The Missing Piece in Ranger's Life

oOoOo

Chapter 2

Ranger POV

Like I said before, it definitely takes something drastic, or extreme, to give you clarity and appreciate what you have, what you have achieved and what you have become. This entire clusterfuck is a perfect example. But, ironically, it shakes you to the core, making you realise those things don't matter. In truth, all of that is inconsequential, because most of all, it made me realise what I really want, that important aspect that makes me feel whole … that there was a missing piece in my life. Something I desired, coveted, and desperately needed, even though I thought I didn't deserve it. That element of light. That special sensation I get when she is near. The way she can make me smile. The way she can make me feel. Her unconditional friendship, trust and acceptance of me as I am, and likewise, of my men at Rangeman. Her capacity to love. I never expected any of that. I realised that she was my Missing Piece, that tangible indication which made my life worthwhile.

With those heart-warming thoughts of Stephanie, I finally relaxed into a fitful sleep.

Did she wait for me?

Was I in her thoughts and dreams at night?

I can only hope.

Would she be ensconced in the Burg under her mother's and Morelli's divisive and destructive control?

I shuddered at those thoughts.

Is she still strong like when I saw her the last time?

Is she still living in Trenton?

And I only dared to whisper this last thought …

Is she still alive?

My mind went down crazy scenarios as I recalled her many mishaps and close escapes from car bombs, explosions and fire, not to mention the crazy stalkers and loose cannons, aka, shitty skips. No. I resolved. I would know. Instantly. I would feel it. My heart tells me she is still there, somewhere. If and when we make it out of this clusterfuck, someday is not going to cut it. If she'll have me, I want to make it every day, not just someday.

Regrettably, I had no time to say goodbye, as I often tried to do, just to let her know I would be in the wind, and to contact Tank for support. Pfft. That was another indicator that this mission was compromised from the get go, with the altered timeline and immediate departure. Yes, it has happened before that we had to leave at a moment's notice, but this was different, in so many ways. The purpose was not one of critical urgency like we have encountered before. There were no dangerous political ramifications and, well, it just felt off. But the altered drop off was the clincher. Yes, it was so fucked up from the start.

I was really hoping she would be surrounded by the support of friends, her Merry Men. Dios. I said a little prayer, despite having a darkened and tainted soul, here I was, desperately wishing for a chance to see her, my Missing Piece, Stephanie Michelle Plum. Just to be able to touch her, to hold her, caress her soft skin, feel her heart beat, kiss her soft lips ... I yearned for all that. I sighed, then chuckled at how Stephanie would react to that if she could hear my yearnings, especially that sigh. And, on cue, I rolled my eyes! If we … No. When we get back, I will confess to both deeds.

Our second flight was on another military aircraft, a cargo plane, once again hidden amongst the cargo. We were part of the cargo manifest, unknown to the ground crew. Pedro's brother Emilio signalled the need for silence since this departure was shrouded in secrecy. My man Tank had made good alright. He obviously realised our mission had been compromised and had gone totally FUBAR. Indeed, we have had to use this sort of contingency plan before.

Coincidentally, Tank and I had reviewed and refreshed that plan recently. It was Standard Operating Procedure. Only the two of us knew the specific details. We already suspected that someone in our upper domain was playing power games and had been deliberately setting us up, but not to this extent. It wasn't a suicide mission, but we were definitely being double-crossed and manipulated. We already had our suspicions when protocols were altered so suddenly. But not in the usual manner. It just left me with a hinkey feeling. I smiled, thinking how it reminded me of Stephanie's spidey sense.

Once stateside, landing on a small rural airstrip, we found Doc and Taipan with two vehicles. The small cargo plane was only on the tarmac long enough to unload us before it was off again. Cargo planes are not noted for their comfort. It was good to stretch and walk a bit, even if it was just to the vehicles.

Before we reached the halfway house, we pulled off the main drag, deep into a well-wooded side track. This is where we parted ways with Bernie, who was to be taken by another SUV and secreted away. Bernie, like us, also had to go into isolation which was a necessary part of the protocol, and most critical under these type of circumstances. He was conscious by now and a lot calmer and expressed his gratitude and appreciation, fervently praising our bravery.

