"Mirin," Goku said, one hand over his growling stomach. "D'you think the old-timer's got any food?"
"I'm sure he does," I said, loading up our folded futons onto Kinto'un. "Man's gotta eat."
We'd made our way home after splitting from Bulma and the rest; Goku had changed out of Oolong's borrowed overalls and back into a spare gi. After double checking we had everything we needed–clothes, futons, my notes and Nyoibo–I surmised we were ready to head to Roshi's island.
"Then, let's go!" Goku said, hopping onto his magic cloud. "I'm starving!"
Given how long it'd been since he last ate, coupled with the events of the previous night, he probably wasn't exaggerating much. I settled in behind him and we took off from Mount Paozu for the sea. Having made the trip once to Roshi's home, the second flight was significantly shorter.
"Yahoo!" Goku whooped, flirting briefly with the ocean's surface as we came up on Roshi's house. He hopped off Kinto'un the second we stopped and bound over to the front door.
"Old-timer, we're here!"
"Don't just barge in–and, you're gone." I sighed, following in after him.
Roshi sat cross-legged in front of his TV in his living room, goggling at two women acting out a weekly exercise program. The woman in the foreground, dressed in colorful 80's sportswear, counted off for each stretch she performed, and Roshi eagerly followed along.
"One two, one two~! Heh hee~!"
So absorbed was the venerable martial arts master that he didn't hear us come in. Goku stood next to Roshi's ear and took a deep breath.
"OLD-TIMER!"
My brother's point-blank shout rattled Roshi's head and finally got his attention. Goku giggled.
"Oh, it's you boys, huh?" Roshi said as a rather lackluster greeting.
"Yeah, I came to train!"
"Right, right," Roshi said, waving one hand at my brother and turning back to the screen. "Just a second… One second."
Goku blinked. Twice. He looked at me with his head cocked. He got a shrug and a shake of my head.
"One two, one two~!"
'Well. Imperfection is beauty, they say.'
"Old-timer, I'm hungry." Goku said.
"Huh? Yeah, there's a fridge in there," Roshi said, pointing to his right. "Help yourselves."
Translation: Quit interrupting Roshi time.
Goku plodded over into the kitchen with me following in his wake.
"Does he mean this thing?" He wondered aloud, staring at the fridge. "Why's he keep his food in a box?"
Goku opened the door and cold air seeped out. My kid brother reacted like he'd found the door to Narnia.
"Aniki, it's winter in here!"
'God, you're adorable.'
Goku reached inside and pulled out a thick slab of beef.
"Thanks for th' food!"
"Ah buh-buh-bup! Ho~ld it right there," I said, snatching the meat out of his hands. "No brother of mine is gonna eat cold beef."
"But I'm your only brother." Goku pointed out.
"I'm just making a point," I said, walking over to Roshi's stove. "Snack on other stuff while I cook this."
"Okay!"
My stance on beef and the consumption thereof was only half the reason I stopped him; I also wanted an excuse to refamiliarize myself with gas kitchen appliances after so long relying on spit roasts over a campfire. My foreseeable future plans demanded it, after all.
That, and Goku didn't have a monopoly on appetite.
"Ho," Roshi exclaimed from the other room. "That was great! I'm refreshed!"
A few moments later, he padded into the kitchen looking for us.
"Wha–?!"
He found some mild carnage. Goku lay at the foot of the refrigerator with a grin on his face, belly slightly distended; I stood over the beef I'd cut and cooked, eating straight from the pan.
"Did you two eat everything that was in there?" Roshi asked, slack-jawed.
"No," I said. I pinched the last piece of beef and dropped it into my mouth. "Now, we have."
Goku giggled and sat up, fixing his pants.
"That was a week's worth of food for me… what're you here for, anyway?"
"Training!" Goku answered immediately.
"Uh… huh." Roshi said slowly, glancing in my direction.
"We've got some time before we look for the Dragon Balls again," I said, licking my fingers. "So he wanted to take you up on your offer before."
"He, not we?" Roshi asked.
"I'm a pacifist," I said. "We're just a package deal."
'For now.' I added silently.
"Hm." Roshi nodded.
Goku jumped up and plodded back to the front porch where we'd left Kinto'un.
"Look, we brought futons n' everything!"
Roshi followed Goku out. He craned his neck, searching up and down the shore of his small island.
"Say, where's the puff-puff girl who was with you?"
"Bulma? She went back to the city."
"Ah," Roshi clicked his tongue, frowning. "Damn!"
I chose not to comment on Roshi's disappointment; instead, I unloaded our clothes and futons from Kinto'un and carried them inside to the second floor.
