Chapter 10
Disclaimer : Nope dont own the Hardy Boys even now.
That night was not one of peaceful sleep for either of the brothers. Joe was besieged by the pain ravaging his body and the flush of fever that accompanied it. Frank on his part was left battling his brother's fever on one hand and helping him to find some relief from the pain on the other. The pain killers had dulled the pain but it was not enough to completely eradicate it and Frank found himself just holding his brother through half the night hoping he would get some sleep. It was no surprise therefore that in the morning it was a couple of tired raccoon eyed individuals who woke up to face the day.
"unn" Joe's groggy voice roused Frank from his restless sleep. "Joe, what is it?" Frank called out automatically checking his brother for fever. Joe was still a bit too warm for comfort but thankfully it was not high enough to raise concern. Frank got up from the bed, his sleep now completely gone and glanced at the clock. It was only six thirty but too late to go back to sleep anyway. Deciding to ditch the bed he made his way to the kitchen, at least he might feel a bit more human after some caffeine inside him.
One cup of coffee later and feeling more alive he rushed back to Joe's side with a cup of tea. "Wake up kiddo. Have some tea, it will make you feel better" he coaxed and was rewarded with hazy blue eyes looking at him. It had taken Frank a lot of effort the previous night but he had somehow managed to take out Joe's contact lenses and he felt far better looking at Joe's blue eyes. "Frank? What's going on? What are you doing here..and you look like shit" Joe's disoriented voice floated in the silent room as he struggled to sit up. Frank rolled his eyes and hurried to support his brother who was realizing that his body was not exactly at a hundred percent. A few agonizing minutes later he was propped up against the bed with a cup of tea in his hand. "Well thanks for the compliment" Frank commented drily "not that you look any better and drink the tea before it gets cold".
Joe obeyed and felt his awareness become sharper with the first hot sip and he looked at his brother contemplatively. "Thanks for coming, I needed this…I needed you" he confessed quietly before following it up with another query. "But why? I mean I get it that you were worried but this could be bad". Frank gave Joe a serious look and took a deep breath. Here went nothing, if Joe still stuck to his stubborn chant Frank might just end up losing his temper. "Joe there are some things I need to make clear. No..Just let me explain" he said as Joe started to interrupt and Joe fell silent nodding at him to continue.
So Frank did "Joe you are doing a terrific job out there and you want me to stay behind the scenes. I get that but what you need to understand is that I am a capable agent…specifically field agent too. You need to trust me to keep my cover especially when you know my abilities more than anyone else. I was going spare sitting out there and hearing you cry out in pain. It is the singularly most horrific moment in my life and our lives have not exactly been a walk in the park. You have no idea how absolutely helpless and useless it made me feel and don't you dare say that me keeping away is more important than being here. If you were in my position what would you do?"
"Rant, rave, destroy the room, punch whoever tries to stop me and no one absolutely could keep me away from getting to you" Joe answered equally quietly while lifting his cup in a silent salute to his brother. "I am sorry for relegating you to the sidelines but thanks for humoring me. I knew it was difficult for you but I didn't realize that it was this difficult. I am sorry. I am also glad you did the wiser thing and chose not to listen to me but if you ever disclose this in public I will disown you" he smiled wincing as the stitches in his collarbone made themselves felt.
"What hurts?" Frank asked catching the grimace and Joe turned hazy pain filled eyes on him "everything" he gasped and closed his eyes leaning back on the pillow. He knew from experience that he could never fool Frank when he was injured. His big brother seemed to have X-ray vision especially tuned to him. "Joe, what are you going to do?" the anxiety was making an appearance back into Frank's countenance and Joe felt bad for being the cause of it. He was running Frank ragged and it pinged at his conscience. He knew how seriously Frank took his brotherly duties and he knew this was weighing on him. He wanted to magic away the situation and assure Frank that everything was smooth and would be but sadly that was not the case leaving him searching for an answer to the question.
