Out of Time

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious

A/N: Here's a song I want you to listen for this chapter or a portion of it sung by Demis Rousoss "Goodbye my love, goodbye".


Chapter 22 (Light a Candle)

Jade knew this hospital well, having frequented it a few times over the years. It was here that in her earlier days she nearly got in trouble for stealing blood; but the nurse was so daft that she kept drawing blood from Tori.

Nowadays she still felt guilty for that, and knowing what she did about the staff at this place she couldn't help but suspect there was more to that nurse's 'stupidity' than she thought.

Looking over her shoulder, police sirens littered the sky and cars flooded the streets. Gary was leading the charge. Never did Jade think she would witness a police raid firsthand, much less a raid of a popular hospital. It couldn't be helped, Trina named several top doctors and nurses that actively participated with this criminal organization. In other words, there were going to be numerous arrests made.

Spencer and Tori emerged from a nearby car, looking at the hospital with anxious gazes. Gary motioned to them. "Jade, Beck, you two escort them to the hospital room Katrina informed us about. Samantha, you're with me."

Sam nodded and moved with Gary and other officers to the doors. All officers unholstered their weapons in case anyone inside would try to fight, each person was equipped with protective gear and Kevlar vests.

They entered and all agencies in attendance wasted little time announcing themselves. "LAPD." "FBI." "CSP, put your hands in the air and do not resist." Gary and Sam pressed their backs against each other and circled the area.

The receptionist, several doctors and nurses in the waiting room froze on the spot, their eyes widening. Gary held up his badge. "Detective Gary Malone presiding. Any and all patients that are not in serious or critical condition, this hospital is closed as of this moment. All patients will be transferred to other hospitals."

A slender man in a white coat and dark brim glasses started to approach. "What is this about?" Gary looked to him, studying the badge on his uniform.

"Doctor Juan Barerra?" The man nodded. Gary raised a hand with two fingers pointing upwards and signaled the officers. "He's on the list of staff named." Dr. Barerra frowned as Gary's eyes narrowed. "You're under arrest for conspiring with Holly Vega, known leader of the La Sombre gang." Dr. Barerra looked like a deer caught in headlights as another officer hurried to him and slapped a pair of cuffs on the man's wrist. "Where is Mrs. Vega currently located?" Dr. Barerra groaned and the receptionist answered, her voice urgent.

"Downstairs." The woman pointed to the left. "Just take the elevator to the lowest level. You need a doctor's key though."

Dr. Barerra smirked. "Good luck getting one of us to give that up." Gary sneered at the man, glaring menacingly into his eyes.

"The woman is wanted for selling children and people into slavery, wanted for prostitution rings, corruption and murder. She's wanted for kidnapping babies fresh off the delivery table. Are you willing to risk life in prison as an accomplice for this woman?"

"No, but we don't want to die for defying her either. Feel free to raze this place to the ground if you want, but we value our lives. We know full well what that demon would do to all of us."

"Help us find her and she won't be able to do anything," Sam replied with an annoyed, growling tone.

As patients began to leave, the receptionist dialed up the intercom system. "Paging all hospital staff, please come the first floor waiting area immediately." It took a few minutes as doctors, nurses, and orderlies began making their way in. "Who among you has a key to the basement level?" Dr. Barerra looked with bewilderment at the receptionist and hissed at her.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"I don't have any loyalty to her. I've seen what crap goes on here, and I'm done with it. Someone better help the police or I'll report every one of you to the medical examiner boards." Dr. Barerra stuttered as another doctor extended a small key towards Gary.

It was an older man with a white beard and silver hair. "Just get rid of her, she's a stain on all of us. Half of us that don't pledge to her cult will already have our reputations tattered-no doctor or nurse working here will be able to practice medicine again."

"Those that are not found to have anything to do with the criminal organization may well be exonerated."

The old man waved his hand and turned away. "Bah! You know as well as I do the court of the public is a real thing. We'll all be blasted on these convoluted social media platforms, no one will hire us. Just do what you must, officer and leave us be."

"What is your name, sir?"

"Dr. Bryce Garrett, I'm the second in charge of this hospital next to that batshit woman. There's nothing to be done with her, we could not act-those of us that did not side with her."

"I understand. Thank you for your aid sir."

Gary and Sam joined Spencer, Tori, Carly, Jade and Beck at the elevators. They raised an eyebrow at the group. "Still haven't gone up?"

Spencer sighed. "Damn elevator's taking forever. Tempted to use the stairs."

Gary hit the button and the doors popped open, turning Spencer's face red. "Well get going, Sasha doesn't have forever and neither do you." The group rushed into the elevator and Gary shook his head. "Believe me," he whispered, "I know how hard it can be. I'm sorry I can't provide moral support in this moment…"

On the top floor, Sasha lay atop a hospital bed, her body was tired and a numbness was beginning to overtake her. Her weary eyes watched the window that Trina had left open for her, the blue curtains swayed in the gentle wind.

