The rest of my weekend was a headache. Mother mostly gave me the silent treatment, which was fine, but she did other little things to get her point across. Like when she pounded on my door in the morning to wake me up to get ready for church. I woke with a start, but didn't complain too much. I then got dressed in nicer clothes for the occasion, and headed downstairs, where usually breakfast was made.
This time there was none, and they headed out the door as soon as they spotted me in the foyer. That resulted in an eyeroll, but I exited the house soon after them. They were hopping in Tom's car already, so I started to make my way to the back seat, however as soon as I got within a few feet from the car They started to back up.
I paused in step and watched as they backed out of the driveway and drove off, mom giving me this cold emotionless look the entire time. I stood in the driveway dumbfounded by the childish act for a minute. I wondered what I should do, walk across town to get to the church they go to? Or just get dressed in my comfier clothes and stay home?
I chose neither, and decided to walk a little ways into town to this old white chapel that my parents originally turned down simply because it looked "poor", despite it being much closer. This was a good choice in my opinion, the service across town was long and drawn out, with multiple rules like a catholic church.
This one was simple and got to the point; we sang a hymn or 2, The pastor gave a sermon that was no longer than 30 minutes or so, and that was it. People started to pool together to mingle, but I who sat in the back of the church walked out right afterwards. I knew no one there, so staying and chatting was not going to do me much good.
Instead, I walked back home much earlier than I would have if I went with Tom and Mom this morning. I fried some eggs and bacon in a pan to make myself breakfast now that I had all the extra time. I was able to cook, eat, and clean up the mess before I heard the front door reopen.
I didn't bother turning to look at the two that came in, I figured if they wanted to play this game then I can serve it right back. Instead of acknowledging their presence, I was going to just complete my daily chores. This way I left them with no reason to get angry with me, I mean they could get angry with me for ignoring their presence but then they'd be hypocrites.
I worked around them easily, without looking at their faces, sweeping the floor, wiping the counters down, and vacuuming. When I got to my final chore of dishes my mom decided to be petty once again. I was currently standing at the sink, scrubbing on the dishes, when my mom came around. I heard her take a dish out of the cupboard behind me, then the clicking of her heels as she drew near.
Soon after there was a stack of plates set in my sink a little roughly, causing some soapy bubbles to fly up into my face. I looked over at her slowly raising an eyebrow, giving her a look that should have said.
'Really?'
She gave me a sly smile before turning around and walking back out the kitchen.
"Most people have to exist in a fairy tale to receive this kind of abuse." I mumbled to myself with an eyeroll. I wasn't going to fully rewash every dish she set in my sink, Instead I just rinsed all those plates, and moved on to scrubbing the few dishes I actually had left to clean.
Soon I was all done, and I knew there was nothing else I was meant to complete for the day, so I was free to do as I pleased. I went for a walk around town for an hour or two, just to stay out of the house and away from them. I did hope to see Ace a little, but it would seem he was nowhere in town today. That was alright though, I was able to enjoy the peace around town, I stopped by Pop's ice-cream parlor again, and had another chocolate malt.
I also decided to enter some of the stores here on the main street, like the produce store nearby, and even though I knew the antique shop was just junk, I decided to walk around in there as well. After wasting enough time, I walked back home, just in time for lunch. This time I wasn't too shocked to see that Tom and Mom were sitting at the large dining room table with their own plates of a pasta mom cooked up, but no third plate set out for me, nor any left-over pasta in a pan on the stove.
I made a point to not look at either of them too long. I didn't want them to get any satisfaction over this kind of treatment, I wasn't going to show them that it got to me. Instead, I walked straight to the kitchen, and opened the fridge gathering what I needed to make a simple sandwich.
A few minutes later and I had a delicious ham sandwich, and an orange in hand. I sat at the small table in the kitchen just in view of the dining room, to have my meal. Once I was done, I wiped the table off, and left the room, smiling to myself as I felt at least my mom's eyes follow me.
The rest of the day I stayed upstairs and out of their way. I read one of my leisure books I had lying around, I was able to get my final copy of my book report perfected, and I took a nice little nap. Once Supper time came around, I knew exactly what to expect but I wasn't sure I really wanted to face the two again. I was exhausted from their petty antics, and thought of just going to bed early, but my stomach growling dashed those plans.