"You are running a temperature and even getting out of bed is an effort. How are you going to manage the drop?" Frank asked making Joe look at him again. "I don't exactly have a choice do I? I will manage…I always do. Now tell me what the next course of action is" Joe retorted trying to take his mind of the pain that invaded his body. Frank huffed out a breath "yeah you are right, I haven't had a chance to fill you in" he said and proceeded to tell him about the plan he and Paul had hatched and executed. "I am sorry I didn't tell you earlier but it seemed to be the better play then. I didn't expect Alex to go after you though" he said regretfully.
Joe nodded tiredly "neither did I but there's no point discussing that. That's not going to take us anywhere. So, I take this Rafe's place and do some drug dealing and then what? How do we take this further" Joe wondered as he sipped his tea. "We have an idea…" Frank started hesitatingly and Joe raised an eyebrow "tell me" he commanded. Frank took a breath and explained the plan to hit at multiple drop points simultaneously using the police and ending his explanation with "but I honestly don't know how to keep you out of it". Joe placed the now empty cup on the bedside and swung his legs on the floor "well that's simple. You don't. You will just dig my grave deeper and you know it".
Frank nodded with a troubled expression "I know ...I know" he said running a hand through his hair in exasperation. "And..what are you doing getting out of bed?" he demanded seeing that Joe was now in the process of trying to stand up without feeling woozy. Automatically he reached out a hand steadying his brother who was now heading in the direction of the bathroom. "Frank it's morning and there is such a thing as restroom needs" he quipped attempting to walk without a grimace.
"Fine..just don't lock the door and your contact lenses are on the counter. Put them back on and be careful. There is a ton load of meds circulating within you now" Frank reminded his brother as Joe nodded grimly. "Believe me I can feel it" he muttered under his breath and made his way to the bathroom.
Five or fifteen minutes and an almost freaked out older brother later Joe walked out of the bathroom and made his way haltingly to the bed. Utterly exhausted, he flopped on the bed and turned a despairing look in Frank's direction "that took everything out of me…what am I going to do when Alex calls?" he whispered. Now it was Frank who looked determined "you will feel better after some food talking of which, Mike should be here anytime with breakfast. You take the rest of the meds and you have time till the afternoon to recoup. Right now just concentrate on getting some rest". Joe nodded and closed his eyes muttering "we were discussing the next plan and you should let it play out. I will deal with it as the circumstances arise…I will try to evade the police like any drug dealer would but if I get arrested I get arrested. I cannot get special treatment from the police".
"But Joe, you are hurt..what if the police hurt you further? At this rate you won't be able to function" Frank cautioned. "Two days…give it a couple of days and then set it up. By then I won't be so banged up and trust me this time I won't let them do what they want to me…the mob that is. This time Alan Cruise will stand up for himself" Joe reassured his brother. Frank sighed "I don't know what I should be worrying about more. You being hurt by the police or you being hurt by the mob. Either option is not encouraging".
Joe grinned "there's a third option. Your brother busting the mob leader's ass. Don't worry so much I will be fine, your brother is the next superman". Frank huffed and looked at the clock "where is Mike by the way?" he fretted just as the doorbell rang. Joe looked at Frank "it's him I suppose" he called out as Frank got the door. Ushering Mike in, Frank headed back to Joe's side. The next half an hour was spent making their way through breakfast and some more coffee and then it was time for Mike to leave. He turned to Frank "so are you coming with me?" he asked turning the room to pure ice.
All the warmth seemed to flee from the room and Joe recoiled from the words that sent his heart plummeting to his stomach. Just for a few hours he had forgotten everything and he had been just Joe. No Alan, no Alex, no drugs, no nightmares or fears. Now everything came back multiplied. The house that had felt almost normal now seemed bleak and he could already feel the loneliness emanating from the walls. Every pore of him screamed for Frank's presence beside him. It made everything normal…everything tolerable…everything manageable. But not yet, his reprieve was not there yet. There was too much to do..too much of a duty call and he looked at Frank through hooded eyes. It was like looking into a mirror and Joe needed no words from Frank. This was tearing him apart as well and Joe decided to make it easier for his brother. "Yes..he is coming with you" he said decisively as Frank got ready to argue the point. "Frank we have a job to do and you taught me to do it sincerely. I will be fine and we have the phone and this as well" he said holding up his arm with the implant.
