2 Year Later
I was nervously preparing supper for John and me to enjoy once he finally got home. He always came home right around supper time since he started putting in longer hours at the shop the past few months. This gave me some extra time to settle on how I was going to break the news to him, but even more time to worry, and stress about it all.
Normally I'd get off work around 3:30 or 4; working as a librarian in the schools had its perks. I often got to leave not too long after the students do, and I was able to work with what I loved. However today I left early to make it to a doctor's appointment. I haven't been feeling the best lately, and it's been making John worry.
At the appointment though I found out the reason for my random sickness and the more frequent dizzy spells wasn't due to some stomach bug, flu, or my anemia acting up. No, instead I was pregnant. The problem was this wasn't in the plan! We took every precaution we could; we even tried to stay abstinent in the beginning of our relationship, and after we moved. However, sleeping in the same bed together for almost a year proved that to be a losing battle.
We moved out as soon as we graduated, just as we planned. My mom quite literally didn't speak to me until that day when she figured out, I was dead serious about moving out. She begged me not to go with him, but I am someone who stays true to their word. I took only a few personal items, and the clothes I really cared to wear, leaving the nicer ones She and Tom bought me in the closet.
Before we all knew it, I was officially out of their lives. I did call the home phone and give our number to them, just in case she ever did need to get ahold of me. We have been out on our own for over a year now and she never has contacted me, so I am unsure if she even bothered to write it down. No one can hold a grudge quite like my mom, is what I found out.
However now would be the time I really wished I had a mom that didn't hate my guts, cause I was freaking out! We haven't ever discussed kids, I don't even know if he even wanted any in the first place! We weren't even married, and now I wasn't so sure if he would want to be. John didn't like to be forced into anything, and the pressure of marriage now that I got a bun in the oven, might be something that will push him away.
It's not like he has been pulling away already, quite the opposite really. We have been going strong, and things have been well. We had a small fight here and there, but nothing that wasn't solved within a couple hours, and mostly only happened due to stress for one or both of us. Even now with him working extra hours, he hasn't seemed distant at all. I was worried when he first mentioned having to work longer for a few months; I panicked a bit truthfully.
That was one of the first signs of a cheating spouse, but other than him coming home a couple hours later than he normally did, nothing else changed. He was always here by 7:30 for supper, and when he was here we had a great time together, whether we just sat together and talked about our day or did something more productive.
A few nights he would turn on our radio and dance with me around the sparse living room, making me feel like I was the most beautiful girl in the world. He has done this more frequently even since he has been working later too; saying he just wanted to remind me that he did it all for me.
I had no reason to worry that he was straying, I was just worrying that if he didn't want kids, that now he might want to hightail it out of here. I was going to balloon up, and kids were expensive. They also required room, our little house would be fine for now but in a few years from now it might be a completely different story!
I started to fan my face trying to get the tears to dry up faster, I did not want to be red and puffy eyed when he finally came in. And I really didn't want to cry salty tears into our meal, if I was going to break the news, it was going to be done looking as pretty as I could manage, with delicious food to keep it gentle.
Just as I was setting down the final steaming plate at our small table, I heard the door open and close.
"Something smells great!" I heard him call out as he walked through the living room to reach our small kitchen. I patted down my skirt, and straightened my top out of nerves, and smiled when I saw him appear in the door way.
He was handsome as ever, letting his hair grow out just a bit with no grease to slick it back, and his stubble was now grown out into a full beard. I walked over to him and gave him a hug and a kiss on his cheek.
"Welcome home, how was work?" I asked, trying to act as normal as possible, but I knew I was speaking a little faster than necessary.
"Busy, but that just means business is good. What's all this for?" He asked gesturing to the outfit and table. I did normally make dinner when I got home, but I guess I did go a bit overboard cooking his favorite, and more tedious options. Coupled with my nicer clothes I usually only wore for church service or a special school event, it was a bit obvious something else was up.
"What? I can't want to look good and prepare your favorite meal every once in a while?" I questioned, lamely trying to avoid the subject at hand for a little while longer. He raised an eyebrow in a disbelieving look.
"Okay I do have a bit of news." I caved, bringing my thumb up to bite on the nail. I turned around and led him to the table, taking a seat in my chair as he slowly sunk down In his looking at me expectantly.
"At least eat a little bit first." I told him. He took his eyes off me for a short while as he cut into the steak on his plate and placed a few bites into his mouth. After the third bite though he slowly set the silverware back on the plate.
"It's great Robin, but I am much more interested to know what has got you all worked up." He said, fixing a stare back on me.
I looked towards my own plate avoiding his gaze, not sure how to start this kind of conversation. Until his warm hand laid softly on top of mine. I looked back up at him, his face seemed blank, but like always his eyes said everything for me.
"Just say it, I'm sure whatever it is, we can handle it fine." He said calmly, squeezing my hand in his a couple times. I stared into his eyes, and nodded, it was time to just come out and say it.