So, I went down stairs to endure the same treatment I endured all day, only to be a little surprised to almost run into my mother in the doorway.
"Oh, I was just about to get you. Dinner is ready." She said, looking down at me. I can tell she was a little angry with me, and I honestly couldn't figure out why the sudden change of behavior now. I followed her cautiously into the dining room, and there was in fact three plates set out at the table, each with a porkchop, and some greens beside it on the plate.
I sat down at the table, and looked between the two adults, suspicious by their strange behavior. We all ate in silence, the sounds of the silverware clanking against the plates was nearly deafening in comparison.
"Robin." My mom called out a few minutes in. I looked up from my plate, catching sight of Tom's hand squeezing hers, something he does to calm her nerves.
"I just wanted to say that last night, I was wrong." She started, it seemed like it was taking all her strength for this apology, and though I believed she had no reason to act like it was killing her, I stayed silent to hear what she had to say.
"It was wrong of me to assume the worst in you, I should believe my own daughter when she tells me a boy treated her poorly. I'm sorry."
The apology didn't feel very sincere, but it was an apology all the same. I was hoping she truly was sorry, and just had a hard time admitting when she was wrong. She has struggled with that for years, so it was plausible, and it was something I could accept.
"Thanks mom."
She smiled brightly after that, her hand slipping from Tom's to grab her fork once more.
"Now that, that is out of the way. Let's enjoy our meal." She cheered, digging into her plate. Tom the ever-silent matriarch lifted his glass in a silent toast, in agreeance with her. They had an odd dynamic, I just started to notice that Tom hardly ever spoke when I was around, and he did very little in presenting a parenting style towards me.
He made a lot of decisions for me, like suggesting a relationship between Will and I, but he never brought it up himself. He brings the idea up to mother alone, and then both will be present when the idea is brought to me, but mom does all the talking. Tom just stands there as the silent rule enforcer.
I finished the meal in a much more comfortable silence this time, at least I knew the petty fighting was over. I was a little miffed that she didn't want to apologize for her rude behavior today, I mean she got me up in the loudest way possible, wanted me to get dressed for church, then left me. And then threw a stack of clean plates in my dish water.
I ignored the thought though, no need to sit and stew over it now that she is finally in a better mood. I was still thankful for school to start the next morning though. I needed time out of this house and away from her, if I wanted to eventually forgive her toddler tendencies.
Little did I know Monday was going to be the start of hell well. I walked into the school, like any normal day, and didn't notice anything amiss until I entered my homeroom. As soon as I took a step into the room I was met with many different faces, some glares, some catty smiles, but for sure I knew all eyes were on me.
I walked to my desk slowly taking in some of the eyes and watching as some people were huddled together clearly whispering about me, with their eyes directly on me. I couldn't understand what I did to gain such attention, it was worse than my first day here!
Luckily Ace was able to distract me when he came in, he too noticed the stares at first as he came to sit in the seat next to me.
"What did you do?" He asked bored, taking out the book I recommended to him a while back, it would seem he was almost finished with it.
"Not sure, your guess is as good as mine." I said. I pulled out some study material for my Chemistry class, aware that there is a test coming up soon that I wanted to get a good grade on. Will came in almost right before class, and to my disappointment, his nose didn't sustain any residual injuries after shoving his face away from mine for the second time that night.
The way he was holding it that night I kind of hoped I broke it, but I guess not. He didn't look in our little corner, but he did carry a shit eating grin as he came in and sauntered over to his seat. He certainly didn't look like a guy that has been left at the dance by his date, he must really bounce back fast. In fact, I was distracted once by the loud clapping of one of his buddy's hands on his back, congratulating him on something it would seem. Maybe he did get accepted into Harvard like he wanted, and that's why he was in such a good mood.
The next few classes were oddly no different than home room. I was given all sorts of different looks from the student body. Some from the men were even more so uncomfortable, and it really had me curious on what I did.
P.E. I finally got my first clue, as we were all doing a warm-up jog, there were a few girls that passed me in a run, and one leaned over to whisper "Whore" in my direction. I looked at the girl incredulously, I didn't know her or her little friends, but they giggled together as they continued to run further and further away from me.
