While waking in the morning and Karma still being beside him may have been a rare occurrence, arriving home and finding Karma there wasn't all that strange. Though it was a little strange that he was already passed out on the bed.
Gakushuu had known he'd felt something, or rather someone watching him in his office earlier that day. He'd waited for Karma to reveal himself, his focus firmly glued to his work, but eventually the feeling had simply disappeared. That, like Karma already being asleep, was odd as well. Usually, he would get bored and make his presences known before too long but Gakushuu now assumed that he'd come here instead.
Perhaps he was just tired, thought Gakushuu. Karma was rather pale and although he was often like that, he hadn't so much as flinched when Gakushuu had turned on the light. Well. At least he'd had the foresight to take off his shoes before laying himself over the width of the bed and falling asleep. And he most certainly was asleep this time.
He was on his side, legs drawn up slightly, hair falling over his eyes, mouth slightly hanging open just enough that Gakushuu could see the wet inside of his lips.
He turned away from Karma abruptly. If he continued as he had been he would probably be standing there all night. He suppressed a sigh and went about preparing for bed, showering and putting on his pajamas.
As he moved around the house Karma didn't so much as stir. Gakushuu could imagine what kind of arduous bounty had rendered him so exhausted but he didn't linger on it. It had been two months since he'd last seen Karma and any number of things could happen in that time.
Stepping back into his bedroom, Karma still hadn't moved an inch. Gakushuu turned off the light and then turned on the bedside table lamp, sitting on the bed.
He watched Karma in silence for a moment, shoulders raising with every steady breath. The shadows created from the warm light of the lamp cast shadows that covered most of his face that Gakushuu would have seen otherwise.
He really was laying in a most inconvenient position, practically cutting the bed in half. Gakushuu could have woken him but then not only would he then have to listen to Karma's sarcastic remarks, but he would also have to take caution. He'd learnt from experience quite a while ago that waking a sleeping assassin wasn't a wise decision. The serrated edge of a knife that he had gotten to his throat had proved as much.
Of course, Karma had backed off the second he realised that Gakushuu was Gakushuu and not an attacker but Gakushuu was rather too tired himself to deal with the hassle.
He leaned back against the headboard, knees bent, feet planted on the bed just inches from his uninvited guest. In this new position, the lamplight peaked under Karma's bangs slightly, painting golden streaks across his eyelids with his lashes.
Gakushuu chalked it up to being overtired and irritated to find Karma hogging his bed but his thoughts drifted to the last time they'd been together. Gakushuu had been sick which was definitely something he endeavoured to forget and instead he thought of the conversation they'd had, the questions Gakushuu had asked despite all sense and reason.
What was it to him if Karma found a way out of his current occupation? What else would he even do? From what Gakushuu could tell, Karma had been at this for so long and since he was so young, that he had little to no experience in anything else. What else could Karma do but kill and open his mouth more often than any reasonable person would?
Then his thoughts strayed a little further. How could things have been if Karma had never reached this point to begin with? If he finished high school and then went on to college and the workforce like everyone else? Gakushuu felt his heart skip a beat. If that had been so, Karma and he would have likely never met. And if they had, it probably would have been as rivals of intelligence.
But...but if they had met, rivals or not...what would that have been like?
No. Stop it.
Gakushuu halted his train of thought dead on its tracks, something he knew he should have done earlier. Why waste his own time thinking about the way things could have been? The simple truth was that they were not. Karma was an assassin. Gakushuu was mired in the world of business. People knew his name, knew his flawless reputation. There was little to no place for a hired killer in his life, let alone time to spend pondering 'what ifs'.
He turned off the lamp, sending the room back into darkness and with another sigh, this one resigned as he laid down beside Karma across the bed.
Studying the other man's face, this time in the dark, Gakushuu's eyes focused in on how Karma"s brow was furrowed ever so slightly. For a moment he thought Karma might have been awake, but seeing how his eyes moved back and forth under his closed eyelids he thought otherwise. He appeared to be dreaming and Gakushuu wondered briefly what about. What were the kind of things that swirled around inside that head while he slept?
Gakushuu raised a hand and pressed a single fingertip to the wrinkle on his forehead, created by his knitted brows. Karma's skin was soft which seemed an odd characteristic for an assassin but it simply was.
Gakushuu shifted his finger up higher, brushing the hair from Karma's forehead back. He paused. There was a bruise, half-hidden in his hairline. It wasn't terribly large but there was cut accompanying it, held together by three stitches. This time it was Gakushuu's brow that furrowed.
While it wasn't so far out of the realm of possibility that Karma had patched himself out, Karma did have the habit of leaving himself and his clothing soiled with blood more often than not. And when he was injured, he seemed to prefer to allow them to heal on their own instead of treating them intently. Of course, this was only what Gakushuu had observed and as observant as he was, there were up to six months at a time in which he saw nothing of Karma.
Who was he to say that Karma always treated his wounds with such flippancy as he had the day he'd suddenly appeared with a broken rib and a face like a bruised peach? Maybe sometimes he was actually reasonable enough to treat his injuries accordingly, or maybe, because it was just as possible as Karma having sewn the stitches himself, someone else had done it. Someone else who knew Karma, perhaps someone from his work side of things.
Gakushuu pulled his hand away, the hair falling back into place. He'd done it again. Let his thoughts stray too far. He wasn't supposed to think about this just like he wasn't supposed to ask questions. He had nothing to gain from it. But still...
He found his hand reaching again, like it had a mind of its own. He brushed back the hair over the cut and scooted forward, pressing his lips to Karma's brow gently. Then he pulled away, laying his head down once more, face only inches from Karma's.
Whoever might have stitched Karma up, whether it be a co-worker, someone of no consequence or even Karma himself, didn't matter in that moment. Just like his questions and thoughts didn't matter. Because Karma was here now, asleep on his bed when he could have been anywhere else. He had chosen not to kill him when that was his task and he had every ability to do so. He'd seen something or felt something that allowed this to happen, something that had led to this entire situation. Something that made it so clear that Karma needed him, or at least, wanted him. Something that they both knew couldn't be.
He could have had a different life and they could have met in a different way. Any other way and that something that was there between truly could have been such; something. And it might have been pointless to think about, but in this moment he could close his eyes and...pretend.
