Warnings at bottom of chapter. This one gets a bit dark.


Chapter Nine:

Little Lamb


It was like a butterfly.

Little flaps of wings. Flying without care. Whisps and sweetness.

Johanna barely felt it. Yet the movement was there. Her baby moved. She set her hand on her stomach, eager to feel it again. But the butterfly seemed to have flown away. Leaving behind a disappointed Johanna.

But that was her baby. Her real, alive baby. Johanna's heart spilled, gusting with admiration for the little thing. It hasn't experienced life or a feeling, yet it had made a movement. Letting itself be known to her.

She stood in the center of Mrs. Lovett's shop for what must have been minutes. It was mere milliseconds to her where the earth turned around and spun the other way. Nothing seemed real. No pain. Not distress. It was all love.

Then Mrs. Lovett shoved two plates into Johanna's hands, ordering for her to "keep it moving".

Anthony met her outside the shop again. She grabbed his hand and moved it to her stomach. He looked at Johanna with frantic eyes.

"What happened? Are you all right? Are they alright?" he asked.

"Everythings all right, Anthony." Johanna kissed his cheek. "I felt the baby move today."

"Really?" He broke into a smile. "Can I feel?"

"I think so." She adjusted his hold. They waited until Johanna slapped at his hand. "Do you feel that?"

"Feel what?"

They waited. The fluttering hastened. Johanna stuck out her bottom lip. He had given no indication he felt what she had. Anthony looked back up at her.

"You didn't feel that?" Johanna asked.

Anthony shook his head. "I'm afraid not."

"That's strange. I can."

"Likely because you're carrying it." Anthony snickered and kissed her nose. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

Johanna prided herself on how easily she said it. The first time she told Anthony she loved him, she stammered and broke their eye contact. She was afraid to tell him she loved him the second time. But now, it was getting simpler. She didn't stumble over her words for once.

"Anthony."

The voice was harsh and low. Anthony twisted around, shielding Johanna from Mr. Todd. She griped his shoulder and took his hand. She prayed neither man would do something senseless.

"You can come in if you'd like," Mr. Todd said, with a small smile, "Mrs. Lovett asked me to find Johanna for her."

Johanna doubted that. She was prone to hide away for brief periods of time during the workday. She eyed Anthony, who nodded back at her.

"Thank you for the offer, sir," Anthony replied. He neared the door.

Johanna squeezed his hand before he stepped inside. "Don't let him take you to the barbershop."

Throughout the day, Johanna glanced over her shoulder at Anthony more than she should. She barely held a conversation with a customer. It was impossible through the anxiety she was facing when she thought his table was empty. It never was. Anthony was always there to smile or wave at her. She waved back, putting on a masked smile for him. Mr. Todd didn't near Anthony, but he kept a careful watch on them.

"Did he talk to you at all?" Johanna asked, as she helped Anthony with his coat. She already knew the answer from monitoring him, but she'd figured it would be good to ask, too.

"Not once," Anthony replied, "All he did was watch me. He made sure I wasn't doing anything."

She shook her head. "What do you think he's planning?"

"Johanna, I-" Anthony put his hand on her arm, "-I don't think he's planning anything. It doesn't seem right to me, either. I shouldn't be saying something like that, but something tells me."

"Anthony, you've known him longer than I have." Johanna clasped his coat, glancing over her shoulder again. "He must have a plan."

Anthony looked past her, taking her wrists. "He told me a story once," he said, slowly, "About a barber and his wife. I'm almost certain now that the barber was himself." He ran his finger over her knuckles. "Perhaps, he wants to be someone else again. Or someone better."

"Then why hasn't he before? I can't believe that."

He paused. "I'm not sure, either. I'll be back tomorrow as soon as the shop opens. Tell me if anything happens. I gave you my current address."

She nodded. After exchanging a kiss, Anthony left. Johanna watched as he crossed the street and went into the night.

Johanna helped Mrs. Lovett and Toby close up. Once she went back into her parlor, Johanna ducked into the storage room. She found Lucy Barker's diary. With another look over her shoulder, she ran to the room. She tucked it between the bed and the wall. She backed away slowly, as if her jarring movements would make it fall. Johanna changed into her nightclothes. She tucked herself into bed, tossing a hand over the side of the bed where she could feel the leather spiral.

Well, Johanna wasn't tired at all. She wouldn't fall asleep while reading. There would be time to hide it again. She reached for the book.

"Wake up, Johanna."

Bright red flooded her vision as Johanna flickered her eyelids open. She reached out, feeling her sore muscles loosen. It was morning outside the window. The dreadful city was waking up again. Johanna adjusted the quilt and heard a thump.

The diary fell to the floor.

Johanna didn't realize until Mr. Todd did. Like a vulture pursuing its prey, he swooped down and grabbed it before she could. Her stomach dropped. He opened Lucy Barker's diary.

Mr. Todd flipped through a few pages. Recognition flowed through his expressions. And he smiled. Johanna didn't know he could lift the corners of his lips like that. But he smiled. And he was almost human.

There were still quite a few entries left when he slammed the cover shut. Mr. Todd held the diary up.

"Where'd you find this?" he inquired.

"In the storage. It was hidden. It was rude of me to flip through it, but I figured since she's dead, it wouldn't hurt anyone."

At dead, Mr. Todd grimaced.

"Who told you that?"

Johanna pulled away from him. "Turpin, sir. He said that my mother took poison after they sent my father to prison." She cocked her head. "That's true, isn't it?"

Mr. Todd clenched his jaw. "She took poison."

"Which killed her. Right?"

