Notes: Oops I guess this aged-up universe is a series of its own now. Part 3 of the "Ribbon Binding Us" series (part 1 being "Fourth Finger," and part 2 being "A recipe for").
There isn't a lot of Pino in this fic, despite being from Rody's POV. It's just so long and has so many other characters to keep track of that noting everything that our little birdie friend did on top of all that was too overwhelming, haha. Maybe I'll make some edits to include him later on!
MANGA SPOILER WARNING FOR BAKUGO'S HERO NAME.
Rated T for allosexual adults in committed relationships alluding to doing things that allosexual adults in committed relationships tend to do.
#No1BestManGeneralElection
Rody knew that planning their wedding would be a hassle. Obviously. He was marrying Japan's top hero, after all; even putting aside all the normal difficulties of wedding planning, they'd also have to deal with either the stress of the entire world making the wedding their business or the stress of keeping it quiet.
He just hadn't expected them to come upon a road bump so soon.
It was one morning, very shortly into their planning stages, that Izuku padded into the kitchen and leaned heavily against the refrigerator, groaning.
"Morning, honey," Rody greeted, turning away from the skillet of French toast just long enough to shoot his fiancé a smile. "Didn't sleep well? You seemed fine when I got out of bed."
Izuku shook his head forlornly, stepping back from the fridge to tug the door open and take out the carton of milk. "I was just thinking, and it hit me. I don't know who should be my best man."
Rody paused halfway through flipping the toast. "...Really?" That was surprising. Rody had known even before proposing that he would ask Roro to be his; it was unfathomable that someone as personable as Izuku wouldn't have someone in mind. He dropped the toast back onto the skillet, pursing his lips as he listened to it sizzle. "What about Katsuki? Or Shoto?"
Izuku sighed as he took a glass down out of the cabinet cupboard.
"Or Tenya? Ei would be a good choice too. Maybe Yuga or Denki?"
"Rody..."
"Oh, and there's no reason your best man has to be a man, so maybe Ochaco..."
"Oh god," Izuku groaned, placing the milk carton back on the counter before his trembling hands spilled it everywhere. "That's right, Uraraka-san is an option, too..."
So caught up in cooking and listing off names that he was, Rody took perhaps a moment too long to notice the actual problem. "Oh, wait. So you're not saying you can't think of anyone..."
"I can think of too many!" Izuku finished, staring down at his glass of milk. "They're all my friends, how can I choose just one?"
Rody hummed thoughtfully as he doled out the French toast onto plates. "I wouldn't worry about it too much. They can all be in your wedding party."
"But I still have to choose someone to be my best man..."
"Why don't you just discuss it with them? I'm sure they'll understand. Oh, if you're putting the milk away, could you take out the cut fruit while you're at it?"
Izuku sighed, opened the fridge to put the milk away, and returned with the Saran-wrapped bowl of fruit from dessert the night before. "I don't want to get anyone's hopes up, though. Won't they feel even worse if they know they were in the running at all?"
Rody chuckled, and as he took the bowl from Izuku, he leaned over to steal a quick kiss. "You're so sweet."
Izuku frowned, his cheeks face turning a pleasant shade of pink, and fiddled with the ring that he still wasn't entirely used to wearing. "Now you're just making fun of me."
"Not at all." Rody smiled, picking up both plates of french toast in one arm as he held the fruit in his other.
"And you're showing off."
"Okay, might be guilty of that one," he admitted. "Let's just sit down and have breakfast. We can discuss it together while we eat."
The results of their discussion were... not very conclusive.
Rody was familiar with all of Izuku's friends, naturally, so it didn't take much explanation for him to begin to agree with his fiancé's dilemma: nearly every one of them would make at least an okay best man, but they all had some sort of drawback, through no fault of their own.
Katsuki, as Izuku's childhood friend, was the obvious first consideration, but the thought of putting the explosive Number Two hero in charge of a wedding party was... a little frightening. Shoto presented similar concerns, just on the opposite end of the extremes; he was far less likely to offend, but he still struggled with interpersonal relations, especially in new situations. Tenya, as class A's former class representative, had the leadership and organization skills for the position, but Izuku worried that he might take his responsibilities a little too seriously for what was, at the end of a day, a celebration—a party.
It went on and on from there.
At a loss, they ended up searching the internet for "how to choose your best man," and from the search results developed a list of the most desirable qualities for the position:
-Organized
-Motivated
-Good-natured
-Trustworthy
-Has party-planning skills
-Knows the groom well
The list only solidified the assessments that they had already made.
"Let's stop worrying about this for now," Rody suggested as he cleaned up their dishes. "You need to get to work, so just purge it from your mind completely for the rest of the day. We'll figure something out eventually."
