Chapter 18: The Return of the Author

Disclaimer: I live. I breath. I don't own Marvel.

Secondary Warning: *nervous laughter* So hi guys…. How are you? Me? I'm good… So yeah I died on y'all and I've extraordinarily sorry. School, work, and a bunch of other responsibilities piled up and I got too busy to write for fun and I'm just so sorry. Eve hasn't been far from my mind tho and my life is a bit more under control now so I have returned to you, my lovelies. So here we go again!


Drama, drama, and more drama. Everyone on this ship needs to take the largest dose of chill pills possible. Will I ever be free to nap?!

"Sorry, the computer was moving a bit slow for me," Steve informs Tony before turning back to Fury. I quickly move so I'm standing beside Steve and can see the entire room including both doors. Just in case.

"Rogers, we gathered everything related to the Tesseract," Fury starts explaining while walking towards Steve. "This does not mean we're making…," he continues only for Tony to interrupt him.

"I'm sorry, Nick. What were you lying?" Tony asks as he jumps off the countertop and turns his computer towards the rest of us to show S.H.I.E.L.D.'s weapon plans. Oh no. Please no.

"I was wrong, Director," Steve says in that strange stony voice he's been using so often within the last couple hours, "The world hasn't changed a bit." At this point Thor and Natasha walk in to join the fray. Huzzah. I have a feeling this is about to spiral out of control.

Natasha has her eyes absolutely trained on Bruce.

"Did you know about this?" Bruce demands motioning his glasses towards the screen and meeting her eyes angrily. Did something happen between them?

"You want to think about removing yourself from this environment, Doctor?" Natasha asks as she steps forward from behind Thor.

"I was in Calcutta," the doctor laughs sardonically. "I was pretty well removed."

"Loki is manipulating you," Romanoff informs him while she continues to move towards him. Wait, what? Why Bruce specifically?

"And you've been doing what, exactly?" Asks Banner with a note of bitterness. Alright that's fair.

"You didn't come here because I batted my eyelashes at you," Natasha defends herself. Also probable true.

"Yes, and I'm not leaving because suddenly you get a little twitchy," Bruce fires back at her before moving the screen to face her. "I'd like to know why S.H.I.E.L.D. is using the Tesseract to build weapons of mass destruction," he continues with more motions of his glasses at the screen. Yeah, why guys?

"Because of him," admits a glaring Fury while pointing directly at Thor. Thor? What did Thor do?

"Me?" questions a confused Thor who up until this point at been standing speechlessly observing like me.

"Last year, Earth had a visitor from another planet who had a grudge match that leveled a small town," Fury tells us. "We learned that not only are we not alone, but we are hopelessly, hilariously, outgunned."

"My people want nothing but peace with your planet," Thor claims in Asgard's defense. Are we gonna ignore the crazy Asgardian guy in the glass cage down the hall when it comes to that statement?

"But you're not the only people out there, are you?" rebuts Fury. "And you're not the only threat. The world's filling up with people who can't be matched, that can't be controlled." Called it. Freaking called it. Fury and his control complex strike again.

"Like you controlled the Cube?" Steve adds in. Oh Steve is catching on.

"Your work with the Tesseract is what drew Loki to it, and his allies," Thor argues while taking a large step closer to Fury. "It is a signal to all the realms that the Earth is ready for a higher form of war."

"A higher form?" repeats an incredulous Steve. Yeah, um, what does that even mean?

"You forced our hand," insists Fury. "We had to come up with something."

"A nuclear deterrent?" Tony scoffs. "Cause that always calms everything right down." Well you got him there.

"Remind me again how you made your fortune, Stark," Fury replies easily. Oh wow, low blow, man.

"I'm sure if he still made weapons, Stark would be neck deep…" Steve starts. No not Steve too.

"Hold on," interjects Tony. "How is this now about me?"

"I'm sorry, isn't everything?" Cap jabs back at him. Why is Steve so angry with Tony?

"I thought humans were more evolved than this," Thor says to Fury. Ouch. Great now everyone is starting to talk over one another.

"Excuse me, did we come to your planet and blow stuff up?" asks Fury in return. Fair point, but again wasn't that technically Loki? Thor did save the people in the town and stuff.

"You treat your champions with mistrust," fires back Thor. Ha! Take that Fury.

"Are you boys really that naive?" retorts Natasha. "S.H.I.E.L.D. monitors potential threats." And we're the threats? Really?!

"Captain America's on the threat watch?" Banner marvels.

"We all are," Romanoff divulges.

"Wait, you're on that list?" cuts in Stark to Steve. "Are you above or below angry bees?"

"Stark, so help me God, if you make one more wisecrack.." Steve starts to threaten Tony.

