.

۵۵۵۵۵
-Chapter Six-
Echoes from the Past
۵۵۵۵۵

Cloud woke up earlier the following morning, feeling considerably stronger and eager to be of some service to this new world he had inexplicably found himself in. Though his instincts told him that Leon would be a difficult man to sway once his mind was made up, he still hadn't completely given up on the idea of joining him and Yuffie when they made their morning rounds. Unfortunately, in spite of the fact that it was earlier, it didn't seem to be early enough.

With his Mako-enhanced hearing, Cloud could hear every little noise in the house, and the only one that was coming from a living being was that of Aerith, who was humming in the kitchen as she washed the breakfast dishes. Of course, the absence of any sound from Leon indicated absolutely nothing, but the fact that there wasn't even a peep to be heard out of Yuffie was a dead giveaway that they had already left the house.

Cloud finished brushing his teeth and rinsing the night's sleep from his face and then headed for the kitchen. "Morning," he said, stepping into the room a few moments later. "Leon and Yuffie already gone?"

"Mm-hm, 'bout an hour ago," Aerith threw over her shoulder as she stacked the last few dishes in the drainer. "Leon likes to be out by seven at the latest, and I suspect he'd be gone even earlier if he didn't have to wait for Yuffie."

Cloud nodded absently as he opened the fridge.

"Would you like some breakfast?" Aerith asked, grabbing the towel off the counter and drying her hands.

"You know, you don't have to wait on me hand and foot." Cloud replied, pouring himself a small glass of orange juice. "Contrary to what everyone seems to think, I am capable of taking care of myself."

"Indulge me anyway." Aerith smiled sweetly. "I like taking care of you."

'Yeah, like I took care of you,' Cloud responded in his head, though of course he didn't voice the sentiment aloud. Some bodyguard he had been. He realized this was the first time he had been alone with Aerith since the day he woke up and wasn't surprised to find himself ill at ease.

He knew very well the chronic ache lying just below the surface, always waiting, and constant in its confidence, just biding its time to rise up like a bitter bile and swallow him whole. It was as familiar to him as his nightmares, and so interwoven, he would have been hard pressed to tear them apart, strand by frayed strand; to say this is one and not the other.

He had been staring down the face of failure since the Forgotten City, and since remembering his forgotten friend. Two failures, two people who were dead because of him. And there were others as well, he knew. The fact that there were countless people still alive, thanks to Cloud, didn't matter. He never counted those.

It had been easy to shove the memory of his best friend to the back of his mind while they were fighting to save the planet. His mind was filled with stopping Sephiroth and Meteor and rampaging Weapons, his days filled with certainty of purpose instead of faltering questions. He didn't have time to sort through his fragmented memories. Stolen memories. Those had been the easy days.

But after life had returned to normal – if one could call rebuilding a ravaged city and a shattered mind normal – the memories had started to trickle back in, and with them came the guilt. Good days, Cloud told himself he was winning the battle, but he knew it was a lie, and now here he was, face to face with one of those failures, and it was staring right back at him.

He couldn't look it in the eye, couldn't look Aerith in the eye. What does one say to someone who died as a result of your weakness?

'So, how's life been treating you?'

No, maybe not. Cloud slid into one of the seats at the table and concentrated on his juice.

'Run into any old acquaintances in the Lifestream lately?'

Maybe it would be better to just skip all the small talk and cut straight to the chase: 'How can you stand to be in the same room with me?'

Aerith's time in the Lifestream must have sharpened her Cetran senses, or maybe she'd simply learned to read minds, for she sat down in the other chair and reached for Cloud's hand. "I've never blamed you, you know, not even once, and neither has Zack."

"Zack?" Cloud whispered. "You've seen Zack?"

"Yes," Aerith nodded. "He wanted to come back with me so he could kick your butt for blaming yourself for his death, but he had to settle for sending a message through me. He practically made me memorize it!" She laughed out loud at the memory of Zack making her repeat it back to him over and over again until he was satisfied that she wouldn't forget.

"He said to tell you that it was his choice to stay and that he never regretted it. He knew, even though you couldn't say so with words, that you wanted him to leave you behind and save himself, but it wasn't your choice to make."

Cloud just stared at the tabletop as if he didn't believe her.

"He felt responsible for your being there in the first place, because if he hadn't introduced you to Sephiroth, you never would have been assigned to that mission."