"I went to the doctor today, about my recent problems." I started, looking between him and our food, the look on his face slowly dropped into a concerned frown, as the look of worry crossed his features. It was a rare occasion for John Merrill to seem worried about anything.
"What did the doctor say? Is everything alright? Are you really sick?" He asked rapidly, his words almost melding together. I gave him a soft smile and patted the top of his hand that held mine with my free hand.
"I'm fine, I'm not sick." I promised. His whole body sunk back in relief, squeezing my hand once more.
"Alright, then what did he say?" He asked, more confidently now.
"I'm pregnant." I whispered shakily. He stared back at me his eyes blinking a few times, trying to register what I have just said. I grew nervous by the lack of response and pulled my hand away from his to wring my own two hands together.
"I know we didn't plan anything so soon; we haven't even had the talk about kids yet. And we were trying to be so careful, but I think that one night when we took that shower together," I trailed off thinking back to that night.
It was a rather rough day at work for John, and I wanted to cheer him up and help him relax. Which started out with me giving him a back massage, and ended up in a shared shower, which quickly turned into a passionate session where we didn't even think about protection.
I myself, didn't think about it at all until I started to feel sick, and figured out the reason why at the doctors.
"I'm really sorry John." I said softly, looking down at the table, too afraid of what he may look like right now. I also didn't want him to see the tears that were starting to fall from my eyes.
"Why are you sorry?" He asked.
I raised my eyes up at him slightly unsure.
"Because I didn't think you wanted this."
"Why wouldn't I want this?" He asked, before snatching my hand right back up, and pulling it to his chest.
"Maybe we didn't plan on it so soon, but I always thought having a family of our own was inevitable. Sure it would have been more convenient a little later down the road, but I am not any less happy about it." He assured me.
I gave him a watery smile, "really?" I asked, my voice still breaking a bit.
He grinned wide and pulled me over to sit in his lap, placing a gentle hand to my stomach. It doesn't show any physical signs of a baby just yet, but it will grow in the next few months.
"Of course, I told you, I want you, everything you have to offer, this was the eventual plan anyway, it just came a bit early." He assured me, and let me rest my head on his shoulder, comforted in his embrace.
"Actually, there is something else." He said standing us both up and then gesturing me to sit back in the chair, holding out a single finger as he left the kitchen. I waited patiently, and curiously for his return, which was only a few seconds later with his jacket in hand, fishing through one of the pockets.
When he finally got a hold on what he was searching for he laid his light jacket over the back of one of the other chairs at the table, then turned back to me.
I tried to get a look of what he had in his hand but he kept it hidden slightly behind his back, blocking it from my view. Once he was right in front of me once again, I went to stand but he placed a hand on my shoulder to keep me seated in my chair. He then kneeled down to the floor, and I was about to question why until he brought his hand back out to reveal a small velvety looking box.
My eyes widened, and I went to speak, but he cut me off.
"I was planning this for months now, I was going to wait to take you back to our spot where we shared our first dance, but this is as good a place as any I suppose." He laughed off nervously, effectively getting me to close my mouth and just smile at the man.
My heart was pounding a hundred miles a minute, I swear. Seeing him on one knee with a little black box in his hand, was something I fantasized about for a long while, but I thought it would still be a year or two before I finally got to see it.
"I know the timing is a little off, but I knew I was going to marry you as soon as I realized I loved you. I've even been working later the past three months, to get this ring for the occasion." John said opening up the little box to reveal a dainty gold band with a small, gorgeous crystal in its clasp. I let out a surprised little yelp when I saw the ring, realizing that this was truly happening.
"It's a bit plain, and small now, but I figured if I worked late a few more months, I could eventually get you a bigger rock."
I shook my head, "No it's perfect, I love it!" I exclaimed. I knew I had nothing to worry about with him working late, but it just warmed my heart up even more knowing it was all to afford an engagement ring.
He grinned pulling the ring out of the box, and holding it between his fingers.
"Will you Marry me?" He asked.
"Yes! Yes, yes, yes!" I exclaimed, nearly cutting him off, as I was buzzing with excitement in my seat. He gingerly grabbed my hand and slipped the ring onto the correct finger, fitting perfectly. He clearly has done his research to make sure it would be the correct size.
As soon as the ring was in place, I wrapped my arms around his neck pulling him into a tight hug. He stood pulling me up with him, to not break the embrace, and placed his lips firmly upon mine. We stayed like that for a little while, the kiss becoming deeper and a little more heated with every passing second.
"I think we should go and celebrate, in the bedroom." He coaxed, already starting to drag us off towards where our room would be.
"Well, I guess the damage is already done, can't hurt us now." I conceded with a giggle, and he swept me up into his arms, and ran us to our shared bed.
That night was a reminder for me, a reiteration of my previous thoughts back when we were newly dating. I knew we were going to be alright, and we were going to get through everything together.
