So, I got hit with a major 'write you fucker' kinda mood, and I cranked out all of chapter 45 in under four days? So I guess I'm updating twice in seven days... cool cool, welp, hope you all enjoy!


"Okay… that was a bit… fast… so we're going to say back what we caught… okay?"

"Okay."

"Alright… You have 30 years worth of memories, and that's… it?"

"That is correct yes."

"And you met Annie on the fourth day of your living memory."

"Indeed ma'am."

"You've been married to her for the last twenty five years?"

"Yeah… she was the one to propose because she beat me to it on the Ferris wheel."

"Aww that's adorable! Oh back on track, right, for the last thirty years you've been a sheriff's deputy in a town called… Jaspy Nevada?"

"Jasper ma'am."

"Ah thank you for the correction."

"Next, some of your friends were in Monaco, and spotted the same emblem on your shoulders, only it was on Optimus' hood ornament, put two and two together, and let you know there were potentially others like you on Earth?"

"Yes, Narisa and Selena have very keen eyes, they were code breakers back in the cold war, and light aircraft pilots."

"Fascinating, and not once did they think to tell their superiors that you existed?"

"Not at all, for one thing they made a blood oath of secrecy when Annie and our boss Marria came clean to them all when Sophia walked in on me being obviously not a car and dead fainted, heh, didn't know humans could do that. Second, Maria and Annie would have hunted them down with the tenacity of bloodhounds."

"Good to know for future reference. Now back to recent events, you and Annie were attacked, by a Cybertronian with red optics, could fly, and who shot a missile at your home, you tried to fight back, but given you'd rarely had to throw a punch due to how quiet your town is, you were somewhat rusty and got your arse handed to you by a mech who's been fighting a civil war for the past few…. How long have you lot been fighting Optimus?"

"Roughly? Six million human years."

"Fucking hell, alright, so you got your arse handed to you, and your boss Maria proceeded to shoot, who we assume is Starscream, in the optic, and lived?!"

"Yeah you should have seen her, the devil probably would of shat himself."

"Snk… okay, pfft… sorry sorry… so Starscream, got shot in the optic, and then bolted with his tail between his legs?"

"Yeah, was more focused on Annie at that point though."

"Right right, and she's currently in intensive care in Jasper Nevada Municipal hospital recovering from burns on a good chunk of her body?"

"That is correct."

"Did we miss anything?"

"No ma'am's."

"Good, how would you feel if we had her transferred to Monaco so you can be there with her for the recovery?"

"I'd want to hug you and thank you and probably spend the rest of my existence in debt to you."

"Heh let's not get too carried away on that."


40 missed calls, 167 unread text messages, and a degree of worry and concern boiling up from behind his phones screen, had Prowl figuring he was in the metaphorical dog house.

Biting the bullet, he hit call on his phone, which had been left in his passenger seat compartment.

It rung once before the call went through. "An-"

"WHAT THE SWEET FUCK HAPPENED?!"

"Huh…?
"DON'T YOU 'HUH' ME! I'VE BEEN WORRIED SICK ABOUT YOU… oh my gosh Raf I'm so sorry honey I didn't mean to wake you, Prowl finally remembered he had a phone."

"It's okay Annie, I know you've been worried."

"Oh I am beyond worried, I told you he gets turned around at the stop lights even after living in Jasper for thirty god damn years! He's almost as bad at directions as Bella!"

"Annie…"

"Oh right… are you okay Prowl? Did you find them?"

"Yeah… wait… Molly didn't tell you? She was right there?"

"I am going to strangle that woman next I see her… of course that's why you haven't been picking up… are you okay? Did you get your answers?"

"Some of them, others they're not sure about either, like how I got here, though apparently their leader has some ideas… Annie, you know I don't like saying private things over the phone…"

"Of course sweetie, take all the time you need, Maria's been able to get some open ended contracts going here in Jasper so the towns alright…"

"That's good to hear… Annie… an offer has been made, to have you to transfer to the hospital in Monaco, they'll pay for the whole thing, so I can still be with you while you recover, and get to know them and myself more… would… would you be okay with that?"