Music played on a nearby radio, an artist that was among her father's favorites and among the last singers she heard before the abduction. Demis Roussos. The album was 'Forever and Ever'. There were a couple times she could remember dancing to his music with Spencer.

Songs like Velvet Mornings, Lost in Dreams, My Friend the Wind, and We Shall Dance were among her favorites of his. The saddest song he had which used to make her cry was Goodbye My Love, Goodbye. It had been so many years since she heard his music, and it brought to her memories of her parents, of Spencer, of her grandparents. It brought memories of her life before, when she was happy. Alive.

Closing her eyes, she saw her mother and father as though standing among white, fluffy clouds. The sky around them was a beautiful blue and behind them a river flowed past.

Folding her hands on top of her stomach, she struggled to breathe in. She could see the end in sight, grateful as she was to Trina for getting her out of the dungeon.

She saw a field of marigolds and violets in her mind, there was Spencer, like a vision laying among them. Sasha remembered curling beside him, hand on his chest and knees between her belly and his thigh. Her hair, luscious and long, spread out behind her as she nestled her head in the curve of his neck.

"We can do anything." Spencer's voice echoed, like honey in her ears. "I can't believe how lucky I am." His hand moved in smooth circles on her back. His scent was so vivid that he could have been in the very room with her. "Me, the goofy, nerdy artsy kid with the hottest gamer chick in school? It doesn't seem possible."

She giggled and slid her hand forward along his belly until her arm draped over him and her hand tucked beneath his back. "I love you, and I think your art is perfect too."

"Remember when I was working on that project for the art fair and you were walking by with a candle you just bought?" Sasha chuckled and Spencer turned his head to her. "You were busy smelling it, tripped and set my project on fire."

"See, now every time you see fire you'll think of me."

"Sasha." Spencer closed his eyes and sighed. "I'd go crazy without you."

"You'd live…" Her eyes fluttered open as Goodbye my love echoed in the room. A single fresh tear forced a startled gasp from her lips. She heard the doorknob click and turned her head on the side, staring as the door opened.

Her heart skipped a beat when she looked into the familiar gaze, but there was a great sadness in his eyes. "Sasha." Her name fell breathlessly from his lips and he nearly collapsed on his way to her.

"Spencer." She started to move her hand towards him, bending her elbow and curling her fingers between her face and his. Tears fell from his eyes as he cupped her hand with his.

"All these years." Sobs shook from his lips. He reached over, gently brushing her thin hair from her eyes. "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry Sasha. I should've been there for you. I should have chased after you that night."

She slowly shook her head, the corners of her lips turning upwards ever so slightly. It was a struggle to speak, though there were many things she wanted to tell him. "I wouldn't have let you."

"It doesn't matter. I still-"

"You can't blame yourself. You can't hold on to the past, to me…love." Her chest throbbed and Spencer dropped his head. Saliva dripped from his teeth and mixed with the rivers falling from his chin. She spotted a girl standing near him, her face was long and wet with moisture. "Is that her?" Spencer looked over his shoulder and nodded in affirmation.

"I found our daughter, we got her away from those people."

Tori approached the bed and knelt at the edge. Sasha's smile started to grow and she slowly inhaled. "So beautiful. So free."

Spencer started to tremble, he turned his head to the side and clenched his eyes shut. "What do I do? Sasha…" She reached up, curling her hand against his cheek. He opened his eyes and looked back to her. "Trina found the police, she let us know you were here. She said you weren't going to make it."

"I've been fading a long time now, Spencer. Holding on to the hope I might see you one more time."

"No, don't say that." He cried out and shook his head. "I just found you. Our daughter's here. I barely lived since you were taken from us, since your parents were…"

"I love you." Spencer's chest quaked and Sasha caressed his cheek gently. Tori choked out a sob and cupped her hand over her mouth. Behind them, Beck motioned for Jade to follow him outside the room.

"I've only lived hoping one day to find you again. Hoping, praying you were out here in the world."

"Now live for our daughter." Sasha's heartbeat was slowing, her breathing was steadily growing more labored. She turned her gaze towards Tori and extended a hand. "Can I hold you? For a moment?" Tori sniffed and nodded her head, slowly approaching the woman and carefully wrapping her arms around her. "You're free now, be there for your father, be there for each other. I want you to know, I'm proud of you."

Tori started to cry, wiping her eyes with her shirt sleeve. "I don't even know where I'm going from here. I only just found out you exist, only to lose you before I know you?"

"I know it's difficult." She looked to Spencer, fresh tears fleeing her eyes. "I haven't cried in so long, I haven't felt joy in so long. Seeing you, both of you now, I know I can finally be at peace." She leaned her head back slowly and started to smile. "I love you both."

"Please," Spencer cried, "We can help you."

Sasha let out a heavy sigh and moved one hand towards her chest. "I can never be the person I was again. Spencer my love…" She turned her eyes towards him. "You have to let me go. You've been holding on to me long enough. It's time for you to live your life."

