Dean dies, meets a reaper, goes to heaven, drives his car, reunites with an old friend and has a half hearted(on his part) heart to heart.

Title Fade to Black by Metallica

Welcome back, this story is by far the one I have put the most thought and effort into. I really want it to turn out good. I hope that it is true to Character. Now the whole POV thing is a little weird because of the way I am formatting it, but the scenes of the present, are in no ones pov. See the bottom notes for triggers in this chapter if anything triggers you.


Everything in front of his eyes fades into black. Not an evil blackness, but just a sad darkness. He could finally relax, there wasn't going to be anything trying to hunt him down and kill him. For a few brief moments he was nowhere and then he was standing in front of his body, looking down at what he had done. He found he didn't care, he was dead due to his won mistakes and he didn't care, that scared him.

"You have a few moments, then we need to get going," a unfamiliar voice said beside him. He turned his head and was met with who he assumed was his reaper. She was short with long dark hair and pale skin, wearing the standard all black. A watch was on her wrist that she kept looking at. Several rings were on her fingers. The most startling thing though was how young she looked, barely more than a teenager, maybe very early twenties, and strangely familiar, but he couldn't think from where.

"Thanks," He said, he wanted to get one last glimpse of his brother, because it was going to be a long time until he saw him again, but he didn't know when if ever, his body would be found. The chances of seeing Sam before he moved on were next to nothing.

"No problem, Dean Winchester, we have to go soon, I have places to be and people to reap," She said, her boots stomping on the ground, as she walked over to him.

"Just another minute, please?" He asked, he wasn't quite ready to say good-bye yet.

"Okay Dean Winchester, you got five minutes," she said, sitting cross legged next to his dead body something that creeped him out a little. What she did next confused him, she pulled her clipboard out and started doodling on it.

"You might be the strangest reaper I have ever met," he confessed honestly, confused by her.

"I would probably get that a lot, if people encountered more than one reaper in their life, or afterlife Dean Winchester," she said, slowly, before looking at her watch. Every time she said his name like that, it sounded weird.

"Is it time" he asked, sadly but also content he was ready.

"Yes, you should let go of your guilt Dean Winchester, if you were going to Osiris you would condemn because of it, Odin would hate you because of you ruining the impromptu Gods & Goddesses Convention, Hades… the point is that where you are going Dean Winchester you need to let go," she said touching his forehead and everything faded to black.


"She is right, Dean, I never want to have to be your lawyer again, trying to convince you that stuff wasn't your fault," Sam said shaking his head at his memories.

"Ugh, that was one of the worse nights of my life," Jo said shuddering, thinking about what she almost did

"Idjits, that was one of the most worrisome nights of my life," Bobby said.

"Sorry that my guilt messes with your lives and afterlives," Dean said annoyed and wanting the subject to be dropped.

"Dean," Cas sighed, and the two of them to just stare at each other, Cas's head tilted slightly.

"Cas, can we just get on with the story," Dean said, getting a nod from Cas, he continued.


He was sitting in the Impala. That was the first thing that registered in his mind as he opened his eyes. Bright light was coming in through the windows, but he was sitting in the Impala. It smelled the same as it had on earth, a strange mixture of salt, blood, grease, and old leather. The smell of home, when he had no one he had this car. He had rebuilt this car when he didn't know what else to do, it was his life line. Maybe in another life he wouldn't have hunted and would have restored old cars. Of course in another life things would have been way different.

When things got to be to much in his head he got in the car and just drove. High speeds, loud music, and the open road before him. It helped he would admit that. He just had to make sure he didn't do anything dumb like drive it off of a ravine. Couldn't let himself do that until he cleaned up the last of his messes.

Easing onto the gas, he drove. Trees, grass turning into bright green blobs as he sped around corners. He didn't know where he was headed, he didn't even know what heaven was like anymore. He hoped it wasn't reliving his memories because he knew they weren't real and he didn't think that he could deal with having a fake Cas around. That would be just a bit to much. He wondered what is was going to be like to not have responsibility. If it was going to be freeing, or boring. Boring seemed more likely, at least for him. It wasn't like he had any hobbies to take up his time with, and now all he had was time.

All he had was time.

Time.

He could have had time.

TIME

TIME

Time

time

time

Time, something he hadn't ever wanted more of before, even when he had a year to live, even when his mom died. Even when Sam left for college, and his dad tossed him the keys, a month later. He hadn't ever wanted time as much as he had any other time before.

Time to figure things out with Cas. Not that it would have done much good. He couldn't let himself think about it like that couldn't let the guilt eat him alive. His... best friend? His angel? His celestial being? His something… had told him that he loved him, and then *SNAP* he was gone. Leaving Dean alone, with his phone, breaking down.

He didn't know how to accept that, he was always the sacrifice, not the person protected, him giving his life for someone else wasn't that much of a big deal. Someone else caring enough to give up there life for him, was pretty unfathomable.

He had to stop thinking like this, he was in heaven, for gods sake. He should go find people, find Bobby, Charlie, Jo, Ellen, Pamela, and everyone else he had failed. He should go find Charlie first, with her advice and understanding to some extent of hiw he processed things, although you don't find Charlie, Charlie finds you.


"That's right," Charlie said grinning.

"You are really hard to find Charlie, it was easier at times to find demons, and other things than you," Dean confessed.

"Good."


He reached over to the glove box, and opened it something that he probably shouldn't do while he was driving but he didn't think he could crash in heaven, and if he did would it really matter. He pulled out a cassette one that he was familiar with and put it in, the smooth sounds of Metallica filled the car. Humming along, he felt some satisfaction filled him. Turning towards a haunted looking forest, he saw something standing by the edge of the road.

