A/N: This is an adult-insert fanfic based off of Mertens' wonderfully weird and wholesome Gremlin AU series. It may not make much sense if you haven't read those stories - but to be honest, it may not make much sense even if you have XD

C/W: Explicit sexual content, including MMF

Raoul de Chagny had just settled into his favorite chair, ready to start the book he had recently borrowed from the library, when he heard the sound of nails clicking on the floor. Inwardly sighing, he held the book up in front of his face, hoping against hope that Erik would take the hint, but of course the annoying little creature didn't. Instead he scrambled up Raoul's leg and tried to forcefully take the book from his hands.

"Hey! Stop that!" he admonished, but naturally his words fell on deaf ears. Wrenching the book away from Erik, he sat it to the side in defeat. "I'm tired of paying fines on all the books you feel the need to damage," he said petulantly, but of course Erik was paying him no mind. Besides, Raoul really wanted to read the book, even though it concerned a ridiculous conspiracy theory that the North Pole was in fact real. It amused him to no end that there were people out in the world who believed such preposterous ideas - after all, Raoul had been there, to that world of unending night (their expedition had arrived in the winter), and he knew for himself that the North Pole was as much a fantasy as a ghost, as a phantom.

Unfortunately his thoughts were quickly brought back to the present as Erik made a now-familiar noise, one very similar to the sounds that the cat that Raoul's family had when he was a child used to make when it needed to cough up a hairball. And soon enough, Raoul was holding a slightly warm black egg, trying not to retch as Erik scampered to the kitchen to get a dishrag from Christine to wrap the disgusting thing in.

Eyeing the egg balefully and praying that it did not hatch, Raoul took comfort in one fact - it was nearly the full moon, and he had finally come up with a plan to thwart Erik from making any advances to Christine under the guise of being her 'angel'. Erik thought himself so clever, but Raoul's scheme was foolproof. He may have to live with sharing a home with Erik, but thanks to his brilliant mind, he would no longer have to share Christine with him physically, even once a month. With a small self-satisfied smirk, Raoul handed the egg to Erik and picked up his book once more.

xxxxx

It was the night of the full moon, and somehow Raoul had exceeded even his own expectations - his plan had gone perfectly. He had met Christine at the door when she came home from rehearsal with two of her favorite things: silk candy and a bouquet of moonflowers. Then he had prepared her favorite meal, lavishing her with attention and hanging on her every word.

Before it was even dark they had retired to the bedroom, where he intended to use his virility to distract her with the pleasures of the flesh until she fell into a deep sleep - therefore leaving no time for Erik to put her through her 'vocal exercises', or even worse, for her to handle one or more of his 'proboscises' in the disturbing ways he had witnessed over the last several months. Raoul was a doting husband, but he was past the point of no return when it came to allowing these activities to continue any longer.

And, he thought smugly, it seemed he would no longer have to, if the way Christine was eagerly moaning as his tongue lapped between her thighs was any indication. Raoul was currently lying on his back while his beloved held herself just above his face, happily encouraging him in his attentions to her.

Raoul was nearly lost in the delight that he got from pleasing his Lotte in this manner, but it slowly dawned on him that Christine had started licking his manhood in return, before sucking it deeply into her mouth. Moaning into her, he moved his lips to her little bud and looked up at her, admiring her lovely face as she gazed down at him.

Wait - Christine was pleasuring him with her mouth, how could she be looking down at him? Raoul stared at her in a haze of dawning confusion, until suddenly his shoulders jolted up, nearly dislodging her completely, but she stopped him before he could rise fully. With a sense of dawning horror, he looked past her at his very worst nightmare.

When Christine's gaze followed his, somehow his disordered mind found a sense of satisfaction that she would finally realize how terribly inappropriate Erik was, but to his confusion Christine was gazing at the now full-sized Erik fondly. "No," Raoul protested, in a manner which didn't sound nearly as decisive as he would have wished. "Christine, no...this," he rambled incoherently, trying to ignore the incredible pleasure he was feeling.

Christine looked at him, and Raoul was horrified at the look in her eyes, as though she was looking upon something unbearably sweet. "Raoul, look! Erik must think you need help cleaning your proboscis, like he has needed lately. How sweet of him to want to help you! See, I told you he does care for you!"

Raoul opened his mouth to reply, but he seemed to lack the ability to form words at the moment, possibly due to the way Erik was continuing to lavish attention on his manhood. At a loss, Raoul closed his eyes and let the pleasure sweep through him, opening his eyes when Erik pulled back from him, trying to ignore the way Erik was licking his lips as though he didn't want to miss a single drop.

Embarrassed, he turned to Christine, wondering how he could explain this to her, but she wasn't looking at him. In fact, she was moving toward Erik on the bed, pushing him onto his back as she settled herself astride his hips. Making the situation seem even more like a nightmare, Erik reached into that hideous sheath of his as Christine said, "Yes, the big one, please, Angel."

When Christine had slid herself onto Erik's appendage and began rocking back and forth with her eyes closed, Raoul nearly slunk from the bed in defeat, not wanting to watch the two of them have intercourse yet again, but Erik's clawed hand shot out and grabbed his wrist, bringing it to the apex of Christine's thighs and placing his fingers on her sweet pearl. When her eyes shot open at his touch, and she looked at him with all the love in the world glowing there, Raoul was helpless to do anything but move his fingers in the way that he knew she liked best, trying to ignore the fact that they also occasionally brushed against Erik's, well, whatever that was.