"All right," Izuku agreed with a slight sigh, still looking a bit down but not as miserable as he had been earlier. He followed Rody into the kitchen, wrapping him in a hug from behind after the plates were placed in the sink. "Thanks, Rody."
In lieu of a verbal answer, Rody turned around to face Izuku and cupped his chin to bring him up into a kiss, deep and loving and warm. Izuku sighed contentedly, melting into the contact and opening his mouth to deepen the kiss, and though it was incredibly tempting to continue ravishing those lips and tongue that tasted of butter and powdered sugar and fruit, Rody forced himself to pull away with a laugh. "All right, Hero, that's enough."
Izuku pulled back just half a step, eyes searching as he looked up at Rody. "You're flying out again tomorrow, right?"
"Yeah. Don't worry, we can have fun later tonight."
Izuku flushed bright red all the way to the base of his neck. "I... Jeez! I wasn't... Just, I didn't mean..."
"Sure you didn't." Laughing, Rody patted Izuku's hips, a silent promise, before turning him around and urging him out of the kitchen towards the front door. "Okay, Mr. Number One, time for you to get to work. I'll see you this evening."
"Ah, um, right." Izuku cleared his throat, picked up his bag, and turned to face Rody again just briefly. "I'll text you when I leave the agency, so if there's anything you want me to pick up on the way home, let me know."
"Sounds good. We're running low on eggs, but I'll text you if I think of anything else." Rody leaned a shoulder against the wall and gave his fiancé a lazy wave. "Have a good day."
Izuku smiled, opening the door and returning the wave, the morning sun glinting off his ring. "Thanks, you too, Rody!"
Once he was out the door, Rody waited for his footsteps to recede before bolting to grab his phone. He hated the idea of going against Izuku's wishes, but his fiancé had a bad habit of overthinking things sometimes, and if Rody taking matters into his own hands would make it easier on the hero in the long run, then so be it.
So he sat down in their living room, scrolled through his contacts to select every single best man candidate, and promptly invited them into a group video chat. Getting them all in the chat at once would be a long shot, he knew, but maybe he'd be able to catch some of them before they headed out for work.
Ochaco was the first to answer the call. "Hi, Rody-kun!" she greeted cheerfully, and he immediately felt guilty; from her surroundings and the full Uravity costume, he could tell that she was already out on patrol.
"Sorry, is now a bad time?" he asked, his gaze flicking to Shoto's video feed as the other hero entered the call; he was clearly still eating breakfast, so at least Rody had gotten someone who wasn't on the job. "If you're busy, Ochaco, I can catch you up later."
"No, no, it's fine!" she insisted with a laugh. "Mornings are slow in this area anyway, and I'm not the only one here, so I can take a few minutes to—"
"This better be fucking important!" Katsuki groused as soon as his face appeared on the screen.
"Come on, is that any way to say hello?" Eijiro entered the call in the same instant, laughing, and judging by his background and the slight echo, he was patrolling together with Katsuki.
They were followed in quick succession by Tenya, who seemed to be training on a treadmill, Yuga, who was working on costume repairs, and Denki, who just plain looked like he hadn't gotten out of bed yet. Rody raised an eyebrow at the messy-haired blond.
"Rody-kun, hello!" Tenya said, raising one hand in greeting while letting the other continue pumping by his side as he ran. "How is the wedding planning going?"
"Ooh, yeah, we're really excited for you two, dude!" Eijiro added. "Let us know if there's anything we can help with!"
"Haha, right, actually..." Rody scratched his head awkwardly. "That's... exactly why I'm calling. We've come across a bit of a problem."
Shoto lowered the miso soup he was sipping to look at Rody curiously. "Already?"
"Trouble in paradise?" Yuga put aside the glittery cape he was stitching up and rested his chin on his folded hands, the very picture of intense interest. "Tell me more, mon ami."
"Ah, it's nothing between us or anything," Rody insisted. "We're great. Izuku's just struggling to pick his best man."
"WHY?!" Katsuki yelled, the sound of a small explosion causing his sound to peak. "I'm the obvious choice! Why the fuck would he even consider asking anyo—"
Rody muted Katsuki's feed, though some of his ranting still seeped in through Eijiro's video.
"Yeah, so anyway," Rody said smoothly, "he doesn't wanna offend any of you by choosing one over the others, so I decided I'd just talk to you guys about it myself."
"Wait a sec," Eijiro said, stepping away to put some distance between him and Katsuki. "Does that mean that all of us in this call...?"
"Are the people he's considering to be his best man, yeah."
"Well!" Yuga said, placing a hand on his chest. "The thought alone is flattering enough, even if I'm not chosen!"
