Chapter Seventeen: I'm Sorry
Back to school was slowly approaching for Cara as it was arriving in two days. She had never felt so anxious for a while. Since James' accident, she never felt the dread taking over her. Everything changed since the accident that her bullies caused. The bullies were punished, James got blind, and now school was coming up. This was so much for the young girl.
As she was in the lounge room, reading her braille book about another classic fairytale, her thoughts began to race, "I can't believe it happened so quickly from the accident to James being blind like me and now school. Oh, I don't want to go to school again. What if I get bullied more or worse?"
With all these irrational thoughts, she couldn't concentrate on reading; as she dropped the book and began to sob. It was too much for her. It didn't seem real to her, but it was. As she wept, her mother came into the room and noticed her daughter crying, "Cara? What's wrong?", she asked gently as she slowly approached her child.
Cara looked up as she wiped her tears away and looked at her mother with glistening milky eyes, "I don't think I can go to school again."
Rayne was surprised about this as she sat next to her daughter and wrapped her arm around Cara's back, "Why's that, dear?"
"Because… I might get bullied again, and James… I won't be able to see him as he's not allowed to pull passengers.", Cara sniffed as she wiped her remaining tears away.
"Oh, honey. I'm sorry to hear that.", Rayne soothed her.
There, Rayne wrapped her other arm around Cara for a hug as she tried to calm her daughter down. Cara felt the embrace from her mother as it made her feel better, "But, Mum… I'm so worried. Why do I feel this way?"
Rayne looked at her daughter with a sad look as she replied, "That's because you care, but sometimes, you have to embrace the changes and prepare yourself. If you do get bullied, you can always tell me. Mummy has your back."
"And James? Will he be okay?", Cara asked worryingly.
"I'm sure he will be fine. He may not see, but you showed him that being blind is fine, didn't you?", Rayne asked with a warm smile.
Cara only responded with a slight nod and a hum, "See, James will be alright. Try not to worry too much, dear. You said his therapy went well today. He's improving.", Rayne explained.
This made Cara feel a bit better as she smiled back, "Thanks, Mum."
"No problem, sweetie. If you need to talk about your problems, you can always tell me.", Rayne reminded.
There, the two embraced the hug as Cara felt a bit better. Although her worries about James died down as she knew how confident and capable James was, the lingering fear of school was still playing in her mind, "But… what if school doesn't go well?"
…
"Zero eyes! Zero eyes!"
"You're worthless!"
"You're so clumsy!"
"What's the matter, can't watch where you're going?"
Cara squinted her eyes in her sleep as she began to toss and turn.
"Stop it.", she mumbled in her sleep.
"Help!"
"Don't worry, James! We're coming!"
"I'm coming off the rails!"
"No.", Cara mumbled again as she panted from having shallow breaths.
As she tried to sleep, all the voices of the events kept playing in her head as it was too much to bear. However, when she heard the crashing noise in her sleep and the laughter of the bullies, she jolted out of bed and gasped. She never felt the fright that bad. She looked everywhere, even though she couldn't see anything. However, when she felt the bed underneath her as the cosy blanket, she knew it was just a nightmare.
She sighed in relief, "It was all just a bad dream. Phew."
However, as she sighed in relief, she heard a familiar whistle. She looked out the window and heard Henry puffing passed by. Hearing her friend's whistle comforted her as she went to the window and felt the night's breeze. However, when she heard Henry's whistle, she then remembered James and the crash incident. She couldn't help but feel guilty for not saving him in time. Even though she acted fine in front of her friends, deep down, she felt a tremendous amount of remorse and guilt, "I'm so sorry, James."
There, she laid her head gently on the window stool as she allowed the wind to dry the tears that were escaping from her eyes. All the events were too much for the young girl as she began to feel tired again. She began to close her eyes and fell asleep on the stool. This time, she slept more peacefully.
…
Dawn slowly rose as the sun shone on the young sleeping girl. Feeling the warmth from the sun awoke Cara as she began to stretch and yawn cutely. Once she was up, she saw the view and heard the birds singing. It was soothing for her as she sighed with such content. Once she was fully awake, she approached her alarm clock and tapped on it to prevent it from making such dreadful noise as she placed her flower theme slippers on.
After she was ready, she headed to the kitchen as her mother greeted her, "Good morning, sweetheart. Did you sleep well?"
"Yeah, I did.", Cara lied as Rayne presented her some butter pancakes and a glass of water, "Smells good, Mum."
"I'm glad to hear that. Now, enjoy your breakfast and get ready for today's therapy.", Rayne reminded her daughter as she began to fill the sink with water and soap.
Cara nodded as she ate her breakfast to her heart's content. Having pancakes in the morning did make her feel better and forget about her guilt for James and fear for tomorrow's school. As she ate, Stella greeted her with a happy bark as Cars pet her, "Hello, Stella."
Stella panted before smelling the delicious pancakes and began to whine, "Stella. You can't have my pancakes.", Cara tried not to laugh.
However, Stella only drooled while giving her puppy eyes while still whining for one. However, when Cara had one pancake left, she giggled as she presented it to Stella, "Okay. But just one."
