"I just don't know what to do guys!"

Tweek groaned as he rested his head back on Kenny McCormick's chest, which he'd been using as a body pillow for the better part of an afternoon.

"Awww… our poor sweet little crackhead," Kenny soothed, planting an obnoxiously loud kiss into the wild dandelion fluff that was Tweek's hair. "You've had a rough week."

"He sure has," chimed Butters as he painted Tweek's toenails an eye-gouging shade of holographic Barbie apocalypse pink.

The boys were curled up together on Butters' racecar bed. The lights in Butters' bedroom were dimmed to near porn store levels. Soothing scented candles had been lit and stationed at tasteful intervals around the room. A low, pleasing hipster song filled the air. "New Slang" by The Shins.

"I ain't ticklin' ya am I?"

"No Butters." Kenny had his legs spread apart to accommodate the boy and was busy toying with Tweek's belly beneath his shirt as Butters worked. "Seriously guys… what should I do? I'm literally losing sleep over this. Ever since we kissed, I've been a wreck."

Kenny chuckled. "More so than usual, you mean?"

Tweek craned his neck back and blew a puff of air up into Kenny's nostrils. The older boy chuckled, planting a quick kiss on Tweek's forehead. "Sorry, sorry. But seriously though… this means something dude. There isn't a straight guy on this planet who would pull his best friend into a broom closet and offer him a sloppy wet makeout session just out of the kindness of his heart."

"Not unless he secretly craves cock, o'course."

"Butters!" Kenny chided. "Language."

"Sorry cupcake," said the boy at Tweek's feet, not bothering to glance up as he carefully painted Tweek's big toe, working slowly so as to avoid the cuticle.

"He says he's straight." Tweek groaned, allowing his head to loll against Kenny's throat.

"Dude… at this point, I think it's pretty safe to say that Craig's about as straight as a spiral staircase leading up into Godzilla's asshole. Craig is so fucking deep in the closet he's sitting on Christmas presents. Which are probably dildos. For him. Because he's fucking gay."

"I don't know, Ken. It's like…" Tweek gestured his arms into the open air. "I thought my crush on him was bad before. But now… god, it's all I can think about!"

"Was he a good kisser?" asked Butters, fanning Tweek's foot with a paper fan he kept on him at all times for whenever he got hot or needed to be dramatic.

"He's a very good kisser."

"Was he big?"

"I… don't know. I don't think he was hard."

Kenny pondered, combing his fingers through an imaginary Pai Mei beard. "He's got big hands. When we're in gym class together, he palms that fucking basketball. God I bet his cock looks like an enchanted totem pole perched at the end of a mysterious forest."

"Kenny!"

"Oooh! Speaking of the boys' locker room, guess who's a beast? Fucking Token Black. That thing looks like a Sith lightsaber. Just… dark and heavy. And intimidating."

"You'd still try though," Butters muttered, removing the cotton balls from between Tweek's toes.

"Damn right I would! Bragging rights baby!"

By this point, Tweek had covered his face with his hands. "Guys," he sighed.

"Sorry beautiful. Look… you just need to wait it out. I promise that wasn't the last swing you'll ever get at Craig Tucker. I'm willing to bet Butters' life on it."

"Gff… fine." Tweek heaved, staring up at the ceiling, looking defeated. "But what am I supposed to do while I wait, huh? I can't sleep. I can't concentrate in school. And my parents are starting to wonder why I've been washing my body pillow so much."

Had Tweek not been glancing down at just that moment, he might have missed the laden glance Butters shot to his boyfriend. He thought he had imagined it… until he felt Kenny's long, strong arms tightening affectionately around him.

"Well… Tweek… that's actually something we've been meaning to talk to you about."

Twisting around, Tweek craned his neck to look up into Kenny's steely blue eyes. And that's when it finally occurred to him that there was mischief afoot. The look in Kenny's smiling gaze spoke volumes.

"Butters and me have been talking it over, and… well, it just breaks our heart to see our favorite little cuddle buddy in such a pitiful state."

"It really does!" chirped Butters earnestly.

"Pretty soon your grades are gonna suffer. And your parents' water bill is gonna keep going up."

"Water is expensive!"

"It sure is Buttercup. As your homo homies, we can't allow you to continue on in such a ragged state. So… we were wondering… if… you would maybe be interested in letting us help you out."

Tweek's eyes were round with surprise. "Oh… my… god!"

"Now now…" Kenny pressed a finger to his lips, shushing him. "Just hear me out. You're super pent up, right?"

"Kenny-"

"AND… Butters and I are in a committed polyamorous relationship, as you may recall from both of us never shutting the fuck up about it." Here, Kenny's voice turned official. "Acts of snoo-snoo between consenting friends is not only mutually beneficial to all parties involved, it can also act as a sort of team-building exercise and boost camaraderie."

"And it's really, really fun!"

"That too."

Tweek's cheeks were burning. "Guys… that's… really sweet. I guess. But… oh my god! You two are like my brothers!" His throat felt bone dry. "I just… I can't imagine us doing that."