"I distinctly remember our original plan being that I'd already be with you in Monaco, I'll ask June if a transfer like that is possible… and would the Hospital in Monaco even allow that?"

"From what I've gathered, they have certain sway with the board that runs the Hospital. So yes."

"Alright… I'll check on my end next time June comes to change my bandages… woman still hasn't taken a long weekend off… I'm going to have to turn the nagging up…"

"Ha! Alright… I guess I'll be seeing you soon… they all want to meet you too."

"Oh god Prowl… how much have you exaggerated?"

"Absolutely nothing."

"I'll see for myself when I get there… alright… I'm going to end the call now, see you soon Prowl, love you."

"Love you too Annie, take care, and focus on getting better alright?"

"Alright, alright, I will."

She cut the call, Prowl sighed, popping the phone back where he normally hid it, and had his 'holoform' step back out of his vehicle to regard Ratchet. "That was the buzzing sound you were hearing while you were examining me."

Ratched nodded a bit numbly and waited for the mech to return to his bipedal mode so he could continue scanning the mech.

So far he hadn't found anything.

Barring the obvious recent damage he'd taken from Starscreams attack that is.

Now Ratchet wasn't an expert in dealing with the Processor, he was a medic, medics were trained in how to patch mechs who'd gotten injured, not mechs who had somehow purged their entire memory bank.

Which was what this was looking like to him.

Purging a memory bank wasn't something a bot just did because they felt like it.

The memory bank contained the translated data of everything they had ever experienced, sights, sounds, smells, tastes and textures, it was what the processor used to keep itself and the spark safe by using old memories as reference.

To so completely purge everything one had ever experienced… there was only two things Ratchet could think of that might explain it.

Something had happened to Prowl, in the time between him going missing on Cybertron, and ending up on Earth, that was so universally traumatising to his processor, so overwhelmingly destructive to his memory banks that they became corrupted, and the processor purged everything to get rid of it.

Much like how the frame tries to purge viruses by transferring them into the frames fuel tanks and expelling all of it in the hopes of getting rid of the invading entity.

Both methods of purging came at high risks, one left the bot without any idea of who or what they were, the other, if the purging was sustained, could drain themselves dry to the point of going into stasis lock, or worse, outright offlinging because not enough energon was left to go between spark and processor to keep either functioning.

The only other option he could think of, curled his tanks.

He hadn't found any microscopic incision wounds, but those were only visible until the frame repaired them around an orn later…

Nmemosurgery was not something he liked to ever think about, but he also knew Prowl, knew the mech enough to know he wouldn't of purged his memory banks willingly, he'd seen his fair share of horrifying things, and had always been good at handling them by way of just seeing everything from the most logical point of view…

The more Ratchet pondered over it has he let his scans file themselves away from analysis later, the more he realised that Prowl very likely was the victim of Nmemosurgry… someone else had purged his memory banks, and left him to wander aimlessly without any identity.

A servo on his shoulder jolted him from his thoughts, he looked back over his shoulder to his mate, who's expression was solemn, Ironhide didn't speak to him though, he looked over him to Prowl. "Derrick's itching to hear more about this mate of yours, something about him being a, and I quote his sisters 'a hopeless romantic'."

Prowl, who'd been looking at Ratchet rather awkwardly as the medic zoned out, perked right up, doorwings bouncing so quickly he winced, though he hardly seemed to notice. "Oh! Thank you for telling me Ironhide!" The mech sent them both a bright smile, and then walked off to where the Peacock Harpy was standing with his siblings.

With the mech now distracted, Ironhide moved to take Ratchet's servo and pulled him out of the main area, down the corridor to the recently finished, 'meeting room'.

The chairs hadn't been installed yet like they had in the main area, so only a long table and a large screen on the opposite wall to the doors were inside, reminiscent of that board room in the Cosmopolitan.

