It's night time in the city, there are not many civilians traversing the streets but every now and then a car can be seen fading in and out of the lights that outline the nearby bridge. Two teenagers sit on the roof of the tallest building in the area, dressed up in some unfortunately gaudy animal-themed get up. They are pretty comfortable never the less, maybe it's the feeling of being on top of the world that anyone with the ability to get that high would be able to enjoy, maybe it's the anonymity and the knowledge that no one knows they are up there, it may be the company of someone you trust enough to face endless danger with, but certainly, they wouldn't say no to a fresh summer breeze or an ice cream if someone offered... It's just too hot to parkour all the way home.
Suddenly, their conversation comes to a halt, the girl has made a question which was met with an astonished stare and a slacked jaw.
"Wait a second." He requests between splutters. He rises to his feet and starts idly messing with his hair while frowning at nothing in particular. Ladybug sits where he left her, looking strangely at him. She's not sure why he's suddenly so alarmed but she knows from experience that Chat Noir is a quirky guy and she is not afraid of indulging him every now and then. Chat Noir's sudden epiphany remains a mystery to her but - regardless of what she's privy to - he's comparing everything he's said and done with everything Marinette has said and done and with the new information he's just received from Ladybug.
"Okay then..?" Mumbles Ladybug, mostly to herself.
If she is unaware of his secret identity but acts friendly towards him while she still keeps tabs on Ladybug and even seems on speaking terms with her then... He's not sure what that means but what he is sure of is that he's most likely made a mistake somehow regarding his previous assumptions. He turns towards Ladybug, eyes big and curious.
"Why do you think he's doing that?"
"Uh... Why?" She asks, frowning a little, Chat asking for clarification instead of taking her word at face value is not something she's used to. She stands up and walks over to his position. "I heard him talking with a very shady man through a pocket of his shirt I'm sure there's a communication device there." Ladybug drags even closer to whisper in his ear as if anyone would eavesdrop on them perched on a rooftop high above everyone's heads. "Apparently he's been buying truckloads - entire trucks! - of cheese for this person. And they didn't sound like the kind of nice guys one simply does favors for, he sounded very rude. I think there might be drugs inside the cheese."
Chat Noir blinked quickly a few times in confusion but said confusion quickly gave way to a grin of complete amusement, it's not every day that he can cat-ch Ladybug in a hilarious mix-up. He really wants to joke around on the matter, but he is also aware that playing along could end in tragedy, his identity could easily end up being discovered if he didn't handle the situation correctly.
He needed some time to think about what he'd do to avoid her attention as his civilian self. Luckily for him, he had the perfect distraction that might also serve to clarify a few things.
"I've seen Marinette following him around fur a few weeks now. I might be wrong but my best guess is that she's working for some kind of intelligence agency do you think that she suspects Adrien as well?"
Ladybug was taken aback both by the stupidity of the first deduction and by the brilliance of the second, she flickered between expressions as a sudden array of facts rushed into her mind each one more shocking than the one before. First of all, Chat had noticed that she's been following Adrien for a while; next on the line, maybe he was trying to let her know that he knew about whatever he had been speaking about concerning Marinette instead of her secret identity; and for the last part, he most certainly didn't know her secret identity as she had thought. She'd have to improvise to convince him that he's right- or wrong- or whatever results in the most effective way of taking away his attention from her civilian self. Maybe she should play along with the agent thing?
"Ah! Yes! That's..." A frustrated sigh leaves her lips at that point, she rubs at the bridge of her nose, unable to keep such an outrageous charade. "No, I'm sorry Chat Noir I can't lie to you, your idea is just so ridiculous! How could sweet Marinette, the clumsy girl that can't even keep track of her daily activities even do something like that? She is not an agent, she is barely a baker- and maybe a promising fashion designer - but let's be honest, none of those skills would aid on something as subtle as being a spy- Is that what you're saying, right? That she might be a spy?"
"Yeah, more or less. And I know it sounds wild but I've been noticing a few things that she does that seem way out of character, let's say (and for the record, I'm not the smartest in the bunch but I have made some kind of good deduction here), when she does something weirdly athletic and then tries to make sure no one was watching, or when she's leading her classmates into a scheme to escape an akuma, or when she's trying to sneak in or out of somewhere."
Ladybug had to think quick, if he had been observing her as closely as she thinks he did he probably saw her doing a few incongruent things like running towards akuma attacks or making flimsy excuses or who knows what else. She's got an idea that might work.
"Uh. You see, she's been working for me since the first time we dealt with the Evillustrator! I didn't tell you because you would treat her differently! A-a-and we need to keep our distance from civilians or they'll end up being targeted by Hawkmoth, but that no longer applies because her school is already a regular target! Plus, she learns quickly and no one's really bothered when she's acting weird because she's so awkward she's almost always acting weird for no reason.