"Woah! Slow down there. No one ever said we had to go all the way. What sort of sluts do you take us for? All we're offering is a chance for you to let out some of that pent up horniness in a safe and non-judgemental environment. We would only go as far as you felt comfortable. Heck, you could even close your eyes and picture Mr. Totem Pole if ya really wanted to. Whatever helps."

Tweek's eyebrows rose to form a peak. All this time, he'd always just used his pillow. He wondered what it would be like if he had an actual body… or two… to project his fantasies on.

Though Tweek hated to admit it, Kenny was sort of attractive. He had gorgeous steely blue eyes, sunkissed skin and a short crop of shaggy wheat-colored hair that Tweek had always secretly wanted to run his fingers through.

Butters wasn't too bad either. Granted, he wasn't necessarily Tweek's type. But there was certainly a lot in the boy's babyish face and feminine hips that Tweek could, under the right conditions, grow quite fond of.

Tweek's stomach turned over as he realized he was actually considering it.

Studying the consternation in the boy's face, Kenny's eyes lit up. He squeezed Tweek from behind, leaning in to gently nuzzle his lips behind his ear, delighting to feel Tweek shudder. "It's fine if you don't wanna. Like I said, we're not here to judge. But… just so you know… Butters and I have been wanting to ask you for a while now. You're, uuh… you're kind of our favorite."

It was as if the gravity had been turned up. The room was warm and dim, the bodies surrounding him were firm and inviting, and Amos Lee's rendition of "Arms of a Woman" had just started up on Butters' iPod dock. Tweek suddenly felt heavy and limp in Kenny's arms.

Did he dare?

It was either try this or weather who knows how many weeks without sleep. Tweek chewed his bottom lip. "...maybe…"

Grinning, Kenny kissed the nape of Tweek's neck. "Maybe what?"

"M-maybe… if we… go slow."

Tweek cringed as he heard the words leave his mouth. God… what was wrong with him?!

With eyes screwed resolutely shut, Tweek bit his lip as calloused fingers began to roam his skin. They slipped back underneath his shirt, working delicately over his belly paunch as a second pair walked gingerly along Tweek's inner thigh, sending a tingle jolting up his spine.

"Gfff!"

"Shhh… just relax." The buttons on Tweek's shirt were being popped one by one. His chest emerged naked and free into the warm room air as a weight settled against him on the bed.

Just imagine it's Craig, Tweek chided himself. Just imagine it's Craig…

"If you wanna stop, just say the word and we'll stop."

Then calloused fingers were tilting his chin up and to the side. Kenny's lips were suddenly pressed against his.

Tweek fought to stifle the shiver racing up his spine as their lips worked together. He soon found himself melting into the boy's kiss, allowing his mouth to be plied open and massaged.

All too late, Tweek remembered that he was kissing Kenny while Kenny's boyfriend was in the room watching them. His eyes shot open wide. Sure enough, Butters was watching them go at it, chewing his bottom lip, a look of naked excitement in his bright blue eyes.

"Jus' ignore me," Butters purred as he took up residence between Tweek's legs.

Tweek watched on in amazement as Butters brought his face in close, nuzzling his forehead against Tweek's bare chest. A kittenish pink tongue emerged from the boy's mouth, tracing around the circumference of one of Tweek's nipples. Had Kenny not been holding him, Tweek might've shuddered himself right off the bed. Butters' small, manicured hands gently massaged his thighs as he took the little pink nub of flesh into his mouth, suckling gently as he looked up at Tweek with large, innocent eyes.

This is insane, screamed Tweek's brain as he was worked upon by two pairs of lips. His chest heaved into Butters' kisses as Kenny slipped his tongue into his mouth. Dear god… it felt like he was melting! It took every ounce of his energy just to lift one leaden arm to grip the scruff of Kenny's neckpulling him down against him.

Just as Tweek was starting to get into it, Kenny broke their kiss. "Sorry," he grinned, stroking his fingers along Tweek's arms, gently easing his shirt the rest of the way down the boy's slender arms. "That was bugging me. And while we're at it…" Swatting Tweek out of his lap for a moment, Kenny crossed his arms over his abdomen to peel off his muscle shirt, adding it to the growing pile of discarded clothes.

"You okay?"

Tweek had tufts of his own hair gathered up in his fingers and was hyperventilating in time to the chords of Justin Rutledge's "Kapuskasing Coffee".

"I just… I can't believe we're doing this!"

Butters perked up with concern. "Do you wanna stop?"

"N-no! Just… fuck! How are we gonna hang out after we've done all this? It's gonna be so weird!"

Gently disentangling the boy's fingers from his unruly mane, Butters held Tweek's hand aloft, planting an affectionate kiss into his palm. "It won't get weird. Pinkie promise. Me and Kenny do this sort of stuff all the time."

"Yeah dude. We're just three bros hanging out. But instead of having fun playing video games, we're having fun with eachother. Nothing intrinsically weird about that, is there?"

Tweek sighed. "N-no."

"Do you wanna keep going?"

"...yes."


Fingers clawing at the bedsheets. Squirming. Whimpering.

Tweek was sandwiched between two boys on an impossibly narrow bed. Both had their hands on him. Both had their lips on his.

