CHAPTER 5

Namida Janai

Uranohoshi High School,
Numazu, Shizuoka Prefecture,
February 10

The typical afterschool activities for Ruby, Yoshiko, and Hanamaru didn't fall too far from Aqours affairs. They had different roles in the group: Ruby shared costume supervision duty with You, Hanamaru was the coordinator for logistics, and Yoshiko was responsible for the vlogs. Yet they lightened each other's responsibility. Sometimes Hanamaru made a suggestion about costumes that Ruby ended up using in her design, sometimes Yoshiko found a good eatery for the rest of Aqours, and sometimes Ruby shared ideas about places and backgrounds to use in their music videos.

When Hanamaru stopped hanging out with Ruby and Yoshiko, the synergy was broken. She still attended Aqours practices but immediately left shortly after. And because of that, their synchronization began to deteriorate. They functioned like a car with one cylinder not firing. The rest of Aqours raised concern, but Hanamaru insisted that she was fine.

Ruby and Yoshiko tried to make contact with Hanamaru through text, which failed miserably because she didn't use technology as much as typical teenagers. They realized that they had to confront her face to face. And the easiest way to find Hanamaru was in the Marusan Bookstore.

"Zuramaru, why don't you hang out with us anymore?" Yoshiko said as she intercepted Hanamaru going into the romance section of the bookstore. "Is everything alright?"

"Uhm… yes, zura, I'm alright," Hanamaru replied sheepishly. "I'm just… I have a lot of homework, zura. And also I have to study for exam, zura."

Ruby took a quick look at the book Hanamaru was holding, Boku no Hatsukoi o Kimi ni Sasagu, possibly to be read in the dark section of the bookstore or to be purchased and read alone in her house. She knew it was not Hanamaru's favorite genre to read, so she knew something was wrong.

"Maru-chan, we are your friends. You don't have to hide things from us," Ruby said gently. "We know something is bothering you, and we want to help. Tell us what's going on."

"Thank you, Ruby-chan, but I'm alright, zura," Hanamaru was still in denial. "I just want to be alone at the moment, zura,"

She tried to escape, but Yoshiko cut her off. "Zuramaru, don't do it yourself. We can share your burden. Ruby and I may not offer the perfect solution to your problem, but at least we can offer you our shoulders."

Hanamaru leaned on the book shelf hugging the book. She stared at the floor for a while, avoiding eye contact with her friends. Then the first word slipped out of her mouth, "Soma…" And then for the next 5 minutes, she divulged everything, starting from their meeting at UA High School Cultural Festival, to their many nights of culinary conversation, to her stellar performance at the cruise ship that he watched, to the budding chemistry that she thought could end up in something beautiful between them, to the faithful phone call where another girl named 'Megumi' picked up his phone.

"It's all my fault zura, I didn't think I was ready, but I guess I was jealous of what Chika, You, and Riko have zura," Hanamaru said with trembling voice. "Everything with Soma seemed perfect zura, so I just go with it zura."

"Oh dear, Maru-chan, I am so sorry," Ruby gave Hanamaru a warm embrace. "I know it hurts. But we are here for you. We're here to share the hurt so it doesn't hurt too much."

"I don't blame you for trying," Yoshiko added. "We don't know what the future brings, so we can just try our best for the situation. It's not your fault that your guy turns out to be a douchebag." She flipped her personality switch. "The Fallen Angel Yohane will curse him as long as he lives and spit on his grave whenever the time comes!"

"I am sorry for brushing you off zura," Hanamaru sniffled. "I don't know how to deal with this zura…"

"I know how to deal with this," Ruby grabbed Hanamaru's hand and gently towed her out of the aisle. "Ice cream. Trust me, ice cream will cure all ills, especially the feelings of being refused and abandoned. When Dia onee-chan has problem with boys, she eats ice cream."

"Dia-san zura?" Hanamaru cocked her brows.

"Yes, I'll tell you about it later," Ruby led Hanamaru out of the bookstore, with Yoshiko following suit. "Right now we'll go to Sun! Sun! Sunshine! Café. They have specialty ice cream today."