"That wasn't his fault," Cloud replied with a surprising amount of vehemence. "I would have been sent on that mission anyway because Nibelheim was my hometown. It wouldn't have changed a thing."

"Maybe." Aerith sighed. "But Zack was still sorry for getting you involved, sorry for ... everything."

Cloud raised his face and looked at her then, and she could see the pain in his pretty eyes; the same pain that had been there when he lowered her body into the lake.

"It should have been me," he said quietly, the passion gone from his voice just as quickly as it had come. "It should have been me that died that day. Zack would have made a much better hero. Zack wouldn't have let you die without doing anything at all."

"Oh, Cloud. You weren't exactly yourself, you know. None of it was your fault." Emerald eyes that normally sparkled with laughter now glistened with unshed tears, but Cloud's eyes remained empty, as if to say that it wasn't enough, that it still didn't change anything. "Zack chose to stay because he loved you. And so did I."

At Aerith's words, the emptiness in Cloud's eyes suddenly sharpened to a penetrating gaze as another piece of the puzzle that made up his past slipped into place. "No, that was Zack – the things you thought you loved in me – that was Zack. He was your first love, wasn't he? He was the SOLDIER you told me about that day on the playground."

"It's true," Aerith confessed, "that my initial interest in you was based on curiosity. I was intrigued by the similarities between the two of you, but as I got to know you better, I began to notice the differences as well, and it was those differences that I truly fell in love with."

Cloud didn't know how to respond to Aerith's confession of feelings he didn't return. He had once thought he loved the flower girl, but he knew now that his feelings had not been his own. They had belonged to Zack; just one more thing he had stolen from the man he owed his life. Cloud had cared very deeply for Aerith, but he had never loved her like that.

It was Zack he had loved.

۵۵۵۵۵

Remembering Leon's promise to put him to work as soon as he regained his strength, Cloud ate every single bite of the breakfast that Aerith insisted on fixing. Then he returned to Leon's bedroom and shuffled through the stack of books on his dresser for something to occupy his time. It was mostly dry, technical stuff such as research on warp holes and theories about time travel that didn't appeal to Cloud in the least, but there was one historical novel about sorceresses and knights that looked interesting. It seemed an odd selection, given the rest of Leon's choices, but then, Cloud reminded himself, he was hardly an expert when it came to Leon's interests.

He stretched out on the bed and began to read, but had barely finished the first chapter when he heard the sound of Yuffie's voice, followed by the opening of the front door and then the closing of the front door, then the soft yet solid footsteps and comforting jingle that signaled Leon's approach. Cloud closed the book and sat up on the bed just as Leon appeared in the doorway.

"Want to go to the waterway?"

"You bet!" Cloud had no idea what the "waterway" was, but it had to be better than rotting away in bed with a book. "I'll be ready in a jiffy," he said, jumping up and grabbing his clothes.

"Great. Then we can mosey on over."

Cloud whipped around and eyed Leon suspiciously for any sign of mockery on his handsome face, but found only fond amusement. "Cid told you about that?"

"Actually..." Leon smirked. "...I believe it was Yuffie who related that particular tale." And then he laughed, a real laugh; a rare thing – quiet and throaty, yet rich and deep, as pleasantly surprising as an unexpected gift; a small thing – hardly more than a chuckle and gone before it was even there. It washed over Cloud like a warm breeze and left him a little breathless.

It was the most wonderful sound he had ever heard, and he decided right then and there that he would do just about anything to hear it again, even if it was at his own expense, and he wondered what other stories Leon had already heard.

۵۵۵۵۵

Aerith watched from the kitchen window, fighting back another wave of jealousy as the two men left the house together. It had been months before Leon allowed Yuffie and her into his secret sanctuary, and she suspected that they wouldn't have been allowed even then had Yuffie not trailed him one day – practicing her 'stealthy ninja' skills – and seen him disappear into the culvert behind the hotel.

Actually, Aerith doubted they would have been invited even to this very day, and no matter how much she understood on an intellectual level that it was just Leon's way, it still hurt.

She knew it was wrong to feel this way; it was petty and unbecoming, but it just wasn't fair. Sometimes Aerith grew tired of always being the one doing the giving, making the sacrifices. Sometimes she just wanted something for herself.

