"You know Sash, If you don't want to talk about it, you could just say that. Like… That's literally what Anne's note said. Take the time you need."

Marcy sat opposite of her, drinking her own cups of water, though judging by her lack of obvious pain, her hangover wasn't quite as bad as hers.

Her other free hand was over one of Sasha's. Gently and soothing.

On her own part, Sasha's hands were gripped around her coffee mug.

Her 7th mug.

Her hands were still shaking. Not a good sign.

She'd told Anne. She'd kept her mouth shut to Anne and Marcy about her parents for every single year between 7 and 24. 17 years now.

Someone born back then would be just one year shy of adulthood now.

Over 6000 days.

And then in one, single night, after a stupid drinking game, she'd gotten piss drunk and told Anne… She didn't know what.

All she remembered was that she'd talked about high school, and then… God knows how they'd changed the topic to it, but she'd suddenly started blabbering about her mom.

She didn't remember what she'd said, but she remembered bawling her eyes out, and Anne's hand on her face. Anne's gentle, warm hand.

There was only one thing related to her mom that could possibly have caused that reaction in Sasha.

That would have been pretty bad if it had been one of her friends. But it wasn't just a friend. It was her.

Anne knew about her mom.

That one, single fact cut through every single other question about what she might have said.

The one, single person Sasha NEVER wanted to talk about to anyone for so long as she lived.

And Anne knew.

Sasha looked Marcy in the eyes, so similar to Anne's in color, but also so different.

There was warmth, and care, and compassion in those eyes. It was the eyes of someone who truly loved her… But there was also curiosity in them, a kind she would not have seen in Anne's in a similar situation.

A part of her really wanted to know what it was that worried Sasha so much.

Sasha hadn't told her details, just that she'd gotten drunk, and told Anne some… Sensitive things about her parents. That part was true enough.

Maybe she… No. No, she needed to deal with Anne first. She could not deal with Marcy knowing about it too. Not now. Not yet.

"I…" How to explain it? How to explain that she… HAD to talk to Anne about this. That it wasn't something she could just let lie as it was.

She could not just go on about business like usual. God… Had this happened two days later Sasha would have had to go to work like this.

No, she needed to talk with Anne.

Scratch that. She needed Anne's support. Her warmth.

She knew from very personal experience(Along with her own studies on human psychology) that the absolutely worst thing she could do right now was shut herself off and try to deal with this on her own.

She didn't know how to explain that feeling to Marcy. Not in words. At least not right now.

So she changed tactics.

"I… I've been putting this off for… Way too long Marcy."

That part was also true. She HAD been putting this off, and off and off. Indefinitely in fact.

"I need to talk to Anne about it. And… Delaying it, even more, won't help."

Marcy squeezed Sasha's hand and gave her a sympathetic and warm smile.

"Well… If you say so Sash. You're the psychologist after all! I'm… I'm honestly not entirely sure WHY this is so important to you… But it's Anne! She'll help you sort it out, NO problem!"

I


Anne had a suspicion she'd get a message at work from Sasha, and sure enough, she got one, asking her if she'd be okay with Sasha crashing at Anne's place until she got home.

She did not specify that she wanted to talk about Yesterday, but she did not need to do so.

She simply typed "Sure".

The weather as her shift was over, was overcast, and sure enough, as she began driving, it began to rain. In fact, it began to rain, a LOT.

As she drove up to her personal parking spot, she looked up at the sky as if that was going to do anything, then finally she sighed.

Yep, she was gonna get soaked on the way in.

And true enough, as she finally got through the entrance, she was absolutely drenched. Great.

3 floors of stairs later, she pulled out her keys… Then realized that the door was unlocked. Sasha hadn't locked it.

As she opened the door, she found Sasha sitting on her bed, absently playing with her cat Checkers. Both she and the little kitty looked up as she entered. The cat gave a "Mreow" at seeing her, then went right back to playing with the toy Sasha held and moved in one hand.

Sasha though, instead just gave a smile, that did not reach her eyes, which seemed… Worried.

"Hi, Anne." Sasha's voice and tone was… Well, weak was the word to describe it. Like she was really, really out of it.

"Yo Sash." She said, with way more enthusiasm and warmth.

"Just give me a minute to dry and get changed kay?"

"Sure…"

It actually took her about 4 minutes, before she exited, now wearing an outfit composed of a white, armless shirt, and a purple skirt that went down to her knees, both of them with a pattern of purple squares over them.

Before she sat down on the bed, she pulled out a simple ball in a circle toy from a drawer.

"Hey Checkers! Look at this."

She gently pushed the ball so it went around the circle.

The young cat's eyes went round before it pounced and began batting the ball so it circled around, then did it again, only in the opposite direction.

"There. That should keep him occupied for half an hour or so. He's WILD for that toy."