"Exactly!" Ochaco chirped. "Deku-kun really doesn't need to worry! Bakugo-kun aside, I don't think any of us will be upset if we're passed over for someone else, if that's what he decides!"
"Speak for yourself, Uraraka!" Denki cut in, putting on an exaggerated pout. "I'd be incredibly hurt! I'd be the best best man!"
Apparently having noticed that no one was hearing him, Bakugo unmuted himself, fuming. "You barely even hung out with him at school, Dunce Face!"
"Actually," Rody raised a hand, "we've already decided that Denki's a little too scatter-brained for the position, so he's out."
Everyone in the call made various sounds of approval, aside from Denki himself, who sputtered as his feigned indignation turned a bit more genuine. "Scatter-brained?! That's so cruel, Rody! Haven't you learned tatemae yet?!"
"Sorry, I don't know Japanese."
"That stopped being a valid excuse for you at least five years ago!"
Rody shrugged, peeking at the other video feeds as he realized that it had suddenly become a two-way conversation. He noted with amusement that all the others had muted themselves to hide their laughter.
"Why did you even include me in the call if I'm not being considered?!"
"Ahh." Rody smirked and tapped the name on Denki's video. "That's the thing: I didn't. I called Hitoshi."
The anger immediately melted from Denki's face, replaced by confusion. His brows furrowed and the video shifted as the Stun Gun Hero seemed to turn the phone in his hands. "Hold on, this phone case..."
"It's mine," came a deep voice from off-screen.
"What?!" Denki directed his gaze to somewhere above and beyond the phone camera. "Why didn't you tell me?!"
"Was wondering how long it would take you to notice. We don't even have the same ringtone, why did you pick it up in the first place?"
The speakers burst with laughter as everyone chose that moment to unmute.
"Dude, Kaminari, I can't believe you just...!" Eijiro gasped between laughs.
Tenya tried to hide his own laughter behind a cough, though the fact that he had needed to stop running to gather himself spoke volumes. "Yes, well... Kaminari-kun, I think we can consider that evidence enough that you're indeed a bit... easily distracted."
"Fine, fine." Denki handed the phone over to Hitoshi, who appeared in frame with a mug of coffee, but the blond-haired hero remained, propping his chin atop his own husband's shoulder with a pout. "I'd still be a good best man, though..."
"You'd be fun," Rody agreed. "There's a bit more to it than just throwing a good party, though."
"Whatever, you're all being morons!" Bakugo yelled. "I'm the only obvious choice, and if you're all too fucking stupid to see that then I'm not having any part in this!" And with that, he left the call.
Rody chuckled awkwardly. "And that's exactly why we're hesitant to make him Izuku's best man..."
"Understandable," Shoto said, and several others nodded in agreement.
Eijiro chuckled. "Heh, he's just... really passionate?" he tried.
"Yeah, but I think they want to avoid having that 'passion' directed at wedding guests," Ochaco pointed out.
"Ooh, wait, listen to this!" Suddenly a grinning, pink face appeared in Ochaco's chat window. "If Midoirya's having trouble picking his own best man, then I've got a pretty banger idea!"
Rody raised his eyebrows, initially surprised to see the acid-wielding hero show up before remembering that Ochaco had mentioned someone else on the same beat. "Whatcha got, Mina?"
She snickered conspiratorially. "Well, let's see... how about we call this plan..."
#No1BestManGeneralElection.
The idea was that if Izuku was having such difficulty choosing who should be the lead public-facing figure of his wedding party, then the best solution would be to let that very public decide who was the best fit.
Rody was hesitant to even consider it at first. "We still haven't decided if we want it to be public knowledge that the wedding is happening in the first place..."
Denki snorted with laughter. "Pretty rich when you put pictures of your engagement rings on your socials the morning after you got engaged!"
"Still haven't completely forgiven you two for that," Eijiro added jokingly." "Super unmanly that that's how we found out, too."
Rody averted his gaze and said nothing. He and Izuku had been a bit too blissfully happy and not entirely thinking things through when they had posted those pictures.
With Mina leading the charge, the group proceeded to flesh out the plan. Candidates could self-nominate on social media, writing personal appeals, attaching eye-catching photos, whatever they saw fit to farm as many likes as possible. Only one post per person would count, using the official hashtag for visibility.
To ensure that best man candidates with larger followings wouldn't have an unfair advantage, Tenya had suggested dividing the number of likes on each nomination post by the number of followers on the account.
"Otherwise Bakugo will sweep the competition," Shoto agreed.
