Four weddings and a Funeral – Chapter 3

Lee & Gaara's and Temari & Shikamaru's double destination wedding.

Three months later

"No," Neji said flatly to his friend on the phone.

"But Neji, please."

"No, Lee, I am not going to be your sister's date at your wedding. We can both be two alone adults to this even."

"No, you can't!" Lee whined. "It's a very small event, and everyone will come as a couple. My sister has been so busy with work she couldn't find a date. She is really nice, I swear."

Neji grimaced as he put Lee on speakerphone, so he was free to close his suitcase. He was sure Lee's twin sister was very, very... nice. But, just the idea of imagining a female version of Lee made his skin prickle with fright. It's not that his friend was not handsome, but he simply couldn't imagine his features transposed to a woman. But there was also the fact that Neji really wanted to be alone.

During the last three months, he had to live through another withdrawal of Tenten's presence. This time, he really tried to have her contact info so he could invite her to a proper date, but Hinata told him she was in a remote region in China with little internet access. Some archeological finding of a dynasty emperor's tomb where her expertise on thousands of weapons found onsite would be needed to catalogue them for the Republic's museum.

"Neji, do you refuse to be my twin sister's date because you think she is ugly?" Lee asked straightforwardly.

Neji groaned internally. Of course, his friend would use such manipulation technic.

"No," Neji grunted as he tried to close his carry-on that was overloaded for the destination wedding and his business trip that followed just after. "It is just that I have my mind on someone else."

"Well, it's not a real, real date." Lee countered. "Just consider it my wedding gift."

Neji pinched the bridge of his nose. There was no refusing Lee, that was for sure. He could stale his fate, but there was no avoiding it.

"Fine." He ground out. "But I'm off to bed at 10 pm, so get all your photos done by then, you understand me?"

Lee squealed, the sound so high that it crackled over the phone. "You won't regret it, Neji!"

With how Lee screamed his hundred thanks, Neji already did.


In the taxi leading to the hotel, Neji sighed for the thousandth time since he had landed on the paradisiac island, rereading the wedding invitation card.

A double wedding, nothing less.

Not that Neji's stoic face showed any sign of it, but he was absolutely dying inside. One wedding was already trouble enough, now he must endure twice the hardship.

As if that wasn't enough, on top of the double torture, he also had to endure the warm tropical climate of an overly sun-exposed island. Neji hated the beach. He found the sand annoyingly intrusive and impossible to clean off afterwards. He always got sunburns from sun exposure exceeding two minutes. Above all, he was not a fan of swimming among fishes and algae, and per one of his worst childhood memory, amid jellyfishes.

Really, if it hadn't been because Neji knew two of the three grooms of this double wedding, he would have probably declined the invitation. Of course, he knew Lee from years of practicing at the same dojo. It was the kind of friendship you weaved over a decade, being as sturdy and deep as any other, but you'd always see that friend during a particular setting. Lee was probably Neji's oldest friend, but they shared few things in their lives except a passion for martial arts since they were young.

They had never been on a trip together, or spent the holidays together, or even met each other's families like it was the case with his other friends, but that didn't make his friendship with Lee less precious. They would often text -well, Lee did, and Neji answered- to take news from one another. They met weekly at the dojo to spare and sometimes chit-chat around coffee once they were done training.

The other groom, Shikamaru, was getting married to Lee's future sister-in-law.

Small world.

Shikamaru was an old friend from high school. Naruto, Sasuke, Shikamaru and Neji had formed an inseparable group throughout high school and to the end of their undergraduate studies. He had seen less of him in the last three years when he moved to Suna to be with his new girlfriend and finish his degree there. Naruto and Sasuke were also supposed to be joining, but Naruto was knee-deep in diapers, and Sasuke recently got out of a car accident that nearly severed his arm and was on bed rest with a hovering Sakura tending to his every need.

At least, Shikamaru's childhood friends, Ino and Choji, his best man, would be there for him. And to be completely honest, Shikamaru had to admit he couldn't care less about a wedding ceremony and mostly did it so his mom would stop nagging him.

The famously known lazy man had announced to his old friends that Temari and he planned to move back to Konoha, where Temari found a job at Suna's Ambassade. So it was decided that at their arrival in Konoha, the gang would regroup and hold a small party to celebrate their union.