"Also, she usually finds herself around akumas either because she likes to calm people down or because she is friends or acquaintances with a lot of people, some of them not too aware of what they do to other people- eh hehe... That's all, no big mystery here!" She might have repeated herself a bit at the end but she has a secret weapon (Chat Noir's desire for approval) "I'm actually impressed, you don't usually put so much thought into what's going on behind the scenes. Good work, kitty."
"Oh, you really think so?! I've been chasing this lead for days, I wasn't sure how to confront her." Chat Noir is pretty much sold, he feels silly but that's nothing new, more importantly, he knows what he can do now to cover for himself, it's so simple it's funny that it didn't occur to him before now. "She's not working for the government, then?"
"Not at all." Says Ladybug, relieved that her plan was a success.
"Not a spy, uh? I'm glad." They share a comfortable silence. Chat Noir goes back to sitting with Ladybug. A few more cars go through the bridge before any of them decide to continue talking.
"So, about the Adrien thing. Are you going to help me out? It's a sensitive topic and I really need some advice." She says, softly.
"As much as I'd like to help you. There is nothing to help you with." He answers, voice mirthful. "You know this whole thing could have been avoided if we communicated more openly. If you were so worried you could have come to me sooner don't mew think?"
"What..? I have no idea what you're saying but I do agree that we need to work more in our communication. Sometimes it's easy to forget we don't know each other all that well because it feels like we've known each other for so long. I think it's part of trusting someone to keep you safe from an invisible unbeatable opponent."
"Yeah, I know." He answers, getting more amused by the second. "I'll make so much fun of you for this, you have no idea. You don't even know how hilarious it is knowing what you don't and knowing how much you missed the obvious."
"What, why?!"
At that point Chat Noir can't keep preventing himself from cackling, he takes a deep breath before continuing or else he's just going to lose his composure before he even gets to share the joke.
"You see, Adrien is not dealing with drugs, he's really buying cheese! For me!"
"What?!"
"It's because my kwami is a little spoiled brat about the food he eats, he only eats Camembert. But, you know, he eats like a ton of Camembert! And that disgusting stuff is very expensive! I once mentioned my dire plight to Adrien, and he offered his monetary support.
"Long story short, he decided he wanted to help but he also didn't have all that much spare time to go to the grocery store himself whenever I needed cheese so he just set a storage room for me and he buys in bulk as soon as we're running out of stock. You probably heard him talk with my kwami, he likes to try and trick him into buying some fancy new samples from the cheese magazine so he pretends he's my mentor or something." The last part was as fake as his tail but what Ladybug doesn't know won't hurt her.
"Hold on, he knows about your kwami?!" She snaps to attention, ready to scold him.
"Well, he doesn't know it's a kwami. As far as he knows, it's a stuffed toy with a microphone inside. He thinks it's awesome and goes along well with my magical girl aesthetic."
"If that's so I guess there's no problem..." Once what he's said actually registers, Ladybug has to make a double-take. Then she gives him a smug grin. "Adrien thinks you're a magical girl? Do we need to change your costume for a dress? We should ask Marinette, she'd be thrilled to make you one!"
"Why not? It'd be the cat's pajamas- I can rock a dress and high heels; don't ever doubt my showmanship, my lady!"
"Oh, kitty. Who would dare to even dream of doubting it?"
"That's an easy one! How about Hawkmoth?"
"Pfft- He doesn't count, he's obviously a hater." Ladybug answers with fake severity, they both look at each other intensely for a moment before bursting into uncontrollable laughter. "Now I don't even remember haha h-h-how I came to that conclusion about Adrien, it seemed so evident back then! As if Adrien could ever do anything edgier than escaping his house for a few hours. Drugs? That idea is so silly!"
"Hey! Hahahaha, don't be mean! He's doing his best!" He suddenly loses his balance from shaking with another chortle, Ladybug keeps him in place with a firm hand on his shoulder. Slowly, their laughter turns into airless chuckles and teary eyes.
"He can't even say a bad word without looking like a kicked puppy, can you imagine him trying to do something illegal?! Ah-haha..."
Their shared moment of glee comes to a halt, the unbearable warmth of the night made all the worse from moving around so much. Now they're not only too hot to run home, they're also covered in sweat and their face muscles ache from the strain. They slump forward, tiredly. A few minutes pass by when Chat notices something in the distance.
"Hold on, isn't that the guy that turned into the anti-ice-cream Akuma from a few days ago?"
"It sure does seem so and he's selling popsicles!"
"Last one to get there has to eat whatever the other chooses!"
"You're on!"