She had always suspected that Cloud had an eye for other men, and the things she had learned from Zack in the Lifestream confirmed it, but she had still believed in the possibility that he also liked women. During their travels together, Aerith had definitely gotten the impression that there was something more than mere friendship driving his feelings for Tifa, and of course, he'd been living with the brunette beauty at the time of Gaia's fall, though Aerith couldn't help but wonder how her friend and rival had finally succeeded in bagging the clueless boy. She giggled at the vision that popped into her head of Tifa finally losing her infinite patience and just clobbering him over the head and dragging him home by his spiky blond hair.

Aerith was also fairly certain that Cloud had been attracted to her, though needless to say, he had never acted on it; most likely out of total cluelessness rather than sexual preference or simple shyness. Cloud had always been oblivious to overtures, equally unaware of both Tifa's timid devotion and Aerith's shameless flirting. Even after dragging him out on a date at the Gold Saucer, he still hadn't caught on. It was frustrating, but also a little endearing and had only made her love him all the more.

During the last few days, watching him as he slept, she had fallen in love with him all over again, and worse than that, she had allowed herself to hope that he might even return her affections. But it was becoming increasingly obvious that his affections were wandering elsewhere...

And Leon... She had wondered considerably about Leon's sexual preferences, or whether he even had any. She had never once seen him, nor even heard any rumors of him being with anyone of either gender.

She had made it clear – without being overly obvious, she hoped – that she was interested in him as more than just a friend, but her flirting hadn't reaped any more response from Leon that it had from Cloud. She was fairly confident that Leon liked her – at least as well as Leon liked anyone – so she had thought that perhaps she simply wasn't his type. She wondered who was Leon's type and had started paying attention.

All of the women at the cafe liked Leon; heck, all of the women in town liked Leon, even the married ones, but Leon simply wasn't interested.

Perhaps he just didn't want to get involved in a relationship, she had figured, and knowing Leon, that seemed like a pretty sure bet. But then, so did the bet that there were plenty of women around who would be more than happy to hop into Leon's bed with no strings attached.

Especially that large-breasted hussy at the cafe. Aerith bristled. She flirted with everyone, true, but she really flirted with Leon. Why, one time the pushy wench had actually sat on his lap – just walked right over and plopped right down and then ran her pudgy little fingers through his beautiful hair! Leon's! Can you believe it?

You should have seen the look on Leon's face; hoo-boy, was he ever mad! Aerith laughed right out loud at the memory. He had practically dumped the horrid woman on the floor, and Aerith had loved it. It was weeks before Leon set foot inside the cafe again, and that waitress ... well, she never tried that again.

That left Aerith with the conclusion that perhaps Leon simply didn't like women, so she had started watching his interactions with other men, but there was nothing there either.

She couldn't imagine Leon messing around with anyone, anyway. He never stayed out late, and of course, he never brought anyone home. Heck, he hardly even spoke to anyone, and when he did, it was strictly business.

Even the few precious pieces of information she knew about Leon's past shed no light on the mystery. Seifer and Rinoa: two names, two unknowns.

Considering how little Aerith knew of Leon's past, she had almost a surfeit of information on Seifer, but it was all just dead ends – just petty distractions that lead one astray – and she had no information on Rinoa at all other than the name itself. Yet their impressions weighed equally in her mind, canceling each other out; she pitted them against one another and came up empty.

She had finally resigned herself to the fact that Leon was simply asexual, that he had no carnal interest in anyone of either sex.

And then Cloud had showed up.

She had picked up on the vibes from both men almost immediately. No, it was nothing obvious, nothing that anyone else would even have noticed, including Cloud and Leon themselves, but Aerith was a Cetra; she could hear the voices of the planets. And she could hear the voices of Leon and Cloud.

With a deep sigh of regret, she turned away from the window. It wasn't easy watching the two men she loved finding the companionship in each other that she had longed for with both. She knew they both cared for her, each in their own way, but that was no replacement for arms in the night.

She was going to die a virgin. Again.

She missed Zack, missed the tender caresses which only he had ever given her. Their relationship hadn't been perfect, and fate had cut it far too short, but it had been love. However briefly, Aerith had known love, and she wasn't certain that could be said for either of these two men.

Besides, that always-honest little voice deep down inside reminded her that she wasn't even supposed to be here. She was supposed to be in the Lifestream with Zack.

۵۵۵۵۵

With Second District still overrun with Heartless, Leon decided to take Cloud through Merlin's house and use the portal from there to the waterway. They made a quick dash through Third and entered the cool, watery cavern.

