Almost forgot to upload this! Happy Birthday to me! Once again, I decided to give my 'hobbity gift' in the form of a fic. This was an idea I had after seeing a writing prompt that was 'your character only have thirty minutes to change the other's mind'. Despite the disclaimer, I swear this is a super cute and upbeat story!


When Dwalin had the bright idea to open up a throwing axe bar right out of university, Thorin thought he was crazy. Never mind the level of lawsuits and liabilities he was opening himself up to by mixing axes and alcohol, but he wanted to put it at the base of the mountains to get cross traffic from Ered Luin and Hobbiton. Both were small towns with an equal amount of tourist traps. Hobbiton with their gardens and food-related festivals; Ered Luin, high enough for skiing and snowboarding.

That had been well over eighteen years ago, and Thorin's friend delighted in pointing out his success every chance he could. True, every once in a while, accidents happened, but not as many as Thorin would have thought. Therefore, every Thursday night, Thorin would drive down to Dwalin's bar to buy the owner a drink after losing their little wager over it.

"There he is!" Dwalin announced loudly, causing everyone in the bar to look at Thorin in confusion. "The idiot who will be buying ale from me for life!"

Thorin smirked as he gave a playful wave to the patrons. "Give me one of your axes. I want to practice on your head."

Dwalin laughed warmly as they clasped hands and he slapped Thorin's shoulder.

"After what nearly happened last time, I wouldn't even trust you with a butter knife."

"Hey! It's not my fault your piece of shit corkboard sent it back at my head."

"Alright, alright. What are you drinking?"

"I'll have whatever the bartender is having. Apparently, I'm buying." Thorin answered dryly.

Dwalin chuckled and nodded. "Alright, let me clear out a couple of tabs here, and I'll be right with you."

Thorin leaned against the bar top to where he could watch the axe stations as he waited. Dwalin was relatively busy for a weeknight, but Thorin could afford to stay out late. Dis was taking the boys skiing this weekend, and he did not have to go into the office the next day.

As he was absently sweeping the room with his gaze, he caught the eyes of a little button-nosed blonde sitting with another man at a table next to the bar. A "hobbit" from the look of him which was a slang term those in Ered Luin made for the people living in Hobbiton. He was pretty though, and most likely younger as gray hadn't quite taken to him like it had Thorin. Still, it had been longer than he would have liked since he had last dated, and she had been a bore. He shot the hobbit a smile that had the other man ducking his head in embarrassment. Thorin mentally shrugged. Oh well, they were probably on a date anyways, and Thorin had just made an ass of himself.

"Oh, is that so COUSIN BILBO!"

Thorin perked up and looked over to see his hobbit desperately shushing the other one even as he met Thorin's eyes. Thorin was smart enough to take that for what it was. An advertisement that they weren't together, and Thorin was welcome to make a move. Okay, Thorin wasn't that out of practice. He could totally do this. Just as he was about to take a step in their direction though, Dwalin returned slamming a glass down in front of him.

"So how are the squirts?"

Thorin fought back a sigh as he looked over at the slightly disappointed man and gave him a quick wink before turning to face his friend. Dwalin gave him a weird look before looking behind him and smirking.

"Is he still looking?" Thorin asked.

"Yep."

"Does he seem interested?"

"Yep."

"So should I go over there?"

"Mahal above! Yes!"

Thorin chuckled and took a drink of his beer for courage. He's learned that asking people out at bars takes a bit of strategy. Going for the nonchalant play, he decided to walk by their table until he found a point in their conversation where he could jump in. It works well for him most of the time. Only this time, he heard something that nearly had him stop cold.

"You say this every year! You're not going to jump, Bilbo." The cousin groaned.

"Nope. You won't change my mind this time, Siggy. I've got nothing to lose. I'm doing it this time."

They wouldn't be...there's no way they would be talking about that so casually in a bar. Suddenly, all thoughts of hitting on the man went out the window as Thorin was riveted listening to more and making sure he wasn't hearing what he thought he was hearing.

"Bilbo, I love you, but you're not going to do it." The cousin scoffed.

"Do you know I've promised myself every year since Mom died that this year will be different? I can't keep living like this, Sig! I've just...I need to do this."

"NO!" Thorin roared, spinning around.

Both men jumped in their seats staring at Thorin warily. Smooth, that was real smooth.

"What I mean to say is I couldn't help overhearing and just...give me thirty minutes. Thirty minutes to change your life."

A slow smirk crept over the cousin's face as he stared at the other hobbit.

"Well, cousin?"

Bilbo gave Thorin a shy smile.

"Alright, you're on the clock."

