20. The Dementor's Kiss
A Reason To Fight
Harry had never been part of a stranger group. Crookshanks led the way down the stairs; Lupin, Pettigrew, and Ron went next, looking like entrants in a six-legged race. Next came Professor Snape, drifting creepily along, his toes hitting each stair as they descended, held up by his own wand, which was being pointed at him by Sirius. Harry and Hermione followed, and Emma brought up the rear, with September coiled around her shoulders.
Getting back into the tunnel was difficult. Lupin, Pettigrew, and Ron had to turn sideways to manage it; Lupin still had Pettigrew covered with his wand. Harry could see them edging awkwardly along the tunnel in single file. Crookshanks was still in the lead. Harry went right after Black, who was still making Snape drift along ahead of them; he kept bumping his lolling head on the low ceiling. Harry had the impression Black was making no effort to prevent this.
They did not speak until they had reached the end of the tunnel. Crookshanks darted up first; he had evidently pressed his paw to the knot on the trunk, because Lupin, Pettigrew, and Ron clambered upward without any sound of savaging branches.
Black saw Snape up through the hole, then stood back for Harry and Hermione to pass. He reached out a hand to help Emma. At last, all of them were out.
The grounds were very dark now; the only light came from the distant windows of the castle. Without a word, they set off. Pettigrew was still wheezing and occasionally whimpering.
"One wrong move, Peter," said Lupin threateningly ahead. His wand was still pointed sideways at Pettigrew's chest.
"Ron, are you okay?" Harry heard Hermione ask, as Ron seemed to sink to the ground. "Umm, Emma, can you ... please . . . ?"
For awhile, the only sound was Emma's humming from nearby as she checked on Ron's injury.
Harry found himself standing next to Black, on the small crest looking towards Hogwarts castle.
"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Black said presently. "I'll never forget the first time I walked through those doors. It'll be nice to do it again as a free man." He seemed to be debating whether or not to say something. "Also - I don't know if anyone ever told you - I'm your godfather. "
"Yeah, I knew that," said Harry.
"Well. . . your parents appointed us your guardians," said Black stiffly. "If anything happened to them. . . "
Harry waited. Did Black mean what he thought he meant?
"I'll understand, of course, if you want to stay with your aunt and uncle," said Black. "They can't still be that bad..." He muttered, and then coughed slightly. "But. . . well. . . think about it. Once my name's cleared. . . if you wanted a. . . a different home. . . "
Some sort of explosion took place in the pit of Harry's stomach.
"What - live with you?" he said, turning to look at Black. "Leave the Dursleys?"
"Of course, I thought you wouldn't want to," said Black quickly. "I understand, I just thought I'd -"
"Are you insane?" said Harry, his voice easily as croaky as Black's. "Of course I want to leave the Dursleys! Have you got a house? When can I move in?" He then realised what Black had originally said. "Wait..."
And, as if sensing the conversation, Emma looked up just as both Harry and Black looked at her. Harry watched as she locked gazes with Black, before turning to say something to Lupin, who Harry realised hadn't left her side since they'd exited the tunnel despite him still being bound to Pettigrew.
"Well, Emma was like a sister to both your mum and dad..." Black stated. "So they named her your godmother..." He trailed off as she approached them.
Standing facing them now, her face was calm, but there was a certain troubled look in her eyes. Harry could scarcely believe that she was the mother of Lillica and Teddy Black...that she was his godmother.
Up close, he could really recognise her from the picture of his mum and dad's wedding. She'd been the maid-of-honour, who'd also given Lily Evans away to James Potter. She'd been right here, all this time...
So...why hadn't she been there before?
His godmother had been checking the pocket watch that hung from a chain around her neck; now she replaced it underneath of her robes and retrieved a small piece of parchment instead.
"Do you remember when this photo was taken, Padfoot?" She asked, handing it to him.