"It's what we do. Be safe and follow and obey the protocols. Our men will look after you. I trust them, and so should you. It is too dangerous yet to reveal your presence to anyone, which includes your family. Your return must remain a secret until we get official clearance. The safety of your family is very much at stake. These type of terrorists are ruthless. Understand?"

He nodded his head vigorously and shook hands with all of us.

I grinned as I acknowledged Spike and Shaft, fist bumping them. The cursory appraisal of our various injuries I saw in their knowing glances needed no explanation. They just nodded recognising a classic FUBAR situation. Seeing Bernie, they recognised the evidence of torture. They will be on nightmare watch for a while helping him through that trauma. At least we all looked somewhat better now. We have done this scenario a number of times but it's rare that all four of us get injured. I nodded to Spike and Shaft, patted the bonnet of their SUV and they drove away.

Doc and Taipan drove us to a secure safe house where we would be secreted away. Once inside, Doc immediately went into medic mode, drawing blood from each of us as we stripped ourselves of all our jungle camo gear, including our boots. Taipan bagged them for disposal when the removalists arrive. We were quickly clad in robes until Doc could check us for a full and thorough physical.

He prioritised and documented our injuries, immediately putting Rex on an IV drip while we waited out turn. Under anaesthetic the bullets were removed and found to have missed any bone, leaving a wound and a recovery plan similar to a hamstring injury. We all had fresh sutures over the temporary steri-strips. Javier had already itemised the status of the wounded, in code of course, so Doc had all the necessary medical supplies and equipment by the time we arrived set up in this safe house. Taipan assisted Doc in all his procedures and then together they prepared our food while we went upstairs to clean up. Aah. Real food. Clean fresh water. The simple things we appreciate just cannot be taken for granted.

Our safe arrival was confirmed by Taipan, with the satellite phone, and that we were lying low. They were aware that any Rangeman personnel would be watched closely, so their direct involvement with us was out of the question. Discretion was critical. Satellite phones were a must for any other communication, albeit brief, until we had more Intel.

In the meantime, we took turns to shower, assisting each other, bearing in mind our injuries. It was good to be able to clean up and wash away the jungle filth. I trimmed my beard, with some help, keeping the new look as part of my cover. Comfortable, soft, fresh clean clothes and real food, felt so luxurious, as did a real toilet. But best of all, a bed, a real bed. Man, the simple luxuries we take for granted. That's why I always have those luxurious Egyptian cotton high thread count sheets on my bed.

After cleaning ourselves up, Doc re-dressed our bandages. We enjoyed a simple meal of potatoes, corn and pizza, and fruit, which was glorious after our dwindling MRE supplies and living sparingly on what the jungle provided.

Doc insisted on antibiotics for me, but I refused the painkillers, but agreed to the sling for my shoulder. I had recouped and my injury was minor and clean. We cleaned up and stashed our combat gear in a large floor safe, which was hidden inside the garage under a large heavy workbench. We can't very well be discovered with our specialised ops gear, weapons and equipment. Our bagged clothing went in another floor safe. We retrieved the hidden weapons from Taipan that were hidden in the house, to carry on our person.

We debriefed once again and came to the same conclusions: we were set up to die in the jungle; situation FUBAR, TARFU and SNAFU. Whatever, just pick one.

As far as the mission was concerned, we were MIA, presumed dead. Tank confirmed this when he contacted the higher ups. Tank just texted, "MIA check. PKIA." Brevity was imperative. Missing in Action, and, Presumed Killed In Action. Well, that gives this clusterfuck more credence that our mission was deliberately sabotaged.

I couldn't sleep that first week. I was restless. My mind was not settling, rehashing the mission clusterfuck. Why would someone sabotage our mission? It's not like it was one of those high priority special ops. My mind was constantly rolling those thoughts around. Clearly, I was the intended target, with my colleagues, and the target, Bernie, just collateral damage. Assholes! I needed to relax and I knew just how that was possible.