"In that case," Mina mused, fully commandeering Ochaco's phone by this point, "we should limit valid entries to posts with at least... a thousand likes? Or else we'll just get randoms with five followers getting five likes and scoring higher than heroes whose fanbases might not give 100% engagement."
"Wow, Ashido," Eijiro grinned, "I'm surprised you picked up on that so quick."
"Oh, shut it! I don't didn't hear you pointing it out, either!"
"So," Yuga said, cutting off the two friends' banter before it could dominate the call, "when it comes to announcing the results of the voting, what do we have in mind? Might I suggest something flashy and extravagant?"
"Like a livestream event?"
All eyes turned to stare at Shoto, though some were better at hiding their disbelief than others.
"You watch livestreams, Todoroki?" Denki asked.
"Not really? I just see them on the YoTube front page sometimes..."
"Wait, wait, wait," Rody cut in, holding up a hand to silence the others. "The scale's growing a little too big too quickly. We don't even know if Izuku will be okay with this, so let's shelve this for now. I'll talk to him tonight and let you all know what he thinks later."
To be honest, Rody wasn't very optimistic that Izuku would be on board for the whole thing. Maybe some of it, but certainly not all, so bringing the call to a close before the others could raise their expectations too high seemed like the best course of action.
But Izuku's answer, after his initial disapproval of Rody going behind his back, was surprising.
"I don't mind letting the fans get involved, as long as you don't mind either," he said. "If it were a hero I was a fan of, I'd think it was really cool to be involved in their life in some way. The livestream's fine, too, but," his brows pulled together in concern, "are you okay with that? You don't tend to voluntarily put yourself in the public eye that much. You've only been in a few of the photos I've posted, and the fans don't even know your name..."
"Ahh..." Rody averted his eyes as Pino gave an uneasy trill. "Maybe I'll just be the cameraman for that? Something behind the scenes. I don't mind popping into frame once or twice if needed, but it's no place for a plain ol' commoner like me."
"You're not plain at all," Izuku enthused, snuggling close to his fiancé. "But I get it. Keep whatever boundaries you need. On the topic of boundaries, though," he raised a single finger, "I have just one condition if this is going to happen."
"What's that?"
"Veto rights."
"...Ahhh."
QueenPinky✔️
ATTENTION PLEASE!
As I'm sure you've already seen all over the tabloids, social media, or whatever, our Number One hero DekuOfficial is getting married! 💍
Problem is that he's such a precious cinnamon bun that he can't BEAR to choose one of his friends to be his best man! 💕
SO! We're letting anyone who wants to be considered as Deku's best man (or best woman, best nonbinary pal... we're using "best man" as a gender neutral term here!) post their self-nominations to the #No1BestManGeneralElection hashtag and it'll be up to YOU, the fans, to vote for who you think is the best fit! Just find the post by the person YOU want to see as Deku's best man and 👊DETROIT SMASH👊 the like button!
Voting will conclude at 23:59 on the last day of this month!
By the way, feel free to like and share this post for visibility, but as the unbiased judge, I'm technically not in the running. I'll be too busy shredding up the dance floor at the wedding anyway. 💃 But Red Riot BETTER choose me as his best man when he and Dynamight finally get hitched, or so help me...!
Mina didn't run the post by anyone after she got the green light to draft up an announcement. Clearly. Rody had some objections to it—Izuku was far too awesome and manly to be relegated to a mere cinnamon bun, for one thing, and while needling Katsuki and Eijiro (especially Katsuki) was always funny, he couldn't help for but worry for her personal safety now.
Unfortunately, he had been somewhere far above the Pacific Ocean when the post went up, and by the time he was back on solid ground the post had long since gone viral. Oh well. He hoped her acid was strong enough to stave off a Howitzer Impact.
In the meantime, there had been several submissions to the hashtag already. A good number of them were random fans just throwing their hats in for a laugh, but the posts with the most engagement were, naturally, their actual hero friends.
0G_Uravity✔️
Sooooo a little birdie told me that Deku-kun is considering me for his best (wo)man!
While I'm happy for Deku-kun no matter who he chooses, I'd be super pumped if it turned out to be me! We've been great friends ever since our entrance exams at UA and he's done so much for me over the years, I'd love to have the chance to return the favor for him, just a little bit, on his special day.
But, well, enough of the mushy stuff. Vote Uravity for #No1BestManGeneralElection!
ShotoOfficial✔️
I'd like to be Deku's best man.
Thanks.
#No1BestManGeneralElection
Ingenium_Gen2✔️
Hello, everyone!
As you all should know, Deku-kun and I have been very close friends since our days at UA High School!
It would do me no greater honor than to serve as his best man at his wedding!
Of course, please feel free to vote for whomever you feel is the best fit! If you all determine that that person isn't me, then I will gracefully accept the popular decision. However, I only hope that you will give me your consideration!