All in all, Neji couldn't miss this wedding. Even if the mere idea of a beach-themed wedding squared already exhausted him. Which left him wondering, as his taxi finally arrived at the entrance of the luxurious hotel where his friends were waiting for him, what to expect at the idea of meeting Lee's twin sister.

Surely, it couldn't be so bad. Right?


Neji had just checked in after a long tiring flight, a thankfully quick reunion with Shikamaru and a successful attempt at avoiding Ino, who had just arrived in a matching flower dress to her boyfriend's Sai's flower chemise.

Neji luckily caught Sai's glance in time before Ino did. The pale-skinned boy must have seen how tired the Hyuga was because he suddenly spun Ino on her feet to kiss her abruptly, much to the blonde's delight at her boyfriend's unexpected passion. The black-haired man gave a hand sign to Neji so he could make his escape and only released his girlfriend's lips once his friend was safely inside a closing elevator.

The long-haired Hyuga gave out a sigh of relief once he finally reached his hotel room door, and as he unlocked his door, the elevator down the hall opened on a very familiar figure.

"Tenten."

As soon as the name escaped his lips, her eyes that were glued on her phone travelled up to meet his eyes, widening in surprise at his recognition.

"Neji." She echoed back in the empty hallway, a puzzled look on his face.

Neji coughed, trying to regain his own shocked composure. "What are you doing here?" He asked in his usual stoic and controlled tone.

Just like she always did, her face split into a warm smile, her eyes sparkling, and he realized it was the first time he saw her so casual with her khaki short shorts, her cream hoodie and without any make-up. And damn it, she was beautiful. If anything, she glowed more, her smile unrestrained with lipstick, her shining eyes less hindered by the eyeshadow. If she looked smoking hot with make-up on, without it, she had angelically stunning.

"Well, I'm here for a wedding." She finally snapped out of it, slowly advancing with her carry-on rolling behind her. "Just got back from a tedious trip."

"Ah yes," Neji acknowledged. "Some archeology site with uncovered weapons requiring your expert eye?"

Tenten's raised eyebrows quickly morphed into a sly grin. "You've been keeping tabs on me, Mr. Hyuga?"

He smiled back. "Difficult not to when both my cousins won't shut up about you."

Tenten nodded, her grin becoming more astute. "Then, could you possibly be the reason why I just received a text from my ex-boyfriend Deidara telling me the nude painting he had of me sold for an astronomical price at his last auction... for a representative from Hyuga Inc?"

Neji loosened his tie, looking away. "I will make sure to ask my uncle and father about it." He replied casually. "We patron so many artistic events you see, it's hard to keep track."

His eyes landed back on her devilish smile, and he retorted with a smirk of his own.

Oh, this little war was on.

Tenten slowly nodded, tapping her chin. "Interesting, because when I texted Hiashi, he was positive neither he nor his brother had anything to do with it."

Neji bit down his lips and shrugged. And the act was so sexy; Tenten would have undressed right here and there if he had asked her so. Well, admittedly, she had also felt very deprived in her three months secluded in a far-off desert surrounded mostly by centuries-old metal armaments.

"A painting, you say?" He feigned recollection. "Why, yes, this may ring a bell." The teasing in his voice was not left unnoticed by the brunette.

"And pray tell what you hope to do with this painting."

Neji shrugged again, and Tenten couldn't help licking her lower lip when his shirt tugged a bit more against his musculature whenever he rolled his shoulders down.

"Hang it somewhere for my eyes only to see?" He suggested, surprised himself at the seductive smoothness of his demeanour.

Tenten gave him a lopsided smile of her own. "And what would one need to do if they were, let's say, interested in seeing that painting again?" She raised a suggestive brow.

Neji took a step to tower over her. "They'd need to be in my very good graces, I presume."

Tenten took a step towards him, their clothes slightly rubbing against each other. She angled her head upwards, her lips mere millimetres from his chin. "And how does one get your very good graces?"

Neji slowly lowered his lips so they could hover a centimetre above hers. "I have a few ideas in mind."

As he was about to actualize those very ideas, the elevator door rang, and the voice of Ino resonated through the hallway.

"Sai, are you sure you took enough sunscreen with you?"

