Disclaimer: I don't own twilight
The summer harvest party consisted of far too much sugar, streamers of varying colors, paper masks glued with strings in the back, and the banner I hung in the front. Kids were sitting around, tired from the excitement of the initial party and settling into the calm.
Carlisle was across the room, talking to one of the parents, he looked so official in his white coat and clipboard in hand. I smiled slightly before ducking my eyes downward, it wouldn't do any good. I couldn't avoid him, I had already done that before and it was childish, absolutely childish. But wasn't just waiting around and pining for someone just as useless.
In a situation of fight or flight, I'd always choose flight but this time I didn't run, I stayed put. I stayed and I continued to smile at him, continued talking lightly with him when we saw each other around. It was torture. Before I could pretend-pretend that I didn't like him and avoid it at all costs but now it was so forcefully present in my mind. I couldn't think of any excuses not to just adore him.
I didn't want to be one of those girls, one of the girls just waiting for him to glance in their direction but I was and it took every logical part of my brain not to just run from that feeling. It was different, wasn't it? I mean with those other girls he didn't smile like he did when he and I talked, right? Or maybe I just wasn't around when he did. He did say I was his only friend once, emphasis on friend. But we were dancing in his kitchen at the graduation party and it felt like I would explode, his hands were so cold but they sent sparks over my skin.
I twirled the engraved pen between my fingers, everything was confusing. I didn't want to be overly presumptuous but I didn't want to be blind to the things that he did do for me and with me.
Ugh, I shook my head, I wasn't going to become one of those girls who went moony over a boy. I glanced up again at Carlisle and this time he turned his head, giving me a small smile before returning to his conversation with the other adult. I felt my cheeks go a little pinker and I shook my head again. Okay, maybe I was one of those girls who went absolutely moony.
I returned back to cleaning up the remnants of the mess, helping some of the others with white trash bags. The small party had settled down more and the kids were back to their rooms after an hour or so more, some of them going to each other rooms, while others had their families keeping them company.
The group of volunteers had decided to go out for dinner afterwards, something I had invited Carlisle to but he had declined, saying he still had a few things to wrap up. The dinner had gone well, Mr. Williams had far too much to drink at the small restaurant and Mr. Vanders had taken him home to his wife at the end of the night. That was about as wild as the group of us got. I had stuck with a glass of apple juice alongside my dinner.
I got home only to flop myself on my bed, I still had to shower. I showered quickly, washing out much of the glitter out of my hair and into the drain, changing into a night shirt and shorts before going back to bed and curling up underneath the covers. I stared at the ceiling fan, watching as it lazily looped in a circle before doing another and another.
My mind started to drift back into thinking about Carlisle, it was so annoying that not wanting to think about something only makes someone think about it more. How unfair is that. I groaned, rolling onto my side. I just needed to be distracted.
My eyes caught sight of the book lying innocently on my bedside table, the thick leather-bound book Joe gave me. Maybe that would help, reading someone that had nothing to do with Carlisle.
I started on the first few pages. The book was old, the pages turned a beige-brown color and creased along the edges. It had probably come from the back, Joe always kept a whole shelf of old editions in there and I had seen him more than once spend an entire shift pouring through them.
It was like some of the other books from the shop I had briefly read through, except the words were a bit older, the vocabulary a bit denser. Someone had scribbled notes in some of the corners, I could only assume Joe had done that. The book had followed through a few legends relating to Forks, the notes in the margins elaborating somewhat on specific locations or years. The ink from the righting was smudged in some places, the words hard to make out in others. It wasn't an easy read but it was interesting. The creatures seemed more and more like humans, but they weren't, "like frozen marble" Joe had written in the corner.
Frozen marble, what a cold and unforgiving description, I mused. Joe was always going on about the unknown, about creatures that didn't exist. I didn't mind. It didn't do any harm to believe in the impossible. I closed the book with a small smile, marking my page with a receipt I pulled out of the drawer. I had only gotten about twenty-pages in to the over 500-page book. I'd finish it some other time, probably when I had the time which was almost never now days. At least reading had temporarily distracted me from thinking about Carlisle.
I pulled the covers up over me, flicking off the lamp with one hand.
Of course, I dreamed of Carlisle, because my brain hates me and doesn't listen and to top it all off I'd probably see him today. Alice had been getting more and more insistent as the date of the wedding approached. Now, with the harvest party done, and the wedding a couple weeks away she insisted that I devote more time to wedding planning. Sometimes I just thought the world hated me for consistently ensuring I face or do whatever I didn't want to at the moment. But maybe it was a good thing, maybe if I just faced it then I'd get over it and stop thinking about it.