"That's Merlin's," he stated, pointing to the little house on the island. Then he sprang forward onto the first moving platform, continuing across with deliberate, sure-footed leaps until he had reached the other side, and only then did he turn and pause to wait for Cloud.

Cloud unfurled his wing, stretching it out to full glory, and skittered across, lightly touching down to propel himself forward as he glided effortlessly from rock to rock. Landing weightlessly in front of Leon, he crossed his arms over his chest and gave Leon a look of smug superiority.

"Show off," Leon muttered and turned on his heel.

Cloud followed the older man around to the entrance, and once inside the wizard's house, Cloud looked around with wonder. The strange little home was as odd as its owner and filled to the brim with clutter. There were stacks of books everywhere, and every available surface was littered with strange apparatus.

Delighted to have such illustrious company, Merlin insisted on serving refreshments and set about coaxing an odd assortment of goodies out of an old travel bag at his feet. Unable to dissuade him, Leon finally gave in and agreed to "Just some tea, thank you."

Not wishing to be impolite, Cloud joined them at the table and nibbled on a poppy seed cake, trying his best to keep his eyes focused on the wizard, but when he and Leon started discussing town business which didn't concern Cloud, they began to wander back to the disarray around the room. Merlin noticed and dismissed him with a chuckle, saying, "Go on, Boy, and have a look around."

Cloud might have been offended by Merlin's insistence on calling him 'Boy', but Leon had assured him that the wizard was ancient, and that he referred to everyone less than a hundred years old as a boy. Everyone except Cid, that is; Merlin had other names for Cid.

Besides, if Cloud had never quite been able to see himself as an adult, how could he hold it against somebody else? So he took no offense and accepted the wizard's offer as eagerly as a schoolboy handed a last minute reprieve from detention on a sunny afternoon.

Physically, Leon remained at the table with Merlin, even managed to continue the conversation in a deceptively attentive manner, but his eyes had other ideas entirely and decided to follow Cloud around the room. A soft chuckle from the wise old wizard brought him sharply back to his senses and his eyes promptly front and center, which is why he didn't notice Cloud opening the large antique book on the stand beside Merlin's bed until it was already too late to stop him.

Of course, that didn't stop Leon from trying. Stifling a cry, he jumped up from the table and reached for a handful of empty air as the blond disappeared with a poof.

Merlin just laughed and turned to Leon with a youthful twinkle in his venerable eyes. "Well I suppose you had better go get him," he chuckled, "before he gets lost somewhere in Hundred Acre Wood."

With an apprehensive nod, Leon took a reluctant step towards the book on the stand, then another, slightly bolder step, and then a third, which brought him face to face with the dreaded tome. Girding himself with as much mental armor as he could muster, he took the last and bravest step of all; he stepped inside.

Merlin cleared away the teacups with a snap of gnarled old fingers, a smile on his face, and hope in his heart for his dearest little lion. Merlin was no Cetra, but he had been around for a very long time.

۵۵۵۵۵

Cloud blinked.

His eyes had grown accustomed to the constant darkness of Traverse Town, and he squinted them now against the brightness as he attempted to figure out where he was. He had just been about to look at that book...

Actually, it was kind of nice here, now that his eyes had adjusted. He sat down on a nearby log and looked around. There was a light breeze and a gentle sun that warmed but didn't burn, and bright blue butterflies fluttered about over tender green grass, its sweet scent filling the air with springtime and innocence and youth.

Cloud quickly tallied up his very short list of options: He could either look around for a way out, or he could wait here for Leon to find him. Remembering the old adage about what to do when lost, he decided to stay put. Besides, the grass looked very inviting.

He spread his cape – Vincent's cape, he corrected himself – on the ground and stretched himself out for a nice little nap. It wasn't long before he heard a soft popping sound, and then a shadow fell across his face. He opened his eyes and allowed them to travel up long legs, over crossed belts and crossed arms to a very sexy Leon smirking down at him.

"What the hell are you doing, Strife? Sunbathing?"

"Well, I didn't want to lose my tan, seeing as how it's always nighttime in Traverse Town." Cloud crossed his arms behind his head.

Leon changed his stance, shifting his weight to one leg in a classic contrapposto with one arm akimbo, hand planted upon his jutted hip while gesturing with the other. "I'd have thought you were more the type to burn."

The pose was so unlike Leon's usual posture that Cloud was immediately struck by its strangeness, yet it looked entirely natural on the man, and Cloud had the sudden insight that he was witnessing a younger version of Leon. For some reason, the realization brought a deep sense of satisfaction, and he found that he didn't even care about the silly smile he could feel spreading across his face. With a sigh of contentment, he closed his eyes and just lay there enjoying the warmth of the sun on his face and the warmth of the earth at his back.