Optimus was already waiting for them inside. "Ratchet… what did you find?" The Prime asked, right to the point of the matter.

It was as he came up to the table with Ironhide that he noticed Optimus wasn't alone, standing somewhat awkwardly on the table were the Harpies holoforms, specifically Ira and Kia, the twins were absent, likely staying as close to their younger sibling as had become their new norm.

Meaning they were likely in on keeping Prowl distracted while they talked.

Ratchet took in a vent to collect my thoughts. "There's no outright physical damage I can see to his helm, barring what he's stated Starscream did to him… so that rules out the data banks being physically damaged enough for them to no longer hold their contents, even if that was the case, Prowl would not be able to store new memory data in them if they had sustained that kind of damage, the frame is not able to repair such a drastic injury, considering it doesn't remember how… That really leaves only two other possible ways his memory banks could have been emptied…" He took a paused, glancing to the holoforms on the desk, they'd each sat down cross legged at this point.

Ira made a gesture that told him to keep going.

"Either Prowl experienced something so pervasively traumatic, the entire memory bank had to purge itself just so it would stop tormenting him… there have been cases of this in the past, curing such a thing is arguably impossible in this case considering how much of his memory banks have since been overwritten with new memories… Now, I know full well Prowl wasn't the kind of mech to just, react to something in a drastic matter such as a full memory bank purge, so either something beyond our comprehension was enough to tip him over… or… the other option happened… Nmenosurgery."

He could hear the invent that Optimus took at the mere mention.

He hardly blamed the Prime.

Ira's head knocked to the side and she raised her arm to ask a question. "Tha' fuck is Nm… nmem nmenosurgery?"

Attention shifted to the two holoforms, Optimus was the one that spoke.

"It is a procedure… created to… control the masses, by having a Nmenosurgeon go into a Cybertronians helm, and alter the processor however they wished, normally to 'take the fight out' of the bot on the table, that those of the higher ranks believed were causing too much trouble…"

Ira shuddered. "Cybertronian lobotomy, gotcha… Don' go mentionin' this tah tha twins alrigh'?"

Ratchet frowned. "And why would that be?"

Kia and Ira regarded him with a haunted look.

"Cause when they were little, they were on the receivin' end of ah botched labotomy… that's what the scar above Wren's eye is… that's where they went in."

Kia nodded and added. "That botched lobotomy cost Wren."

They exchanged an alarmed look, and Ratchet asked another question for clarity. "You mean, they, when they were the equivalent of a youngling, someone ordered a human surgeon to…" Both holoforms were nodding before he finished, allowing him to trail off.

Ironhide growled and rolled his shoulders, his leviathan cannons purring as they charged up. "Sure would like to have a few words with that fragger."

Ira let off a morose chuckle. "Good luck with that, tha twins took um all ou' years ago."

Kia nodded in agreement. "It's what they do best after all."

Optimus leant down to be more on their level. "And what precisely do you mean by that Kia?"

Kia shrugged. "Just know they don't really let people who are a danger live very long after they became that danger… Didn't something happen to the operating staff of that botched procedure Ira?"

"Yeah, somethin' did, couldn' find anything past the odd coroners report though, sure won' be findin' mention of i' in ah differen' reality… But… we all saw wha' they were li'e after tha' relic fucked with their head…"

They all fell into a somber silence at that, Optimus breaking the silence to adjourn the makeshift meeting, there was much to ponder over, with few to no possible answers in reach.

Making a personal decision, Optimus went to leave, he needed a while to just process this, Lena would probably be at her residence at this time of day he theorised.

Besides, he could already tell Ironhide and Ratchet were planning to head off to somewhere secluded to 'make up for lost time'. He could tell just from the brush of their EM fields.

A tap on his hip drew his attention to Prowl, who'd walked up to him at somepoint. "Um… permission to go pick up Molly? We did kinda leave her at the hotel and she doesn't know you brought me here."

