December 2001

Her first year had come and gone in the blink of an eye. It was now the winter of the year after she arrived, and the land was covered under a blanket of snow.

She watched as Gunnar made snowmen and Khalid grumble about how anyone could find pleasure in being freezing cold playing in snow. She had gotten the chance to visit her parents a few times, but hadn't seen them in a couple months; they didn't even recognize who she was.

Ivan was in his office seeing to some paperwork, periodically watching out the window to keep an eye on them. He noticed the two men being themselves, but Jessica looked as if she was in a trance looking at the scenery. He finished his work and made his way down to the courtyard where they were all gathered and took a seat beside her, wondering what she was so absorbed in… He loved the church grounds and countryside in the summer and fall, but in winter it was barren, white, and gray.

"See something interesting out there?", he asked her.

"Not necessarily. I've never seen so much wide open space before. Being in Copenhagen most of my life, I'm used to crowded dirty wet streets full of people yelling and street vendors trying to sell cheap crap for Christmas. It's so quiet and free out here," she told him.

He couldn't help but notice how her blue eyes sparkled with happiness as she explained why she was so enthused about spending winter in the country.

She was quite enchanting, this little lady who showed up at the church's doorstep. He felt a warmth in his chest when he saw her smile. She noticed a change in his expression as he was looking at her, and it gave her butterflies. They sat staring at each other for a moment then turned away awkwardly, both feeling heat slowly rise to their faces.

"I've arranged a special dinner for tonight. I hope you're all good with baked ham, mashed potatoes, green beans, and sweet potato pie for dessert!"

Ivan gave her an incredulous look.

"How could you have possibly had time to prepare all that? You've been out here for several hours!," he exclaimed.

"I haven't been out here all day… I was inside and got bored, so I put in a ham in the oven and have the ingredients for the sides sitting out. I should actually probably go and check on everything. But not before I get to take advantage of having nice fluffy snow on the ground…"

She paused, spread out her arms, fell backward into the thickest part of the snow, and started to make a snow angel. Her FIRST snow angel. It was pure bliss!

She could feel snow seep into her coat through the arms, but she couldn't care less. When it went down into her pants though, that was a different story. She immediately hopped up off the ground and started dancing around in a panic.

"... What are you doing?", Ivan asked, obviously confused.

"Snow- ugh -down… pants- ugh, COLD!", she gasped while laughing.

Ivan soon joined in laughing as did the others as she ran into the kitchen and stood with her back to the oven. A few moments later, the others walked in to check on her.

"I hope that's helping. I imagine a cold ass isn't the most pleasant thing in the world," Gunnar commented.

Ivan put the back of his hand over his mouth, obviously trying to hide a grin. She looked down then back up at the group.

"Yes, Gunnar, it definitely helps… Now to check on that ham!", she exclaimed, trying to quickly change the subject.

Thankfully, it was almost done, so she had cooking to distract her from her embarrassment. She slid the potatoes and pie into the oven next to and under the meat and closed the door then she turned her attention to the green beans. She emptied a frozen package of them she picked from the garden in the fall into a pot and began steaming them. They all sat down for dinner a few moments later.

Business as usual. Ivan giving the prayer, Gunnar and Khalid being themselves, and Ivan and Jessica mainly talking amongst themselves.

"Maybe when spring comes we can all plan a camping trip!," Gunnar suggested.

"Why on Earth do people even like camping? It's willingly living like dogs," Khalid retorted.

Ivan and Jessica couldn't help but snicker in amusement at their banter.One being an optimist, and the other an eternal pessimist.

One of the many things Ivan appreciated about Jessica was that she was a good balance of both. Happy and laid back, but also realistic and grounded.

"Bonfires in the spring are always a good idea. Fresh air and getting out of the dorms, but not having to go very far to get your nature fix," Jessica chimed in.

Ivan agreed.

As they sat and talked about plans for spring, they didn't notice that they had sat up well into the late evening. It was nearly midnight.