"If that's not to your liking, there's one near Awashime Shrine," Yoshiko added. "After that we can visit the shrine to cast curse on the boy that breaks your heart."

"No curse necessary zura," Hanamaru forced a smile. "Thank you, I'm glad to have friends like you zura."

The three walked shoulder to shoulder out of the bookstore, then caught a bus to the café.


Chika massaged her bridge as she listened to Dia rambling about Hanamaru's situation. You sat next to her, looking at Dia with her round blue eyes. Riko sat behind them in the next row, trying to find the best solution for this problem.

"This happens at the worst possible time," Chika mumbled to herself. "We can't lose Hanamaru in the composition!"

"This is the reason I don't support our members going out with boys!" Dia ranted. "Dating is toxic to musical achievements! I know, because I have been there before! Now Maru-chan can't focus, so we have to alter our compositions to cover some of the losses!"

"Well maybe because Maru-chan hasn't found the right person yet!" You retorted.

"Buu buu desuwa! I don't care if it's the right person or not, this is not helping our goal to win Love Live Finals! It is distracting and counterproductive! Maru-chan is supposed to focus on memorizing lyrics, synchronizing dance moves, and tune her voice! Instead she is trying to adopt a relationship with a boy like Chika, You, and Riko!"

"Me?! I don't have anything!" Riko shot up from her chair. Her face turned red.

"Your room is so full of goodies that you can barely fit in it," Kanan said.

"That is not a relationship! That is obsession! I have no control over it!" Riko snapped.

"At least you get to pick who to like and who not to like," Mari tuned in with a hint of sadness in her voice. "Some people do not have that luxury."

"Alright, alright, let's turn attention to more pressing matter," Chika tried to take control of the situation. "Maru-chan is a grown up. She has her own life, her own preference. She can have a crush on anybody she wants. Perhaps it's just a bad timing."

"I don't mean to sound snobbish or something," Dia mellowed out. "It's just… we're so close to Love Live Finals. We have worked so hard for so long, we shed sweat and tears to get to where we are now, and now our hard work is threatened by something petty like dating."

"You can't control somebody's heart, Dia," Kanan chimed in. "What happens, happens. It doesn't matter. What matter is that now Maru-chan is depressed enough. Are we going to add to that burden, or are we going to be her friends and help her?"

"We're going to be her friends," You stated the obvious. "Perhaps we can skip Mitaiken Horizon to get the pressure off her."

"That's uh, that's a good idea," Chika nodded her approval. "It sucks we just get to sing 2 songs, but let's keep Maru-chan healthy by not putting her on the spotlight when she doesn't feel like it." She took a brief pause before continuing, "I'll tell Ayumu-san that we'll scratch Mitaiken Horizon from our play list."

"Alright, let's forget Mitaiken Horizon," Riko sat back and buried her face in her palm. "What else can we do to help her? I can give her some of the chocolates from Yoarashi-san."

"Don't give her too much sweet, it'll make her sick," Chika suggested. "Just be her friends. Offer help, but give her space if she needs it."

"Alright, fine," Kanan and Mari walked out of the room. "We'll find some books to occupy her mind."

"I'll go buy some anko," Dia followed the other two 3rd year girls.

"I'll get some chocolates," Riko left not long after the 3rd year girls.

Chika and You didn't move from their seats. They sat still for quite some time, wondering what they could do more to deal with the situation.

"What do you think?" You finally spoke.

"We'll get this," Chika replied with a hint of uncertainty in her tone. "It's a minor setback, but we'll get through this." She looked at You, as if asking for approval. "Wont' we?"

"That, we will," You squeezed Chika's shoulder. "We always do."


Translation

Boku no Hatsukoi o Kimi ni Sasagu: I Give My First Love to You. A sad Japanese love story.
onee-chan: sister
Buu buu desuwa: the sound of buzzer when the answer is wrong in a game show. Dia's catchphrase.