"Now that I am sober
I take back what I said
I'm sittin' with this love hangover
And boy, it's hurtin' my head
It's the middle of October
Oh, we just came to an end
I'm just sorry that there ain't no time left
You and I, we're over
Me and you are done
When I wanted to be closer
You just wanted to run
Though I know it's no one's fault
If I've learned anything at all
With us, no matter how I add it up
One plus one is none"
Mahalia – "Sober"
Disa couldn't think of one embarrassing event in her life that would equal what Erik did to her storming into her bedroom and beating another man out of her pussy. It was a sobering moment that would stay etched in her brain for many years to come.
Gary was a recent divorcé from Boston who shared a mutual colleague friend from Worcester and Disa first met him at a cocktail party for the opening of a new wing of the M.I.T. engineering lab. She hadn't been to that part of the campus since Erik went there and it felt odd to wander a space that echoed memories of a young Erik Stevens. Soon after Disa left him, Erik mailed her letters, and at first, she read them all despite fighting the urge to toss them. His words of love were endearing, sweet, so full of emotion, and yearning for their reconciliation. She kept her heart cold. Iced a protective moat around it to keep the thawing language away from her fragile feelings. Eventually, she stopped reading them. Collected them in a shoe box and kept them under her bed. As long as he sent a letter, she would know he was alive somewhere. That was enough for her.
Gary turned out to be a nice man with a sharp mind. They slept together a couple of months after meeting and she was pleased with his performance and his nurturing of her body afterward. She would have to get used to not having the type of loving she had been spoiled with because of Erik. Gary was overly attentive and thrilled that she allowed him to get between her legs, and Disa accepted the realization that the love of her life ruined sex with other men. It would take a long time for Disa to stop comparing anyone with her ex. Sadness gripped her. Hopefully, things would get better. She would learn to forget him.
Alas, he would not make that possible.
He walked into their once loving home and shamed her for fucking someone new. Used violence to take out his competition and turned her into a harlot.
His kiss on her lips reminded her of the dreadful power he had over her. He smelled delicious and his body was scrumptious in a tight shirt and expensive pants that gripped his thighs and outlined his ass. Erik purposely dressed to seduce, and if Gary hadn't been there, she knew for a fact that she would've fallen for him once more with unwavering desire the moment she saw him.
He followed her inside the house after Gary left in a disgraced huff. She walked into the den and sat on the soft rug in front of the lingering warmth of the dying fire. Erik sat down next to her and she started crying. He tried to put an arm around her and she fled the den and ran to her bedroom. She walked into her bathroom and took a hot shower, washing away Gary's scent. Drying off on her bed, she prayed Erik would leave. He was stubborn and arrogant when he didn't get what he wanted, and she had no energy to face him pouting or throwing a tantrum over her new boyfriend. Gary was supposed to be her distraction. The man to help her transition into a new love life and the chance to have a family that Erik promised her and lied about. Most men she met were divorced or already had baby mamas. Disa resigned herself to having a future husband that already had children. She only wanted to date older men that had comfortable careers. There would be no more struggle love for her. Erik put her through the wringer and she would never want that type of love ever again.
"Disa, I'm not leaving."
Erik called to her from the den. She changed into a fresh satin robe and walked back to the den. He sat on the rug and added another log to the fire.
"I want you to leave," she said.
"No, you don't. You're glad I'm alive and here. I can feel it."
"I'm glad that you're not dead, but that's it. You can't do this to me. I will date other men. Go find someone who will put up with your madness, Erik."
"No one will understand me except you. Disa, you miss me. You want me, not these old dudes."
She slapped him. Slapped him again. The third time she struck his face, he grabbed her hand and pushed her down on her back.
"Hitting me won't make me leave or stop loving you."
He parted the middle of her robe and stroked the scar from her stabbing. His fingers trailed up to her right breast, and he caressed it before plucking at her nipple. She pushed his fingers away and raised herself up to his face.
"I'm not your woman anymore. Let me go."
"No. You can deny me all you want. Ignore my letters and text messages, but it won't stop me from loving you. For the rest of my life, you'll be my woman. I don't care if you marry someone else, I don't care how many children you have with another man. You will always be mine. I'm gonna blow the future world wide open, and you can't see it because you're afraid… and things haven't gone as smooth as I had hoped for us."
"Stop—"
"I can't. When I succeed, I'm coming back for you, no matter who you're with."
"You're fucking insane. This shit has your mind twisted up. You need therapy and your family—"
"You are my family!"
"No, I'm not. You're so selfish, Erik. So selfish…"
She wiped her eyes and stared at the crackling fire. He watched the fresh flames with her, too. Erik turned his head to look at her and she ignored his pleading eyes and stayed focused on the heat in front of them and not the emotional heat swirling around them. He leaned over and kissed her cheek and the feathery softness stripped away her protective rigidness toward him. His eyes said 'I love you' and she caved in, tilted her head, and offered her lips for more kisses. He obliged and gave her small gentle pecks before he held her chin and gave her all of his plush fullness. They cried together and kissed, rekindling that old magic until they were sharing tongues and his lips cascaded down her throat. He darted his tongue in her ear and hummed her name before her body shivered in defeat. His fingers stroked her straightened hair before his hands slipped inside her robe again and fondled her breasts. Disa couldn't hide the sighs or aching need from his touches. She hated herself for being weak. Everything he said was true. It didn't matter who she ended up with, she was always going to be his. He lowered his head and suckled a heavy breast, and her pussy became slick sugar walls for him.