While I was not fully functional physically, I have to be patient, since it is harder to defend myself with one shoulder still recovering. Besides, Doc would be down on me like a ton of bricks if I damaged it. Yeah. I sighed again. It is still too soon. Instead, I went downstairs and made myself a hot chocolate. Doc gave me a once over and insisted I take some painkillers. He eyed me with concern, before he handed me a couple of capsules of melatonin.

"Your body clock is all ass about, man. You have to give it a chance to relax. You have been on high alert for such a prolonged amount of time. Just take these as well."

I knew he was right as I eyed the melatonin capsules. Many times, I had taken part of a night watch to protect my team. I felt responsible. I relented and once back upstairs, I fell into to a dreamless sleep. No nightmares tonight thankfully.

After more than a week being cooped up in the safe house, I decided I had to escape, albeit briefly, just to reassure myself. It was late. Taipan, with whom I had worked a number of missions, was a man of few words. I nodded to his unspoken question. Checking the security cameras, I made my decision to locate the vehicle parked a few streets away. It felt good to jog outside in the fresh air for a change. My transport looked like any old Ford Escort van, with its forgettable dull, dark grey, neatly parked in the garage of an empty house, a Rangeman house. From outward appearances, the house looked lived in and well-maintained. Beneath the bonnet of the Escort, everything was in mint condition as it purred along quietly into the night.

Driving towards Trenton I couldn't stop thinking about her. I had a huge knot of anxiety in my stomach. There was also that edge of excitement, a good feeling of anticipation. Knowing that I was getting closer to my destination, closer to my Missing Piece, eased the tightness. But I knew that the only relief would be when I actually saw her. Just seeing her would have to be enough for now.

I made my rounds and found her car in her parking lot. Parking the car a few streets over, I made my way to Stephanie's old apartment. My heart was beating rapidly, knowing she was alone, since I had confirmed that the Morelli truck was at his house. As I closed and locked her door, an overwhelming sense of relief came over me. While I leaned against the door, I took a moment to let that sensation wash over me, before I quietly walked to her bedroom to find her sleeping peacefully in the middle of the bed. Slowly I eased myself in the chair, my chair, and relaxed, listening to her breathing as I closed my eyes, absorbing that euphoric feeling of overwhelming peace. I loved listening her sleep, as she made those sweet sleep sounds, her breathing even and steady, making mine go in sync with hers. Most of all, I loved to watch her, lying there peacefully, alone in her bed.

I inhaled deeply, absorbing the peace that enveloped me. She smelled so good, obviously from a fresh shower, her crown of curls splayed out over the pillow. I smiled, and I sighed. She was wearing that cute little slip of a tank top and little boy shorts. Seeing her skin exposed above the boy shorts was so tempting, if only I could just run my fingers lightly over her soft bare skin. Madre Dios. Such a delicious temptation.

Despite really wanting to go every night, I had to be satisfied with the blessing of that initial visit. However, each time when I did take the opportunity to visit her, I felt it. It was confirmation, confirmation of her wondrous light that seemed to repair my dark tainted soul. Sitting by her bedside, in my chair, like I was on a vigil, just for that overwhelming sense of peace she brought to me was confirmation. But, I made sure that I always left before dawn. It's amazing, even in her slumber she centred me, making me feel strong, and protective, and love her all the more. She was like a drug to me and I was addicted. I was hopeful that the tides had changed.

I've been waiting for the tides to change
For the waves to send you my way, …

I knew she sensed me there, but didn't wake up. The second time when I visited her a few nights later, I noticed tear tracks as she hugged the other pillow, my pillow. I desperately wanted to know why there were tears. I resisted the urge to caress her, really wanting to hold her and reassure her, to comfort her, to feel her sleepy warmth. Sigh. Each time, as soon as I sat down, Stephanie would rub her neck before she rolled over, towards me, with a little moan. I couldn't help but smile at that. She even muttered my name in her sleep and snuggled into the pillow with a smile. I was elated at hearing that! The temptation to crawl into bed with her, to touch her, to feel her warmth and her heartbeat, that wonderful soft skin, was so enticing. Mentally my hands wandered over her beautiful curves. I yearned for her, but I had to know. At no time did Morelli's name escape from her luscious soft lips, which I really longed to kiss. I resisted. I wanted to keep her safe, I needed to keep her safe. Until we know who set us up, it's best to stay low. Who knows who might be watching her. The threat was real.