Thorin offered his arm as he led him to a table on the other side of the bar that was a little more private. The whole time Thorin was grappling with nerves. He's never been in a situation like this before. What if he said the wrong thing? And the nerve of his so-called cousin! How could he not take such a confession seriously?

They sat down in stilted silence as Thorin fought for something to say. He was out of his depth now as any lines he had prepared would just be insensitive.

"Well, you are off to a marvelous start." The hobbit lamented.

Thorin chuckled. "Give me a break. This isn't exactly a conversation I expected to have when I woke up this morning."

Thorin got a head tilt and an indulgent smile in response. Thorin got the feeling he was being judged rather rigorously in that moment.

"How about we start simple then? I'm Bilbo. Bilbo Baggins." He introduced holding his hand out to shake.

"Thorin Durin."

"So, I've been dying to ask...what's the deal with you and the bartender?"

"Ah." Thorin chuckled gratefully for the easy way Bilbo slid them into conversation. "Dwalin is a childhood friend, and when he told me he was going to open a bar, I bet him he wouldn't last a year."

"Then I can clearly see you are the optimist of your friends."

"Would it shock you if I said yes?"

They both laughed at this which helped settle Thorin a little more. Still, he had to wipe his sweating palms on his legs knowing what he wanted to ask next.

"So, you're going to...I mean, you have thoughts about...jumping?" He pried carefully.

Bilbo released a deep sigh as he stared down at the table contemplatively. "Well, yes...and no. I don't know. I always sound so confident when I'm with Siggy, but...it's a little daunting."

Thorin's brows pulled together as he subtly moved closer, his hand twitching as he wondered whether he shouldn't rest it on Bilbo's in support. However, the other man may not want the comfort of a perfect stranger.

"Talk to me." Thorin urged. "Maybe I can help somehow."

Bilbo blinked at him in surprise before immediately plunging into his tale.

"The first thing you need to understand is that my mother was very adventurous. Much more than most in Hobbiton, and she always promised me we would have one together. It just never happened. We went through a rough patch financially after that awful winter way back, my dad got sick, I got into the uni of my dreams, my dad died, my mom was diagnosed with cancer...I'm so sorry. This is a terribly inappropriate topic."

"No, please! I don't mind, really."

Bilbo gave him a dubious look which caused Thorin to sigh before deciding to offer a little bit about himself in return if that would ease Bilbo's suspicions.

"My little brother got leukemia back in our teens. I remember that helpless feeling well."

"Yes!" Bilbo agreed. "Helpless. That's a good word for it. I could never explain to my family why I couldn't stay in the house when she became bed-ridden. Did your brother…?"

"He's fine." Thorin assured with a smile. "Little idiot is backpacking through the Mistys right now. I told him I would pay his way, but he said 'this is a journey that must be savored and experienced naturally' and then proceeds to send me selfies from every dance club he manages to worm his way into."

Bilbo laughed again at this. Thorin was growing to like his laugh.

"That's good though. I'm glad...I'm glad he's okay now."

Thorin winced. "I didn't mean to insinuate…"

"Oh, no! Please, Thorin, no. Don't apologize for your brother not dying! I'm not in any way jealous at all. My mother...she had me later in her life, and...well that's what old people do, right?"

Bilbo reached into his pocket for a handkerchief and when he couldn't seem to find one, Thorin offered up his. He got a watery smile and nod in thanks. Thorin didn't hesitate to put his hand on Bilbo's arm this time, rubbing soothingly up and down.

"Just because it was an expected death doesn't make it hurt any less. Old or young, you are allowed your grief."

Bilbo snorted, somehow managing to laugh and cry at the same time.

"This is by far the most depressing conversation I've ever had in a bar with a stranger."

Thorin gave him a wry grin. "It has gotten a little heavy. But if it made you feel even a little better, it was worth it."

Bilbo smiled. "I suppose I do. The anniversary is tomorrow. That's why it's so close to the surface I think."

Thorin didn't say anything this time. Just watched the hobbit and continued to stroke his arm. Actually, that was the moment when both of them realized he was still doing it. Bilbo tensed slightly, and Thorin immediately pulled away.

"Ah, thank you, for this." Bilbo grunted, handing Thorin's handkerchief back over.

"Keep it." Thorin insisted. "I have more at home."

Bilbo's cheeks flared pink, but he slid the cloth into his pocket anyways. Thorin was indecisive now. He didn't know whether he should switch to something more light-hearted or push the "jumping" issue. Mahal, the anniversary of his mother's death. Thorin hoped Bilbo wasn't going to be alone tomorrow. He hoped that's why his cousin took him out drinking tonight. He was about to pursue that line of thought when a bell-tone came from Bilbo's cell phone. He pulled it out, sighing as he turned off the sound.