"He enjoyed sucking on these titties, didn't he?" he said.
Disa squeezed her eyes shut. Erik's mouth slathered her breasts with warm saliva and searing kisses. He pushed her down carefully and crawled on top of her, lowering his head to engulf more flesh in his mouth. His hands pulled apart her robe and revealed her naked flesh to him. He lifted from her and took off his clothes and she laid there like a bump on a log and just let him get naked. His penis grew stiff as he watched her naked form in the glow of firelight. Moist lips pressed into her folds and he satisfied her orally, smacking his lips and twirling his tongue around her clit.
"You let him eat your pussy, didn't you?" he said.
Disa moaned and covered her eyes with her arm. His eyes drilled through her skull with their intense stare. He was angry about her being with someone else, but he was horny for her, too. Erik pressed the fat head of his dick against her opening. He lifted her legs, and they draped over his biceps.
"Let that nigga fuck my pussy…"
His stiffness parted the curtain of her folds, and he penetrated her with aggression.
"He fuck you like this?" he demanded to know.
He grunted, and she kept her lips slammed shut, not willing to give him the satisfaction of knowing she missed his dick. Missed the way she melted around his shaft so easily. It was hot, stiff, and merciless. She fought against the pleasure. Her plan was to let him nut and then he would leave being the smug asshole he always was. He needed to put it down on her and then he would go away knowing that no man would ever measure up to him. His ego would carry that knowledge forever.
He pulled out of her pussy and forced her to face away from him on her knees, pressing his hand on her neck. She took the position, ass up, head down willingly. Her face grew warmer from the blazing fire and he clapped her cheeks, groaning and shouting her name with each hard thrust.
"Betcha that nigga loved this shit!" Erik yelled.
The weight of him smashed her into the fluffy rug.
"Hold these ass cheeks open for me!" he commanded.
Disa reached back and pulled her thick cheeks apart for him. Like a fool, she did whatever he wanted.
"Pussy so juicy… fat pussy lips gripping my dick head…"
Erik huffed and puffed, his erection planted inside her walls nice and heavy. She forgot how big he was. The weight of his erection made Gary's offering feel like a slender hot dog.
"You throw it back on him?" he asked.
She turned her head to look back at him.
"Yes," she said.
His lips twisted up.
"Show me," he demanded.
Disa grabbed fistfuls of her luxury rug and shifted her hips so that she could slam her ass into him.
"Oh! Sheiitttt!"
Erik lost his mind when she worked his dick and handled those big balls slapping against her clit. She kept her eyes on him, twisting her waist at an angle so he could see her salacious eyes. Her wiggling, winding, and jiggling of her backside pleased the man. There was no point in fighting him. This would have to be their swan song. Their final connection.
"Shit is splashing, baby… been dreaming about this pussy… just wanna nut all in this!"
He hunched over her, and his lips dragged along the shell of her ear.
"Squeeze Daddy's dick. Lemme know this my pussy."
She pushed her face into the rug and flexed her vaginal muscles all along his shaft. When he thrust in further, she gripped his dick and he shuddered on her back.
"Disa! I'm cumming all in this pussyyyyy! Fuck I'm cumming, baby…"
Erik gripped her hips and held still. His dick moved deep inside of her, the throbbing setting off her own orgasm while his balls rubbed against her swollen clit. He collapsed on her back and, when he was fully rested from the encounter, he dragged her back to the bedroom and had his way with her all night.
###
Erik stayed with Disa for two days. He cooked for her and they made love a lot. On his third day, she requested that he leave. She was adamant, but he felt secure enough leaving and knowing he would have her again. The way she responded to his body, all the nasty things she said in his ear, he knew he could come to her at any time and she would give herself to him.
He was wrong.
Erik went to the hotel suite he stayed in and packed up his bags. He drove back to the house hours later and found that the locks were all changed and the alarm code was switched. She was gone. He came back a few hours later, and she didn't come home. Waiting all night, he knew she wouldn't come back to the house until he was gone for good.
He didn't care.
She was still his, regardless. He flew back to Iraq early and wrote her another letter. It came back to him unopened with a 'Return to Sender' red stamp across it.
Erik pouted for a day, then went back to work. In less than twenty-four hours of his return to Mosul, he received the images from Tahir of the first sighting of Ulysses Klaue. It was time for him to plot his entry into Klaue's inner circle. The next month in Iraq was crucial to that success.
###
Disa took a deep inhale of the humid air and gave thanks that Yamilet convinced her to buy the white two-piece Egyptian outfit in the hotel clothing store. It came with a protective head covering. The sweat that dripped off her skin was absorbed and evaporated quickly through the material, keeping her cool.
Their first-class flight was smooth with champagne and fancy meals, and she slept for most of the trip. They landed in Cairo after dark and the hotel clothing store attracted Yamilet because of the bargain prices for designer quality clothing.