I wondered how our friends were faring.
Sweet Rice Wine
"I'm sick of deserts." Oolong groaned.
Yamcha kept his silence, but even he had to agree; they'd lost their plane not a few hours out from Pilaf's castle. With no other capsules on hand, they'd had to continue on foot.
"We sure this is the way to the city?"
"Straight North is how we get there," Bulma panted. "Or it should be."
Yamcha wiped his brow. If he looked at the trek like another sort of training, he could endure it. He wasn't sure about the others, though. He glanced at the sun and…
"Wait," he said, thinking about the time of day and the sun's position. "Puar, compass!"
"Aye!"
Bamf.
A second later, the needle settled and confirmed his suspicion.
"We've been heading South!"
It was as if all their luck had vanished along with the Son brothers.
"What?!" Bulma shouted. She sank to her knees. "Ouch!"
"Hold still," Yamcha said, pacing back and kneeling beside her. He checked on her injured foot, holding it gingerly to avoid hurting her. "We can't let that get infected; I'll change the dressing."
Lacking bandages, he took off his bandana and wrapped it around her ankle.
"Thanks, Yamcha." Bulma said softly.
He looked up and found her smiling at him. His cheeks warmed and he couldn't help grinning.
"Ah, heh…"
Maybe not all his luck.
"Feh!" Oolong spat.
A beat passed.
"Huh?" He pointed toward the horizon where something was kicking up a huge cloud of dust. "What's that?"
Sweet Rice Wine
In the midst of the high noon heat of the desert, one child, an as-yet unknown marital artist, having left his peers behind, stormed in a beeline for the ocean.
Sweet Rice Wine
"My training is quite strict, you know." Roshi said, taking a sip of cola.
He gathered the two of us around his living room coffee table; the old master and I sat on the floor while my eager brother remained on his feet.
"I can do it!" Goku declared, slapping his hands on the table for emphasis. "I'm gonna get even stronger than you, old-timer!"
"O~ho-ho!" Roshi laughed at his boast. "Stronger than me, huh?"
"Ho-ho-ho!" Goku laughed, mimicking the Kame Sen'nin.
"I won't teach you for nothing," Roshi said, looking away. "You must bring me a pichi pichi gal," he snapped his head around and pointed at Goku. "Only then will I train you!"
"Whazza bitchy bitchy gag?" Goku asked with a straight face.
"Pft!"
I snorted. Neither of them seemed to notice.
"Pichi. Pichi. Gal!" Roshi said, emphasizing each word. He leaned in, brow furrowed behind his shades. "A cute, lively young woman!"
"Hm," Goku hummed thoughtfully. "So, if I bring a pichi pichi gal here, you'll train me?"
"Yesss~!" Roshi sang, flashing a peace sign.
"Aw, that's easy!" Goku said, walking outside and hopping onto Kinto'un. "Be back soon, Mirin!" He called back.
"Ah," Roshi hemmed, waving at my brother to stop him. "You do understand what I mean by pichi pichi gal, don't you?"
"It's a guy with no winkie and lotsa spunk, right?"
"…"
Roshi rubbed his bald head with an awkward laugh.
"Aheh, well I suppose that's not wrong, but she must be more than just energetic," he said. He set about clarifying what he was looking for. "They can't be too child-like or too old; they must be cute, and preferably of the voluptuous sort."
"This is getting hard," Goku muttered, scratching his head. "Whaddaya mean by vol… volup…"
"Voluptuous." I reminded him.
"Yeah, that."
Half a beat went by; Roshi just silently gawked at my brother.
"We're gonna have to start at the ve~ry beginning with you, huh." He murmured.
"Anyway, I'll bring back a guy like that!" Goku declared.
"Good luck." Roshi said, seeing my brother off with an affirming grunt.
The old hermit wandered back inside, looking idly thoughtful.
"Say," he said, turning to me. "Didn't he used to have a tail?"
"Oh, yeah," I said. I chewed the inside of my lip, remembering the events of the previous night. "Some stuff happened and it's gone now."
"Hum." Thankfully, Roshi didn't seem overly interested in the details. He spun his staff and pointed it at me. "Now then, you."
"?"
"A pupil is one thing," he said. "But even if you are Gohan's grandson, I don't abide freeloaders."
"Oh," I said, letting out a sigh. His tone had tricked me into thinking there was an actual issue. "No need to worry about that. I plan on taking care of cooking and housekeeping while we're here."
Roshi nodded.
"Well, that'll do, that'll do," he clapped his hands together with a gleeful grin. "Now clear out! I gotta get ready~!"
"Yeah, yeah."
