Chapter 14: Discussions

Disclaimer: I own exactly -0% of Marvel. -0 doesn't even exist that's how much I don't own it.

Secondary Warning: Not to complain or nothing, but being 100% alone in a foreign place kinda sucks. It's also super awesome at the same time, though. I haven't physically spoken to another human in roughly five days. My voice sounds funny now, ha.I'm pretty sure I'm going marginally insane, but that's just a theory. Anyway, thank y'all for continuing to read the nonsense I write. I really appreciate it. Also like all of this chapter is dialogue between two people and thinking up different 'said' synonyms every two seconds just couldn't be a thing, I'm sorry. I might fix it later.


"Why would I want to talk to you about anything?" Loki scoffs at me. "You're nothing more than an ant. I am a god! Even your codename is 'Reject'. I find that pretty telling about your worth, don't you?"

"Okay, first of all, I named myself that, moron. I have a weird sense of humor and it amuses me. Secondly, why wouldn't you want to talk to me? It's not like you have many options. Besides, I know you aren't gonna tell me what you're planning or anything like that. I am more interested in your past than in your schemes," I reply calmly despite the insult.

"Even when my 'schemes' threaten the fate of your world?" Loki demands.

"Yeup."

"Why?"

"I'm just pretty sure we can beat you."

"WHAT?!"

"Keep your socks on, dang. Wait, do Asgardians even wear socks? Do you guys have socks? If not, you know, I knit, so I could totes knit you a pair. Or I could teach you to knit your own pair. Don't give me any of that macho crap about knitting being for old ladies, though. Knitting originated as a male only hobby, just like heels were originally worn by men to display statis. Then women started wearing them and the dudes threw a hissy fit the size of Russia and disavowed them as 'silly impractical women's shoes'. You know a similar thing happened with the color pink if I recall correctly. It used to be a masculine color until, guess who? I'll give you a hint, he is one of the evilest humans to ever exist and he basically ruined everything for the entire world. That's right, Hitler. That rat bastard made gay men wear a pink symbol, just like the Jews were forced to wear yellow ones, on their chests so they could be told apart from the general population. Which is just so wrong, don't even get me started on that. But, yeah, anyway, then everyone freaked the fuck out and changed it so pink was feminine and blue was masculine. It's so stupid though cause-"

"Stop your incessant babbling!"

"Oops, did I say all that out loud? Sorry, got on a couple wrong trains. It happens on occasion."

"You continue to make no sense."

"Who wants to make sense. It's so boring."

"Are you mad?"

"Yes, I'm completely bonkers, but I'll tell you a secret, all the best people are. And considering how far you're leaning past the line between sanity land and crazyville, I guess that means you're a best people too. I think we might have to rewrite that rule for you, though."

"What are you babbling on about now?"

"Do you not have books in Asgard? Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll, ringing any bells? No? Seriously? Come on, he's one of the greats. He's up there with like Charles Dickens, Agatha Christie, Edgar Allan Poe, and J.K. Rowling for Pete's sake. Fun fact about Lewis Carroll, his real name was Charles Lutwidge Dodgson and he was a mathematician, logician, photographer, and Anglican deacon as well as a writer. Intense repertoire, if I do say so myself."

"It may surprise you, but Asgard has little use for your simple Midgardian attempts at literature."

"Why you gotta be like that?"

"Be like what?"

"So hateful and demeaning towards us 'Midgardians'? What exactly makes you so much better than us?"

"There is no comparison. Humans are the weakest and most pitiful excuses of lifeforms in the known words."

"You're kidding me, right?"

"N-"

"I'll stop you right there. The next words out of your mouth better be an apology or I will personally kick your Asgardian ass."

"I will not apologize for speaking the truth. Your threat is no more than just words. You lack the will or capability to hurt me, you fool."

"Okay, let's say you're right and I neither want to nor can hurt you. So what? I know a couple people who I know can. Why don't I just ask them to?"