Then while we were back in the locker room, while I was showering someone wrote the word 'SLUT' on my locker in red lipstick. When I discovered it, I looked around the room slowly to see who might have done it. Every girl's eyes avoided mine though, and most faced the other way entirely, talking in their own little groups, acting as if I was invisible to them. Even Judy who at least met my gaze with a sad look soon turned to face her own locker, not letting me in on the secret.
When English finally came around, I was exhausted and just needed some cheering up again. Ace asked how I was when he first saw me, which I answered falsely with a "fine." Not wanting to explain to him what was going on just yet. I just wanted him to distract me today. I was expecting him to kick his feet up on my desk like he does every day, or pull on a strand of my hair, but both were not so today.
Instead, the pretty blonde from across the room, Holly Wilson, came over again to flirt with him. She did it often, and usually Ace would ignore her advances, and send her away with an excuse of needing to read, or that she was annoying him, but today was different.
Instead of meeting her greeting with a non-committal hum, he greeted it with a pleasant hello. I was caught so off guard I looked behind me to see he was giving her a mischievous smile. They continued their flirty conversation ignoring my look completely, and I slowly turned back in my seat, listening to the two.
It shook me to my very core that Ace was actually flirting back with her, he never seemed to show her any interest before. I don't know what change throughout the weekend, but surely it wasn't big enough for all this.
"So, Gwen is not here today leaving the seat beside me empty, do you want to read together?" Holly asked, pushing her long perfectly straight blonde hair behind her shoulder, and flashing him one of her sweetest smiles.
"Yeah, read together, that's what we will call it."
My eyes widened, as I watched Ace pass by my seat and then walk with Holly all the way to the other end of the classroom. Once they got there Ace shoved the empty desk over to sit even closer to Holly.
I felt a hard lump slowly form in my throat as I watched them both sit huddled together, and as Ace called it, not even a book in hand. The pain in my chest grew with every giggle or chuckle I heard from that area of the room. With every stab, I sunk further and further in my seat, as now all the stares and whispering felt even stronger. I felt exposed, and without Ace around to distract me from everything, it was starting to feel overwhelming. Him being just across the room, working his magic on the pretty blonde, oblivious to my discomfort only made it that much worse.
I guess this is what everyone meant when they said he was a skirt chaser. I finally was seeing it firsthand; he showed no interest in the girl for months, but suddenly now he will lay on the charm. I couldn't help but think that it had something to do with the almost kiss we had the other night. Did it mean nothing to him? Was it truly not supposed to be a kiss? Was this his way of saying he did not care for me like I thought he did?
He didn't seem the type to go about such a feat indirectly, I would have assumed if he wanted to say he didn't care about me that way, he'd just say it. And I would have sworn that he wouldn't have danced with me, and he wouldn't have kept looking at my lips and leaning in if he didn't want to kiss me, right?
Did I do something wrong maybe? No, He hasn't been angry with me at all today, he has treated me no different after it happened Saturday, nor did he treat me any different for most of the day. I was starting to question everything, going back and forth on whether he was trying to kiss me or not. Maybe I did falsely interpret everything about the situation?
I wasn't sure what was truly going on, all I did know was I was suffering from the side effects of an unrequited love, and I wished nothing more than to be swallowed up by the ground below me. After the bell rang, Ace walked off with Holly leaving me to walk to Eyeball's locker alone, meeting up with him and Beverly.
"Where's Ace?" He asked, as he shut his locker, and wrapped an arm around Beverly as we started to walk down the hall.
"He walked off with Holly Wilson." I said softly, looking down at the floor. I was met with silence, the worst kind of silence, it was the pitying kind.
"That won't last." Beverly said, trying to cheer me up, I'm sure. I looked up at her with tired eyes as I met her gaze. Something was behind her eyes, she knew something I didn't, I perked up a little knitting my eyebrows together as we remained eye contact.
She looked up at Eyeball, before silently mouthing to me, a 'I'll tell you later'. Eyeball chatted loudly to us about what Charlie, Vince and he did this weekend. Something about them out playing a few older guys at the bar, and winning a lot of money off them. Though I am sure the story was interesting I didn't really care about it enough to pay attention.