"And your thirty minutes are up, I'm afraid."

Thorin blinked and blinked again. "Did you...did you actually time me?"

"Of course." Bilbo sniffed. "Had to see if you were a Luiny of your word."

Thorin smirked both at the false indignation and the term he used.

"And?" Thorin drawled.

Bilbo put an assessing hand to his face as he looked Thorin up and down. The raven-haired man let him with no shame at all.

"Well, considering I let my silliness carry us away, I'm afraid you didn't get a fair chance."

Before Thorin could protest, the hobbit continued. "So, I was hoping you would consider dinner with me tomorrow night?"

"Dinner?" Thorin parroted.

Bilbo nodded, just a hint of nervousness. "Should things go well, I had planned on being in Ered Luin, and I assumed you would be there. Given that you live there. Or are from there! I certainly am not trying to make assumptions…"

Thorin cut him off with a smile. "I know just the place. Bombur's, how does six sound?"

The hobbit across from him immediately brightened. "Yes! I mean, Bombur's at six. That sounds...very good. I'll just be...Good evening."

Thorin watched him scurry back to his cousin. They had a quick conversation that had a lot of smiling on Bilbo's part, smirking on his cousin's part, and combined looks aimed at Thorin before they paid for their drinks and left. It was only then that Thorin stood and made his way back over to Dwalin.

"Tough break." Dwalin stated almost immediately.

Thorin narrowed his eyes. "We're going to dinner tomorrow night."

"Alright, Thorin! The wanking streak is finally..." Dwalin started to cheer before Thorin cut him off abruptly.

"But it's not a date."

Dwalin raised an eyebrow. "It's not?"

"No, we're going out as friends."

"Is he...straight?"

"No! Well...I don't know actually, but that's not the point. He's...I mean, I'm pretty sure he may be...suicidal." Thorin finished with a low murmur.

"Because he wants to date you?" Dwalin attempted humor.

Thorin crossed his arms and looked away from Dwalin. He really couldn't expect him to understand, but he didn't have to be an insensitive ass about it. Something must have finally clicked with the bartender because he gently set a hand on Thorin's arm with a rather apologetic look.

"I'm just trying to understand. It's noble as all get out, but you do know that you're not responsible for the lad's fate? It seems very clear that he has friends and/or family that can...see to his needs."

Thorin released a large sigh knowing his friend was right. It would make more sense to just step aside right now before becoming emotionally responsible for someone he didn't really know. However, just because he had family or friends didn't always mean he had the right support network. Thorin just thought if Bilbo knew there was someone out there, someone who didn't know the ends and outs of his situation completely, who just wanted something as simple as to see him again…

"Thanks, Dwalin, but I want to follow through. At least just one more chance."

"Alright." His friend sighed. "Just be careful is all I ask."

Thorin was most assuredly careful. He had carefully picked out his blue button-up and black slacks. He had carefully combed his hair and trimmed his beard, and more importantly he had carefully applied just the right amount of cologne. The whole time he had to remind himself that this wasn't a date. It couldn't be a date, ever. That would be the definition of 'fucked up'. So, he tried to convince himself that he was just trying to make a good impression all the while sinking deeper and deeper into the pit of self-revulsion.

He arrived at the restaurant fifteen minutes early, and being friends with the owner always earned him a table rather quickly. He left Bilbo's name with the hostess and began the longest wait of his life. At least on the date, you weren't worried about all the horrible things a no-show would imply. He went through his water rather quickly, and when the waiter inquired about a refill, he ordered a glass of wine as well. His fingers pounded a rhythm against his thigh as he stared as the time on his phone inched to five minutes past. He should have gotten Bilbo's number. Why didn't he ask for his number? Right, because this wasn't a date. Still would have been useful in this moment.

"I am so sorry I'm late!"

Thorin looked up as an out of breath Bilbo weaved through the tables to get to him.

"That went much longer than I anticipated, and by the time I was able to change and shower…"

"You're here." Thorin declared.

Bilbo couldn't even get another word in before Thorin had him wrapped up in a hug. The smaller man froze with a soft 'oh', and then ever so hesitantly returned the embrace. Thorin was almost too happy to truly dread his actions as he led Bilbo to his seat. He tried not to enjoy the bright blush painted on the other man's face too much.

"I'm glad you decided not to follow through with it." Thorin admitted after they settled back at the table.

Bilbo seemed confused before a look of understanding passed over his face.

"The jumping? No! That's where I've been. Ered Luin has the best mountains for it after all. Here, let me pull out my phone and I'll show you pictures."