Sasha didn't immediately answer her, instead just glancing around the room, on the walls, her 2 drawers, the table with the PC, and her fridge. Her eyes last went to the litter box in the corner.

It wasn't exactly cluttered, being big enough that you could comfortably walk around despite everything in it, but it wasn't exactly big and spacious either.

Not counting the bathroom in a side room, and the balcony, she'd pegged it as being about as big as the balcony of Sasha's apartment.

As Sasha looked around, Anne wondered if maybe that was what Sasha thought too, but instead, Sasha said;

"Sooo… Don't take this the wrong way Anne, but… Isn't this place a bit small for a cat?"

Both women's eyes turned to Checkers.

"Nah. Well… Okay, I don't think Domino would have liked it at all, but Checkers likes it just fine. He hates the outside, and so long as he's got toys, he's always happy."

Sasha nodded, seemingly accepting the answer.

For a period they just sat there in silence, the only sound being the hum of the air conditioner up on the wall, the sounds of Checkers batting the ball in circles again, and again, and the small but endless drumming of the rain on the window.

Anne didn't say anything, she just looked at Sasha with a supportive expression, giving her the time she needed to find the words.

"Sooo…." Sasha finally began after a long, loooong silence.

"I… Christ this is hard… Like… I don't know where the hell to start with all this." As she talked she pinched her brow, rubbing it furiously.

Anne felt her hands go down and grasp Sasha's other hand in a tender, gentle grip.

"Sasha… It's alright. I get it. If you don't wanna talk about this… That's fine. Don't force yourself. If you don't want me to know more about this that's-"

"That's the problem though, Anne." Sasha said, turning to face her.

As she spoke, her face took on a grimace.

"You… You do know now."

After a few moments of the two just staring into each other's eyes, Sasha's gaze folded and went down.

"...You know... About my mom…"

Anne gave her hand a supporting squeeze, then she leaned forward and slowly pressed her forehead against Sasha's.

Sasha's blue eyes again met her brown ones.

"...I love you, Sasha. You deserve love."

Sasha blinked. Then pulled back.

"Oh... Of course… That's…"

As she talked there was a brief smile that along with the hint of tears at the corners of her eyes, reminded her of the one Sasha had given her right before they walked into Darcy's trap a decade ago, only completely empty of any mirth.

"Of course, that's what you… Thanks, Anne. That… That means a LOT to me, but… That wasn't what I was thinking about right now."

"It… Wasn't?"

Sasha took a deep breath to calm herself, and as she continued, the voice was unsteady and she spoke haltingly, but it seemed like she finally knew what she wanted to say.

"Look… Anne… I get what you're saying. I… I also agree that yeah, there are lots of times when you… Need to take your time with stuff… Hell… I do that all the time with the kids at work… let them speak when they're ready and all that… But… I can't do that with you… I CAN'T do that with this… I… I can't pretend that you don't know and go about my day, okay…? Not about THIS… Not about… Not about her."

She wiped away the traces of tears from the sides of her eyes before she continued, and as she did, her voice got stronger, more full of passion.

"That's… One of the reasons I didn't want you to know about this shit!... So… Please just… Listen okay? I… I need you to Understand this… Like… Not just bits and pieces from my drunken ramblings."

Anne gave her hand another squeeze and nodded.

"Alright. I'll listen."

Inside, she felt several feelings, not too dissimilar to last night. Pity and compassion for just how broken up Sasha seemed about this, a burning anger at her parents for doing it to her, to begin with, and a desire to help this woman she loved so much.

At her affirmation, a lot of the tension seemed to go out of Sasha. Then, after a brief pause, she began.

"Well… The start's as good a place to begin as any I suppose… Anne… Do you… Remember my mom? Like… At all?"

She hesitated. Then…

"A bit."

"Alright… You remember how she was back then with you and Marcy? A nice… sweet lady?"

Anne did NOT like where this was going.

But… Sasha WAS right. That was how she'd remembered her. Up until last night, it was how she'd always thought of her.

"Yeah… That's how she looked to me… I… I guess that's not how she was at home."

It was not meant as a question, but Sasha immediately disproved it with a snort.

"No… She was… That… Kinda made what happened worse…"

Sasha looked out the window.

"I… I really looked up to her, you know… It's so stupid looking back at it, but… I really did… I was a real Mama's girl… thought my mom was the best person in the world…"

She let the silence hang before continuing.

"When I think back… I… I… Can't remember a time back then where it didn't seem like I wasn't my mom's pride and joy… And… That made me SO happy..."

She squeezed her eyes shut.

"Then suddenly one day, she just… Flipped. At least that's how it seemed to me back then… I… I can remember it… It was something stupid, a vase or something, maybe a plate… I don't remember… but… Well I was coming home from playing, and I was excited, and I… Well… I accidentally broke it…"

She paused. Anne, who had been disciplined for similar incidents many times in her childhood, guessed that unlike what she got from her parents, Sasha's discipline was probably of the "Disproportionate" kind.