Thank you!
#No1BestManGeneralElection
CantStopTwinkling✔️
✨✨✨Vos votes, s'il vous plaît✨✨✨
#No1BestManGeneralElection
RealChargebolt✔️
GUYS GUYS GUYS. LISTEN. LISTEN TO THIS.
they said I'm too scatter-brained to be deku's best man.
SCATTER-BRAINED.
CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS.
the only way to prove them wrong is if by showing them JUST how great of a best man I can be and in order to do that I need you to ️VOTE CHARGEBOLT ️ FOR #No1BestManGeneralElection! 👍👍
Denki's post, of course, was promptly flooded with thousands of replies simply reading "scatter-brained." And maybe, just maybe, Rody might have jumped in to chime in with the same.
GEMG_Dynamight✔️
#No1BestManGeneralElection
THE FUCK IS THIS?
You mean to tell me we're deciding Deku's best man by SOCIAL MEDIA LIKES?
THIS IS DUMB, BUT WHATEVER. IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT IT IS, I'M THE ONLY CHOICE FOR THAT DAMN NERD'S BEST MAN AND I'M GOING TO ABSOLUTELY MURDER THE REST OF THE COMPETITION ANYWAY
Katsuki's first post to the hashtag, a day after Mina's announcement had gone up, was accompanied by a somewhat unfocused selfie of him flipping off the camera, and it was gone within five minutes.
His second, finalized post came a few hours later: a professionally-shot photo of an unnaturally serene Dynamight, wearing a crisply pressed tuxedo and holding a bouquet of flowers. The accompanying caption was very obviously penned by his PR team.
GEMG_Dynamight✔️
I'm sure you've all heard by now that Deku, my childhood friend and longtime rival, is getting married.
Nothing would mean more to me than to be chosen as his best man for his special day, so I humbly ask for your support. Please go ahead and 💥blast💥 that like button!
#No1BestManGeneralElection
The very sizable Dynamight fandom, of course, found this to be absolutely hilarious, and, predictably, most comments on the post were just screenshots of the "unacceptable" first post anyway. (The other comments were largely tongue-in-cheek pleas for everyone to "💥blast💥 that like button!") With all the engagement and attention from the PR blunder, Katsuki's post was inundated with even more likes than any of them could have expected.
Rody might have even thought that the explosive hero had planned the entire thing on purpose, if it wasn't so on-brand for how he acted naturally.
In any case, within two days of voting, it was becoming obvious to anyone watching that unless something unexpected happened, Katsuki would be getting exactly what he wanted.
Submissions continued to be posted to the hashtag throughout the voting period, some gaining more traction than others, though it was generally accepted that there was little hope of competing against the juggernaut that was Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight.
RealRedRiot✔️
Hey, I'm getting a lot of questions about this, but sure! I'd be more than happy to ask Pinky to be my best man!
Whenever I do get married and whoever it is I get married to! ️
In the meantime, I'm kind of eyeing that position as Deku's best man, so if you wanna show your support, you know what to do! 👀
#No1BestManGeneralElection
HeadController✔️
Are you going to vote for me, or will I have to make you?
#No1BestManGeneralElection
Rody was surprised to even see one of his closest friends from work joining in.
FO_Hikoji
Hey. See this asshole in the photo? THAT'S the guy who had the absolute gall to ask his brother to be his best man instead of me.
So you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna make myself his groom's best man instead.
Help me on my quest for vengeance by liking this post.
#No1BestManGeneralElection
(I'm kidding, by the way. His brother's a good kid and definitely deserves to be his best man. Not kidding about liking this post, though.)
It was a funny submission, to be sure, but Rody couldn't help but groan when he saw the picture that had been attached. It was a selfie the two of them had taken a couple weeks earlier, very shortly after he and Izuku had proposed, and Rody had been smugly flaunting his ring at every given opportunity. Unfortunately, that meant that, with his friend's arm thrown over his shoulder, the selfie made it look like they were the ones getting married instead.
Fans were quick to notice, using the selfie to produce tons of heart-laden photo edits and getting the #DekusBaeXFirstOfficer hashtag trending for at least half a day, but Rody wasn't about to ask his friend to make the same mistake as the Dynamight PR team.
Besides, he didn't really care what the fans thought. What mattered was what Izuku thought, and, ever the saint, he didn't see the issue.
"I know you're not cheating on me," he said, the corners of his mouth twitching as he tried not to laugh in the face of his fiancé's concerns. "It's a photo of the ring I gave you, after all."
Screw the hashtag, he had half a mind to elope with that man then and there.