Black looked at it. The corners of his lips tugged upwards in an almost-smile. "Like it was yesterday...show Harry," he suggested, handing the photograph back to Emma, who held it out to Harry.
"This was our very first meeting," she explained to him.
The photograph showed a younger version of Harry's godparents. In contrast to the prison-ravaged man standing next to Harry now, this younger Sirius Black was carefree; he was lounging casually in the picture and, when he wasn't smirking up at the current Harry, he was gazing almost tenderly at the two figures next to him.
Looking scarcely older than she had in the photograph of her best friends' wedding, the picture of Harry's godmother was also wearing an almost reverent look, as she gazed down at the baby boy in her arms. Harry knew from the infant's green eyes that it was him as a baby, probably not much older than a few months.
"On that day," Emma was saying, although Harry wasn't entirely sure if she was talking to him or to Black. "Lily seemed to notice how comfortable I was...she asked me if I had done this before..." She gestured to the picture as the younger version of herself in it held up the baby Harry, who laughed silently.
"I remember that, too," Black said. "You tensed right up before saying something about 'natural intuition'...guess now we know why..." He shook his head.
"Mmhmm..." Emma muttered. "The girls were born at the end of February...actually, they're leap year babies," she laughed softly, hollowly, before she sighed. "There was a lot going on in my life at that point...and, the fact that I felt I couldn't tell my best friends about it just goes to show that I really lost sight of why we were fighting that war in the first place..." She smiled ruefully. "Honestly, I believe that I didn't figure it out until I was standing with you two just under a year later, trying to force myself to do what needed to be done..."
Harry looked at her; she was looking at him. He saw himself reflected in her hazel eyes, which had suddenly gone bright. "I know how much you've suffered all alone for these years, Harry...I...I'm sorry that I couldn't be there for you more, but..." She bit her lip and looked away. "I've been there..."
Harry didn't know what to say, and so he just held the photograph back out to her, but she shook her head. A few tears flew from her eyes, looking like tiny snowflakes in the darkness.
"Keep it," she told him, pushing the photograph back to him, but keeping her right hand over his; Harry noticed the scars that seemed like writing on the back of her hand, as well as the ring on her fourth finger, again. "I had a few copies made, but I want you to have this one...it's the original, so don't lose it. Harry...you are our godson," she looked right into his eyes then, as Black put a tentative hand on her shoulder. "But...you are also...one of the reasons that we'll keep on fighting..." She swallowed; her face was very pale all of a sudden.
Harry didn't trust himself to speak, and so he just nodded as he put the photograph away in his jeans pocket. He noticed that Black's eyes were also very bright, and that his godfather was continuing to stare at Emma like he never wanted to look away from her ever again. It made Harry wonder again what had gone on between them all those years ago...
Was Sirius Black somehow related to Lillica and Teddy after all? Harry got the feeling that there was something that his godmother wasn't telling him...
Harry took a deep breath, and was suddenly aware of the strong scent of peppermint. It was familiar.
For some reason, all three of them happened to look down just then, as September slithered up to them.
Harry blinked. He had almost forgotten that she was with them.
Teddy's pet snake raised herself up to her full height, and hissed in words that only Harry and Emma could understand: "I am really sssorry about thisss..." And, she did sound sorry, which reminded Harry once again what an unusual snake this was. "But...tonight'sss a full moon..." The cobra trailed off, just as the moon came out from behind the cloud cover, bathing them all in its silvery white light.
Harry watched his godmother swing her head around, her hazel eyes widening as she fixed her suddenly horrified gaze on Lupin.
"Remus..." She whispered. Her voice went up. "Remus, the moon — !"
Harry could see Lupin's silhouette. He had gone rigid. Then his limbs began to shake.
"Oh, my -" Hermione gasped. "He didn't take his potion tonight! He's not safe!"
"Run," Black whispered, but they all heard him. "Run. Now."
But Harry couldn't run. Ron was chained to Pettigrew and Lupin. He leapt forward but Black caught him around the chest and threw him back.