"And she just… Went off on me. Like… Holy shit… She didn't even punish me in the end. She just… She stood there and roared at me until her voice got hoarse for 15 minutes, then stomped off."

"That's… That's awful."

Sasha opened her eyes again, once more looking out at the rain.

"Yeah… It was. And well… I had no fucking clue what had just happened. Why my mom was suddenly roaring at me. Like… I'd broken stuff before… Okay, a LOT of stuff… And frankly, the discipline I got before that point was… Well, it was actual parenting."

She made the last part sound exceptionally bitter.

"Anyway… I was completely in tears, and I went to my room and cried, because of course I did… I was 7."

She sighed.

"Well… I stupidly hoped that it was just a one-off thing. Most kids do in that situation… It never is. And it wasn't this time either. It happened again, and then again... Didn't matter what it was… Like… She just went off for the smallest thing… and also... "

She waved her free hand in a way Anne wasn't sure how to interpret.

"Well… the thing is… The time between that stupid vase, and when the divorce began? It wasn't even a month."

Anne blinked. Even as horrified as she was hearing Sasha talk about all this, that fact, genuinely blew her away.

"Wait… Not even a month? That's…"

"Not a lot of time?" Sasha gave her a broken smile.

"Yeah. It REALLY wasn't. Of course… That wasn't how it actually was… After I got back from Amphibia… I talked to my dad about it. As it turned out… The two of them had been going through a breakup for half a year by that point… The day with the broken vase? That was the day they finally just gave up."

The broken smile remained as she continued with a shaky voice that sounded like she was on the verge of crying.

"Of course… I didn't know jack shit about that at the time. To me… to my 7-year mind… It seemed like… EVERYTHING, just… Disintegrated before my eyes for no damn reason!"

"Oh Sash…"

She tried to lean in to hug her, but Sasha stopped her, a shaky, put strong palm preventing her from leaning forward.

"Just… Let me finish okay? I… I need to finish this… Now… Before…"

She didn't finish that sentence, and instead just took a deep, deep breath before continuing.

"Anyway… We… We went to Mom's hometown… For… For the divorce… I… Stayed with my Gran for those two months, barely seeing my parents at all… Not knowing, or understanding anything that was going on before… Before…"

Tears began to form in her eyes. Real, genuine tears.

"During the last day... I… I went to meet my parents… That was… That was the last time we ever were together Anne…"

She didn't need to say more. Anne knew what had happened.

"And my mom… she… she…"

And that was as far as Sasha got.

She began crying, loud, raw sobs, as the tears just began to flow.

Anne immediately put her hands around her, in a tight embrace, which the crying woman immediately melted into.

Sasha just cried into Anne's shoulder. She cried and cried, and Anne never stopped hugging her with all her passion and strength.

Her right hand went up and began stroking the back of her head from behind. Slowly, but firmly, and with soothing caresses, she kept moving her fingers through Sasha's golden hair.

Sasha's wailing sobs did eventually begin to ebb down, but she began speaking long before that

"She… She... Didn't… Want me... Anne… She never did…" Almost every word was punctuated by a sob.

Anne did not know what to say. She had no idea what she could possibly say to help Sasha. The only thing she knew she had to do, was that she needed to keep hugging Sasha and keep giving her her warmth and love.

To show her that she was indeed loved.

Sasha eventually did stop continually sobbing, though the tears didn't stop, instead continuing to flow down on Anne's shoulder.

"Mom… She… Said…"

"I know what she said Sasha…" She said gently, as she kept hugging Sasha and caressing her hair.

"And she was wrong. I love you. Marcy Loves you... Grime loves you. You deserve to be loved."

Sasha gave a particularly raw sob when Anne mentioned Grime's name, but other than that, her sobs were quiet things. Instead, she kept clinging to Anne like she was the only real thing in the entire world.

I


Sasha looked up at Anne's face as she continued to talk, all the while Anne stroked her hair.

It was… Weird, but… Not in a bad way.

Anne had offered to let her rest her head in her lap, as Sasha just lay sideways on the bed, with Anne sitting with her legs out on the side of the bed. Checkers had also decided that her body was the perfect place to sleep, and was currently in a ball on her stomach.

Overall it was… Nice. That was really the best way to describe it.

It was comfortable, and… She felt safe. Secure. And loved. It was Nice.

"Well… I didn't learn the full details until after Amphibia… Like I said, I talked a lot more with my dad after that… About her… About how it all went wrong."

"I can't believe he waited almost 10 years to do that! What, did he NEVER try to talk about it with you back then?"

Sasha smiled at her righteous indignation. It was a tired smile, but unlike the one she had when talking, it was genuine.

"Well… He was kinda a shitty dad."