Ah, that was a bit of an issue, well, he could work with this. "As it so happens, I was planning to take a drive to go speak with a friend, we can leave together if you wish… you will be able to find your way to the hotel and back… correct?"

Prowl nodded for half a second, paused, then rubbed the back of his helm. "Ur… no… I'm not very good with directions…"

"Ah can' help yah there." Ira piped up from where she'd wounded up between their pedes, causing both to jump.

Kia piped up from near the elevator up to the manor. "Don't let her get ahold of your steering wheel! She's a maniac behind the wheel!"

"AI! FUCK YOU TOO!" Ira hollered back.

Prowl laughed at that, easily scooping Ira up into his palm. "A navigator would be appreciated, thank you Miss Halloran."

"Pfft, Miss Halloran was ma… ma mums name, just call me Ira. Go' i'?"

Prowl nodded, and transformed around the other holoform, the ease in which she ended up in the passenger seat was obviously well practiced.

Optimus took that as his own cue, walking over to the lift back up to the manors garage, transforming into his altmode on the platform as Prowl rolled up to park next to them.

He spied Ira already speaking with Prowl as she fiddled with his radio.

This was going to be an interesting drive, he could feel it now.


Somewhere out in the cosmos

Soundwave couldn't recharge.

Long distance travel always caused Cybertronians not built for it to lose track of time, recharge cycles going into flux were hardly unusual… he thanked whatever being was out there that he'd found his littles, if he'd done this journey alone, he likely already would of gone a bit stir crazy.

But this was different, he's closed his bonds as much as he was willing to with his recharging creations, he didn't want to trouble them with the thoughts that were so heavily plaguing him.

He still hadn't told him about what he'd seen on that other Earth, sure he'd let them see the Hostel, Jack and Miko in particular… but the rest? He feared their reactions if he let them see what he had.

But if he didn't… it would weigh on his spark in all of it's quiet whispering state until that distant time when his spark finally gave out.

And of course he'd end up not being careful one cycle and their direct link to him will make it all too easy for them to see exactly what he's been keeping from them, and what has been haunting him…

Rumble had asked him recently what the humans had given him for a designation, curious to see what the 'stupid organics would think was a worthy designation for you' and he'd very nearly done another memory share before stopping himself and just tellig Rumble instead.

The memory was tied to something he wasn't sure if he wanted them to know the truth about…

They'd noticed of course, they'd become used to him sharing memories of his time separated from them, they definitely noticed him avoiding it that time.

Ravage had sent him a look telling him he knew something was up.

It was only a matter of time.

That was what was keeping him awake, that looming dread…

It had become a part of him now… he was so used to it, it normally didn't affect his recharge, but this was different.

It was the dread that the truth would come out…

He untangled himself from his littles, carefully setting them back down in a pile so they could continue to share their frame heat, they were all in deep recharge now, they wouldn't wake for a long time yet.

He eased himself into the captains chair of the little ship, staring out at the space for a moment before his frame curled into itself, his servos clutched the sides of his helm, and he let the violent shaking he'd been repressing finally take over his frame, causing his armour and the chair to rattle.

He'd sealed the door, it was soundproof, they wouldn't wake to him just… letting the dread have it's time to consume him…

When it was done, he'd be able to recharge…

That was when he felt the ghostly touch on his shoulder.

Before he could stop himself, he was falling back into the memory.

An apartment… somewhere… a safe house?

He was shaking, eyes blown wide, pupils dilated, the apartment was a blurred mess as his lungs struggled to pull in enough air, how long had he forgotten to breathe? How long had he gone without that precious air?

A bad dream… a bad dream… it was all a bad dream…

No… a nightmare… his Frenzy… his son… hacked to pieces… his decapitated helm jerking around on the gravel floor, only for the 'hero' to punt his son in his downed form, he heard the scream as he vanished off screen, the focus going right back to the human and his love interest.

Soft hands, smaller than his organic and metal ones, carefully smoothed over his shoulders, gently coaxing him to roll over, he was limp to her wishes, and soon enough his face was pressed into her collar bone, one of those soft hands carefully carding between his sweat soaked hair, the other plotting a circular path around the small of his back.