If you've never been at the center of a three-way makeout session, it's every bit as intense as it is disorienting. Just as Tweek would grow comfortable with kissing one, the other would wrench him free and take his place.

It wasn't helping his blood pressure that Kenny was massaging his chest as they made out, or that Butters had his hand down his pants.

Fuck! His brain screamed over and over. Fuck fuck fucking FUCK!

Tweek couldn't even pretend it was Craig kissing him. Kenny was far too domineering and Butters smelled too much like sugary perfume for the fantasy to take hold in his feverish mind.

Not that these were bad things, mind you. As of just a few days ago, Tweek had discovered that he actually liked taking a more submissive role. And Butters was so soft and warm it was like getting frisky with a microwaved Peep.

God, their hands just went everywhere! Without even looking, Tweek knew that his sensitive skin was red and blotchy from all the touching. Kenny was massaging one of Tweek's tender nipples as Tweek and Butters were going at it like teens in the back of a father's borrowed station wagon in the 50's. Tweek whimpered into the boy's soft kiss as sweat beaded up on his forehead.

How long had they been doing this? Thirty minutes? An hour? Maybe more? The concept of time had completely passed them by.

Tweek gripped the back of Kenny's head with one hand and palmed the gentle curve of Butters' ass with the other. He could feel the boys' heartbeats as they rested against his own. He let out a squeak against Kenny's lips as Butters cradled his balls through his underwear.

Oh, there was no way he was getting out of this bedroom with his dignity intact. After such a protracted teasing marathon, Tweek was one well-timed kiss, touch or fondle away from plastering the front of his underwear. He was practically rutting into Butters' hand.

"You, uuh… seem like you're getting close," said Kenny, having apparently noticed.

Tweek gurgled incoherently as Kenny peppered his temple with kisses. "We could help ya out with that. I know Butters has wanted swallow your cock for a while now. And truth be told, I kinda wanna watch him do it."

All of Tweek's senses were heightened to a frightening degree. The warm bedroom air hitting his skin was driving him wild.

They had gone way, WAY too far.

"I don't… ggf!" Butters still had a little hammy mitt curled around Tweek's balls and was squeezing them gently through his underwear. "I… kinda… want my first time to be with Craig. If it ever comes to that."

He could see the disappointment registering in their eyes. But ever the professional, Kenny was the first to recover. "No problem kitten. Just tell us what you want."

Fuck it. He was already well past the point of no return. Unable to put his jumble of thoughts into coherent words, Tweek simply grabbed Butters' wrist and tugged him up against him.

"Hey!"

Wasting no time, Tweek dove on the boy's sweet lips, probing his tongue into the boy's eager mouth. Rooting around beside him, Tweek found the scruff of Kenny's neck and brought him down too, having to wrench himself free of Butters' lips to kiss his boyfriend.

"Roll over," Kenny growled in his ear.

Blinking, Tweek did as he was told, and with the guidance of Kenny's hands was rolled over on top of Butters, who greeted him with open arms. Nestled evenly between the boy's legs, Tweek let out a startled gasp as he felt Kenny ease himself down over his back. He was being sandwiched again, pinned between two warm, churning bodies smelling of sugar and pepper and sweat.

The kissing. Oh god - the kissing! It was way too much stimulation for one fidgety adolescent boy to handle. Butters had Tweek's face gripped between his manicured hands and was kissing him softly. When Tweek needed to come up for breath, Kenny took his place. Tweek watched in awe as the two boys made out with surprising verve. Seeing Kenny tug on Butters' bottom lip with his teeth was stirring something primal deep within him.

Pinning Tweek down against his boyfriend, Kenny began to grind himself against the twitchy blonde's upturned rear. Even through four layers of clothing, Tweek could tell that Kenny was hard as a drywall screw and just as eager to penetrate something. Each successive grind down the furrow between his cheeks sent lightning through him and made Tweek's toes grip the crumpled bed sheets between Butters' spread legs. His eyes went out of focus as Butters returned his little kittenish tongue to his mouth, kneading their lips together with surprising finesse.

God, it was right around the corner now - ready at any moment to jump out and catch him by surprise. Butters was coiled around him, kissing him with wild abandon as Kenny hotdogged the tent in his pants between his cheeks. Tweek could feel it starting to stir deep inside him - the start of the wave.

"Guys," Tweek whimpered. "Guys! I… I think I'm gonna…"

In a flash, Butters reached down and tugged up their shirts. Tweek felt a finger in the waistline of his pants, hiking them down along the front. Which proved to be perfect timing.

"Oh… fuck… uggh!"

Tweek had hoped that it wasn't going to be one of his super gushy orgasms that went everywhere. But of course it was. After all this, how could it not be?

The shame had already begun to set in before Tweek finished painting Butters' belly and chest with cum. Kenny was nibbling the scruff of his neck from behind, growling encouragements into his ear as Tweek's limbs locked out like some kind of nightmarish table. Meanwhile, the fifth bar of Elliott Smith's "Everything's Okay" was purring out though the speakers with an irony so thick and rich you could bottle it and sell it as pancake syrup.