Not wishing to disturb Cloud's peaceful moment, Leon sat down beside him and quietly watched the man lying next to him. Cloud's hair looked even blonder in the sunlight, and Leon had an overwhelming urge to run his fingers through the silken strands. He forced himself to look away over the shimmering fields instead.

Hundred Acre Wood was a place of timelessness, a lazy stroll through a childhood that lasted forever. It was a passage to the past, a return to innocence and endless summer days when trust was more than just a word, and the world hadn't yet gotten so complicated. For the pure of heart, Hundred Acre Wood was a ticket home.

Sora loved it here. He said it reminded him of happier days back on Destiny Island, and he retreated to Hundred Acre Wood as often as his duty would allow. But Leon could never stay here too long; it only reminded him of the things he'd never had.

With no GFs junctioned for the past eight years, he had regained a lot of his memories, and he could count on one hand the ones that were worth keeping. Given the choice, he would have traded his entire lifetime's worth of memories for one weak Guardian Force; their presence in his mind had brought more comfort than his memories ever would.

But when he had awoken in Traverse Town, his constant companions were gone, ripped from him by force, or perhaps they had fled of their own accord, seizing their chance at freedom, and he had been left feeling irremediably empty. Eventually his memories had returned, filling up the space vacated by his guardians, but the emptiness remained.

"This would be a great place for a picnic," Cloud said, suddenly sitting up, his cheerful tone of voice totally out of tune with Leon's brooding. When the man looked at him as if he had grown wings – well another wing – Cloud realized he had voiced the thought aloud and grimaced, for the thought had not been his own, but one that belonged to his mother.

Suddenly, he was seven again, and his mother was staring out the window at the sunny day outside. Perhaps it was her own regrets she saw there, or perhaps it was ghosts; Cloud never knew. Then she would realize that he was there and turn to him with her very best smile – that smile that never failed to brighten his world – and say in her cheeriest voice, "We should have a picnic!"

But of course, they never had; picnics were for normal families. The closest they had ever come was lunch in the backyard.

She took to staring out the window more and more often, and the child could only watch as the woman withered through the years, and even the garden she had once tended with such care gradually went to weed. That young boy had vowed to himself that when he was grown, when he was a man, he would take her from this cold and bitter town, so preoccupied with its pettiness and its prejudice, to someplace filled with laughter and warmth, just like she had once been. And he would take her on a proper picnic.

But of course, that had never happened either. He had been too late. It was just another failure, one more regret. One more person he hadn't been able to save.

"I'm sure Aerith would be delighted to come here with you on a picnic," Leon said crossly, rudely interrupting Cloud's sorrow.

"I didn't say I wanted to have a picnic," Cloud growled back, "only that it would be a good place for one."

Leon stood up and started to stalk away. He certainly didn't need the blond's bad mood; he had his own.

Realizing that he was about to be left behind, Cloud jumped up and hurried after the other man. "Leon, wait," he called out. "I'm sorry – I just ... I got lost in a memory."

"I know," Leon said, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "It's okay. It's this place. I hate it here."

"Yeah, I don't really think I belong here," Cloud agreed. "It's a little too …"

"Exactly," Leon said. "Now let's get out of here before Pooh shows up."

"Pooh?" Cloud quirked a curious brow.

"He's a chubby little orange bear," Leon explained. "Sora and Aerith and Yuffie all adore him, but frankly he tries my patience. He's a little ... slow."

"Oh. Well, let's go spar then," Cloud suggested eagerly, the bewilderment in his eyes turning instantly into a maniacal gleam.

Leon was so tempted to give in. It was exactly what they needed to shake off the lingering effects of Hundred Acre Wood – not to mention the fact that he was extremely curious to see what the ex-SOLDIER could do with that big-ass sword – but it really wasn't a good idea. Not until Cloud's wound was fully healed. "Not until your stitches are out," he said, always Mr. Responsible. Leave it to Leon to do the right thing.

"But they are ready to come out," Cloud insisted in a voice dangerously close to a whine. "We could take them out right now! Merlin must have some scissors and tweezers we could use, and if not, he can just pull some out of that bag."