The livestream for announcing the results was to be held one week after voting closed. Due to scheduling conflicts, only a handful of heroes could make it for filming, but when the time came Mina, Shoto, Ochaco, Denki, Eijiro, and Katsuki joined Izuku at his agency for the event.
(Katsuki was somewhat of a surprise, but apparently he wanted "to see you losers' faces with my own eyes when you find out I beat you all.")
Rody was initially tasked not only with running the camera but also with keeping an eye on the chat, until he pointed out that he couldn't read Japanese nearly fast enough for that.
"Fiiiiine, I guess we can just leave the chat unmoderated," Mina said with a flippant wave of a hand. "Just take care of the camera, then."
Eijiro laughed nervously. "An unmoderated chat sounds like... not a great idea." He sidled over to the laptop they had set up with the streaming software. "I'll take care of that, I don't mind working behind the scenes. My submission was pretty late so I probably didn't score as high as the rest of you, anyway."
Mina's dark eyes sparkled. "You think so?" She lifted up the gaudy, glitter-filled posterboard which had the results of the election hidden underneath removable strips of tape. "I could tell you a spoiler if you want!"
"No spoilers!" Ochaco cut in, jumping in front of the posterboard. "It'll be better for views if we're all just as surprised as the people watching!"
"Who the fuck cares about views?" Katsuki griped, leaning his head over the back of the couch they were going to be streaming from, looking like he would rather be anywhere else. "Let's just get this over with so we can all go home!"
After some more preparations and finalizing their setup, the clock struck 6 PM and they were officially live.
"Welcome," Mina announced with a great sweep of her arms, "to the results show for the Number One Best Man General Election!"
They all clapped, save for Katsuki, who defiantly kept his hands buried deep in his pockets.
Mina scowled at him. "Well someone's being a sourpuss as always!"
"Just announce me as the winner and be done with it!"
"Oh, no no no, my dear Dynamight," she said, wagging a finger. "This is a livestream event! We have to build up to the reveal, you know? Or else our fans will be so dissatisfied, you know? We haven't even done our self-introductions yet!"
"They all know who we are already!"
Mina tapped her chin, looking at the collection of top heroes they had spread across the couch. "Well, yes... I guess I would be surprised if anyone watching this didn't know all of you." Her eyes raked over to the two men parked out of frame. "Oh yeah, our viewers can't see him, but we have Red Riot here too! He's taking care of chat, so you all better behave!"
Eijiro activated his quirk on his hand, then leaned over to wave it in front of the camera. "Hey, all!"
"And behind the camera..."
"Ahh, Ashi— Pinky-san...!" Izuku said, waving his hands as Rody desperately made a cutting motion across his neck.
Not my name!
"...we have Deku's fiancé! Or 'Deku's Bae,' is that what you all have been calling him?" She snickered behind her hand. "Why don't you come out here for a sec and say hi?"
"What kind of cameraman would I be if I did that?" Rody answered smoothly.
Mina planted her hands on her hips, grinning. "Oh? Well at this rate I think the viewers might doubt that we really have Deku's fiancé in the studio here. Why don't you at least come out here and give your sweetie a kiss?"
Rody choked on air as Izuku made an uncomfortable sound, but it was drowned out by Ochaco's scandalized gasp and Denki's wolf whistle.
Clearing his throat, Rody tried to bring common sense back to the stream. "I thought the Japanese weren't about public displays of affection."
"Oh, it's just a little kiss!"
"Yeah, actually, dude," Eijiro piped up, pointing towards the laptop screen, "the chat's going crazy now, demanding to see a kiss."
Rody glanced over at Izuku, who was turning quite red, and sighed. "I'll just show my face for a second, is that okay?"
"The people want a kiss," Mina said with finality.
"Chat won't shut up about a kiss."
"Just kiss him, man!" Denki added.
Conceding defeat, Rody dragged his feet to bring himself into frame, walking behind the couch and past a glowering Katsuki to stand behind Izuku. Very conscious of the fact that he was suddenly staring at the opposite side of the camera, he gave a hesitant wave with his left hand, making sure his ring was visible. "Uh, hello, hero fans," he said awkwardly.
Mina shot him a firm stare, eyes nearly manic. "The ring's nice and all, but it's not a kiss."
With a wry chuckle, followed by a sigh, Rody put his hands on Izuku's shoulders. Before the hero had a chance to react, Rody stooped down and placed a chaste kiss atop his green curls, then stood back up and dashed out of frame. "Okay, that's all, have a good stream!" he called lightly, but he couldn't be sure if the microphone would pick it up over the cooing and wolf whistling (Denki, again).
