Saul gets an unexpected visit.

This chapter takes place a few years after the previous ones, during the last episode of season 1. Towards the end of it, to be precise, more or less a day after the battle with the Burned Ones.


Saul is reclining on the sofa in his favorite position, legs on the table, and thoughtfully stroking the shell of Toothless, who's sitting on his chest. The turtle patiently accepts Silva's affections, but finally it turns its head and meaningfully glances at the table, where there is another sprig of mint waiting for it. Saul, distracted from his thoughts, smiles slightly and obediently puts the animal down on the table. Toothless immediately starts devouring the mint, and Saul just has to make sure the turtle doesn't accidentally fall off. It's not enough to get his full attention, and thoughts, though unwanted, begin to fill his head again. Who would have thought that even a small reptile like this could trigger so many memories?

Lost in thought, at first he doesn't even hear the key in the lock. When he finally looks up, Sky is already standing in the living room door, clearly hesitating to go any further.

"Sky." Saul's voice is oddly hoarse. He clears his throat hurriedly and adds, "Have you come for the turtle?" He isn't sure why he said it. Probably because — he realizes with horror — this is, after all, quite a probable scenario. Sky may indeed want to take his pet, the rest of his belongings, leave and never come back, and Saul shouldn't even be surprised.

He involuntarily thinks back to the day Sky got Toothless. Despite the boy's assurances, Saul suspected that sooner or later some of the responsibilities of caring for the turtle would fall on him.

However, to his surprise, for the next several years, Sky was very diligent in his pet owner duties, and even as he entered Alfea and moved into the room he now shares with Riven, he swore that he would come regularly to feed Toothless himself. Of course, life quickly proved this impossible, but since the turtle isn't a particularly absorbing animal, and Saul still sees Sky every day at school, he didn't really mind taking care of Toothless these past months. Now, of course, everything is going to change...

"Where would I take him? Pets aren't allowed at school," Sky reminds him in a seemingly dispassionate tone.

"Yeah." Saul stands up and places the turtle and its mint sprig back in the terrarium, using the moment to get hold of his emotions.

"Silva…" Sky begins and stops.

Saul turns to face him and forces himself to look Sky straight in the eye. The boy, although clearly tired and sleepy, looks so young and innocent at the moment. As if he was a little child again and came to Saul to complain that he cannot sleep. Silva doesn't know why, but he involuntarily recalls that night from years ago, when Sky caught him reading 'Harry Potter', and he feels a painful stab in his heart knowing how much things have changed since then.

"Yes, Sky?" he asks dully, unable to prolong the silence any longer.

Sky shrugs and finally steps over the threshold.

"You know why I came," he says in a choked voice, apparently no longer able to pretend indifference.

Saul looks away again. It's true, he knows. Sky has always relied on him, always looked to him for help when he had a problem, for comfort when something was bothering him. The fact that the boy still seems to be doing just that, even after what he found out yesterday, is almost unbelievable to Saul. But although he so desperately wants to ruffle the boy's blonde hair as he used to do all these years ago, and promise Sky that everything is going to be fine, he knows that it wouldn't work any more, not today. So he remains silent, because after what he told Sky last night just before the battle, there is nothing else he could add, no gesture that could make Sky feel better.

"I don't know what else to tell you," he admits truthfully after a long stretch of silence, thinking bitterly that he never really could offer Sky much except for lies. But Sky already knows that. So why did he come?

"Could you make us hot chocolate?"

Saul looks up in surprise. Sky tries to smile encouragingly at him. It doesn't really work, but Silva appreciates the gesture nevertheless, even if he doesn't understand why Sky is doing any of this. At the moment, however, he is ready to take anything, even though he still doesn't dare to hope. So he obediently walks to the kitchen and opens the fridge to get milk. As he turns around, Sky is already taking two mugs from the cupboard.

Moments later, they are sitting back on the sofa, sipping Sky's favorite drink in complete silence. Saul turns a little to surreptitiously watch his foster son. Only after a while does he catch himself trying to memorize every detail, as if somewhere deep down he is afraid that this moment would never happen again. Sky, however, does not seem to be aware of his gaze. The boy leans back more comfortably, kicks off his shoes and puts his feet up on the table. After a while he meets Silva's eyes and smiles slightly. Saul is afraid to reciprocate that smile, as if it were to fly away like a scared butterfly the moment he tries.

"Remember when we were reading 'Harry Potter' together?" he blurts out in an act of desperation, realizing that Sky won't start the conversation. In fact, the boy showed a tremendous dose of goodwill by coming here after what he found out about his father, Silva and Aster Dell. So it is probably only natural that Saul must take the first step now, even if he has no idea how.

"You wanted to fly a broom and have the Marauder's Map, only one that'd show Alfea, of course. And you even called me Dumbledore once, remember? It's funny because I've always thought of myself more as the basilisk."

"You really wanna talk about kids' books now?" Sky straightens up abruptly and turns to face him.

Saul grimaces involuntarily. He didn't think his words would have such an effect. On the other hand though, maybe anger is better than indifference?

"Or you know what? Let's do this," Sky changes his mind, his voice full of emotions. "Remember who Dumbledore ended up being? The manipulator, the liar who'd raise Harry like some tool, a weapon for the next war?"

"It's not quite how I see it," Saul argues, unsure at first, but finally getting carried away with his emotions as well. "I see a man who made mistakes, but tried to repent of them, who genuinely cared for Harry and hid the truth only to give the boy at least something close to a normal childhood without all that extra baggage. I'm not saying he did everything right, but I believe he did the best he could. Even Dumbledore was just human, Sky, just like all of us."

"Uhmm, Dumbledore was just a man who made some mistakes. My father was a hero who had a few flaws," Sky sneers at him. "Couldn't you have told me just a bit of the truth?" he asks suddenly.

"Not even about Aster Dell. I can understand why you were hiding it, Silva, I really do. I'm not sure how I feel about it yet, but at least I know that if I were you, I'd probably do the same. But did you really have to make me worship my father like some fucking god for sixteen years?"

Saul shakes his head, trying to clear his mind of the excess of thoughts.

"I don't know, Sky. I think I just couldn't do it any other way," he almost whispers as he fixes his pleading gaze on his foster son. "Sometimes I wonder if I still remember myself what Andreas really was like. I don't know…" he repeats, looking down on his hands.

Sky snorts softly and tilts his head back, resting against the back of the sofa. For an excruciatingly long moment, he stares at some vague point on the ceiling. Finally, he exhales through his mouth, as if letting all his anger escape through this breath.

"Neither do I, Silva," he says in calmer tone. "Since yesterday, I've been doing nothing but trying to understand. But I don't know if I can, if I ever will..."

Saul nods tentatively.

"Thank you for at least willing to try it," he says quietly.

Sky glances at him and sends him a wry smile.

"I have to. Because you're still my Sirius after all."