The disappointment on Cloud's face almost made Leon reconsider, but he stuck to his guns. "Look..." He attempted a compromise like he was talking to a little kid, "...we've spent too much time here already, and we really should be getting back. I'll take a look at your sutures tonight, and if everything looks good, maybe we can spar a little tomorrow. Regardless, I promise we can go to the waterway."

Cloud pouted, but he allowed himself to be led towards the exit, and once they were safely back in Merlin's study, he stared at the leather-bound book with dismay. Shuddering like a wet dog shaking off the strange spell that had befallen him, he turned to Leon with puzzled eyes.

"Don't ask ... I don't know." Leon pinched the bridge of his nose. "Let's just go home."

۵۵۵۵۵

Leon had already taken his evening shower and was in the bedroom reading while he waited for Cloud to finish his. At the sound of the bathroom door being opened, he looked up from his book and nearly choked on his own spit. Two seconds later, Cloud stepped into the room with a towel wrapped securely around his waist, a self-conscious blush on his face, and his droopy spikes still dripping with water. Leon tried hard not to stare, really he did, but his attention was captured by each and every drop that fell from Cloud's hair and ran lovingly down his sculpted chest to be absorbed by the towel hugging his slender hips. Leon nervously licked his lips.

"I forgot to take these with me," Cloud said, grabbing the pile of clothes that Leon had loaned him and making a hasty about-face to return to the bathroom.

"Do you need some clean ones?" Leon asked in a voice that was admirably steady.

Holding the clothes in front of his chest like a shield, Cloud turned back again to the other man. "Um ... maybe just some boxers and socks?" he requested politely. "The shirt and the pants are still fine."

Leon gathered the clean articles of clothing from his dresser and handed them to Cloud. "Aerith could take you shopping in the morning," he suggested. "I imagine you'd like to have some things of your own."

"Well ... I could use a few things, I guess," Cloud agreed. "So I don't have to keep borrowing yours." And cutting holes in the shirts.

"Tomorrow then..." Leon nodded. "... if it suits Aerith, of course. Now let's have a look at those sutures." Lightly taking hold of Cloud's arm, Leon turned Cloud's body towards the light from the lamp to examine the wound across his stomach. "You're right; those are definitely ready to come out. I'll go gather the supplies while you get dressed." He stepped out of the room and closed the door behind him.

Cloud hurriedly put on his pants and ran the towel through his hair to remove some of the excess water, his spikes immediately springing back to full attention. A soft knock on the door announced Leon's return.

"You really don't have to do this, Leon. I mean, I'm perfectly capable of doing it myself."

"Yes, I'm sure you are," Leon acknowledged, carefully setting his armful of items on the table beside the bed. "But I doubt it would be very comfortable. Especially since there's so many," he added quietly.

"I just don't want to be a bother."

"You aren't a bother," Leon said with a surprising amount of sincerity. "So come lie down and just try to relax."

"All right, then." Cloud once again gave in and simply did as he was told, thinking how easy it was to give in to Leon. If he were being entirely honest with himself, he had to admit there was something to be said for letting someone else make the decisions, especially if that someone was as competent as Leon. If he wasn't careful, he could see how he might even learn to like it.

He fluffed up his pillow and lay back on the bed, but it didn't prop up his head enough to watch what Leon was doing, so he grabbed Leon's pillow as well, which was sitting on top of Leon's neatly folded blankets at the foot of the bed. "It must have taken you a long time to put all these stitches in," he remarked, settling back again and making himself comfortable now that his head was sufficiently supported.

"A while," Leon admitted. He wet a cotton ball with antiseptic and thoroughly cleaned the area surrounding the sutures, marveling aloud at how quickly Cloud had healed. When Cloud didn't comment, he let it go and began working in silence.

Cloud tried to keep his attention focused on what Leon was doing rather than on the man himself, but despite his best intentions, his eyes kept returning to Leon's face, and he soon gave up all pretense of doing anything other than staring at the man as he worked, his serious grey eyes focused so intently on his task. Cloud's gaze was soon drawn downward to Leon's mouth, and there it lingered, transfixed.

Like perfectly ripened fruit, Leon's lips were downright luscious; they begged to be kissed. Even set in a determined line, as it was now, with its habitually down-turned corners, his mouth was unbearably tempting.

Cloud imagined it swollen with passion and washed with the color of lust.