"Threat!" hollers Tony. "Verbal threat. I feel threatened."

"Show some respect," demands Steve.

"Respect what?" replies Stark.

The all their voices just start melting all together in my head. And is the room spinning or is that just me? My head is going to actually burst if they keep this up.

"You speak of control yet you court chaos," Thor's voice rings out with sudden clarity.

"That's his M.O., isn't it?" responds Banner gaining the attention of the entire room. "I mean, what are we, a team? No, we are a chemical mixture that makes chaos. We're a time bomb."

"You need to step away," demands Fury.

"Why shouldn't the guy let off a little steam?" questions Tony while dropping a hand on Steve's shoulder.

"You know damn well why," Steve shouts at him while hitting his hand off him. "Back off!"

"Oh, I'm starting to want you to make me," draws Stark.

"Yeah," Steve says while circling Tony and then stepping directly into his personal space, "Big man in a suit of armor. Take that off, what are you?"

"Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist," Tony effortlessly comes back with. I notice Nat tilt her head at that being an accurate description of his character out of the corner of my eye.

"I know guys with none of that worth ten of you," Steve practically snaps. Oh dear sweet ice cream sundaes, babies please stop this is getting out of hand. I want to say something, but what? Is there anything I can really say at this point?

"I've seen the footage," Steve continues. "The only thing you really fight for is yourself. You're not the guy to make the sacrifice play, to lay down on the wire and let the other guy crawl over you."

"I think I would just cut the wire," retorts Tony. A quick look is exchanged among those gathered.

"Always a way out. You know you may not be a threat, but you better stop pretending to be a hero," Steve announces. Steve, darling, how could you say something like that?

"A hero? Like you?" demands Tony. "You're a laboratory experiment, Rogers. Everything special about you came out of a bottle." This time I can't hold back my gasp of utter shock at these two. Thor and Bruce send immediately look over at me with looks of sympathy. Steve can only manage to spare me a barest of glances before he focuses back on Tony.

"Put on the suit. Let's go a few rounds," Steve dares Tony. Thor just starts laughing at them.

You people are so petty… and tiny," he laughs and I can't tell if he is being serious or just trying to diffuse the tension before it actually explodes, but either way Steve and Tony are no longer having an epic stare down so I am thankful.

"Yeah, this is a team," Banner says mockingly.

"Agent Romanoff, would you escort Dr. Banner back to his…," Fury begins to suggest.

"Where?" inquires Bruce before Fury can finish his sentence. "You rented my room."

"The cell was just in case.." Fury again tries to explain before Banner interrupts him again.

"In case you needed to kill me. But you can't. I know, I tried," Bruce divulges.

"Oh no, Bruce…," the word escape me before I can even think about holding them in. Again the doctor glances over at me before quickly looking away again as if ashamed.

"I got low," he tells us. "I didn't see an end. So, I put a bullet in my mouth, and the other guy spit it out. So I moved on. I focused on helping other people. I was good. Until you dragged me back into this freak show and put everyone here at risk. You want to know my secret, Agent Romanoff? You want to know how I stay calm?" Bruce reaches for the scepter and grabs it off it's stand. Immediately Fury and Natasha have their hands on their weapons, but I refuse to even go for my holster. First of all, I don't use real bullets, I use a special kind of ammo similar to a dart that knocks enemies out that likely aren't strong enough for Bruce so I wouldn't be able to help anyway not that real bullets would stop him anyway apparently. Secondly, I don't think he meant to grab it.

"Dr. Banner, put down the scepter," Steve orders Bruce. Banner looks down to see the scepter in his hands to his obvious confusion. Then one of the computers starts beeping loudly.

"Got it," announces Stark while Bruce hastily puts down the scepter and heads for the computer.

"Sorry, kids," he drawls sarcastically, "you don't get to see my party trick after all."

"You located the Tesseract?" inquires Thor.

"I could get there the fastest," exclaims Tony like a five year old.

"The Tesseract belongs on Asgard. No human is a match for it," proclaims Thor.

"You're not going alone," Steve yells at Steve while grabbing his arm to keep him from leaving.

"You're going to stop me?" challenges Tony.

"Put on the suit and let's find out," accepts Steve. Children not this again.

"I'm not afraid to hit an old man," Tony mocks Steve.

"Put on the suit," Steve manages to grind out past clenched teeth.

"WILL YOU TWO JUST BEHAVE FOR FIVE SECONDS!?" I finally explode causing everyone to stare at me once again. "Are you two so busy with your inane and juvenile pissing contest that you can't just play nice until after the threat against all of humanity passes?!"

"Oh my God," exclaims Bruce quietly from the corner. My head snaps in his direction just before the ground explodes and we're all knocked back.

And then chaos ensues.