The greatest martial arts master alive then set about preparing for a fun time; he put on lively music; he brought out an ice bucket and a bottle of wine that, thank God, was kept in a cooler separate from the fridge (an inebriated Goku sounded all kinds of lethal); he changed out of his casual vacation fit for a suit and tie; and he swapped out his purple weighted shell for one painted bright pink.
That last point made me realize Roshi was a bit like Grandpa in some respects; goofy as they were, not one moment passed when they completely turned off the marital artist.
"Old-timer, I'm back!"
Goku's announcement cut short my musings and Roshi's anxious thumb-twiddling in the living room. He eagerly raced out onto the porch.
"Heh, heh-geh?!"
He stared up at a young, redheaded woman with twin tails, freckles and clad in a leotard.
"Sup?"
A supersized young, redhead woman.
"She's got lots of energy!" Goku assured us.
Sweet Rice Wine
"It's actually impressive," Roshi said, taking a sip from the wine that he'd intended to share. "Just how badly you missed the mark."
"I did?" My brother wondered.
I kept out of the exchange; my time was better spent unearthing the spare sheets and pillow cases from Roshi's closet for when the last of the hermit's guests showed up. Sitting unused for decades was essentially the same thing as unwashed, by my reckoning.
"Okay," Goku said, pumping his fists and walking back outside. "I'll get it right this time!"
"Uh," Roshi reached out after him again. "Maybe you should take your brother along for a second opinion?"
"Pass." I called flatly as I walked through the living room with a load of laundry. "He's your disciple, not me."
"I'll be back!" Goku said, flying off again.
I stepped out onto the porch and waved at him as Kinto'un disappeared from sight. I glanced back and found Roshi hiding around the side of the house.
"Coward." I muttered.
My brother made had an even quicker turnaround the second time.
"Aniki, old-timer, I'm back!" He called, hopping off Kinto'un before it came to a complete stop. He looked around, confused by Roshi's absence. "Where'd he go?"
I jabbed a thumb toward the side of the house–he bounded off in search of the hermit.
"Um."
I turned toward Kinto'un's second passenger; long violet hair framed the sort of face Roshi was looking for, clad in a red t-shirt that read 'Pie-Pie'.
'Stay classy, Toriyama.'
The only detail Goku had missed this round was the human aspect.
My brother brought back a mermaid.
"Nice to meet you," I said, lacking anything clever or less awkward to say. "Sorry your day's been interrupted with this."
"It's fine," she said, glancing toward Goku and Roshi. "What is 'this', exactly?"
I averted eye contact and rubbed the back of my neck. My brother came running back over before I had to answer.
"Hey," he said to our gracefully willing guest. "Do you have panchee?"
Not that Goku actually helped stave off the embarrassment.
"Panties?" She asked, mercifully clarifying the question so I didn't have to.
Goku nodded.
"Don't have any," she said. "Just this shirt."
My brother blinked, uncomprehending, and spun on his heel.
"Hey, old-timer!"
"I don't know what he told you," I said sheepishly, dragging my hand down my face. "But thank you for indulging him."
"Your little brother?"
"Yes."
"He's nice."
"I swear he means well."
"H-h-hey~!"
Roshi finally made his presence known, giving me the chance to drop out of the painful exchange.
"So," Mermaid-san said. "Can I help you with something?"
Roshi actually flopped face first into the sand upon noticing why she didn't have panties. Not one to be deterred, he changed tactics. Or more specifically, targets.
"If it isn't too much trouble," he said, barely containing a lecherous grin and making pinching motions with his fingers. "Would you let me poke your pie-pie?"
Swak!
Splash.
Mermaid-san leapt off Kinto'un into the ocean after leaving a red mark on Roshi's cheek.
"I get it," Goku said. "Panchee means punch!"
"Hrm," Roshi grunted, clearing his throat and righting his sunglasses. "Yes. As martial artists, our bodies must be strong enough to withstand our opponent's attacks."
I pinched my nose and waved a hand in front of my face to dispel the stench of improvised bullshit.
"Now," Roshi said, hands behind his back. "Bring me another pichi pichi gal!"
"Again?" Goku asked, disappointed.
"I told you my training was strict!"
"Before that," I said, pointing out to sea. "You've got another aspiring pupil headed this way."
"Huh?"
Goku and Roshi followed my line of sight to a dot on the horizon.
"I see 'im!" Goku said first; not surprising, given his eyesight. "There's a weird guy coming this way in a boat!"
"I see the boat," Roshi conceded, glancing at me. "But what makes you so sure he's coming to seek out training?"
"I just know things," I said. The rowboat came to a stop a decent distance from shore. "Here he comes."