It was then that I noticed she was wearing my Rangeman t-shirt! It was on the third visit, while I was hoping for a glimpse of her soft bare skin. I couldn't help but grin smugly. After soaking up the peace and ambience, as I left, I checked her fridge and found it to be in good supply from the "fridge fairy", with Ella meals and other food. I smiled in approval, pleased that she was still connected with Ella and Rangeman. Little Rex leapt off his running wheel to greet me with a perky whisker-twitching welcome as I fed him a juicy grape.

"Hey little buddy. I hope you have been looking after my girl," I whispered, giving him a couple of baby carrots as well. I smiled to myself, my girl. He nodded in approval as if in answer to my question before diving into his new soup can with his loot stuffed into those pouchy cheeks. His cage had been recently cleaned. I smiled as I left him.

Checking her dining table and the coffee table I noticed the skip files, I smiled. I left them in the same position so as not to alarm her that they had been disturbed.

After each time, when I left, I felt so uplifted for the visit, just being in her presence. I was extremely cautious leaving her apartment block, ensuring I left in a different direction, just in case there was a watch on her building. Not risking the use of that rusty rickety fire escape, for the creaky noises that would alert any watchers. So, using the lobby was the only option, either through the front street entrance or the rear parking lot entrance.

The guys figured I had been out, each time, checking on my woman. My woman. Yeah. I like the sound of that. I hope to make her mine, but it had to be of her own accord. No more Morelli. Asshole.

He didn't deserve her, because he just did not appreciate her. He just took her for granted. Initially, I thought he was a good man, that is, until I saw how he reacted each time to her various bomb scenes, fires and explosions. He never asked if she was okay. Nor did he check her out for any injuries. His lack of concern really baffled me. I never really witnessed any genuine concern on his visage, nor through his body language, for her welfare. His concern was surprisingly lacking and more about his reputation and image, and how it made him look. What the fuck! Who does that? Morelli was always angry at her which surprised me, and my men too. Always going off on a pacing and disparaging rant, he criticised everything about her work, her apparent lack of competency, and her choice in friends. That was getting old. But Stephanie needed to work that out, permanently. And, I also have my work cut out for me with my bullshit relationship stance. Dios. I have been so stupid.

Between Morelli and her mother, Stephanie could be worn down by their constant harassment and denigrating criticism. With any luck, I am hopeful that she has removed herself from their constant condemnation and censure to conform to the expectations of Burg life. They were relentless in trying to control her life, not letting her live her own life. My heart tightened at the thought of Stephanie relinquishing control to the overwhelming influence of that toxic pair. What gave me pause for concern was the night when I saw her tear tracks, and when I came into her loungeroom, finding her answering machine disconnected. That told me a lot. I was so tempted to listen to them, maybe get a pulse on the shit she's dealing with. Nah. That's an invasion of her privacy. If she wants me to know, I'm hoping that will be the case, then she will tell me. It is her story to tell after all.

As I left I sent her a virtual prayer: Be strong, Stephanie. They don't appreciate or understand you. Trust your instincts, Babe, and your loyal friends.

oOo

TBC

Wow. Thank you for all the awesome reviews. The Muse is so rapt and has gifted you this longer chapter. Thank you for all the many faves and follows as well.

Ranger sneaking out each time is risky business. But, we know he's the Best of the Best. There's so much at stake.

FYI, the military acronyms mentioned are:

FUBAR: Fucked Up Beyond All Repair

TARFU: Things Are Really Fucked Up

SNAFU: Situation Normal, All Fucked Up