Chapter Eighteen:

Like Her


They were friends once, Nellie and Lucy. They were schoolgirls together. Their families came from a similar social group (with the Abberleys being slightly above Nellie's family).

Well, the ends of the names sounded alike. Why shouldn't they be friends, then?

They were friends. Inseparable. Lucy had a few other friends from other family friends. While Nellie had Lucy and Lucy only. She was lonely at times. She envied Lucy's family's social nature. She used to beg her mother to make more friends, so she wouldn't have to rely just on Lucy. Nellie needed other friends. She couldn't let Lucy know she was completely reliant on her for company (although Lucy never seemed to mind).

"There's no time for that sorta thing, Eleanor," her mother would say, drying her hands on her apron, "Never will be if you keep avoiding your chores."

"If I do my chores-"

"Still got no time."

Nellie watched Lucy grow up. She was prettier than she was. Always was but she didn't mention it. Lucy's body developed nicer than hers. Her face glowed with youth and light chuckles. Always happy. Lucy could have any man she wanted. Yet, she waited to marry. With foolish dreams of true love's kiss and fairytale endings.

However, Nellie was getting worried. Twenty-three and without a husband. Her parents wanted her out of the house and Nellie wanted out of the house more than they did for her. She met Albert at the market. They got on well enough. He proposed. She accepted.

The wedding was nothing special. Nothing plain, but not elegant like the ones the nobility put on. Elegance was impractical. Nellie asked Lucy to be a bridesmaid; she threw her arms around Nellie and accepted. Nellie couldn't escape the embrace fast enough. Lucy helped her get ready. Lucy snuck a few flowers into her hair and painted the faintest amount of rogue on her cheeks. Nellie was not pretty. But she almost was that day.

"Oh, Nellie!" Lucy gasped, as if she was seeing her for the first time, "You look absolutely beautiful. Just like a bride."

Nellie swallowed back the urge to roll her eyes and say something along the lines of, "Glad you think I look like a bride, 'cause I am one."

The ceremony was quick. More like a formal handshake than anything. There was a quick kiss, giving Nellie an insight of what was to come later that night. Her predictions proved to be correct. Albert wanted it to be finished as soon as it started. Nellie could agree.

She didn't see much of Lucy after her wedding. Not until they started renting out the room above the pie shop.

Albert was fond of her baking. Especially her meat pies. Why not open a shop? They had space above the shop and Albert quickly found a renter. A barber, new to London, opened his shop right above there. And his name was Benjamin Barker.

Chocolate brown eyes and pie-crust pale features. His smile made her skip a little. His charm defeated all princes.

Nellie was in love with him. She was sure of it. Her heart never fluttered when Albert looked at her. Her insides didn't melt with a single smile. She never felt the urge to kiss her husband's lips. But Benjamin Barker's lips were different. He was different.

She wished she'd waited to marry.

Mr. Barker whistled as he worked. His heart was full of song.

He'd met a girl. Mr. Barker told her that and only that, making Nellie's heart twist with jealousy. She'd always known his tune was not meant for her. Yet it made her heart hurt when he sang, knowing it was dedicated to whoever this girl was.

It was after they got engaged Mr. Barker took her home.

"Nellie?"

Nellie knew that voice. She turned around. There was her friend. Her playmate. Her competition.

Her jealousy.

"Nellie! How lovely it is to see you again. It's been years," Lucy said, embracing her friend. Nellie pushed her off. All but stung for a moment, she continued. "I should've known it was you when Benjamin spoke of a Mrs. Lovett. I was there at your wedding, after all, I know Mr. Lovett's surname."

Benjamin had spoken of her.

Lucy went on. Telling Nellie all the secrets little girls shared with each other. But they were not little girls anymore. Lucy wasn't even the adolescent Nellie was jealous of because of her appealing figure. Nellie had nothing and Lucy had everything. She was everything.

"You two know each other?" Mr. Barker asked when he came through the door.

Lucy propped her hand up on his chest. "Nellie and I grew up together, darling."

Darling.

Days later, Lucy strolled into the shop. Holding her reticule proudly in front of her. She joined Nellie at the counter. Nellie scowled. Lucy grabbed her hand. She shoved it away. Lucy set her reticule down next to her. She noticed Nellie looking at it.

"Benjamin gave it to me," Lucy said, beaming, "I think it's the most beautiful thing in the world."

Nellie ignored that. She plopped a pile of dough in front of her and began to knead.

"Why're you here?" she said with a cold tone.

Lucy jolted back, but straightened herself. She removed her gloves (likely given to her by Benjamin too) and placed them in her lap.

"I wanted to ask you a question-"

"On with it then."

There was nothing more annoying than someone saying they had a question and then not answering it. Nellie flipped the dough onto its back.

"Well . . ." Lucy began again. "Nellie, you're my oldest friend. I want you to be the maid of honor at my wedding. If you would like to be. I understand you're busy and have other responsibilities, but if you can, I'd like you to be my maid of honor."

Maid of honor. That was even more than Nellie made Lucy at her wedding. She looked up from the pile of dough. She couldn't deny her this. Lucy was still her oldest friend. The polite thing was to accept. And Nellie wanted to.

Her gaze traveled down to Lucy's hands. Now fiddling with the ring on her finger. Benjamin's ring. His promise. His love. His everything.