Frank sighed defeated. He moved forward and hugged Joe who clung to him fiercely. "Take your meds and try to rest. I want to be here for when Alex calls but you know how it is.." he trailed off. Joe nodded against Frank's shoulder "I will talk to you when he calls…you go now" he urged disengaging himself from his brother. "Take care of yourself" Frank cautioned as he followed Mike out the door. Joe let out a resigned sigh and sank onto the sofa feeling alone. The silence was much too loud in the apartment and he felt the walls closing in on him again. He gritted his teeth in frustration..he was not a child. He could live alone without his brother thank you very much and he could take care of himself too. Determined not to feel depressed he decided to take Frank's advice and within minutes he was almost asleep when his phone rang.
Feeling every muscle tense he took the call "hello". "Alan, the boss asked you to come to South Avenue behind Napier College at five thirty. He will tell you what to do then" a man's voice gave out the instructions. "Yeah will do…who is this by the way?" Joe asked as the man replied "It doesn't matter who I am. Just be there" and then the line went dead. "So much for being friendly" Joe muttered under his breath as he turned in to get some more sleep before the day got away from him.
It was around two when his alarm went off signaling that he needed to wake up and officially start his day. Battling the exhaustion that still licked at his body he sat up and tried to gather his thoughts into some semblance of order. First he had to have lunch, shower and then head to wherever South Avenue was. Seemed pretty easy on the surface but he knew the execution would be a real challenge and over thinking things was not going to help any.
Mind made up and set on a plan of action he got up from the bed and was pleased to note that he was already feeling better. The rest coupled with whatever meds the doctor had given had definitely worked and his trip to the bathroom this time was infinitely better. Soon he had made himself a couple of sandwiches which he took the time to eat slowly and then made his call to Frank. He let him know that he was feeling better and he could hear the change in his brother's voice and the relief it carried. For some reason it deeply touched him, not that he expected any less but still..anyway next on the list was the shower and he once again found that being on his feet was becoming better.
Soon it was time for him to head out and after consulting the map he made his way to the venue. Alex was already waiting for him leaning casually against the tree on the side of the road. Joe approached him giving away nothing in his expression. If Alex was going to play dumb then so was he. Without further ado, Alex gave him an assessing look and handed over a satchel. "You need to push at least three of the packets by the night. Get going" he commanded curtly. Joe received the satchel and fixed the boss with a look of his own "you can't expect people to buy this from a stranger right away. I need some time, give me a few days. You know that's how it works".
The boss nodded curtly "you have three days to show that you have what it takes. Get going and don't bother getting up to any mischief. Nick will be here to keep an eye on you" he warned as he walked towards the parking where he got into his car and drove away. Feeling sick at what he was about to do he started walking towards Napier College very much aware of the eyes that were following his every move. Cursing under his breath he scouted the college and noticed several students walking out with their backpacks. He let his eyes rove looking for the tell-tale signs of drug usage and found it on a couple of students, a boy and a girl.
"Hi there" he said approaching the two students armed with a paper in his hand. The students looked at him suspiciously and the boy addressed him "who are you? What do you want?" he asked. Joe gave a disarming smile "I just need some directions. Do you know this address?" he asked handing the paper over. The boy looked at it cursorily "It's just a block away. But there are no shops or houses there" he commented puzzled. "Oh I am not buying, I am selling" Joe answered and saw the understanding dawn on the boy's face. "Ohkay…what do you sell?" he asked as if he just wanted confirmation rather than information and Joe took the opening. "Bliss…nirvana…you name it" he dropped the words in a hush and made sure that that boy caught a glimpse of the white packet in his hand.
"What are your rates?" the girl butted in then getting straight to the point and looking rather irritated at all the hints. "Oh a straight forward question and I like it young lady" Joe retorted with a leering smile before giving out the price fixed by Alex. "Geez you are expensive" the girl retorted while not objecting to the looks that Joe was giving her and his response of "the price is in keeping with quality as you very well know" seemed to satisfy her. Joe realized in that moment that she had merely tested the waters and he was torn when the couple actually wound up buying the stuff from him. He felt dirty and sullied and a rock weighed at the bottom of his heart. What the hell was he doing! Over the course of the evening Joe did manage to find one more buyer before he handed over the money to Alex and went back to his apartment feeling more depressed than ever.