Tenten and Neji gave each other a frightened look because they both knew what long and exhausting conversation the blonde would drag them in if she found them, mostly if she found them together. So they both fumbled with their magnetic keys to open their rooms, and without further ado, they hastened in their respective quarters before Ino's attention could set on them instead of her boyfriend.

Once inside, Neji sighed in relief at the avoided scene. He quickly started organizing his stuff around the room. He had stripped naked and was in the hotel's bathrobe, ready to take a shower before the ceremony, when he heard a knock on his door.

To his surprise, a similarly clothed Tenten appeared when he opened the door, her hair loose for the first time since he met her and a suggestive smile in place.

"The hot water in my shower does not work. Mind if we share?" She asked innocently, her leg jutting from the opening of her robe.

Neji leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed, a smirk on his face. "And why do I find that hard to believe?"

Tenten took a step closer, her breasts pressing against him. "Would sputtering some nonsense about saving water for the fishes work instead?" She gave him a crooked smile.

It's funny how time flowed with Tenten. Sometimes it felt like it stopped, and everything slowed down, and he would see her expressive visage and seductive features move in slow motions. And other times, like now, he could barely see the time pass. One second they were both clothed in his doorframe, the next, they were naked in his shower, her legs wrapped around his waist and her back shoved against the white tiles, her moans and his grunts echoing in the bathroom.

Very funny, indeed.


"I can't believe we ended up going to another wedding together." She laughed, drying her hair with his hairdryer while he changed in the bedroom.

"Who do you know here?" Neji asked, putting his trousers on.

"Pretty much everyone." Tenten shrugged. "My official role is being Temari's maid of honour. She's a childhood friend."

"Doesn't she live in Suna?" Neji asked, buttoning his chemise.

"Yes, well, I used to live there when I was little. Moved to Konoha with my family when I was in high school, but we always kept close contact. Actually, Shikamaru and her met at a party I organized."

Tenten shut off the hairdryer and came to see Neji tying his grey tie. She emitted a disapproving sound.

"I'm surprised how much taste you lack, being Hiashi's nephew and all." She grinned, snatching the grey tie away from his hand in favour of the marine one stranded on his bed.

Neji watched silently as her fingers worked the tie around his neck and swiftly knotted it correctly.

"Is tie tying a service you wish to provide to your future sugar daddy? Cause you're quite efficient." He teased.

She laughed back. "I should definitely add this to my CV."

"And brochure," He advised.

"And brochure," She agreed. "No, but really, I had an Avril Lavigne phase when I was a teenager." She admitted bashfully. "Quite useful for my tie knotting skills now."

"Indeed." He conceded. "So…" He trailed. "Would you happen to know Lee?"

Tenten's eyebrows shot up. "Yes, why?"

"He kind of arranged this blind date with his sister, and I'm a little bit…" He stopped trying to find the right words. "Curious? Yes, curious about what she looks like."

"Oh," Tenten cooed. "You're the poor sucker he forced into being her date for the wedding?" She clicked her tongue, shaking her head in disapproval. "She's monstrous. If only her personality made up for the rest…" Tenten imitated a shiver. "A real bitch."

"What do you mean?" The Hyuga asked, astonished.

"I mean," Her smile became more wicked than ever. "That whatever you do…." She trailed for a dramatic pause. "Don't, and I repeat, do not look at the big mole on her face. Or try to count the number of hair on it. Simply don't. This makes her so mad."

She pushed him away swiftly. "Gotta go prepare. See you downstairs!" She chirped before vanishing out of his room in an instant, leaving him bewilderedly looking into thin air, leaving behind her the faint scent of light ylang-ylang and orange tree blossoms.


"Ah, Neji!" Lee exclaimed when seeing his old friend descend the glass stairs leading to the cocktail room where guests were waiting before the wedding ceremony. "Just the man I was looking for."

Neji tugged on his sleeve to readjust his suit, calmly approaching the groom while assessing the room.

Like most destination weddings, the number of guests was not extravagant. At most, thirty people were gathered. He recognized Ino, Choji and Sai talking to Shikamaru in a corner. He also identified Asuma, one of his uncle and father's friends, who happened to be Shikamaru's godfather.