"You truly are pathetic. After all that I've done and you won't do more than threaten to hurt me?"

"Unlike some people, I don't think that hurting more people with soothe my own pain."

"What are you implying, girl?"

"Exactly what you think I am. That's what you're doing, isn't it? I've been there, the whole seeking revenge thing. I can only assume that's what you're doing based on how you went out of your way to attack the planet under Thor's protection. You obviously wanted to either hurt him or make him show up or both. So which is it? Did you miss big brother Thor or are you angry with him and want him to suffer?"

"This has nothing to do with my brother! I seek to rule!"

"Pfft! That ain't gonna fool me. I grew up with six siblings and you are pulling a classic sibling move."

"And what's that, pray tell?"

"It's actually a nice combo of 'this family is so unfair so I'm running away' and 'you hurt my feelings so I'm gonna break your toys'. Seriously, are you five?"

"Do. Not. Disrespect. Me."

"Kinda too late for that, but can you really disrespect someone you never respected?"

"You insolent-"

"-little fool. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got it the first time."

"You dare to interrupt-"

"Yeup. It's not like it's the first time, dude."

"Are you aware that you're turning purple, Loki?"

"Dude, take a deep breath before you pass out."

"Take a chill pill, honestly, you are such a drama queen."

"Fine, drama king. Will you start breathing again now?"

"There we go. Deep breaths. Are we feeling better now?"

"No. You're still here."

"Touche. But, hey, speaking of turning different colors, why are your eyes blue?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, in all the Norse mythology I've read you are described as having green eyes. However, your eyes are most definitely blue right now."

"Really? The silent treatment again? Look, I just wanna know if ancient people are color blind or if you purposely changed their color. I don't see why that merits silence."

"Seriously?! Oh, come on!"


~Meanwhile~

"At this rate, we might not even need to send Romanoff in. Greene is doing a great job of getting him to talk," Hill comments as she and Fury listen to the super soldier and god's conversation in the main control room.

"No, we'll have to send Romanoff in after Loki's had a break from this. Send her in about half an hour after Greene leaves," Fury responds as he watches Eve's frustration grow as Loki continues to remain silent.

"Are you sure, sir? Greene is doing a surprisingly good job at manipulating information out of Loki," Hill adds.

"She's not manipulating him, Hill. She's just being herself and talking to him like she would almost anyone. She's always full of questions for people. She's indulging her own curiosity not ours," Fury divulges. "She won't get the answers we need like Romanoff will."

"Yes, sir," Hill nods.

Fury smiles at the screen as Eve groans in frustration at the god's behavior.


"Okay fine, don't answer the stupid question," I bite out.

"I wasn't planning to."

"Haha, you're hilarious. Next question," at which point I ignore his groan of apprehension, "are you okay?"

"What?"

"Are you okay? You aren't looking so hot. You have dark circles under your eyes, glassy eyes, are ever so slightly twitchy, and it looks like you've lost some weight. Those symptoms can mean a lot of junk. Do Asgardians even get sick? Cause it looks like you are. Either that or, now please don't get offended by this, it looks like you're a junky going through withdrawals and desperately in need of a hit."

"You would dare-"

"I think we've established that I do dare. How many times we gonna go through this? Besides, I said to not get offended. I'm just making an observation."

"Leave."

"Nah."

"Leave."

"I don't wanna and you can't make me."

"Aren't you supposed to be finding someone?"

"Oh shit!"

"Now will you leave?"

"Steve's a big boy, he can take care of himself."

I grin as he groans again.

"Oh, come on, I'm not that bad."

"Yes, you are."

"Nuh huh."

"So, is it true you gave birth to an eight legged horse?"

"LEAVE!"

"Nahhh. This is way too much fun."

SUPER MEGA ULTRA DEATH GLARE OF ULTIMATE PAINFUL DEATH!

Hahahahahahahahahaha…. Man he's way too easy to mess with.

"Take it down a notch, Sir Grumpypants, and answer my question."

*glare intensifies further*