His knuckles flashed white as his grip on the diary hardened. Johanan tilted herself, just so she was almost forward. Mr. Todd glanced at the cover again. Something filled him at the look and he muttered something to himself. Death. Revenge. Complete. Johanna stated.

"Tell me about her," she said, almost whispering, "Please."

"She had yellow hair and she loved doves. He sucked in a breath. "Her maiden name was Abberley."

Johanna caught her "What?" before it could escape her lips. Her heart thrust forward at the recent information. She glanced at the diary again. With Lucy Barker's thoughts and impressions. Johanna hadn't known her mother shared the same hair color as herself. She looked back at Mr. Todd.

"If this baby is a girl, I want to name her Lucy."

Mr. Todd looked up. "What?"

"I've always liked the name." Hesitation blocked courage, yet her words quickened. "It's a name that comes from a pick I liked as a child. Missus Lucy Apmster, it was called. So I'd like to name her Lucy. If her is a her."

He said nothing.

Anthony, however, nearly clapped when Johanna gave the suggestion. He gripped her upper arms in his excitement. She melted into the touch and smiled at him.

"Lucy," Anthony tested the name on his tongue. "Lucy Hope. Lucy."

"Lucy Hope."

They were almost a normal couple for once. Sitting at a pie shop, enjoying the afternoon together. They could be a painting or two characters mentioned in passing in a novel.

But Toby tugged on Johanna's arm and said,

"Mum needs you in the bakehouse, Jo."

Johanna bit her lip, suppressing the desire to snap at Toby and order him to go away. Mrs. Lovett could wait.

Instead, sent Anthony an apologetic smile and left with Toby.

"I'm not allowed to go in there," Toby told her on the way. He titled his hat like a little gentleman. "So this is where I leave ya."

"Thank you, Mr. Ragg, for escorting me." Johanna bobbed her head.

Toby laughed.

Nellie could hear them outside the door. Two children pretending to be adults. Thank goodness for Johanna, she wouldn't have to pretend anymore.

She entered the bakehouse with the flip of her yellow hair. Mrs. Barker's hair. Johanan's eyes danced as she looked at Nellie. Innocence. Innocence and child-like wonder never did her mother any good. How could it help Johanna?

"You asked for me, Mrs. Lovett?" Johanna smoothed her dress down. Trailing a hand over the protective bump which held her baby. She was hesitant. Perhaps recalling Nellie's chastening about entering the bakehouse.

"Yes, come here, lamb."

Johanna's skin was white as wool. And the hair she combed through was twice as soft. She walked a little like a lamb, Nellie observed. Wobbling a bit. Still adjusting to the fat she'd gained. Nellie watched her trot over. She smiled. Sweet and innocent as a lamb. A surge of red flowed throughout Nellie.

"I think it's time, dearie, you learned how to pies with me," Nellie said, "After all, my knees aren't what they used ta' be and you seem to have the right hands for it."

"All right," Johanna agreed, nodding, "Can you teach me how?"

It was almost like Johanna already knew.

"Let me give you a tour."

Nellie placed both hands on both of Johanna's exposed shoulders. Her flesh was soft. Young. Not a bruise or a freckle, nor a wrinkle. It was perfect. Opposite to Nellie's own aged skin.

"This is the oven," Nellie said and she kept her fingers crossed Johanna wouldn't notice the bloodstains on the ground. "I don't let Toby here 'cause of this."

"Like any good mother would." Johanna gave a light chuckle. Her hands went to her stomach again.

Nellie's knees weakened.

No. There was no time for any weakness of the sort. This would be done quick and easy, without hesitation. She could manage that. That was how Nellie always managed things.

"Let's take a good look inside, shall we?"

She opened the oven door. Johanna flinched, but became entranced by the fire. The bright flames clouded her vision. They were warm and a comfort. Johanna was hypnotized. Giving Nellie the chance to swiftly move behind Johanna. She placed her hands on the young girl's shoulders again. All it would take was one good shove. All her problems would be done. Nellie prepared herself for the screams.

And she couldn't.

The fire was there. Nellie was perfectly positioned. She could get rid of this girl now. This young girl who reminded Nellie so much of Mrs. Barker. Who reminded Mr. T too much of Mrs. Barker. What's dead is dead. And the memories associated with it should die as well. Hatred flared up inside her. It was time.

Yet Nellie couldn't.

Johanna perked and her eyes widened. Her hand rested on her belly. On her baby. Her rosebud lips turned up into a smile.

"I felt the baby move."

No. Nellie couldn't.

Johanna was innocent. As much as Nellie wanted her to be the guilty, she wasn't. All those nights of reasoning with herself were a waste. There was life inside Johanna. Life neither Nellie nor Mr. Todd possessed anymore. Getting rid of Johanna wouldn't solve anything. And Mr. Todd would hate her more than he already did if Nellie hurt a hair on his daughter.

Nellie forced a smile. "Congratulations, love."

Johanna shifted herself away from the fire. She brushed imaginary ashes from her unwrinkled skirt and smiled at Nellie.

"What's next, Mrs. Lovett?"

Nellie paused. She studied the girl again, only for a moment. She tapped her chin, pretending to be in consideration. "Now that I'm thinking 'bout it, I think you shouldn't be in 'ere while you have that baby in you. It can't be safe."

Safe for Johanna, so Nellie wouldn't be tempted again.

"You're probably right, Mrs. Lovett." Johanna laughed. "I better see what Toby's up to."

"You know Toby."

Nellie watched her run off with a sigh. She shut the oven door.


Warnings: Attempted murder, mentions of death, mentions of suicide