He could also spot some of the other friends of the older Hyugas. Shikaku, Choza and Inoichi, each accompanied by their wives. He gave each a brief nod, which they returned with a smile. And, of course, he could recognize Gai-sensei anywhere. Not only was he Lee's very recognizable father, but he had also been his martial arts trainer for years. He was talking to a woman whose back was turned to him, and Neji supposed this could only be his wife.

Neji had to admit, as much as it pained him, that Lee was right. Everyone here came with a date.

He tried as much as he could to find Tenten, but he had not spotted her distinctive twin buns yet. This hairstyle grew a bit too much on him for his liking. On anyone else, he would have found it childish or rubbish, but she pulled it so well. On her, it was simply charming and irresistible.

"Neji!" Lee's voice resonated in his ears, and the pale-eyed man turned his attention to his old friend.

"Lee." Neji greeted him.

Before Neji could congratulate him, Lee had already started rambling with nervousness, saying how much he couldn't wait to see Gaara in his white tuxedo and gushing on how youthfully that colour suited his red hair.

"I cannot wait for you to meet my sister!" Lee shouted. "You will love her, I'm sure!"

Neji's insides twisted. Somehow he very much doubted that.

"But before you meet her, you have to promise me you will behave like the perfect gentleman I know you to be." Lee's serious eyes bore into his.

"Yes, of course," Neji said mechanically, still sweeping the room with his gaze to try and find the brunette.

"I am serious, Neji," Lee warned. "Promise me you will treat my sister with the proper decency you would have required for your own cousins."

Neji looked at his friend. "Yes, Lee. I promise."

He almost rolled his eyes. Of course, he was not going to hit on Lee's twin sister, for God's sake. Mostly when all he could think of were the rosy lips of one particular weapons specialist.

And there she was, walking down the glass stairs in that sublime sage green bodice and tight-fitted high slit skirt. She looked heavenly. On anyone else, the designed sage green for bridesmaids looked drab and pasty. But on her, the colour brought out the gold in her skin and the reddish hues in her auburn hair. It also almost gave her light brown eyes a sort of greenish reflect, which made her all the more alluring.

Or maybe he was just obsessed because she could have been wearing Lee's high school green training spandex, and he would have found her stunning.

Now, how was he supposed to be someone else's date when Tenten looked the way she did a few meters from him?

"Tenten!" He heard Lee call her out.

The brunette smiled instantly and came to hug the bowl-cut-haired groom.

"Lee!" She shouted back. "I've missed you so much." She hugged him tightly.

Lee took her arms in his hands, beaming at her. "Tenten-chan, you are gorgeous. China's sun gave you a formidable tan."

Tenten giggled.

"Neji," Lee turned to his friend. "Please meet my sister, Tenten."

Tenten burst out laughing at Neji's expression of total stupor, and Lee indulged in a confused look before the Hyuga briskly shook his confusion away.

Neji coughed. "We have met a few other times at common friends' weddings." He revealed.

"Is that so!" Lee raised his eyebrows. "Oh! I almost forgot." Lee looked at his watch. "We will start the ceremony soon. You two should find your seats."

Lee walked two steps away but stopped when sensing the palpable tension and electric chemistry irradiating from the two. The groom turned to his friend again. "And remember," He said in a low, threatening voice. "No funny business with my sister."

Neji was now less confident of his ability to keep that promise.

"Yeah, no." Neji hurriedly chose Tenten over honour. "I retract my previous statement. I wouldn't count on it anymore, Lee." He admitted to Lee's disconcerted face.

"Oh, brother." Tenten dusted her twin's shoulder empathetically and readjusted his tie. "I fear the ship of my innocence has already sailed away. A long," She smiled. "Long," Wider. "Long time ago."

The black-haired man was about to protest, but Shikamaru came to drag him by the elbow. "Come on, we need to wait for Temari and Gaara at the altar. Let's not make Temari wait. This thing is already troublesome enough."

"Neji, you better not-" Lee tried to yell over the cacophony of people talking, but Shikamaru had already dragged him a few meters away, to the other side of the room.

Neji and Tenten waved, all smiles, at the wide-eyed brother who slowly came to understand that they both had no intention of being decent tonight.

Ignoring Lee's shouted warnings, Neji simply raised his glass, smiling politely, and yelled a "Congratulations!" at the man who was now outside in the gardens.