I hoped that was true and I repeated the thought on the drive to the Cullen's house in the woods. Alice was already opening the door before I could even knock, she had a good knack for knowing when people were at the door.
"Come on in," she said holding the door open as Coraline swept in, her bag over her shoulder. "We're two weeks out now from the big day."
"Is Bella nervous?"
Alice shook her head, "I don't think it's hit her yet, or if it has she's more worried about other things."
I dropped my bag on one side of the couch, plopping down in an open section of the couch that wasn't taken over by Alice's various decoration pieces or stray papers. "She still worried about that friend of hers?"
Alice had briefly given me the run-down of the boy drama going on a few weeks prior, it was all rather silly in my opinion. One of her friends, who was so obviously in love with her had run off out of town once he got wind of the wedding. It threw Bella into a cloud of worry, which I couldn't blame her for but still, wasn't it a bit melodramatic to cause such a tizzy over a wedding on her friend's part but I was new to the story, I didn't have all the details, only what Alice had told me.
Sometimes it felt like I was missing large pieces of a greater story, missing why some things were so important. It didn't make sense to me but I let it slide, it wasn't my business, I wouldn't stick my nose in something that wasn't mine to know.
Alice and I worked separately for the first few hours, I was organizing the mess of papers while Alice did something across the room that I'm pretty sure had something to do with guest attendance.
The invitations had gone out a little over a month ago and Alice had been diligently checking the mail ever since for RSVP cards, we were still getting them, even now so close to the wedding date.
I thought my eyes were going to go cross eyed from looking at all of the papers for so long and I stood up, stretching my arms upward before padding my way into the kitchen, pulling my jacket closer around me. It was always so cold in their house, even though outside was still filled with warm summer air. I learned to always pack a jacket when I would be going over to their house.
Once in the kitchen I grabbed the tea kettle from the cabinet. I had asked a month ago if they had one and Alice had shaken her head, no, but a day later she presented me with one. I had brought over a couple boxes of tea, but no one else really liked tea. I had offered it to them more than once, and I always kept a note taped to the front of the tea saying they could have some.
I filled the kettle with water, watching it tiredly as it began to make faint bubbling noises. I turned to get the cup from the cabinet, only to see Rosalie there, standing just a few feet away.
I jumped a bit in surprise, putting my hand over my heart, "You scared me," I exclaimed, feeling my heart rate slowly calm down, "Do you want some tea?"
She shook her head, "I just wanted to ask how the wedding planning was going." The words were clipped, like she had to take special care in saying them.
I smiled brightly back at her, "It's going great, almost everything's ready, are you ready for your piano solo?"
She nodded sharply, the movement coming out graceful even without trying. "Of course."
She had a severe confidence, and combined with her breathtaking looks it was enough to make me intimidated by the girl in front of me. We wouldn't be so far apart in age, maybe a few years if anything, she having graduated the year prior but even she seemed so much older like all the Cullen children.
I could feel her staring at me as I poured the water over my tea bag, and I looked up, giving her another smile, waiting for her to talk. When she didn't, I searched for something of a conversation.
"So," I started, blowing on the hot tea, "How's Emmet?"
She gave me an odd look, like she'd been surprised for just a moment before she answered. "He's fine, why?"
I shook my head, shrugging with a small smile, "Just making conversation."
"Oh." She seemed thoughtful, and then she nodded, as if deciding on something, "I should get going, but this was pleasant." The words seemed strange coming from her, and even she looked contemplative saying them but she finished with a small smile.
Maybe there was hope for us all yet.
Rosalie left with a turn, out of the kitchen and I headed back towards Alice, holding the warm mug in my cold hands.
Alice was sitting cross-legged on the floor, moving papers around the coffee table. She glanced up to me when I sat down on the couch.
"Rosalie likes you, you know."
"You think so?"
She nodded, "I know so."
"Did she tell you that?"
Alice shook her head, "I just know."
I shook my head, "Of course you do."
Alice shrugged, smiling at me like I was a silly child, "We all like you."
I felt my lips quirk at the ends, a grin spreading across my face.
"Thank you, Alice. Now, tell me about what you've done since I was gone."
Alice quickly went straight into her progress, excitedly explaining the differences in certain colors and why the little changes mattered. I half-listened as I smiled down at her from the couch.
They like me.
I am sorry. I've had this chapter written for over a month but I always forgot to publish it because I got distracted. I was in a car accident, just a lot has happened in the past two months. I've also been watching an inordinate amount of Bon Apetit videos. They just have such a wonderful staff and I love them all so much even though I don't know them. Anyway, tell me what you think of this chapter! I hope you guys like it.
Also, I read every comment, every single one. I appreciate almost all of them haha