He pulled over when he saw who was standing there, the familiar red hair that was a sight he had been wanting to see for a long time.

"Hey brother," she said as she stepped into the car, sliding into the seat and closing the door.

"Hey Charlie," He said shifting the car into drive again and starting down the road again, he just wanted to drive, and not think about the fact that Cas was pretty much on the complete opposite place. Down in the Empty where he assumed was just nothingness.

"I was kinda hoping it would be awhile, until I saw you, what got you," Charlie said looking at him critically.

"Blood loss," he mumbled, not that he was ashamed or had any regrets, he didn't want to be psychoanalyzed by Charlie.

"Blood loss," Charlie repeated for clarification, clearly wanting more info.

"Yes," he said.

"Ok."

Silence filled the car, comfortable silence, not the awkward silence where people were straining for things to say. He had experienced that type way more than one would think considering his only constant companion for most of his life had been his younger brother. His younger brother that he fought with quite often leaving plenty of tense and uncomfortable moments.

"Soo, I met some of your friends, me and Ash, setup a whole system inside of heaven, so that we can find pretty much anyone took a lot of trial and error though, before everything became connected," Charlie said.

"That's good," he said honestly.

"Yeah, the roadhouse is a pretty cool place, I finally met Bobby, and a lot of other cool people," Charlie said.

"Cas said he loved me," He finally blurted out, he needed to tell someone, he hadn't told anyone, not even his brother.

"Ok, and, how do you feel about it," Charlie asked, looking it him with critical eyes, confused.

"Then he was pulled into the Empty, which is basically where demons and angels go when they die," he said giving information on what the empty was, since Charlie probably didn't know anything about it. Ignoring her question though.

"Hmm, so let me get this straight, Cas confessed his love for you and then he got pulled into the empty, that doesn't make sense," Charlie asked confused she didn't see how the two were related.

"I don't know okay, he experienced a moment of true happiness, and because of a deal he made he got taken to the empty," Dean said speeding up, so that he couldn't make anything out on either side of the road.

"And his moment of happiness was telling you that he loves you," Charlie said, the puzzle clicking into place.

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry, so how we gonna get him back?" Charlie asked seeing that as the next logical step.

"What!" he said slamming on the brakes so hard, out of shock, that if they weren't in heaven, they both would have cracked their heads open on the dash. In heaven though they barely went forward.

"That was weird," Charlie said from where she was bracing herself, she clearly had been expecting to get thrown forward.

"Yeah, but there is no getting someone back from the empty, especially since Cas made a deal with it," Dean bit out bitterly.

"If there's a will there's a way," Charlie said.

"Not this time," Dean said sternly, besides even if there was what would he do. He didn't know how he felt about Cas's love confession, he didn't understand how Cas could love him. Maybe he didn't and it was just about getting away from Dean, maybe that was his moment of true happiness, getting rid of Dean once and for all. A hand was placed on his shoulder startling him out of his thoughts.

"Hey, did you even hear anything that I just said?" Charlie asked concerned.

"No," he said honestly.

"I said that I am sure we could figure something out," Charlie said calmly like she was dealing with someone who was about to explode something that could very well be true.

"You can't just figure something out it's the empty," Dean said as he started driving again, some of the anger was starting to seep out of him.

"Are you doubting my skills?"

"No, but there just isn't a way."

"You never told me how you felt about Cas's love confession," Charlie said changing the subject.

"Does it matter?"

"I mean, come on Dean," Charlie said rolling her eyes at her friends, attitude.

"I am not going to talk about it," Dean gritted out forcefully, he didn't need to share his emotions with her.

"Okay, dude pretty hard wrap your head around a love confession when you can't love yourself," Charlie said.

He didn't know what to say to that. It could be true, but he wasn't going to look to much into that comment for fear of what he might find. What he had done wasn't a new thought, by any means. That could back up the fact that he might hate himself, the question that Bobby posed all those years ago echoed in his head, "Do you think that low of yourself? Are you that messed up in the head?"

Maybe he did hate himself, he didn't matter, when he was a kid. Didn't matter, his whole duty was to protect Sam. That was his purpose for the longest time, the only thing that mattered. Maybe he did think low about himself, but he didn't see why that was a problem.

"I am going to figure out how to get into the 'Empty' and then we are going to get the angel back, I was getting a little bored anyways, there is only so much perfection and everything going right I can take although all of the roads being paved in gold is kinda nice," Charlie said.


"I don't understand, do you not like everything being perfect?" Jack questioned confused.

"No kid, I just get bored and like to be kept on my toes but that's just me," Charlie said.

"You doing good kid, heaven is great," Dean reassured Jack, who smiled at him.


"Sure," Dean said skeptically.

"Have some faith in me Dean," Charlie said, as Dean pulled the car over in a shaded area and got out leaving her alone. Charlie waited for a minute, before getting out and joining Dean on the side of the car sitting down on the ground next to him.

"Sorry, it's just, there is no use, Charlie, and as much as I admire your determination, please don't look into it," Dean said staring off into the distance a single tear tracking down his face.

"I know, but Dean…" Charlie trailed of giving him a hug.


It is sort of implied that, deans canon divergent death was suicide, nothing explicit though, some self hate also.

Just some things to think about, so I know theoretically Dean could have told Sam about the whole Cas and The Empty thing. I don't think he did though, because as a older sibling, I am not going to bare my soul to my younger sister, that is what friends are for, hence him telling Charlie. Who was probably one of his longer lasting friendships, since he moved around so much in his childhood. I hope this felt in character. Does anyone even read the author notes? HELP I AM TRAPPED IN MY LAPTOP. Up next Charlie and Ash team up, Dean reunites with other people. In two weeks.