Warnings at the bottom of the chapter. This one gets a bit dark.


Chapter Twelve:

My Turtledove, My Dear


Johanna could feel time go by, yet she still wasn't asleep. There were multiple nights like this recently. Where she couldn't sleep until sunrise and just a few hours later, Mrs. Lovett needed. It looked like this night was going to be the same. She cupped her stomach with a hand as she sat herself up.

There was a gentle thud. Unlike the fluttering she felt from her baby before.

A kick.

A breath hitched in her throat. Johanna felt it again. Another kick. Like a light flickering.

That was her baby.

Johanna could help a surge of pride as she looked down. This was real. Wasn't it? She looked around. She wanted to share this moment with someone. She needed someone to confirm it wasn't in her head. Johanna could go downstairs. But no. Her eyelids were heavy. Everything was heavy. She laid her head down, leaving her hand on her belly.

Anthony was finally going to feel the baby.

The moment Johanna spotted him at a table, she ran to him, having to slow as dizziness seeped in. She balanced her belly on the table and grabbed his hand, placing it on top.

"They kicked," Johanan said, beaming.

"What?" He looked down. "When?"

"Last night."

Anthony leaned his head against her stomach. Johanna gripped his fingers. They remained in complete silence as they waited.

There was a quiver.

Johanna opened her mouth to scream or shout or sequel. Nothing escaped her. She couldn't make out a word. Not even a sound. Anthony waited. His eyes slowly traveled to meet hers. She nodded.

"I've known this was happening for a while," Johanna said, "But it feels really real now."

"It does."

There was a pause as Johanna's mind raced. There was so much left to be done. The baby needed a place to sleep. There was the old cradle, but it would need to be fixed up. Or maybe it didn't work at all. They needed nightgowns and diapers and bottles and clothes and blankets. Not to mention caps and soap and pram. Some of those things Johanna could make, as other mothers did. But she recalled the hard pattern again. No, she couldn't. What were they going to do then? Anthony was avoiding taking too many jobs so he could stay close. Johanna was grateful for the opportunity to see him almost every day. But they needed the money. Which meant longer expeditions. She would be lonely. The money was more important than missing him.

"Darling, what's wrong?" Anthony took her hand.

"There's so much to figure out," Johanna whispered, sliding into the chair, "We can't get away anymore, Anthony. I'm stuck. We're stuck. I can't travel in this condition or with a newborn."

"Johanna, I made a promise. I promise I would get you away. I'm not breaking that promise. Ever. They'll be a chance and we'll-"

"I want to stay."

The words leave her too fast. Anthony looked hurt as he leaned back.

"What?"

"I think I want to stay," Johanna repeated, "I don't know why, but I feel like I need to be here. Mr. Todd is my father. I feel obliged to stay."

He said nothing, but his lips parted.

"Anthony, I want to go with you. I just think it's best if I stay here. Once the baby is old enough, we'll purchase that cottage in France."

Anthony looked away before he gave a stark nod. She was taken aback. Ever since she met Anthony, he was agreeable. It was in his nature. He understood her. Johanna reached for his hand, but he jerked up from the table and threw on his coat. He glanced around the room, at the chatter, then back at her.

"I've been called out again," he said, "I'll be back in a few weeks."

"Anthony!"

Johanna sprung up and followed him to the door. She reached out to block it, but Anthony was faster. She stepped a foot out. The last time she left the shop was when he took her to Turpin's manor. It felt wrong to go further. Especially without Anthony.

"When were you going to tell me?" she called out from the doorway.

He looked back, still walking. But stopped. Anthony's chest deflated.

"Later."

She watched him go.


Johanna hummed as she placed a pie in front of a customer. There was nothing to hum about. It was another dreary day and she was exhausted. Yet, she found herself able to hum. Although her song was twisting into a darker tune as rain trickled down the windows.

"Who are you?"

Johanna turned around. "Excuse me, sir?"

The man gulped down the last of his ale. He looked over at her. She noticed his gaze fell on her breasts. Paling, she crossed her arms over her chest, wincing at the light soreness from the action. One of the more embarrassing symptoms that required a new corset.

"Who are you? I never saw you before."

"I'm . . ."

Mr. Todd's daughter. Anthony Hope's wife. Mother of a poor child. Judge Turpin's ward. Mrs. Lovett's help. Lucy Barker's daughter. Johanna Barker Hope.

Many things, but Johanna couldn't say any of them.

"Just some help around the shop, sir."

The man narrowed his eyes.

"Why?"

His tone matched one of a detective speaking to the suspect of a crime. There was no reason for him to be so accusing. Johanna was minding her own business. No, she was serving him. Helping him. Her lower lip quivered. The man noticed. Johanna bit down. Hard.

"Well, why not?"

The man rose from his seat, holding one hand behind his back. Johanna stared back at him. She could hold her ground. She would hold her ground. He stepped dangerously towards her until Johanna bumped into the wall. She moved to the side but was blocked by the man's arm. His other hand pressed against the same wall, holding a knife, trapping her. Johanna ducked under him. He pounded his arm into her chest, bending her over.

The man grabbed her arm, jarring her upward. He looked over his shoulder. Johanna pushed against his hand. He swung her around to cover her mouth with his hand.