Lucy was sitting next to Benjamin's gift. Asking Nellie to be the maid of honor at Benjamin's wedding.

She huffed.

"No." She paused, feeling above satisfaction. "I will not. I never wanted to be a part of your silly wedding in the first place. I never even wanted to be a part of your life."

The words were cruel, yet she felt powerful. With a slight smirk, Nellie watched Lucy's expression go from frozen to sad to hurt. She slipped the gloves (Benjamin's gloves) onto her shaking fingertips and grabbed her purse.

"Oh. I'm very sorry you feel that way, Mrs. Lovett." Lucy swallowed. "I'll make an effort to remove myself from your life as much as possible. I don't want you to feel burdened by our relationship."

With a noticeable sob, she closed the door behind her.

After that Nellie was simply, "Mrs. Lovett". Lucy was "Mrs. Barker."

They attended the wedding. Her and Albert.

Lucy didn't wear any rogue on her cheeks. Her complexion was already rosy and bright. Why would she wear any powder to hide that? She beamed as she approached Mr. Barker down the asile. If he smiled any bigger he would hurt himself. They exchanged the rings. Said their vows.

And they kissed.

Nellie had to look away.

They left before they cut the cake. Albert was upset, but Nellie dragged him away. He only came for the dessert. But that was when they would make their rounds to all the guests. Mrs. Barker wouldn't want them there.

Mr. Barker promised his wife a house in the country. Somewhere safe and secure for a small family. For now, they would make do with their rented space above the shop.

Nellie avoided Mrs. Barker as much as she could.

The news of her pregnancy sent a knife through her. Johanna was born. Johanna turned a year old. They were happy. Nellie almost believed it was all an act. How could two married people be so jovial? Yet they were. It wasn't a game of pretend.

Mr. Barker was taken away. Lucy poisoned herself.

This was God's punishment for breaking her friendship off with Lucy. It had to be. Who else would know how much it was hurt her to see Johanna in Lucy's place. Happily married and happily pregnant. The burning jealousy from those days still seeped through her blood, it seemed.

Mr. Todd stood guard near her door. Nellie found him there, as always. He averted his gaze. Nellie didn't need his body language to remind her he didn't want to see her. But she wanted to see him. It was night and there was no Johanna present.

"Why don't you tell her, love?" Nellie asked in a whisper, "Why don't you just tell her what's become of her mother?"

"No!" Mr. Todd's neck snapped up towards her. Nellie suppressed a small smile. A small victory. At least he looked at her.

"Well, why not?"

He sighed. "I just got her back. Telling her would send her away. Johanna would try to find . . . I can't and you know it."

Nellie neared him, pushing away the urge to wrap her arms around his frame and nuzzle his neck.

"If I had a secret like that, I'd tell Toby."

"Toby's different." Mr. Todd nestled a hand on the door. "He wouldn't leave you. Even if he found out, he'd stay."

Toby would do more than that, she knew. He would take that secret to the grave. She knew Toby.

"It doesn't matter, Mr. T-"

Mr. Todd flipped around. "Yes. It does." He descended upon her, like a wolf in the night. "He isn't even your biological child. He's just someone's else's kid you found off the streets."

"That doesn't matter! I love him the way I'd love my own son."

Before Mr. Todd said anything further, Nellie turned around. She hesitated. It might be good if she said something right about now. But she couldn't think of a word to say. A word wouldn't be enough, anyway.

Toby was sitting on a stool with his cheek pressed into the countertop. A bottle of ale sat near his fingertips. This again. Nellie tapped his cheeks lightly, enough to wake him up. His eyelids fluttered open and she smiled.

"Mornin'?" Toby slurred.

"Not yet, duck." Nellie tossed one of his arms over her shoulders. "Come on. Let's get you settled."

She helped him onto the sofa, propping a pillow up just the way he liked it. Toby nestled into the makeshift bed and closed his eyes. Within moments, Nellie could make out little snores. She adjusted the blanket over his shoulders and kissed his forehead. Let him rest, now.

Nellie stretched out. She was getting old. Her muscles cramped more than they used to. She arched her back, flinging her head up at the ceiling. Where Johanna was slumbering sweetly above.

On her way to bed, she mumbled little nothings. About Johanna and about Lucy. Even some about Mr. Todd.

Once a perfect family. Now, at least part of the family had been reunited. At least, they had family.

Nellie was too old. Toby was enough for her. The customers that walked in were enough for her. Even if they ate her pies and left - some without paying her in full.

There was the once upon a time when Nellie wanted to play mother to Johanna. Wanted to replace Lucy in every way, she supposed. Well, it was never enough for Mr. Todd. If it weren't for Johanna looking so much like her mother, perhaps they could have gotten along. If Johanna's features copied Mr. Todd's, yes. Replacing her yellow curls with stark black locks. Or if she had Mr. Todd's eyes. Instead of Lucy's that stared back with too many memories.

They might be a family then. Not a typical one. But a family, nonetheless.


A bit of a different chapter this time, but I wanted to get into Mrs. Lovett's head. This was originally an idea for a one shot, but I mentioned a few of the events that was going to happen in that one shot in this chapter and I couldn't stop. Please excuse any typos. I'm currently writing this with my allergies flaring up so I'm not exactly in the right mind currently.

Again, thank you so much for all of the support!