A/N: I had definitely not been planning on a second part for this. But quite a lot of people pointed out a character flaw with our favorite male Bounty Hunter that didn't sit well with me and needed to be addressed and rectified. So… I let him do all the work. There had actually been a plan of turning this into an M-chapter as well, with him handing the control over to her at the end, but somehow I figured, it would dimmish the point I was trying to make. So, are we good again? Kudos to Sox21, aruvqan, JB, several Guests, ChristinaS and Tommy14 for pointing out the flaw I hadn't been thinking about. I appreciate it. I borrowed a few of your words from your reviews and hope you don't mind so much ...
I knew something was up, I just wasn't able to decipher what it was yet.
About two hours ago Steph had left for lunch with Lula and Connie and ever since she came back an hour ago she was acting weird, seeming absent minded most of the time and looking at me with odd eyes. I had known her long enough to know simply asking her wouldn't get me any real answer. Her's and everyone's favorite always had been "fine" even when she wasn't. Not that I could blame here, me, Tank or really anyone working here was more or less the same as well.
For an hour or two I entertained the naïve idea that she'd come around and tell me eventually what bugged her, but gave up on it quickly when it became obvious that she wouldn't make it that easy for me.
Since she had been her normal, cheery self before she left, I figured the shift in her mood was connected to her lunch. While my woman had a whole armada of people in her life that could talk her from a high into a depressing state within seconds, Connie and Lula weren't any of them. They usually made her laugh and gave her crazy ideas and as far as I am aware, their favorite topic of conversation was me, Steph and our past time activities. Or rather one very specific activity.
I only knew about their rather heated exchange due to the fact that during one of their lunches it happened that some of my men had been around for their very own lunch order and became involuntary witnesses to their conversations. I might not have been ecstatic with their intel but preferred them coming to me for an extend amount of teasing rather than Steph, seeing as she'd probably be mortified, knowing some of my men had overheard whatever had been shared.
Another hour ticked by with her being as odd as the past two and I decided to tackle this head first before it would grow into an actual problem.
"Could I see you in my office?" I asked her after getting up from behind my desk and walked towards my door, leaning against the frame.
She looked up surprised and her expression equaled a deer caught in headlights. For a second I wondered whether she was worried about something but dismissed that idea a second later when she nodded and got up.
I closed the door behind us, well aware what probably every single one of my men was thinking right about now, but not really caring.
She sat in the chair opposite my desk and after a moment of hesitation I decided against sitting back down behind my desk and chose the edge of my desk as a viable seating option. Something was bugging her and I worried creating distance between the two of us with my desk between us wasn't going to help.
"What's going on?" I started right away in a calm voice, seeing her look at me confused.
"What do you mean?" she replied expectantly.
"Ever since you came back from lunch you are not yourself and I can tell that something is bugging you. Did Connie or Lula say something bad about… well, about anything?"
She looked at me for several long moments, the internal battle clearly visible on her features. I was about to follow up with another statement of question, when she surprised me with a question of her own.
"Do you think we resolve our issues with sex?"
"I'm sorry?" I just asked, seeing as I had expected a whole lot of things for her to say but that definitely not being one of the options.
"Instead of talking things through and having a fight... Do you think we revert to sex as a measure of not talking about stuff?"
"Babe," I started. "You can talk to me about everything anytime and I hope you know that," I said, hopefully reassuring her. "Do we get it on a lot more than most people? Definitely. But is it a coping mechanism or a way to not talk about stuff? Definitely not. We just enjoy each others company in the most basic and primal way and there is nothing wrong with that. I hope you know that whenever you want and need to talk about something, I wouldn't just come onto you and divert a conversion with sex."
She looked at me for a long moment, somehow not seeming convinced. What the hell had Lula and Connie said to her?
"I… um… it's just that it was pointed out to me that whenever there is something happening, we usually end up in bed together and never talk about the issue that led to the sex. And I don't blame you, seeing as I am a very willing participant and give probably as good as I get, but… I can't help but wonder. Don't we talk?"
I looked at her for a long moment, not entirely sure how to tackle that issue. I saw where she was coming from, no questions asked. Especially since it seemed my control went out the window whenever she did anything really. I became even worse when her rare character trait of jealousy flared up and she was possessed by a fire that was usually not there. In these moments I knew it were here real and raw emotions and the usual cloak to cover up whatever was really going on was gone. While it was not really possible to have a conversation with her in such a state it at least gave me a glimpse of her state of mind and what was going on.
"Personally speaking, I don't think talking has ever been much of a problem between the two of us. But I believe we are not necessarily prime examples of how to do it properly. We are masters of evasion and avoidance. We are always 'fine' when asked what's going on with us and always is just peachy," I explained and saw her laugh. The first time these past few hours. Looks like I was doing something right. "What?" I asked amused at her laugher.
"I never thought I hear you say the word 'peachy'," she clarified and I just smiled at her.