Startled from his daydreams starring Leon's delectable mouth by the sudden awareness of a certain body part that was rapidly developing its own growing hunger for Leon's lips, Cloud shifted his position, not bothering to correct the older man when he mumbled an apology, assuming he had pulled a stitch. Drawn there by the touch of nimble fingers on his stomach, Cloud refocused his attention on Leon's hands instead.

They weren't overly large hands, though large enough, with broad palms and long slender fingers, and while strong, there was something delicate about them – not the sort of hands one would expect to find wielding a weapon. "You have nice hands." Cloud voiced the thought aloud.

Leon cast him a dubious glare.

Unfazed by Leon's evil eye, Cloud continued musing aloud. "The hands of an artist or a musician. A pianist," he proclaimed. "Or a doctor," he said, and a small but genuine smile lit up his face. "You'd make a fine doctor, Leon."

At that, Leon altogether stopped what he was doing and stared openly at Cloud. "Healing instead of killing?" he said, his face softening slightly as he tried the idea on for size. He evidently decided it didn't fit and added with a cynical snort, "Now there's a frightening idea."

"Only for your patients," Cloud replied. "You might want to work on your bedside manner a bit."

"What's wrong with my bedside manner?" Leon jested back, feigning offense, but a look of sadness momentarily darkened his eyes to a smoky blue. He must have realized that his vulnerability was showing, because he quickly hardened his face back into its usual mold and stated coldly, "Killing is all I've ever known."

Impulsively, Cloud reached for Leon's hand, surprising even himself with his boldness. Leon flinched at the unexpected contact, but didn't pull his hand away. "Still, that doesn't define who you are," Cloud said gently. Turning Leon's hand over in his slightly smaller one, he traced the strong life line along its prominent path.

"If you tell me I'm going to get married and have fourteen kids, I'm going to have to kill you," Leon threatened.

Cloud laughed and swore that he would never divulge such devastating news, even if it were true. "Your life is what you choose to make it," he said in a more solemn tone. "Someone once told me that." And then he smiled again, but this one was bittersweet and lacking in certainty, as if he didn't believe the words himself.

Not knowing what to say to that, Leon gently pulled his hand away and finished removing the last few stitches, then cleaned up a few small spots of blood with one last swipe of cotton. "Well, there you go," he stated. "Good as new."

But Cloud knew he would never be good as new.

۵۵۵۵۵

When Leon came back from putting away the supplies, Cloud had fallen asleep on top of the covers with his face buried in Leon's pillow. Leon unfolded one of his blankets and covered the sleeping man, catching himself just short of tucking him in. Then he grabbed his other blanket and Cloud's pillow and headed for the couch.

He lay awake for a while, just listening for the sounds that signaled the beginning of Cloud's nightmare, but they never came, and he felt his own eyelids growing heavy. Cloud's pillow smelled nice, like Cloud; fresh and light with just a hint of sweetness, like newly mowed grass. No ... like mountain air, clean and crisp. Like snow.

How appropriate, Leon thought, smiling into the pillow as he drifted off to sleep, and soon he was dreaming of snow...

All around him, snow was falling, and Shiva was there with her cold blue arms, reaching for him and laughing – laughing even as she faded away – and then it was Cloud standing there with outstretched arms, laughing and trying to catch the snowflakes on his tongue as they fell on his face like chaste little kisses. Then it was Leon who was falling like the snow and covering Cloud's face with kisses as the world around him turned to shades of blue and white – white snow, white skin, and blue, blue eyes.

Suddenly, the snow began to melt – cold white melting into sizzling blue – and Leon was afraid, afraid of drowning in all the melted snow, but then Cloud was there, holding him and touching him and kissing him back, kissing him hard and burning him up with his white-hot skin as they were swept away in the sizzling blue, and Leon woke with a start, still breathing hard as he looked around the room to get his bearings.

As his breathing returned to normal and his pulse began to slow, he became aware of the wetness at his groin, and he looked around the room again for witnesses, but thank god, there were none; the house was quiet and still. He got up and went to the bathroom to clean himself up and stopped to check on Cloud on the way back. He was still sleeping peacefully, his breathing regular and deep, and Leon let out his own shaky breath of relief.

Unwilling to face the truth of what had happened, he blamed it instead on the pillow that smelled like Cloud, and the amount of time he had been spending with Cloud, and the fact that lately his whole world seemed to revolve around Cloud. Angry and ashamed and afraid, he tossed the offending pillow to the other end of the couch and tried to go back to sleep, but it was hopeless and he knew it, because the fire from the kisses in his dream was still burning.