"Leave it to me - RUN!"
There was a terrible snarling noise. Lupin's head was lengthening. So was his body. His shoulders were hunching. Hair was sprouting visibly on his face and hands, which were curling into clawed paws.
Crookshanks's hair was on end again; he was backing away -
As the werewolf reared, snapping its long jaws, Black disappeared from Harry's side. He had transformed. The enormous, bearlike dog bounded forward. As the werewolf wrenched itself free of the manacle binding it, the dog seized it about the neck and pulled it backward, away from Ron and Pettigrew. They were locked, jaw to jaw, claws ripping at each other.
Harry stood, transfixed by the sight, too intent upon the battle to notice anything else. It was Hermione's scream that alerted him -
Pettigrew had dived for Lupin's dropped wand. Ron, unsteady on his bandaged leg, fell. There was a bang, a burst of light - and Ron lay motionless on the ground. Another bang - Crookshanks flew into the air and back to the earth in a heap.
"Expelliarmus. " Harry yelled, pointing his own wand at Pettigrew; Lupin's wand flew high into the air and out of sight. "Stay where you are!" Harry shouted, running forward.
Where was his godmother? She had been standing right next to him before Black had transformed... where was she? Why wasn't she...?
Too late. Pettigrew had transformed. Harry saw his bald tail whip through the manacle on Ron's outstretched arm and heard a scurrying through the grass.
There was a howl and a rumbling growl; Harry turned to see the werewolf advancing on him.
Black was bleeding; there were gashes across his muzzle and back...
Just then, a different kind of howl pierced the air, carrying across the scene of chaos. Everyone froze, including the werewolf. Its ears pricked up, and then it turned its head in the direction of the sound.
Harry looked as well, and saw a similar creature standing atop a small rocky tor. This wolf was smaller than the werewolf, however; it was even smaller than Black's dog form. Its white fur was practically luminescent in the night, as it howled the most beautiful - and the most haunting - sound that Harry had ever heard...and, Harry realised with a start, the howls sounded almost exactly like the same song that Emma had been humming before...
"Whitefang..." Harry realised, as the wolf turned its head towards him and, for a moment, its yellow eyes pierced into Harry. He had seen those yellow eyes somewhere before...back when he'd been little...what everyone in Privet Drive had thought was a stray dog all those years ago...
Harry recalled his godmother's words: 'I've been there...'
Harry jumped as the werewolf dashed past him towards the tor, which the white wolf now descended swiftly before heading off into the night...leading the werewolf away from them, into the trees...
"Harry!" He thought that he heard September hiss.
He was suddenly brought back to reality.
"Sirius, he's gone, Pettigrew transformed!" Harry yelled.
Black was still bleeding, but, at Harry's words he scrambled up again, and in an instant, the sound of his paws faded to silence as he pounded away across the grounds.
Harry and Hermione dashed over to Ron.
"What did he do to him?" Hermione whispered. Ron's eyes were only half-closed, his mouth hung open; he was definitely alive, they could hear him breathing, but he didn't seem to recognize them.
"I don't know..."
September slithered onto Ron's chest, somehow managing to look worried.
Harry looked desperately around. Emma, Black, and Lupin were gone... they had no one but Snape for company, still hanging, unconscious, in midair.
"We'd better get them up to the castle and tell someone," said Harry, pushing his hair out of his eyes, trying to think straight. "Come -"
But then, from beyond the range of their vision, they heard a yelping, a whining: a dog in pain...
"Sirius," Harry muttered, staring into the darkness.
He had a moment's indecision, but there was nothing they could do for Ron at the moment - September would stay with him - and, by the sound of it, Black was in trouble -
Harry set off at a run, Hermione right behind him. The yelping seemed to be coming from the ground near the edge of the lake. They pelted toward it, and Harry, running flat out, felt the cold without realizing what it must mean -
The yelping stopped abruptly. As they reached the lakeshore, they saw why - Sirius had turned back into a man. He was crouched on all fours, his hands over his head.