"What about this?" Yamilet said.
She spun around with the outfit that seemed to have too much material for a scorching desert. Disa crinkled her nose.
"I don't know, it's cute, but it's supposed to hit one hundred degrees tomorrow by noon," Disa said.
Yamilet frowned.
"You should get it. I'm going to buy the caftan with the blue scarf," Yamilet said.
Disa took the outfit from her friend's hand and held it against herself and peeked at her image in the full-length mirror.
"Come on, let's dress like the locals. Your Arabic has people thinking you're a native, anyway."
Disa paid cash for the outfit so she could break a large Egyptian pound note. She liked giving nice tips.
It thrilled Yamilet to take the trip with her. Erik left the tickets and five-star hotel reservations paid for and open for her to use at any time. He never cancelled anything after she left him, so she celebrated her birthday by turning a planned honeymoon into a delightful Girl's Trip.
Disa was grateful that Yamilet could do the ten days with her, and they spent the first two days playing tourist in the main part of the city. The Arabic Disa spoke attracted better service and more privileges in the city compared to other tourists. Their personal guide and the private camping trip to the Pyramids and the Karnak Temple had to have cost Erik at least ten thousand dollars or more. The flight and hotel were already costly, but once they saw the perks they would get with the private tours, Disa felt a bit of sorrow. Erik wanted her to have the best if they had gotten married.
Disa put on an appreciative face and enjoyed her time with her best friend in the entire world. She opted to cash in the tour and make it a trip that Marisol could go on too, but Erik's play cousin was undergoing initiation as a priestess and couldn't take the time off that Disa and Yamilet wanted to use for their travel dates. She appreciated that Marisol kept their relationship private with Erik. She feared Erik would interfere with the trip or cancel it and take back his money, but she hadn't heard from him in the past five months since his break-in at her house. He was entrenched in a job and she finally felt free of him.
She dated a new man who was from New York and also spent time with a woman from New Jersey. Her work kept her busy with teaching and taking part in a few design projects. Disa had money to take care of herself, and she was happy. She reached that place where Erik was slowly fading into the background. They had been together so long as friends and lovers that she thought she would take a lifetime to get to a place where she could see a life without him. It wasn't easy, but she made baby steps. She prayed for him every night and wished him well on his journey.
On their fourth day in Cairo, they packed up more desert clothing, sunblock, and mini fans and met their camping guide. It shocked Disa when she saw the first-night camp set-up that overlooked the pyramids. She giggled with Yamilet as they ate lamb kebabs and sipped tea. They learned to ride camels with a camel herder that had a messed up leg that made him limp. He had survived a terrible fire as a child and his face was mottled, skin-grafted flesh on one side. He wore his head covering across his face to keep the tourists from seeing his burnt flesh. She caught sight of it when he drank water while feeding the camels that carried their gear. His skin was damaged around his left eye, nose, and along his throat. His one good eye was a black, stony stare, and Disa did her best not to look at it too much when he guided her camel. He worked hard even with his injury and helped her and Yamilet with their unruly rides. The lead guide was a fast-talking, energetic man with a slim build and so much knowledge to share.
Disa's cell phone stayed active on their first day of camping. Serah sent her pictures of London and a few pictures of Erik in Iraq. His locs were longer and his ruggedly handsome looks had her shivering at the memories of being under him on their last tryst. His Aunt was not subtle about her calling him and getting back together. Disa stayed calm and politely asked Serah not to pressure her into getting back with her nephew. After speaking with her, Erik's number popped up on her phone a few hours later. Disa rolled her eyes, annoyed. She couldn't even enjoy her Egyptian trip without his family meddling in her life.
The next day, they rested and enjoyed a lecture from an Egyptologist, and then they went to the Karnak Temple Sound and Light show. Disa was happy that they had a separate tour group on the high-end side because they were allowed access to parts of the enormous temple that regular tourists couldn't see at night. She walked around with the handful of tourists in her private camping group, and her cell vibrated again. Erik. She ignored the call and turned her phone off completely.
She noticed her tour guide waiting near an ancient set of statues with their camel herders. The day had been long and the night tour enjoyable, but she was ready to return to her fancy camp tent and sleep. Darwesh the head camel herder, and Zahur, his burned, injured assistant herder, waved to her. She walked over to them and talked about her impressions of the temple. Zahur's damaged vocal cords were hard to understand, but he pointed toward a cordoned-off area. She followed him into the dark, and he led her toward several tall pillars. Feeling a little nervous about being away from the group, she was hesitant to go much further, but his hand raised up to the sky and her breath caught in her throat as he showed her what he wanted her to see.
Above them, a bright waning moon became obscured by the beauty of the milky way galaxy perfectly aligned with the temple pillars. Disa touched her chest and stared with awe and tears in her eyes.
"Oh, God, Zahur. It's so beautiful."
She forgot he didn't understand English.
"Shkran lak," she said to him.
He nodded and limped back to his boss, leaving her by herself.
She gazed at the heavenly blessing and prayed for Erik's safety. She didn't want to be with him anymore and wouldn't.
Her love would always be with him. That would never change.