"Oh my gosh, Deku-kun!" Ochaco laughed, trying to gently urge his hands away from his face. "Why are you so red? I'm sure that's nothing at this point!"
"It's been a while since he was that gentle," Izuku muttered, before realizing what he said and looking up in a panic. "No, wait, that's not what I— I just meant that— That's not usually where he—!"
As raucous laughter filled the room, Rody was immensely grateful he had made it back behind the camera before that particular Freudian slip was dropped.
"Enough! I'm getting sick of this!" Katsuki yelled, reaching behind the couch and pulling out the hidden posterboard with complete lack of fanfare. "Just announce the results and be done with it!"
"Jeez!" Mina griped, snatching the posterboard from the Number Two's hands with a pout. "Way to ruin the surprise! But anyway, yeah, ta-da!" She held the poster in front of the camera, suddenly reminding Rody that he had a job to do, and he checked to make sure that it was all in frame and properly focused. "I have the results that you've all been waiting for right here! This poster was a special commission piece by Can't Stop Twinkling—but don't worry! I put the top fifteen on here after he was done, so nobody knows who they are but me!" She grinned. "Everyone else, including you viewers, are about to find out for the very first time!
"So, let me explain. You all voted on who you thought would be the best best man for Deku, but it's not just the number of likes that matters! I mentioned this in a follow-up post after the announcement, but just in case anyone didn't see that I'll explain. We've assigned a score to each entrant using a sophisticated and complicated formula to—"
"It's just elementary school arithmetic."
"Shut it, mister fancy pilot man! Anyway, the scores you're gonna see aren't actually the number of likes that each post got, so just keep that in mind! Now, let's reveal eleventh through fifteenth place in one fell swoop—" She promptly tore the bottom five strips of tape off the board. "Fifteenth place, with 0.87 points, is Creati! Fourtheenth, 0.93 points, Tsukuyomi! Thirteenth is Can't Stop Twinkling with 1.02 points, twelfth is Froppy with 1.11 points, and eleventh is Chargebolt with 1.20!"
"What?!" Denki jumped up from the couch, his expression indignant. "I'm out of the running already?! But my post got so much engagement!"
"I think the engagement wasn't so much likes as it was people calling you scatter-brained."
"That hurts, Shoto! I know it's the truth, but it still hurts!"
"So anyway," Mina said, clamping a hand on Denki's shoulder and forcing him to sit back down, "let's continue on to our top ten! In tenth place, we have..." She paused to tear off the piece of tape. "Following right behind his husband, it's Head Controller with 1.38 points!"
"Too bad he can't brainwash over social media, huh!" Eijiro called out.
Ochaco chuckled. "I think it would be grounds for disqualification if he could."
"Speaking of which, have we mentioned that I have veto rights or—"
"Let's not talk about boring stuff!" Mina interrupted, tearing off the next strip of tape. "In ninth place is Red Riot with 1.63 points! See Red, you didn't do too bad! Top ten!"
"Thanks for all the likes, guys!" Eijiro called towards the microphone, grinning.
"Now chugging right along, in eighth place isssss... Lemillion, with 2.08 points! Followed by seventh place, Uravity with 2.47 points!"
"Ahh, seventh place, huh?" Ochaco laughed bashfully, rubbing the back of her head with a blush. "I guess that's pretty good, though, considering all of who I was up against...!"
Izuku turned an encouraging smile towards his friend. "Top ten is definitely impressive, Uravity-san!"
"Thanks, Deku-kun!"
"Okay, quit that, you two, before mister pilot man gets jealous." Mina grinned and revealed the next name. "Sixth place, with 3.02 points, is Sora Hikoji!"
"Who the hell is that?!" Bakugo demanded.
Rody raised a hand. "Friend from my workplace."
"Ooh, speaking of jealousy! That's the guy from the new ship, right?" Denki said with a smirk.
Izuku shook his head, flustered. "No, there's no jealousy, I—"
"A ship? I thought that picture was taken on a plane?"
Izuku's face was turning ever redder. "Shoto-kun, that's not—"
"Can we get off this topic please?" Rody asked, trying to keep his face neutral but fully aware that Pino was hiding in embarrassment.
"Fine, fine." Mina gave an exaggerated shrug before removing the next strip of tape. "In fifth place with 3.08 points is Tailman!"
"Tailman?" Ochaco's eyes widened. "Really?"
"I know, I was shocked too! I guess his follower count is so ordinary that when he gets an unordinary amount of likes, he kind of stands out..."
"Uh, ladies?" Eijiro waved for their attention. "He's in the chat, you know."
Mina waved a dismissive hand. "It's nothing he hasn't heard before! So next up, in fourth place, we have Ingenium with 3.22 points!"