He sank onto the sofa and buried his face in his hands. Every part of his body was screaming in pain but it was all eclipsed by the pain in his heart. He had actually sold drugs on the roads to kids barely still in college. Rage and self-loathing stirred in his gut and he felt tears gather in his eyes. There was no one to hold his hand this time and he felt the grief of his actions take over as he slid to the ground and cried. He cried for the crime he had committed, for guiding two young people on the wrong path and most of all for losing Joe Hardy to Alan Cruise. Who was he? Joe or Alan? The lines were blurring and he felt he was losing his own self day by day. His lies had been perfect and they had flowed without effort. Who was he? What was he?
His inner turmoil was interrupted by the sound of the phone ringing. He picked it up to see Frank's face on the screen and had half a mind to abort the call. He could not face his brother like this…he was not the Joe that Frank loved. He was someone else….and then it was Frank's voice butting into his thoughts. "Don't you dare terminate the call or I swear I will come over. Joe talk to me…damn it. Talk to me" and Joe reluctantly looked into the screen. He knew that there were tear tracks on his face and he looked something awful but he couldn't find it in himself to care.
"Joe, look at me" Frank's voice commanded and Joe blindly obeyed. His mind was mush and he was emotionally empty right now. "I know what you are thinking and let me tell you…you are not lost. Only the Joe I know would be crying over possibly doing someone an injustice. You are still you and doing a job. You are just doing a job and sometimes you need to remind yourself that you are human. A very good human in fact if you can still have regrets over doing something that is not exactly within your control. There was nothing you could have done and remember we are doing this to bring about something really good. Besides, it is not as though those two kids would not have bought it from someone else. At least this way we can counsel them at a later stage and maybe even rid them of the addiction. Think of the good side Joe…are you even listening?" Frank paused to take a look at his brother and was gratified to see the nod in his direction.
"Good. If you are listening then you must realize that you selling this thing is a better thing than them getting it elsewhere. At least this way we can have a record of the users and do something later on. You are doing a good thing Joe…and don't ever think twice. Now, tell me what was bugging you?"
Joe smiled thinly and waved a hand "what's there to say? You said it all but it's scary Frank. Sometimes I wonder who I am …Joe or Alan and I am afraid" he confessed but Frank's eyes glittered with determination. "Joe that is exactly the reason you are playing the part and not me and that is a good thing. You have always been able to play the parts …connect…empathize with people and this is just an extension of it. Stop overthinking it…that's my job and get some rest. Your body needs to heal and trust me all this won't seem so bad when you are at full strength" he admonished.
"Fine, you makes sense but why is it so hard for me to believe?" the plaintive note in Joe's voice almost broke Frank but right now he had to be strong. "Because when it comes to blaming oneself you take the cake, baker and the bakery. Right now you just need to concentrate on becoming better and take one step at a time. Believe me I am there to keep you on track so let yourself go. I am there to catch your fall" Frank spoke quietly but also firmly. It was important to get through to Joe and Frank knew how difficult that was considering his brother's propensity to carry immense loads of undeserved guilt. So it was a relief when he heard the welcome words from Joe.
"Okay big bro and Frank…thanks for hearing me out" Joe said quietly as Frank smiled. For now disaster was averted. "Anytime little brother..anytime. I am with you all the way. Now go sleep and I will take care of erasing our conversations from both ends" he reassured in his 'big brother' voice. Joe smiled back and with a huge yawn bid his goodbyes before heading to the bed and falling asleep fully clothed.
Author notes: Thank you for the wonderful response to the last chapter. I am glad that I reached you as an author and hoping to do justice with this one too. I don't need to say it out loud. You all know how reviews get me going. So please let me know your thoughts and views and hope to hear from you soon. Take care and stay safe.
P.S: the road and college names are random ideas and if it coincides with anything it is not intentional.