My world felt like it was on fire right now, and I just wanted to figure out a little bit of what was going on! As soon as Beverly and I were tucked away in Home Ec. where the glares and stares were still going strong, I pulled her to our normal kitchenette we use.
"Alright what the hell is going on?!" I whispered to her between grabbing the necessary ingredients for our task of the day. She looked around uncomfortably, but I pulled her attention back.
"Bev, just tell me I'm tired of the stares." I hissed out, turning the oven on for preheating.
"Will is saying you two went all the way, homecoming night." She blurted, not making eye contact with me as she took out the necessary pans and a pot.
"What?!" I almost screeched, nearly dropping a bowl in the process. I caught it in time and set it on the counter gently trying to avoid, breaking anything in this class.
"You two left together early that night, and he came back into the gym looking disheveled. He told everyone he was taking you to his house, to finish what you started." She explained.
"We did no such thing!" I huffed, opening some ingredient bags more viciously than necessary.
"You guys did leave together. And he did look like he got something."
I finally caught on to the tone in her voice. I looked over at Beverly, an eyebrow raised. Her tone was bitter, and accusatory, and I was thinking I was imagining it until I caught the look of distrust on her face. My heart gave another painful jab, as I looked at my friend, feeling kind of betrayed.
"Bev, I can't believe it. You too? You're my best friend Bev, you know me better than that." I said quietly, continuing our work in silence, as I now knew what she thought of me. We worked side by side, not even looking over at each other for a few minutes, before I felt a soft touch to my arm. I flinched instinctively but covered it up the best I could.
"You're right I'm sorry, it's just, it looked very convincing." Bev said softly. I looked over at her, searching her eyes, and seeing nothing but regret, proving she was being honest with me. I went back to our meal preparation, this time a little relieved, before going over the shortened story of that night.
"He said he would drive me home, and when he tried to have his way in the car, I fought him off, and walked off on my own. We didn't do anything."
Beverly looked at me with wide eyes and laid another hand on my shoulder.
"I really am sorry, I shouldn't have let rumors convince me, I should know enough about the rumors here."
I gave her a disbelieving look teasingly, but it was met with large blue eyes that looked ready to spill out tears.
"Oh, alright I forgive you, I am just so frustrated with the rest of this school, and Will, and my parents…" I trailed off, thinking about all the crap I had to endure this weekend.
"And Ace?" Bev asked. I thought about my hurt feelings over the blonde, but I knew I wasn't angry or frustrated with him. Maybe frustrated with the situation, but not at him.
"No, not with Ace, just a little hurt, but that's my own fault. Everyone warned me, he said himself too, I should have known better than to like him more than a friend." I whispered, feeling that dark sinking feeling come back over my stomach. I was regretting not closing the gap between us myself, maybe things would be different if I just went that extra inch.
"If it's any consolation, I think he really does like you." Bev whispered to me, with a soft smile. I popped out my hip and gave her a disbelieving look, holding up my wooden spoon in a warning. She laughed and bumped her hip into my own.
"I'm serious the guy looks at you like you're some type of angel, and Richard says so too. Ace is just being dumb right now." She concluded, with a small shrug. I nodded slowly but I didn't want to believe it too much, I gave my hopes up too much thus far, it was time to come down from my cloud, and lick my wounds.
"Enough talk of Ace. We got a pasta dinner to complete."
We were able to focus on our assignment the rest of class and managed to receive a praise from our teacher for our delicious dish. In the next class Bev showed me the more protective side of her. There were a few girls once again looking over at me with those catty glares, and whispering amongst themselves none too quietly.
She gave them her own glare, and said with a stomp of her foot forward, towards them in a threatening manner. "What are y'all staring at?"
The girls faced forward after that and minded their own business for the rest of the class. I gave her a small pat on the back in thanks, as we continued with our last class. Once the bell rung, I was out though, not wanting to spend any extra time surrounded by malicious girls, and disgusting boys.
Weirdly enough I was relieved to be home where all I had was a bipolar mom, and a brick wall to skirt around. Mom was at least in a good mood today, but that also meant she was in a talkative mood. She started asking me how my day was, if I was doing well in school, and even wanting details about Beverly, since she realized she doesn't know much about this friend.
She scrunched her nose up a bit, while explaining Beverly to her, which I gave her a look for.