Jessica volunteered to do the dishes while Gunnar and Khalid quickly retreated to their rooms. Ivan offered to stay and help her, but she wouldn't have it.

He went to get something from his office and was about to go home. When he walked past the kitchen, he stopped and watched Jessica from the doorway as she started humming, then her humming turned to singing. He was never one to spy on people, but Jessica was an exception. He listened to her as she softly sang with a grin creeping onto his face.

"You fill up my senses

Like a night in a forest

Like the mountains in springtime

Like a walk in the rain

Like a storm in the desert

Like a sleepy blue ocean

You fill up my senses

Come fill me again…"

Ivan felt his grin slowly fade. He began to feel an emotion he had very seldom felt in his life: bewitched.

"Come, let me love you

Let me give my life to you

Let me drown in your laughter

Let me die in your arms

Let me lay down beside you

Let me always be with you

Come, let me love you

Come love me again…"

He felt his heart flutter at the sound of her gentle voice. His mind was starting to blank, focusing on nothing but her.

"Let me give my life to you

Come, let me love you

Come love me again…"

He didn't know what to think. Sure, they were very good friends, and they HAD grown close. But this… This was an intense feeling.

"You fill up my senses

Like a night in a forest

Like the mountains in springtime

Like a walk in the rain

Like a storm in the desert

Like a sleepy blue ocean

You fill up my senses

Come fill me again."

Her voice lightly faded out the last lyrics. Ivan snapped back to reality and rushed out of the kitchen. His hands were on his temples trying to comprehend what had just happened.

She was nearly half his age! What was he thinking?! That a pretty young girl like her would ever have romantic feelings toward a thirty-something-year-old priest who takes care of criminals? He must have been losing his mind to even entertain such a notion. True, the age of consent in Denmark was fifteen, but that much of an age gap would be offensive to anyone. He couldn't help it though; she was so full of love and innocence, it was hard to not feel tenderly toward her.

'Maybe it's just a phase… A lack of friends for nearly the last decade has apparently taken its toll,' he reasoned.

Sure, he wasn't alone in a physical sense, he had Gunnar and Khalid to worry about, but emotionally was a different story. He hadn't had anyone take an interest in being his friend for so long it was almost a foreign concept to him.

'I'm sure it's just my mind adjusting to actually having someone enjoy being around me. So much so that I'm getting ahead of myself. It will pass, I'm certain.'

Ivan took a few breaths, gave himself a few minutes to gather his wits, and walked back into the kitchen to see that Jess was in a much different mood than before… Her eyes were red and puffy, and she had tear tracks on her cheeks. He knew something awful must have happened.

"Jess? Jess, what's wrong?"

She looked in his direction, and broke into a sob. She sprinted to him and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"I- I just got a call from Tatianna. Sh-she said my parents are dead!", she exclaimed, crying.

"I'm so sorry, Jess. Do they know what happened?", he asked as she tried to calm herself down so she could talk.

"She said that my mom passed in her sleep and my dad couldn't deal with it so he skipped his medications and just… Let himself die," she explained to him through a waterfall of tears.

He just held her tightly and let her cry into his chest.

She was now completely alone in the world. No parents, no siblings, no aunts, uncles, or grandparents who cared. It was just her against the world now.

As she laid her head against his chest shaking and crying he put his hand on the side of her head and held her there. He noticed she was shivering. He told her to go to the library and he would would light a fire in the fireplace.

She made her way to the library as he went to get an arm load of wood. When he walked into the room, she was huddled up on the loveseat with her knees pulled up to her chest. He lit the fire and took a seat beside her.

They sat in silence for a few minutes. Ivan didn't know if he was comforting her or not, but he wanted to be there for her.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, she laid on her side, lifted his arm, and snaked her way under it to snuggle up to him. His breath caught for a moment. After a few minutes, he could hear soft snoring coming from her.

As he watched her sleep with his arm wrapped around her he knew. There was no doubting it now; he was falling for Jessica Larsen.