A/N: Quoting a friend- "Why isn't archive putting up with my review? Why is athenais reporting every writer on archive? A lot of writers are getting banned without any explanation on Ao3. Whatever happened to "don't like, don't read?" Oh, that's right, that only applies when people offer mild constructive criticism after being prompted. OBVIOUSLY that little rule doesn't apply to stories that you personally dislike. THOSE authors should harassed and reported for no reason. Because of course!

Lets be clear an author crying about ''rude'' concrit started this fight by anonymously reviewing JohnnyFennix Lyte & said "don't spam the fandom." All they did was post their sorcerer story. The whole fandom is always called mediocre or rotten by the author who hates concrit, thhe concrit you go was more respectful. Yet Johnny didn't give it to you. Our Fen Blaxon community is big. I'd never ignore concrit to fix unclear dialogu, or only give my readers dumbed down dialogue/grammar/writing. This concrit a expands my horizon.

What was even going on before I gave a certain author concrit, besides that author or her friends anon reviewing JohnyFennixLyte to say Johnny posting a fic was spamming the fandom? And Alaskanwoman25 stalking/following a 25% of Johnny & JP The Fandom Conqueror's fics? Why can't people log to simply fav/follow? It sounds more like an excuse for why Bubblyork's generic profile "fans" don't hype a certain author's fic as much. Even w/ anon reviews.

So y isn't Child of Dreams(whose threat she defended as much as athenias' right to harass) reviewing her? "


Henry and Anne de Shiteleu's relationship was on the rocks. They were fighting all the time because Anne kept inventing new STD's to give him.

"Ah! My manhood!" cried King Henry. "It's turned green! What have you done, you wicked woman!"

Anne whipped her hair over her shoulder and tilted her chin up. She regarded him with a haughty glare. "It seems His Majesty can't handle the world's greatest escort."

"The world's greatest escort may not be long for this world..." he murmured darkly.

Anne was so hormonal and stressed out that she could only escort with a thousand different men per day instead of a million.

Mary stood at her window and looked out at the garden. The cloud of flies swarming around Anne kept dropping dead, and any plants within a six foot radius immediately wilted.

"It seems Anne de Shiteleu's STD's have become airborne," said Mary. "Perhaps my father will execute her or put her away, and a possible male heir won't interfere with my plans..."

At the annual big fancy feast, Anne was now visibly pregnant, and caught the attention of everyone at court. Henry's current wife tried to ignore all the comments, and also ignore the smug half-glances Anne de Shiteleu kept throwing her way.

"Whatever's the matter, my dearest wife?" asked Henry from his throne. "I'm sorry, I don't remember your name."

The queen shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "Oh, nothing... I just wish I could give you the male heir you want so much."

"You'd better," said King Henry. "Otherwise I'll kill you."

The queen's lower lip trembled. "Oh, Henry! I've been waiting to tell you... I went to a fortune teller. She said the reason I can't get pregnant is that Anne de Shiteleu's STD's are killing your sperm. And she's not pregnant with a baby, she's pregnant with a rock."

"What!" roared Henry, bolting up. The music and chatter died out. "Guards! Kill Anne de Shiteleu at once!"

The guards lowered their spears and backed Anne against the wall. She screwed up her and the glinting spearheads inched towards her, and she placed a protective hand over her stomach. The crowd stood watching, wide-eyed and wide-mouthed.

The corners of Mary's lips curled up in a smile. But just then...

"Wait!"

The doors flung open and a powerful wizard entered the room.

"A wizard?" quoth Harry, aroused. "Doth why?"

"Anne de Poopeleu visited me yesterday," explained the wizard. "She is indeed pregnant with a male heir!"

"Lies!" screeched Henry's wife, flinging herself out of her throne hysterically.

"No," said the wizard sternly. "I have proof. Magical proof." He handed Henry an ultrasound that clearly showed the baby was male.

Henry set down heavily in his seat.

"A son..." muttered Henry. "This chain of events... It's like a plot from an amazing book written by a genius, perhaps even a professional author. It's like... I'm chained by them!"

Everyone clapped for Anne de Shiteleu for being the world's greatest escort and getting pregnant. Even the queen couldn't help but clap, because she knew Anne was the superior woman.

Only one person didn't clap... can you guess who? READ THE NEXT CHAPTER TO FIND OUT!