"Sorry hun, it's just, is she really being a good influence on you."
I crossed my arms and gave her a look of disapproval.
"Mom, Beverly is sweet, and a good person. Just because you don't know her last name doesn't mean she's an undesirable." I told her, walking off towards the kitchen ready to end this conversation.
"I'm sorry dear, it's just that I have heard about her, she was friends with a girl who got pregnant last year."
I have to hand it to my mom; she must be getting real buddy-buddy with the ladies down at the market or hair salons since she was hearing all sorts of gossip that normally I thought would stick to the schools.
"You don't know the whole story, and Beverly isn't Tammy, so don't treat her badly just cause her friend made a mistake. Remember there is only a 16-year age difference between you and I." I warned, giving her a pointed look. She opened her mouth to argue, but shut it soon after, and rubbed her hands down her dress.
"I just don't want you making those kinds of mistakes is all." She sniffed, her nose in the air, avoiding the topic of her own miss deeds. I faced away from her to grab a glass and fill it with water to drink.
"Don't worry about me, I am not going to be getting pregnant anything soon." I huffed, annoyed with the accusations she has already made about my friends.
"You never know hun, even safe sex isn't fool proof."
"Mother! I haven't even been with a guy in that way yet." I mumbled embarrassedly, my cheeks starting to flush bright pink.
"Really?"
I looked over at her incredulously at her honest question. What did I even do to make her think I have been with a boy or two before?
"Yes mom, really. Now if you excuse me I had a long day, and I just want some rest." I said, pinching the bridge of my nose to keep away the coming headache. I just needed some space and time alone to think, away from my mother's prying eyes, and nagging questions.
I ran up to my room soon after and locked myself away in there. Laying on my bed hugging my pillow to my chest, I finally allowed myself to cry. I didn't know what to do, I hated being the center of attention, and here I was with nothing but eyes on me in school. Even some teachers were looking at me funny!
I was being called a whore, slut, and who knows what else behind my back, just cause Will was mad at me for shoving him away, and not giving in to his needs. Bev even believed the rumors a little bit, before we had that discussion, so I know that everyone is eating that shit up. I don't know if Ace or Eyeball heard anything about it yet; I know they aren't in that crowd with Will and them, but these gossipers weren't ones to keep quiet either.
And to make the day worse, Ace seemed to grow some interest in that perfect little Holly girl. I hated to admit it, but I was jealous of her, not because of her clothes, or how rich she was, but she was undeniably beautiful. She was tall for a girl, with a large bust, and thin waist. If that wasn't enough, she also had this long natural bright blonde hair that was perfectly straight and these sky blue eyes that most men go gaga for.
It shouldn't shock me that Ace fell for that too, even if it was just out of lust, I really was hoping he would be better than that. Or more so I just wished he looked at me like how Bev claims he did. I have looked into Ace's eyes a million times and never once have I seen this claim of him looking at me in any kind of way other than teasing or friendly.
'Just be happy he's your friend.' I told myself over and over. I had no right to be crying over him, it wasn't like he was mine to begin with, I just happened to let my feelings get too strong too soon. I should have known better! Ace wouldn't be interested in me, I had no wow features, I was short, my hair was nothing special in color or style, and my eyes weren't bright enough to catch much attention from anybody.
Why would he like someone so dull? Especially when there are girls like Holly Wilson, and Barbara Windham pawing at him any chance they got. A man is only a man after all, and Ace told me himself he is the kind of guy to only show enough interest in a girl to get his own enjoyment out of them.
Of course he is going to eventually play with the bubbly blonde, practically pressing her chest in his face at least once a week in Literature.
I rolled over to my stomach and slammed my head down in the soft mattress with a groan. I just wanted the thoughts to go away, I didn't want to think about Ace and what he was doing with these other girls. I really shouldn't be so jealous of them right now, I wanted respect and love from a man, not mindless lust.
I sighed and focused on that more. Beverly said she bet what Holly and Ace have won't last long, so maybe I should focus on that. Maybe he will get what he wants, and in a day or two, Holly Wilson will be history, and I will have my best friend back.
Though it was pitiful, it did calm my nerves enough for me to relax in my bed. Yes, everything will just go back to normal in a day or two, and it will be like nothing ever happened.