"I don't know how, I…"

"You'll find a way." Her chest grew tighter and she let out a single cough. "Spencer, do you remember that art fair when we were young?" He chuckled sadly and his shoulders dropped.

"Which one?"

"You had a project you were working on and I just got this new Yankee Candle. 'Lily of the Valley'."

"I remember."

"I lit it up and was smelling it, and I tripped on the sidewalk." Spencer smiled through his tears and a single laugh fell from his trembling lips. "Lit your whole project on fire. I was so embarrassed."

"I remember that."

"Remember what you told me?" Spencer's brow furrowed and he slowly nodded as Sasha folded her hands on her stomach and looked towards the ceiling. "You said fire would be our new element, every time we saw a flame we'd think of one another. Like the love we had, an ember that would never die."

"Yeah. Yeah I remember."

"You told me I lit a fire in your heart." She looked back to him and raised a hand to his chest. "I thought it was cheesy at the time; but now I think that fire is still there. Always in you, and there I am with you." He closed his eyes and curled his hand around hers. She felt his trembling heart and curled her fingertips. "So light a fire for me once in a while. Whether in a fireplace or one of those candles. That way, you remember me how you loved me. Cherish the happy moments, the memories that I've held on to all these years."

"I will, Sasha. I will." He stood slowly, still holding her hand. Sasha looked at Carly, who seemed to shrink away. The girl was wiping her face with a tissue.

"Carly. Last time I saw you, you were just a baby. My how you've grown." Carly chuckled nervously and Sasha looked upwards, seeing her parents once more. "Take care of them, Carly. My beloved ones."

"I-I'll try my best."

"I wish I could have told my parents that I was sorry for worrying them, upsetting them. Let them know that I loved them."

"They know," Spencer whispered. "They always knew you did." He leaned over, removing a small ring from his pocket. "I meant to give this to you that night." Sasha peered down, gazing with a weakened smile as Spencer slid the ring onto her finger. "I will always love you, Sasha. Always. I'm sorry I couldn't get to you sooner. It's been hell living without you."

"I told you already…"

"I know." He leaned over, gently kissing her forehead and then her lips. The warmth sent a tingling sensation through her body, she hummed and closed her eyes, smiling as she curled her hand protectively around the ring on her finger.

In her mind she saw her parents reaching out to her. "Light a candle for me, love." Spencer shook with a sob and wrapped his arms around her, hugging her close and lifting her slightly off the bed. "Seeing you and Tori, is the happiest moment of my life." A new tear ran down the side of her face and she reached around his back, trembling. "Am I free now?"

"You're free." Spencer started to weep, burying his face into her chest. "You're free." Her arm slid away from him, dropping onto the bed. Her head sank back and Spencer fell to his knees, gently laying her onto the bed.

A grievous wail shouted from his lips as his shoulders sank and his body shook violently. Carly knelt beside him and slowly wrapped her arms around him, resting her head on his shoulder. Tori placed a hand on Sasha's forearm and closed her eyes.

"Goodbye mom, I hope you'll finally be at peace." Tori looked to the nearby end table and furrowed her brow when she saw a candle with a note beside it. There was a matchbook beside it. She picked up the note with trembling fingertips and quietly read it. "She told me about candles, so I found the one she talked about in an outlet store somewhere. Feel free to light it for her. Trina."

Pressing her lips together, Tori slowly picked up the matchbook. She removed a match and after about three tries she finally lit it. "This is for you, Mom." She listened to Spencer continuing to weep, mixed in with Carly's tearful sobs. Nearly dropping the match, she lit the candle and waved the match to extinguish the flame.

A fresh floral scent filled the air around them and Spencer slowly lifted his head. His breaths were quick and coming out in shudders. "Sasha…" He looked towards Sasha's face, kissed his fingertips and gently placed them atop her lips. "Goodbye my love…"

He stood slowly and walked to the radio, carefully turning it off. Two sobs drifted from his mouth and his body twitched each time. "We need to get her out of this place." He wiped his eyelids with his wrist. Carefully he picked up the warm candle in his hands and gazed at the flickering light with a gentle smile. He closed his eyes and breathed in the scent, and immediately he thought of Sasha as he'd always known her: laughing, sweet, stunning, quick-witted.

Carly placed a hand on his and looked into his eyes. "Spencer, are you going to be okay?" He cleared his throat and lowered the candle for a second.

"I…I think I will. I know she's in a better place now, I know she's finally at peace."

"Now you and Tori can work on finding your peace. Together. And like she said…" Carly wrapped her hand around the glass container and smiled at the flame. "Any time you need her, just light a fire and she'll be right there. She's always in your hearts. No matter what."


That was a difficult scene to write, I know I was tearing up. I thought about whether Sasha could survive but it didn't make sense, and I know living wasn't the freedom she needed. It's a heartbreaking chapter, but now she can be at peace but Spencer and Tori can finally start to move on.