"It fit the occasion," I shrugged and saw her smile some more. "But that is my point, we… we hide behind what we are taught when growing up – or in my case being a tough guy and from the military. Our communication could be better, but than again, we make it work and I don't get the impression you mind an awful lot. But please, if you do, let me know."
Instead of a reply she nodded and just hummed, giving me a feeling like there was more to this.
"And maybe you could tell me what this is really about? Other than our style of communication? There's something I'm missing," I conducted and saw her looking at me guiltily with big eyes. Oh yeah, this wasn't just about our lack of talking. Though, in all fairness we did talk. A lot. Just maybe not about issues. But up to this point I hadn't really noticed. We made it work and personally, I didn't find our way of dealing bad as such. Healthy? Maybe not really either. "Talk to be, Babe. What's going on?" I tried encouraging her. I really did not like when something was bothering her that I couldn't fix.
After what seemed forever, she sighed loudly and looked at me again. "Lula… she um….," Steph started, but stopped again.
"What did Lula do?"
"I …um ….About yesterday, when I mentioned what we did – in a shorter version," she tried again, her face all of a sudden displaying a lovely shade of crimson, which most likely resulted out of a memory about what we did yesterday, in the shower and later on in bed, still showing an incredible amount of innocence. "Or even before that, the last few times…" she went on, making me wonder where this was leading to.
"Did you not like it?" I asked cautiously, uncertain about how to proceed. We might have been rather crappy at communication throughout this relationship, but I knew one thing, if Stephanie Plum did not want to do something or partake in something she'd let you know. Loud and clear.
"No, no, of course. You know that," she was quick in erasing my worries. "I don't think there's anything you do that I wouldn't like."
Well, good to know. But it didn't help finding the answer to what was bugging her. What could Lula have possibly said?
"You'd tell me if I ever push you too far, right?" I asked, probably more for my own sanity than hers since I liked to believe she would. I just needed to make sure. And for the first time in a very, very long time I felt uncertain about a whole lot of things.
"Of course," she replied almost instantly and looked like she was taken aback. Good, it seemed like we made little progress in regards to getting her back into her usual self and also hopefully towards the answer of what was going on and what had happened during lunch. "It's just… Lula mentioned something which made me think," she went on before I could try and find another way to coax whatever was bothering her out.
There was a part of me that was about to ask whether Lula had been inappropriate or put her in an awkward spot, but remembered that we were talking about Lula, who seemed to be only inappropriate. Not that made anything better.
The thing with Steph was that her experiences so far had been rather vanilla compared to Lula's or mine. But than again, Lula could blame her old profession in regards to knowledge and experience, I could just blame me. Or my sick and also open mind. Steph grew up rather guarded and with a certain catholic guilt that made her never venture out into the world of possibilities. While I had a catholic upbringing as well, it didn't stop my exploring and testing. But than again didn't I grow up in the Burg, surrounded by Burg-people and their mindsets.
I'd like to think that since I stepped into her – and definitely since we started dating – I managed to broaden her horizon, but we technically still had quite a journey ahead of us. Not that this mattered since I didn't care one way or another, but I knew that – at least in the beginning – Stephanie fought herself a lot in regards to her lack of experience. I tried easing these worries, honestly not caring either way. To some degree I'd like to think she tries making up for lost experiences since we started doing our thing.
So, my initial thought that Lula had been inappropriate and put her in an awkward spot might not be too far off.
"What did she say?" I asked and saw her look up at me once more.
"Promise you won't get…upset or angry?" she asked and I just nodded, not entirely sure what Lula could have possibly said that might madden me. She hadn't succeeded so far, so I was almost certain it couldn't be that bad. Unless it of course maddened Steph. Then I would be mad in her name.
I heard another long sigh and what looked like she was collecting all her strength.
"Lula pointed out that …she drew a certain parallel to…," Steph started but stopped again, taking another breathe. And now I really started to worry. She started once more, this time seeming a little more collected. "You know how you kept telling me that the thing between Morelli and me was unhealthy and how he used his strength, sex appeal and dominating personality to disarm me when I was angry and about to walk out?" she asked and I just nodded, remembering this conversation very well. As a matter of fact, we have had this kind of conversation several times. "Lula wondered whether you are not doing the same," I heard her all of a sudden go on, the sentence almost being swallowed whole, seeing how fast she said it.
My first response was to shout a 'What?' into the room, but I knew better, so I collected myself and tried to remain calm. This wouldn't get me anywhere.
"Do you think the same way?" I asked and saw her look at nothing in particular.
"Not really, but you have to admit we resolve a lot of our arguments in the bedroom," she admitted, a smile gracing her lips by the end of her statement.
"Would you prefer them taking place elsewhere and me maybe yelling or throwing a plate or two in the process?" I joked and saw her smile some more.
"Not that I would want that, but it would technically mean make-up sex," she laughed and I needed to laugh with her.