Thorin honestly had no idea what emotion could be visible on his face at this point as he just stared at the man across from him as he processed through what might as well have been a foreign language to him. Bilbo jumped...but he was sitting across from him. He jumped off the Mahal-blessed mountain and had pictures of the horrific event, but there wasn't a scratch on him. He was missing something. He was missing something BIG.

Too focused on pulling up the pictures, Bilbo had yet to see the internal crisis happening before him. He smiled as he passed his phone over to Thorin who took it with numb fingers only to gasp in relief and mortification. Bungee jumping. Bilbo had been talking about bungee jumping. Heat burst to Thorin's face and he contemplated the quickest escape route.

"I've sworn for years I would do something adventurous in my mother's honor, and I finally did. And I will never do it again! Green Lady's Gardens above! It was terrifying! But I can't wait to rub it in Siggy's smug face…"

It was about this point that Bilbo seemed to realize that his audience was not reacting the way he should.

"Um, Thorin?" Bilbo questioned. "Is everything okay?"

"I thought…" He croaked. "I'm such a fucking idiot."

Bilbo's brows furrowed at Thorin's words, and it was rather unfortunate to the taller man that Bilbo was a quick study. His eyes suddenly widened.

"Jumping…" He murmured under his breath. "Did you think…?"

Thorin gave him the most pitiful look imaginable, and Bilbo couldn't take it another second longer. He laughed. He laughed long and hard while Thorin hid his face in his hands. In fact, Bilbo's was so tickled that his laugh changed from the rich and musical sound he had come to enjoy to a maniacal, wheezing bark that had most of the restaurant looking at them. Thorin had already drained his wine as he mentally calculated how many years it would take before he could show his face in Bombur's again.

"Oh, oh, Thorin." Bilbo breathed as his laughter petered out. "Oh goodness, I'm so, so sorry but…"

Cue another round of laughter. Thorin took it with as much dignity as he could muster. After all, he was the assuming ass who thought Bilbo needed to be on suicide watch.

"Oh, you dear sweet man." Bilbo finally said, wiping tears of mirth from his eyes. "That is perhaps the kindest, most ridiculous confession I've ever heard."

Kind and ridiculous. Thorin cringed to think what his siblings would do with this particular level of blackmail. If the building would just decide to cave in and crush him, Thorin would welcome the opportunity. Seeing what effect his laughter had wrought upon him, Bilbo reached across and took Thorin's hand giving it a quick kiss.

"Please, don't be too embarrassed. I can't say for certain since I'm not depressed, but the fact that you went through all this trouble for me…"

The warm smile on Bilbo's face did in fact help ease Thorin's crippling desire to spontaneously combust.

"You have a very kind heart. Honestly, if anyone should be embarrassed, it's me." Bilbo admitted looking down at the table. "I had assumed that this was well...a date."

It was at that moment, watching Bilbo's ears turn pink in his own embarrassment that Thorin realized the night was not ruined. He had been wanting it to be a date as well, but had held himself back due to the perceived inappropriateness. He heaved a sigh and shook his head slightly at how terribly everything had spiraled before he held out his hand.

"Perhaps, we can start over? I'm Thorin Durin, an idiot who listens in on parts of cute men's conversations and jumps to the worst possible conclusion."

Relief appeared in Bilbo's face as he accepted the handshake enthusiastically. "I'm Bilbo Baggins. I find overconfidence and endearing idiocy very attractive, although I would advise you to choose your words more carefully. I knew someone once who seemed to think 'jump' was an automatic cry for help."

Thorin couldn't help laughing which got Bilbo started up again as well. It took them forever to actually order any food, and yet it was the best date of Thorin's life. Looking back years later, both men agreed it was the moment they fell in love with the other although they wouldn't admit such a thing to each other or in the privacy of their own thoughts for many months after. In fact, their initial meeting was never brought up again. When asked how they met, it was simply 'in Dwalin's bar'. Thorin's own family didn't know his shame…well until the night of his and Bilbo's wedding.

"So, I said, 'what? He's straight?' And this great brooding idiot goes 'no, suicidal'."

The crowd erupted into laughter as Thorin listened to his best man's speech warring between how to dispose of Dwalin's body and resignation to the jokes he will be privy to at every holiday on both sides for the rest of his life. Bilbo, his wonderful, perceptive husband, lay his head on Thorin's shoulder with a soft chuckle.

"I know, Dearheart, but think of it this way: those thirty minutes were truly life changing. For both of us."

As Thorin turned his head to the man he wouldn't be able to live without, he caught Bilbo's lips in a quick kiss. He agreed completely and besotted. Best 'jump' he ever made.