She enveloped him in her arms, she was taller than him, her long legs wound between his own.

Bare skin met bare skin, no barriers… they'd been in the throes of passion only a few hours earlier… but now that time of adrenalin fueled bliss couldn't seem any more lost to time.

She was there, that was what mattered.

His own hands, one made of flesh, one of metal, clutched at her, arms wrapped around behind her to cling onto her shoulder blades as he shook.

Her hand kept running through his hair.

She was singing, he'd only just calmed down enough to hear it, he let the soft melody wash over him, chasing the terror from him, allowing himself to focus on just how soft she could make her normally loud, vicarious voice…

He focused on the feel of her, how her creamy freckled skin gave under his grip slightly, well toned by muscle she'd worked hard to obtain…

She smelled of smoke… she had forged her life around the fires of rebellion… of fury and anguish, the smell now flowed off her, but he could also pick out her own unique smell, just as alien as the world he'd found himself carving out a new home for himself on.

At first out of necessity to stay alive… now… to thrive… to make the most of this new start… and the perilously short time he had left.

His lovers voice was so soft… he didn't understand a word of it… he was still new to her native language, so drastically different from the Japanese he'd woken up knowing fluently, that she used whenever she needed him to understand something.

Humans were fascinating, they could produce seemingly infinite different types of sound…

His love was testament to that… she knew so many languages… but it was only in her native that she knew how to speak softly, he didn't mind that, he was still learning, he had all the time in the world to learn it with her help…

"Teño, te ten Souma." She coed.

He let out an almost pitiful rasp of breath, clinging even tighter to her as she pet his head and rubbed the tension from his back.

"Quérote moito"

He huffed into her collar bone, he knew that one. "Querote moito." He mumbled back, his pronunciation still off… his words still… unstable… he'd broken his vow of silence months ago now, when he first let all his building emotions out for her to hear, when they were alone, under the stars, in a dark field they'd stumbled to in their haste to flee the authorities that had cracked down on the protest they'd helped to organise.

He still wasn't anywhere near as vocal as her, he was her shadow in a way, quiet but ever present as she stood tall and proud, that snarling grin on her features as she'd toss the brick she was wielding.

His head rose and fell with her quiet laughter.

He'd get it right eventually, and when he did, he'd pull out that little box with the ruby inlaid ring, and he'd ask her to marry him…

The closest to a Sparkmate humans could get…

A dark thought twisted around his heart, even as the rest of him unwound at her soft touches.

He fought it back…

Shrike told him in that final message that she didn't want him to go it alone… she'd known him for so long… she told him, in that way that left no room for argument, that he was allowed to grieve, but not forever… the chance of love was still out there… he'd find it again…

He wished he could thank her for stating it as fact… he wouldn't have believed it otherwise… he would have just kept on grieving, he still did, he mourned Shrike… he always would…

But now… now he had found love again… just like Shrike had said.

One that liked to play with his short hair…

One who's eyes he'd never grow tired of getting lost in…

One who held him through his tremors and night terrors…

One who stood like a fiery beacon of rebellion, not the kind he'd known on Cybertron, but a different kind he'd fallen in love with, and became a part of without hesitation.

She spoke so softly when it was just the two of them… the bravado she showed the outside world tempered into softness in their shared presence…

She was lifting his head by the chin, two fingers cupped under it and coaxing it up.

He lost himself in the warmth of her eyes, as she leaned down and pressed her naked lips to his.


He came back to himself in the captain's chair, lubricant had started flowing from his visor hidden optics at some point… he rubbed at the trails to try and get rid of the evidence.

The ghostly touches were gone… They would come back again… they'd haunt him for a long time to come, he'd accepted that… he relished in it actually…

Knowing that at least a bit of her was still there with him on this journey…

Into the known unknown.


Welp that's the chapter, hope you all enjoyed! Until next time!

Moon