He turned his wicked gaze at the brunette, who returned an equivalent naughty smile.

Yes, nothing proper was planned for tonight, that was for sure.


Tenten was still laughing, twirling the golden liquid of her champagne flute in her hands. "You should have seen your face."

Now that the wedding ceremony was over and that the party was well advanced into the night, they had resumed to their now usual spot: an empty table far away from the dance floor, leaning in against each other sharing stories to their hilarity.

"How can you be his twin? How." Neji asked for the tenth time. "You look nothing alike."

Tenten laughed again, shrugging one shoulder. "I take everything from our mother, and he takes everything from our father." She nodded towards her parents, who pleasantly talked with Gaara and Temari's parents a few tables away.

Now that he had seen Tenten's mother's face, he could see the striking resemblance, and if the young anthropologist grew old like her mother, really she'd be blessed with glorious genes.

"Let's get out of here." Tenten took him out of his musings. "Temari and Shikamaru already disappeared to their hotel room hours ago, so I am off maid of honour duty."

Neji chuckled. "They didn't really care for the wedding, did they?"

Tenten laughed, shaking her head. "Temari told me they only did it to appease their parents and basically hopped on Lee and Gaara's wedding just so they wouldn't have to organize theirs. That's how little they cared"

She looked at one of the villas in the resort. "I think they already started their honeymoon three hours ago."

"So," He drank in one shot the remaining liquid in his flute. "Where do you want to go?"

"The beach, obviously," Tenten said as a matter of fact. "Best place to be, really the only thing missing in Konoha."

Neji cringed at his unshared perception of sand and sea, where strange marine creatures lurked. But for Tenten?

"Fine," He said, getting up and lending her a hand that she took with smiling eyes.


Walking barefoot on the beach, letting the warm ocean waves lap at their toes, Neji smirked at her retelling of how Gai used to train her and Lee for marathons and triathlons in their youth.

After a moment of silent walking, Neji decided to take her hand and spin her around. "Still looking for that hairy mole." He pretended to inspect her face.

She cupped his cheek to push his falsely inspecting face away from hers. "I am sorry to disappoint you, but alas, I have none. Though I do have a beauty spot shaped like Mickey Mouse."

"Really, where?" He frowned, not recalling having seen such a thing yet.

"Ah!" She smiled provocatively. "That's for you to find." Neji instinctively put a hand around her waist to bring her closer.

He wanted to continue where they left off this afternoon, but Lee's voice rang in his head again.

Promise me you will treat my sister with the proper decency you would have required for your own cousins.

For the thousandth time since he had met her, Neji wondered why it was so easy to talk to her. Typically, it required Neji an incredible amount of discipline and courtesy to indulge in small talk with people. But with her, he wanted to know everything about who she was. And what she thought of silly things like: did she put her milk before or after the cereals? What kind of movies would she like to see if they went to the cinema? And did she ever want to have kids? Because he thought she'd probably make a wonderful mother and…

"Let's go on a date." He blurted out, and her eyebrows shot up.

"A date?" She repeated incredulously.

"Yes, a date." He insisted with steeled confidence. "With proper food instead of canapes and dessert that isn't a wedding cake."

Tenten wrapped her hands around his neck, swaying gently from side to side to the far-off music.

"Mmh, very tempting, Mr. Hyuga. And when would this date happen with you going on your three-week business trip tomorrow?" She raised a brow.

His glazed eyes met hers. "As soon as I come back," He tightened his hold around her waist.

Tenten nodded dubiously. "I'm probably overbooked in three weeks," She teased. "But I'll find you a spot for you."

"Is that so," He fumbled with the zipper of her skirt, his lips brushing the sweet spot behind her ear. "Then I'm one lucky man to have such a busy woman accept to make time for me."

"Would 30 minutes be enough for you?" She teased again, but her voice became a bit higher when his lips trailed down.

"I gather five would suffice." His lips continued down her cleavage. "Then you'll be making time for more."

And then this funny thing with time happened again. One second, he hated the beach they were standing on while she unbuttoned his shirt and peppered his jaw with deliberate slow kissing.

And the next second, she was naked beneath him, reciprocating the movement of his hips, and he thought the beach was probably the best place to be at, in the whole wide world.