"That's like saying Andrias was kinda a dick to Marcy."

Sasha… Understood the rage in her voice. Her anger at the man. She had been full of that once.

Before Amphibia. Before she had learned to truly forgive even though it could be so, so hard.

Another thing she could thank Anne for.

The relationship between her and her dad… Had never truly recovered from the divorce. There were some wounds that nothing could truly heal… Not even forgiveness.

But she had been able to move past the anger and hatred she had had for him once.

They weren't truly close now… But that was okay. Being able to finally just… Let go of the hate she'd felt towards him and just… Talk together… That had been so much better than letting that hate fuel her like she had for years on end in middle school.

She was okay with the way things stood.

She just wished that she could do the same with her mother.

She couldn't though. Not completely. And she had to live with that fact.

"Yeah… But in regards to mom… Well… The thing is, that I wasn't a child either of them had planned for."

She hesitated, just for a moment. But it was Anne. She wouldn't laugh.

"The condom broke."

"I see… So… Your mom…"

"...She never wanted me…" Inside, she felt that void stir again. Nowhere as powerful as it had been when she said the exact same words an hour ago… But it was there.

She sighed. There was another wound that would never, fully heal.

"But… She had me anyway. Because my dad asked her to. Pretty much… Everything nice she ever did for me? It was because she loved my dad… And… Back then… She wanted that relationship to work… So, so badly… And if that meant being a mom… Well… She did have me."

Actions spoke louder than words and all that.

"At least that's dad's take on it all. And frankly? I believe him. He understood her in so many ways I never did."

It wasn't the fact that she wasn't planned that tore Sasha so. She didn't care about that part. Only how it played into the ultimate point.

That her mom, who she had loved, and respected, and looked up to so, so much… Had never truly loved her back. That knife had left its mark on her, much, much deeper than even the huge scar on her back.

"Of course back then… I didn't know any of that. I didn't understand jack shit about what had just happened. The only thing I understood was that my mom was blaming me for absolutely everything going so, so wrong, and my dad didn't defend me. I believed her completely. Of course, I fucking did."

She closed her eyes, remembering the time that followed that day.

There had been two times in her life when she felt as awful as she had back then, or even worse. After her first visit to Newtopia and all that followed with it… And Anne's death…

That… That moment had been the worst pain of her life. Bar none. Nothing, not the pain of Newtopia, not the heartache in High School and beyond, not even the period after the divorce had been as horrible as that…

Of course, the difference was that that moment had been short, and had been washed away by the incredible joy that followed Anne's resurrection, while all the rest had been drawn out, depressing affairs.

"That… That was the last time I ever saw mom. She just… Destroyed me, and then she… Left."

Anne's warm hand stroked her face, gently and with care as she responded.

"I… I'm so sorry you had to go through that Sash. I… I really am."

Her girlfriend took a deep breath, then continued.

"I… Can't change the past Sasha. But I'm here for you now and… And if you'll have me? I'll be here for you always. I promise."

Have her? There was not a thing in the world, Sasha would rather have than Anne, her love, and her all-encompassing warmth.

She opened her eyes and grinned up at Anne, catching one of her hands in her own.

"I will."

She closed her eyes again, but the grin remained.

This warmth… How had she ever let herself lose it? This sun of warmth that was Anne Boonchuy.

She lay there for a while, maybe 10-20 minutes, still wearing that stupid grin, all the while feeling the tension just… Seemingly melt away to nothing under that incredible warmth. Until she did realize there was one question she had wondered about that had yet to be addressed.

"Hey, Anne?"

"Yeah?"

"Yesterday, after the contest… How the heck did we go from talking about High school to talking about… My mom?"

"...You don't remember?"

"I was drunk off my ass, babe. I kinda tend to forget some minor details when I'm drunk."

"Well… We were chatting about how you stopped being touchy-feely with me in High School. We were like that for years, and then just… One day, you stopped completely."

Ah. Her damned fear of rejection. That was how she'd let herself lose her back then.

"And when you were trying to explain what had changed, I asked if that was around the time you fell in love with me. And then you told me "Nah, I've been heads over heels for you since I was 9" or something along those lines. Might have been a slightly different wording."

For a moment, Sasha just lay there. Then she felt her cheeks go red, slowly, but surely, until her entire face felt like it burned.

When she opened her eyes, Anne looked down at her with a very, very sly look on her face.

"Ah… So… I told you the… Full… Story then? From… Beginning to end?"

"Yes. A bit abridged but… I got all the important stuff."

Well, that was…

Anne grinned at her. That wonderful, that even now, could take her breath away if Anne gave it her all.

"I think it's sweet Sash. Kinda sappy… But I like sappy."

Sasha felt like her cheeks were suddenly even warmer than they had been.

"I mean… I did fall for you just 3 years later after all, so I'm not that much different."

Wait… What?