Stella got excited as she happily took the pancake away from Cara and began to eat it, "Cara. What did I say about feeding Stella?", Rayne asked her daughter with a smirk.
"Not to fall for her beg.", Cara replied.
"That's right. Now, go get ready while I'll do the dishes.", said Rayne as she collected the dish and cup.
Cara wasted no time as she made her way to her room by feeling her surroundings and began to change to her casual flower-themed clothes to brush her hair and place her headband on her head. Once that was done, she tied her hair in a low ponytail without help as she felt proud.
When she was ready, she went to the bathroom and brushed her teeth. Once that was done, she heard a knock at the door, "I'll get it!", Rayne cried as Cara rushed to get to the front door.
As Rayne opened the door, she was greeted by Dr. Clarity, "Good morning, Miss Anderson."
"Good morning, Dr. Clarity.", Rayne greeted back.
"Is Cara ready?", Dr. Clarity asked with a warm smile.
"I am, Miss!", Cara called as she rushed and got to the front door.
"I'm glad to hear that. Now, are you ready to help James?", Dr. Clarity asked.
Cara nodded as a reply. With that, Cara asked if she could hang out with James. Rayne replied with a yes as Cara and Dr. Clarity headed to Dr. Clarity's vehicle. Once the two hopped inside, Cara waved at her mother as Dr. Clarity drove her to Knapford. However, during the drive, Cara's thoughts played again as she sighed, "I hope all goes well."
…
At Knapford Station, James did his therapy with the help of Edward, Dr. Clarity, and Cara. James was improving significantly as he managed to pull the coaches further than last time and managed to pull the brakes correctly. James felt proud of himself as Dr. Clarity, and Cara praised his efforts. Once the therapy was over as Dr. Clarity left, Edward helped James and Cara get to Tidmouth Sheds so they could spend their day together as best friends.
…
Once they arrived at Tidmouth Sheds, Edward left the two alone as Cara sat on James' running plate. As the two were alone, Cara was awfully quiet as she looked straight ahead, feeling a knot in her stomach. James noticed her and asked, "What's the matter, Cara? You seem awfully quiet?"
Cara gasped silently as she put on a fake smile, "Oh, I'm fine. It's just I was enjoying the peace, that's all."
However, James didn't buy it as he gave her a slight frown, "Are you sure? Lately, I noticed you've been quieter than ever. Usually, you're so talkative, but now it's like you've lost your voice. Is there something bothering you?"
"Yes… I mean, no! I'm just nervous.", Cara tried to cover up her true feelings as she looked down with a frown.
James was now worried about his best friend. She was quieter than ever, and this wasn't her, "Cara. If there's something wrong, you can tell me.", be assured her gently.
When he spoke, Cara began to tear up and replied with a choked voice, "I'm… sorry."
James couldn't hear what she said, "What's that?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.
There, Cara began to hug James' cheek and sobbed, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't save you on time.", she cried.
James gasped in surprise as he felt sorry for her, "Now you're blind, you'll probably won't see again because of me!", Cara sobbed harder.
This made James' firebox dim as he listened to her cry. It hurt his feelings as he tried to soothe her, "It's okay, Cara. It's not your fault."
"Yes, it is.", Cara replied as she sobbed again, "If it weren't for me being your friend, you wouldn't be in this mess."
James was heartbroken. Cara blamed herself for something she didn't do, and Cara seemed to feel like her friendship ruined his life, "Perhaps we shouldn't be friends.", Cara cried.
This horrified James, "Cara! Don't you ever say that again! It's not your fault! Our friendship didn't ruin everything! It changed me for the better!"
Cara sniffed, "How?"
"By making me understand how blind people can be just as capable.", James replied as he then spoke gently, "You showed me many things that I never thought of. Things that you can do that I thought you couldn't. Reading books, playing the guitar, and appreciating the weather. All those things amaze me."
Cara listened and wiped her tears. However, James wasn't finished, "Even if I don't get my eyes back, I'm actually grateful for many things. I'm grateful that I can hear. I'm grateful that I'm alive. I'm grateful I have friends and loved ones, and… I'm grateful to have you as my best friend."
"R-really?" Cara shuttered.
"I truly mean it.", James replied, "You're amazing. You can prove to everyone that you're Cara."
This made Cara's slight frown turn into a gentle smile, "Thank you, James. I'm glad you're my friend too. You helped me find my confidence and made me brave. In fact, tomorrow, I'll pull on a brave act and get through the day."
James smiled, "That's the spirit, but remember, if you feel scared or upset, it's okay to feel that way as long as you talk to someone."
Cara couldn't help but cry as she hugged James' cheek again, "Thank you, James."
"No, thank you, Cara.", James corrected her as he felt grateful to have friends like her.
With that, the two embraced each other as James began to tear up. They allow their emotions to flow as the two best friends comfort one another. Once James and Cara started to feel better, they both smiled at each other as they began to chat about their day. Cara was grateful to have James as her best friend. She knew that James was right. She will forever be James' friend, "Thank you, James for being my friend."