Her eyes darted around the shop. It spun around her.

Where was Mrs. Lovett? Shouldn't she be in the shop?

"Act normal," the man hissed into her ear.

Something cold pressed on her skin. The knife.

He removed his hand. Her throat was too tight to scream. The man led her towards the door. Johanna focused on the door as her surroundings circled her like a merry-go-round.

"Get off her."

Mr. Todd's voice never frightened her so much.

His was the sound of death as one bounded off a cliff. Rocks tearing into a person. A knife twisting and hissing. Johanna was frozen.

The man didn't move, having not heard Mr. Todd. How? How did he not terrify the man? Johanna looked at Mr. Todd. He glared at her captor as he tugged her towards the door. Mr. Todd grabbed her arm, pulling her away from him. The man came to his senses and growled at Mr. Todd. Johanna nearly fell back, a chair only broke her fall. She gripped onto the table. The knife dropped to the ground.

Mr. Todd grabbed the man from behind. He faced Mr. Todd, snarling like a dog.

"What was that for?" The man sounded insulted, as if he hadn't been the one attacking Johanna.

Mr. Todd swung his arm up and hit the man.

A few customers gasped. The man - red-faced and rubbing at his jaw - plunged towards Mr. Todd, knocking him to the ground.

Johanna watched the brawl with a dry throat and blood pounding in her ears. She tried to stand with wobbly knees just to fall back onto the chair. Her hands flew to her stomach. She rubbed her hands over the area, trying to soothe the baby.

People scurried out of the way. Some customers dashed out the door. Toby wandered from outside to see what the commotion was. He watched the fight with an open mouth. Mrs. Lovett pushed the bakehouse door open. She blinked, allowing herself to take the scene in.

The man pushed Mr. Todd to the ground; he was quick to get back on his feet.

"What's all this about?" Mrs. Lovett exclaimed.

Neither man answered. Mrs. Lovett looked to Johanna.

Most customers had left. Some left money on their tables. Others waited outside.

Mr. Todd wiggled his arm free and unshelved a razor from his belt. He held the weapon to the man's throat. The man looked up at him with wide eyes. Mr. Todd would pierce his throat and blood would drip down. Onto the floor, making a puddle.

Blood. Imagining the blood made Johanna sick. She made him promise. All that time ago. But she made him promise.

"No!" Johanna scrambled to her feet. "Don't!"

Mr. Todd hadn't heard her. His razor neared the man's neck. But Mr. Todd sensed her coming and turned his head. He relaxed slightly. Mr. Todd paused.

Please don't.

With a sinister smile, Mr. Todd listed the man off the table by the collar. He threatened the razor at him.

"Consider that a warning," Mr. Todd said.

He marched the man to the door. He pushed him out. Mr. Todd watched with his head pointing down and eyes glaring upward as the man brushed himself off. The man looked back at the shop. He scowled before walking away.

The air was awkward, but the customers returned because of Mrs. Lovett's assurances. ("Sorry about that, loves. Won't happen again. The best way to chase away that unpleasantness is with a warm pie. What da' ya say?). A few persons glanced at Johanna, pretending they weren't staring when she looked back at them.

Mr. Todd turned to Johanna. He gripped her upper arm and examined her. He tilted her chin to check for bruises. Johanna looked away. Nothing was focused. She could feel Mr. Todd's hand. His hold on her was tight, yet it didn't feel real. None of this felt real.

"What did he do to you?"

Reminded me of Turpin.

Johanna opened her mouth. Her muscles tensed.

"I-I don't know-know."

He grabbed at her.

Was that real?

He tried to take her away.

Right?

"He did . . . he did some things."

"What things?"

"Well . . . He . . ."

Johanna leaned against the counter. She lost control of her limbs. She blinked and her vision was fuzzy, like it was before she fainted. Was she about the faint? No, no. Not here. Not now. Johanna didn't even understand what was happening. Let her gain back control.

She was shaking.

"Johanna, love."

Johanna blinked. Twice. Mr. Todd's image was blurry, but she could see him through the fog. She reached out.

Upstairs. She needed to get upstairs. It was safe up there. The room wouldn't shake up there.

Johanna didn't understand how she managed it. But somehow, she made it to the room. It didn't get better. She could hardly feel the sheets around her. Everything was too tight. Slight pains ran through her. She pulled herself onto the bed.

Mrs. Lovett needed her in the shop. That was her job. Help Mrs. Lovett in the shop. Johanna rose from the bed, standing for a few moments before sitting once again. It would be all right if she took a break. Just a short one. Then the day would go on the same. Johanna didn't anyone to treat her any differently. She was fine. Something happened earlier, but she was fine. Johanna would prove it to the world and Mr. Todd.

She couldn't face him now. With heat dripping through her veins and her face flushing. Johanna was mortified. He was in bad spirits already after fighting that man. After Johanna stopped him before he could kill the man.

Her hands ran over herself. She clasped them on her stomach. Did he hurt the baby? Could he? Johanna just felt the baby moving. Not now. Not now, please.

Stop worrying, Johanna, she told herself.

She would be fine. Just give her a few moments and she would go back downstairs.


Warning: Attempted kidnapping, self-hatred, a character threatens another character with a knife