"Then see it as us having make-up sex without there being anything that we need to make up for in the first place," I suggested and saw her think about that for a second. "But," I went on before she had a chance to reply to my suggestion. "I don't see us as Lula does. I don't try to muscle you into submission or disarm your anger. It's just that I get to see this fired up side of you so rarely that it quite honestly turns me on like hell. I'm sorry if me loosing my cool gives you a feeling of me controlling you or the situation. It isn't, I promise you. I don't try to divert your attention, mind or avoid the issue, I'm just… a guy who can't seem to keep his hands off you. Especially when you are all firecracker."
She laughed at that and for the first time today I was actually seeing a sparkle return to her eyes.
"While I don't think you are or compare you with what Morelli did on a regular basis and I actually feel appreciated by you, it was hard listening to Lula pointing out all the things I hated about Morelli and what he did and how I let you… do the same and not complain. It made me wonder whether I was just repeating past behavior."
I pushed myself up from my desk and walked those one or two steps towards her chair, crouching in front of her a moment later and grabbing her hands tightly in mine. How badly had I screwed this up?
"I love you," I said, bringing her hands to my lips and pressing them against the back of her hands. "As a matter of fact, it is scary how much I actually love you. I would never knowingly do anything that would cause you discomfort or push you past your limits. We are both passionate people and it seems to me like we managed to resolve most of our issues better in a non-verbal way than a verbal one. And while that is per se not a bad thing, it also leaves a lot of space for doubt. I don't ever want you doubting us or yourself. I never intended on coming on as strong and forceful as I probably did, but I always did it thinking you'd be 100% in it and for it and enjoy it. Never was it my idea that you'd see this as me overpowering you, or using my muscles and charm to dissolve a heated situation to my advantage. Your pleasure and love is the most important thing to me and the means that I'm willing to use to achieve that are endless. But I also see how my actions can come across as manipulating and portrait me as a dominating SOB."
She laughed at my last comment. "Are you trying to convince me you are not dominating?" she asked amused.
"Hell no. We both know better, but I would like to say I'm not necessarily an SOB."
"Well, I guess that kind of depends on who you ask," she answered with a grin and before I could question her any further, she went on. "I'm almost certain your FTAs might not agree.
"True," I admitted, "but they deserve it, you don't. You don't deserve anything bad in this world. What you deserve is a guy who makes sure you are only surrounded with good things and who makes it his mission in life to guarantee you your happiness all day every day. And it seems I failed miserably at that task."
"Do you see me yelling at you? Or storming out of here?"
"No, but what I see is you, who has spent a few hours thinking over what Lula has said to you. Especially in regards to me and Morelli. And the fact that she managed to make you at least think I was as bad as Morelli tells me I did fail at least to some degree."
"You didn't. She just caught me at a…vulnerable moment," Steph admitted and I wondered what made her so vulnerable to begin with. Until I actually remembered.
"Let's talk about yesterday," I offered and saw her blush furiously a second later.
"I don't think we have to talk about it," she offered and I grinned at her for a second.
"Oh, we so do. But I think your idea of what I want to talk about is very different from the topic I intend to debate. This has nothing to do with the sex."
"It's not?" she asked curious and I shook my head.
"No, it is rather what led up to the sex."
"That I was so angry that I wanted to hit you?" she asked and I shook my head once more.
"Further back," I promoted and saw her think about that for a second.
"Her?" she tried once more and I just nodded.
"I know that in your field of work, you'll run into women, or her specifically. The bonds business isn't very big around here and there aren't a million people in it, so you are bound to run into her sooner or later. I just… I can't stand her and everything she stands for. I hate that she has that power over me and makes me go crazy."
"All valid points, Babe," I agreed. "She overstepped several unprofessional boundaries, even after I told her I'm involved and she should keep her hands to herself."
"You told her that?" she asked curious and I looked surprised at her.
"Of course. But with her being her obnoxious self she didn't listen. Or wouldn't want to listen. So, unless I wanted to break one of her skinny fingers, there was very little I could so, other than speeding that meeting along and making arrangements for the future. I called her out on her behavior several times, but she just shrugged as if she didn't care."
"What arrangements?" Stephanie asked, not getting into everything I did or tried doing.
"Mainly it is that Tank will handle the meetings with her. And if it is absolutely necessary, I'll sit in with him and probably some third person. If push comes to shove and she doesn't back off, I have no problem cutting all ties with Sebring. It isn't like I need his business desperately. Though he pushes a large amount of high bonds towards us, we still have enough other bonds offices with us as well as all the alphabet agencies to not cry over losing him. You are more important to me than his business or her as a liaison. And maybe I should have told you that last night."
She surprised me by getting up from her chair and pulling me up with her. "Maybe. But all is good as long as you keep telling me," she agreed and pulled me in for a soft kiss a second later.
"I promise to work on my end of the communication skills," I said between kisses and felt her smile against my lips.
"There's not really much of a need. As you said so correctly before, we hardly get into arguments you can go all dominating alpha on me, as long as you remember there might be a time and place when I stop you."
"Anytime you want, Babe, anytime you want," I just promised her and pulled her in for another kiss, this one a lot less softer than the previous ones.
