After a long and careful investigation, I have stumbled upon an answer to my question: What's going on with Marinette?
It was a slow process, of course. Especially since she seems to flee whenever I so much as look at her, but by being exceedingly careful (and using my alter ego to follow her around), I managed to set up a list of odd behaviors, as follows:
It was a sunny day in Paris, not the kind of sunny days where everything is right with the world, but one of those where your sweat is sweating, everything sticks to your skin and there seems to be a humid invisible force of evil following you as to punish your lungs whenever you try to get some air in.
Clever people would not dare to go out in a day like this under threats of spontaneous combustion, birds and dogs nowhere to be seen while the stench of stale dairy clung to one golden-haired teen who wished desperately to be done with his infernal job of a modeling career. His make-up was itching since dawn and, by a quick look at the sky, the sun was almost at its zenith imposing its wrath upon those who were foolish enough to defy it.
Out of the corner of his eye he spotted her and, with the little presence of mind he still had, he wondered about her common sense.
A few more pictures were taken and he was promptly sent on his way, his photographer seemingly as hasty as he was to find cover, though the subway might not be the best option right now…
He was about to get in the car when he heard it, an explosion coming from the café where he'd seen his classmate just minutes ago, and where he was seeing her now... Scurrying away?... Instead of running?... Wait, where was she going? She entered a bathroom on the side of the building and looked around before closing the door just as an akuma with an ice cream cone hat caught his attention, he'd think about it later…
Later came and went and he still had no feasible reason for what he had seen. While he browsed The Ladyblog he couldn't help but ruminate on what happened. He knew Marinette was somewhat an eccentric; most of the geniuses he knew about were the same so he always tried to be understanding with her, but if she was doing something related to akumas he'd have to get involved, no one should be reckless with dangerous situations.
Come to think of it… She was usually right there before anyone got possessed, more than that… She sometimes made a beeline for the next victim (with an astounding accuracy) to try to calm them down. That must mean she is on his side at least… Wait, this looks a little more complicated than previously expected.
He slid his chair across the room until he got to his bag to grab a pen, disturbing Plagg in the process.
"What's it this time, kid! Can't you let me relax for once? I'm too tired for your shenanigans…"
"Don't start Plagg, I just needed a pen, go back to sleep."
"No can do. You wake me, you feed me. I'm waiting!"
"Fine…"
The kwami enjoyed his treat sitting over the keyboard while Adrien kept writing down his thoughts. After a few minutes of the same he got curious and floated closer.
"Let me see; She follows you around, she hides when you notice, she makes real bad excuses for disappearing, she often talks to herself… Is this about your girlfriend?" The sound of the pen against paper suddenly stops as green meets green in a battle of stubbornness. With a sigh, the silence is broken.
"Again, not my girlfriend. Don't you think this is odd?" The black cat hovers around his, legs crossed, apparently in orbit.
"Not at all, I've seen quite a lot of people like that…What were they called? Oh yeah, mercenaries, ninjas, whatsoever." He halted his motion to give the teen an amused look. "Wouldn't it be funny if she was hired for some dirty job?"
"Don't be silly, Marinette wouldn't be able to hide something like that… Alya would notice for sure." The tip of the pen pressed against his cheek as he mentally confirmed his theory, finding that it was a bit lacking.
"But then again, she doesn't know where she is half of the time…" The kwami mumbled, the conversation starting to weigh on them.
"What we need is an observable phenomenon, something that's sure to happen, then we can make some hypothesis about it and find a way to disprove it." He scribbled down a diagram while his companion stretched its back.
"Phenomenon? As in something unbelievable? Well, I've seen her stumble around one moment and the next pull a perfect backflip."
"No, that's phenomenal… But I didn't know that. Have you noticed anything else?"
"What else… She talks to her purse, stole your cellphone, runs to hide something in her room whenever you drop by…"
"My cellphone?! Did she see you?"
"Well… I don't know. I was drowsy after eating so much."
"How can you just tell me this now? When did it happen?!" He seemed to be yelling but his voice was but a whisper.
"Calm down! If she knows she didn't tell, if she doesn't then there's no problem!" His tiny paws moved aimlessly trying to soothe the aggravation away.
"I have to find her!" He jumped off his chair and made his way towards the window, not bothering to turn off the computer. "I thought it was just a hunch but there is something weird going on and I need to find out what it is! Plagg, claws out!"
Chat Noir was not the kind of guy who'd think things through before jumping, that was one of the allures of the character, but Chat Noir wasn't in the driver seat at the moment, please and thank you.
Once he arrived at the rooftop of the greatest bakery in all of Paris he had already formulated a plan, so he carefully slid open the hatch door, carefully memorized the placement of everything and closed it again, carefully slamming his finger with it to carefully cringe. Then he slid down halfway around the window staring at his classmate while he pressed the button in his baton. Two rings and a squeak was all it took.
"Hello Marinette. It's me, Adrien. I'll be at your place in about 3 minutes, I need to ask you a favor." Like magic, the blue eyed girl stood up and began hiding things, first she put a journal inside a box, then she closed a desk drawer, next she looked at her wall and tried to stack a bunch of photos and posters, all the while trying to get a coherent sentence out. "A...Adright I eh-hum Adrien, a-all right, I'll meet you outdoor I mean the door I mean outside!... I'll... Just… go." The call had ended and Adrien just watched as she tossed the string from a pull down chart up where no one would see it…She retired from the room leaving behind the echo of "Mamaaan!" to get lost in the empty room. Well that was an impressive speed.
