain anyone could every go through. She felt like every bone in her body was breaking, she was getting hit by a car, and like someone lit her on fire, all at the same time. Unlike with Jerome and Jeremiah where her contractions were all in her belly, all her labor with Nika was in her back.
It was excruciating. The pain was worse with every contraction, and it did not ease up for a breather in between. Lila felt like she was dying.
"I will die on this bed."
Madame Natasha dabbed at her forehead with a cold cloth, bringing some relief to her heated skin.
"No, my love, you will give life to your little girl on this bed," she rubbed a hand over Lila's belly soothingly. "A sibling for Jerome at last."
Lila turned her head. "I believe he already has one."
"One that he can play with, Lila," Sarah Lloyd spoke up from her spot at Lila's other side. "Jeremiah isn't interested in doing child things. Jerome needs a playmate."
She opened her mouth to retort but a scream came out instead as pain, new and horrible, ripped through her. God, she felt like screaming for someone to end her life. Paul Cicero was never coming near her again. The moment she was clear to move about on her own, she was getting her tubes tied. No more babies.
"I can see her head," the Doctor looked up from his spot between her legs. "You have to push, Lila."
She shook her head. "I can't."
Natasha and Sarah exchanged a look, both taking her hands.
"One big push, Lila."
Outside . . .
Zach and Petra both looked up as the unmistakable cry of a newborn split the air. Jeremiah looked up, seeming interested for the first time since he found out he was gaining another sibling. Jerome stirred, becoming aware of the crying. As soon as it registered, he was off his grandmother and shooting toward the trailer at the speed of sound.
Inside the trailer, Lila cradled her little daughter to her chest as she nursed, small fingers wrapped around one of her large ones. Her little Nika. Redheaded just like her brothers, with the brightest green eyes Lila had ever seen.
"Mama," Jerome had calmed slightly, pulling himself onto the bed. "Can I see her?"
Lila motioned him forward and he stared, awestruck, at his little sister.
"She's so little," he stroked one of his fingers along her tiny little cheek, making her turn her head to look at the newcomer, her green eyes landing on him. "Hi."
"Nika," Lila cooed. "This is your brother, Jerome."
She reached her little hands out and patted his cheeks, making him chuckle. Her smile disappeared, however, when she caught a glimpse of something – or someone – behind Jerome. Within seconds, the happy baby was gone as Nika's face screwed up and she began screaming like it was the end of the world. Jerome turned around to see what was causing her mood to change and glared when his eyes landed on his mirror image.
"Go away, Miah!" he stared at his brother, little fists clenched. "You're scaring her."
Jerome quickly reverted his attention back to his sister, rubbing his finger along her cheek, her cries quieting almost immediately as her mother showed Jerome how to hold her.
Jeremiah watched the scene with grumpy eyes, an unfamiliar feeling welling up inside of him as he watched his brother.
A/N: Well, that was longer than I intended. But I re-wrote it six times. I'll try to update more often but without reviews, I'm not sure if anyone is reading it. And without reviews, I also don't have any motivation to keep writing.
I got the idea for the Valeska siblings to have a German background while I was re-watching Gotham Season 4, episode 17 "Mandatory Brunch Meeting." Freeze raises his hand to ask a question and Jerome says for him to put all questions on ice until the end. When Freeze concedes, Jerome says, "Danke schön," which is German for "Thank you, kindly."
German words I used in this chapter, though they are technically terms of endearment.
Mäuschen – Little Mouse
Bärchen – Little Bear
Hopefully, I can get the next chapter out relatively quick.