"Yeah, I guess we're getting into fairly predictable territory, here," Denki commented, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.
"True. We just have the top three left, so I don't think anyone will be surprised that it's... wait..." Ochaco's brows furrowed as she counted on her fingers. "Hold on... huh?"
"Third place, with 3.81 points... is Shoto!"
Shoto slinked silently before bowing towards the camera. "Thanks for all the support."
"And in second place..." Rody noticed Mina hesitate for just a moment, slender pink fingers twitching, before she removed the strip of tape. "...with an impressive 5.37 points, it's Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight!"
"WHAT?!" Katsuki leaped from the couch, sparks flying from his palms, and Izuku quickly stood up as well in order to hold him back. "I'm second place?! Who the fuck beat me?!"
"Kacchan, calm dow—"
"NOT POSSIBLE! You miscalculated, Raccoon Eyes! Why the FUCK did we ever let her do math?!"
"Kacchan, please, just sit back down...!"
"A-and finally, we've come to the first place winner," Mina said, obviously trying hard to mask her nervousness with excitement. "This is what you've all been waiting for, folks! In first place..." She squeezed her eyes shut and tore off the final strip. "With a mindblowing 12,651.94 points is Shoma from Gifu!"
Silence fell upon the room. The chat, in the corner of Rody's eye, was a lightspeed-fast flurry of excitement, but at the Deku Hero Agency the only sound was a confused coo from Pino. Finally, all except the event's MC had only one word to utter.
"Who?"
Shoma Suzuki, age 14. He was a quirkless boy living in the countryside of Gifu prefecture, and a fan of the hero Deku.
Like countless other fans, he had apparently joined in as a joke. His submission hadn't been anything extraordinary, just the hashtag accompanied by a poorly-lit selfie of himself wearing a Deku hoodie.
Yet the internet, being the internet, had for whatever reason decided to throw its full support behind this random kid and boosted him to virality. At the time that Mina did the calculations, his account had 1025 followers (and likely would have amassed more if not for the internet hivemind deciding to hold back for the sake of his winning odds), but prior to his submission he had had fewer than twenty.
In retrospect, Rody had seen the hashtag #ShomaFromGifu in the trending topics a few times, but he had no idea, had no reason to even fathom that it had anything to do with the best man elections.
"What do I do?" Izuku groaned, his face buried in his hands, immediately after the livestream concluded. "I can't just let some random kid be my best man..."
Rody walked over to the couch, sitting down next to his fiancé when Ochaco relinquished her seat. "Hey, don't worry about it," he said, wrapping an arm around Izuku's broad shoulders. "That's why you asked for veto rights, remember?"
"Just forget the kid!" Bakugo said, slamming a fist into the opposite palm. "I was the highest-scoring genuine entrant, so make me best man and to hell with the rest!"
Eijiro walked over as well. "If it's Katsuki's temperament you're worried about, I'll be sure to keep him in line during the wedding."
"The fuck does that mean?!"
Izuku shook his head. "It's not even any of that! The problem is that Shoma-kun was declared the winner, so he'll be so disappointed when I choose someone else!"
"You really do worry a little too much sometimes, Deku-kun," Ochaco commented as she scrolled through her phone. "I'm looking at his page now and... whoa, eight thousand followers already?! Anyway, he seems like a sweet kid who really didn't expect to win. Look." She handed her phone over to Izuku, smiling. "He actually just posted about how he doesn't even know what a best man is supposed to do, and he's all worried because he can't afford to take a shinkansen out here in the first place."
Izuku's eyes scanned the phone screen, and he frowned, creases forming between his eyebrows and mouth pursing in the way that Rody knew meant he was trying not to mutter.
"You know what?" the Number One hero finally said. "I think I have an idea."
In the end, Izuku chose Katsuki to be his best man after all.
And Shoma Suzuki from Gifu prefecture was also sent a hand-written invitation, complete with air travel vouchers courtesy of one Rody Soul and all other expenses covered personally by one Izuku Midoriya.
Notes: "Tatemae," mentioned by Kaminari, is basically the façade of proper politeness that Japanese society expects you to put up instead of saying whatever things you feel as an individual haha. It can be hard for expats from individualistic Western cultures to get the hang of, and I have some European friends here who just don't even try to conform lmao.
Aoyama's French is probably horrendous because I used google translate but he's just a jokey stereotype to begin with so I figure it's on brand.
I personally hope Todoroki chooses a different hero name when he's older but, alas, until I hear otherwise I'm going with Shoto. Also I gave Shinso the hero name "Head Controller" because I was shooting for something that sounded Horikoshi-ish (ie. maybe a little bit dumb) while also incorporating part of "Eraser Head" haha.
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