Not to be overshadowed, the black cat wasted no time in leaping inside the bedroom, his attention was immediately directed at the box, with the intention of retrieving its content, his hand stopped at the last moment when a metallic blink warned him against a trap mechanism... He'd have to make do without the diary. He quickly scanned the photograph dully noting that they were mostly of him.
Then he tried to open the drawer... It was stuck... No keyhole... No mechanism... It won't budge.
That wasn't working but he'd seen it open and he'd see it open again if it... Oh! The one above was working...
He let it slide all the way out and found... Nothing... Just sewing tools and a lot of pens... A whole rainbow of pens... What's with this gamut? Oh, the hue manatee… Back on track he noticed the wood under it was not attached
Chat Noir was not one to pass down an opportunity so he just slid his hand around inside of the drawer until he found something to grab from it, surprise, moving the board automatically opened the drawer under it. Gloved hands reached out to pull it all the way and he noticed, astonished that there were folders… About past akuma… The format was simple: Name, origin, power, possessed object, way of defeating it, threat level… What? Why? His confusion was evident, kneeling in front of a secret stack of papers, inside of a room where he was not invited, invading his friend's privacy… Oh, a map! He unfolded it just to find every pinpoint location of attacks… They were all close to their school, a small sticky note asked him "There's a pattern, why here?" This could be useful in triangulating if he could just measure the speed and direction of the butterflies…The problem would be to get Marinette to lend it to him and footage of one of those butterflies. Why did he have to be so awkward? Suddenly a noise coming from downstairs got him back to reality, he'd have to return some other time". He managed to get out without being seen barely by a tail.
There was no time to think about what he'd seen yet, he had to invent a reason for dropping by.
Not even two minutes later, he was back in as his civilian self, asking about homework he didn't know the instructions of since he was at a shoot during class, Nino had been no help at all, failing to explain the details of the assignment. Not a lie, but not completely true either.
He was suspicious enough of the girl to have to cut short their meeting so he could discuss his findings with Plagg.
His room was almost dark when he got back, the soft hues of the sunset playing with the humidity to make it look like a western jail of sorts, he landed in a crouch near his bed and wasted no time in turning back.
As soon as his companion popped out of the ring he began to flail his arms tiredly while walking in circles. "She has a bunch of folders! Folders, Plagg! And a map! It looks like something out of a spy movie! What if she knows who I am?! Would that be good or bad? Why is this so confusing?!" The tiny cat just dove straight for a pillow barely listening. "So what? She's not likely to be akumatized, she's kind enough to keep it a secret, what's your damage? Give me cheese?"
"You just don't get it! This will make it ten times more awkward than it already was, she'll notice immediately that I know something… I don't want to lose a friend… Was she ever my friend in the first place?" Cue the dramatic wall slide. While the mini-god reached into a pillow on the bed to retrieve a piece of Camembert.
"Ha! Add some mystery and you humans start to question everything, if you're so worried talk with her or suck it up, but don't go brooding on my food."
"You're right, I still don't know for certain if she's aware of my identity, I need to talk to her for real this time."
Among the variety of reactions, he expected from the dark-haired girl at his visit, paralyzing terror was not one of them. She looked uncertain, worried, guilty, suspicious, and frozen in place, all at the same time. He needed to break the ice. "Is this a good time for a knock-knock joke?" Lame… But it worked, the line kicked her into motion, opening the window and moving aside to let him enter.
Her focused frown vanished as soon as he was safely standing in front of her. "Chat Noir? What a surprise! I haven't seen you in ages". Now that he was looking for it, he recognized the lie as soon as it left her mouth. "Do you need something? Can I offer you a croissant, I saw the fight in the ladyblog and you were spotted all day after that, you must be starving." Again, she was terrible at it, how did he never notice?
"Look, princess. I like being pampered as much as the next guy but you don't need to fake on my account, I can tell I'm not welcome so I'll just make this quick..." Suddenly his nerves gave out leaving just the draining feeling of the day to surge upon him.
"What? Not welcome? What are you on about? It's true I didn't expect you here today, you surprised me, that's all. But I do want to help, I know you and Ladybug don't get enough gratitude for all you do for Paris… Do you want to lie down for a moment? You don't look that fresh". Ok, that was so honest and so considerate it made him smile instantly.
"Trust me. I'm fresh as the morning breeze… Before we had this awful weather… I think… I'll take you up on that offer… And I'd like that croissant too, if… It's not too la-tte? Oh! I lost track of time, I should have waited until tomorrow to visit."
"You're already here, though, a friend of mine always says one should make the best out of the chances we get… Or something like that. You can take the chaise, I'll be right back"
He was left alone once again to ponder how to breach the subject, if she talked with someone using her purse maybe the room was wired… It had no cameras though, unless they were in the plushies, would he risk it? Right then his main concern was their friendship, maybe he should start with that. Luckily enough, a few of the pictures were back on the wall. He had a great idea.
"I didn't know what you'd like so I brought three kinds of croissants and a mug of… Everything…" At his concerned stare she seemed to realize that the tower of food was not that smart of a move. "Did I go overboard? Ah!" She tripped on the last step but managed to hook her feet to the railing of the stairs just in time to save face… Then, the dishes paid their respect to Newton's laws. Chat Noir's reflexes only managed to save the baked goods before letting them down and rushing to put his friend back on her feet.
"Well, princess. You could say you're literally falling for me. That'd be a first…" Once she was safe, he directed his gaze towards the other side of the room. Seeing a good chance to get his point across, he continued. "I'm still pretty hungry, though. Those look good, can I eat now? I meant! I'll help you clean up? By the way, nice decor. Is that Adrien Agreste on your wall?"