"Nooo," he moaned. "Nooo... please..."
And then Harry saw them. Dementors, at least a hundred of them, gliding in a black mass around the lake toward them. He spun around, the familiar, icy cold penetrating his insides, fog starting to obscure his vision; more were appearing out of the darkness on every side; they were encircling them...
"Hermione, think of something happy!" Harry yelled, raising his wand, blinking furiously to try and clear his vision, shaking his head to rid it of the faint screaming that had started inside it -
I'm going to live with my godparents. I'm leaving the Dursleys.
He forced himself to think of Emma and Black, and only of them, and began to chant: "Expecto patronum! Expecto patronum!"
Black gave a shudder, rolled over, and lay motionless on the ground, pale as death.
He'll be all right. I'm going to go and live with him and Emma and the twins.
"Expecto patronum! Hermione, help me! Expecto patronum!"
"Expecto -" Hermione whispered, "expecto - expecto -"
But she couldn't do it. The Dementors were closing in, barely ten feet from them. They formed a solid wall around Harry and Hermione, and were getting closer...
"EXPECTO PATRONUM!" Harry yelled, trying to blot the screaming from his ears. "EXPECTO PATRONUM!"
A thin wisp of silver escaped his wand and hovered like mist before him. At the same moment, Harry felt Hermione collapse next to him. He was alone... completely alone...
"Expecto - expecto patronum -"
Harry felt his knees hit the cold grass. Fog was clouding his eyes. With a huge effort, he fought to remember - Sirius was innocent - innocent - We'll be okay - I'm going to live with him -
"Expecto patronum!" he gasped.
By the feeble light of his formless Patronus, he saw a Dementor halt, very close to him. It couldn't walk through the cloud of silver mist Harry had conjured. A dead, slimy hand slid out from under the cloak. It made a gesture as though to sweep the Patronus aside.
"No - no -" Harry gasped. "He's innocent... expecto expecto patronum -"
He could feet them watching him, hear their rattling breath like an evil wind around him. The nearest Dementor seemed to be considering him. Then it raised both its rotting hands - and lowered its hood.
Where there should have been eyes, there was only thin, gray scabbed skin, stretched blankly over empty sockets. But there was a mouth... a gaping, shapeless hole, sucking the air with the sound of a death rattle.
A paralyzing terror filled Harry so that he couldn't move or speak. His Patronus flickered and died.
White fog was blinding him. He had to fight... expecto patronum... he couldn't see... and in the distance, he heard the familiar screaming... expecto patronum... he groped in the mist for Black, and found his arm... they weren't going to take him...
But a pair of strong, clammy hands suddenly attached themselves around Harry's neck. They were forcing his face upward... He could feel its breath... It was going to get rid of him first... He could feel its putrid breath... His mother was screaming in his ears... She was going to be the last thing he ever heard -
And then, through the fog that was drowning him, he thought he saw a silvery light growing brighter and brighter... He felt himself fall forward onto the grass... Facedown, too weak to move, sick and shaking, Harry opened his eyes. The Dementor must have released him. The blinding light was illuminating the grass around him...The screaming had stopped, the cold was ebbing away...
Something was driving the Dementors back... It was circling around him and Black and Hermione... They were leaving...
The air was warm again...
With every ounce of strength he could muster, Harry raised his head a few inches and saw an animal amid the light, galloping away across the lake... Eyes blurred with sweat, Harry tried to make out what it was... It was as bright as a unicorn... Fighting to stay conscious, Harry watched it can'ter to a halt as it reached the opposite shore. For a moment, Harry saw, by its brightness, somebody welcoming it back... raising his hand to pat it... someone who looked strangely familiar... but it couldn't be...
Harry didn't understand. He couldn't think anymore. He felt the last of his strength leave him, and his head hit the ground as he fainted.