As Raoul watched Christine climax (while doing his best to ignore the fact that Erik seemed to be doing the same), seeing her pleasure almost made this entire situation seem worth it. Yes, it was incredibly weird, but it seemed to make Christine happy, and that was really all that he wanted in life.

xxxxx

To Raoul's relief, once Erik was back to his normal small self in the morning, he behaved as though nothing had changed between them, still clearly favoring Christine and generally acting like a little shit most of the time, although he did seem to want to sit on Raoul's lap more than he had before.

About a week after what Raoul was coming to think of as the one-time encounter between the three of them, a pair of delivery men showed up at the door to deliver a new bed while Christine was at the theater. He tried to tell them they had the wrong house, but they overrode his objections, insisting on setting up the new emperor-size bed in place of their old one, which they even took with them.

Raoul met Christine at the door that evening, eager to tell her the bizarre tale, but to his disappointment she wasn't surprised at all. "Oh, I ordered that, my love. Did I not tell you?"

As he trailed behind her as she went to inspect her purchase, he answered, "No, you didn't, but that's all right. It looks like a lovely bed."

Turning, she gave him the beaming smile that always stopped him in his tracks. "Oh, good, I'm so glad you like it!" Returning her attention to the bed, she added, "It was Erik's idea," unaware of the dread her simple words unleashed.

As Christine went to remove her wig and lift a sleeping Erik out of his nest, Raoul continued staring at the bed, mind racing. Surely Erik didn't think they needed a bigger bed so there could be a repeat of what had happened the night of the last full moon! That was a one-time occurrence! This coming month, Raoul resolved, he would try his plan again - and this time, he would find a way to lock the bedroom door without Christine knowing about it. He was the man of the household, after all - it was time he took back control of this situation.

xxxxx

The night of the next full moon, the plan had gone even better than the month before, Raoul reflected. Perhaps he had just needed a trial run to get the bugs out. Most importantly, he had been able to lock the door without Christine noticing, so there was no chance of Erik sneaking in and interrupting them like he had the previous month.

And that was a good thing, because Raoul was currently deep inside his wife, thrusting over her while she clung to his back and moaned his name. Oh, it felt good to know that he could satisfy her like this, that she didn't seem to be thinking of Erik although it was late enough that he was certainly big by now. Suddenly, Christine looked over his shoulder and smiled, her words sending a shard of dread through him. "Hello, Angel."

Twisting, Raoul saw that somehow Erik had not only entered the locked room silently, he had managed to creep up behind Raoul on the bed without him even noticing. The most shocking thing was what Erik had in his hand, however.

Raoul recognized the jar of oil that Christine and he used when they engaged in more...unusual activities, but for a moment he had no idea why Erik was holding it, until suddenly the horrible truth dawned on him. While Raoul was no longer a stranger to those kinds of intimacies, thanks to Christine's inquisitive nature, this was a line he had no desire to cross with Erik. Turning back to Christine, he intended to tell her so in no uncertain terms, but she spoke first.

"Oh," she began, and Raoul was relieved to notice that her eyes had a sheen of tears in them. Finally, she was realizing just how inappropriate this whole situation was. "My poor angel. Raoul, Erik must need his proboscis cleaned very badly. It's obvious that he didn't want to interrupt us."

Stunned, he stared at her with his mouth open. Surely Christine couldn't be serious!

While he was still trying to find the words to express himself, he dully noted Christine looking at Erik and nodding her head. "Go ahead, Angel. You must be in such discomfort."

As if in a dream state, he felt Erik make use of the oil, and soon they were joined together just as Raoul was still deep inside of Christine. As they both began to move, Raoul had to admit he had never felt such pleasure, and once again he found the look on Christine's face entrancing as she gazed up at him.

"I love you!" she cried passionately, and just as Raoul was about to respond in kind, he heard Erik's deep voice behind him.

"I love you, too, my darling," he all but purred, making Raoul want to set the record straight with him over who Christine had actually been speaking to, but the truth was, he couldn't really be sure.

And anyway, it was hard to form a coherent thought in his current position, as he soon felt himself climaxing as the pleasure became too great to resist.

Panting, he rolled to the side, dimly aware that he had finished before Christine, but Erik was already moving to put his face between her thighs, beginning the cursed 'vocal exercises' that had been Raoul's first introduction to this dynamic between the two of them.

After Erik had wrung an impressive array of sounds from Christine's throat and she had finally orgasmed against his tongue, he pulled back and caught Raoul staring at his mouth and the wetness there. Embarrassed, Raoul looked away, only to be surprised when Erik leaned over and pressed a kiss to his mouth, even swirling his tongue against Raoul's.

Shocked, Raoul raised a hand to his lips after Erik pulled back. Of course he didn't want to kiss Erik, the very idea was ridiculous! But he had to admit, tasting both himself and Christine on Erik's tongue was more appealing than he would have thought it would be - not that he had ever thought about such a thing before this very moment.

Later, after he and Christine had showered, they returned to the bed and curled up together while Erik went into the bathroom and cleaned up. Raoul expected that he would cuddle up on the other side of Christine, now that they had a bed big enough for all three of them to lie next to each other comfortably, but Erik surprised him by getting into the bed on Raoul's side, leaving him sandwiched between Erik and Christine.

Just as he was debating telling Erik to move, Christine looked up at him (them?) with her eyes gleaming. "This was wonderful, Raoul," she began, at least confirming that she was talking to him. "I'm so glad that the two of you have become so close. Think of all the fun we can have during the full moon now."

Heart sinking, Raoul realized he was going to have to disappoint his Lotte, as much as he hated to. Opening his mouth to tell her that this situation was never going to repeat itself, he lost his train of thought as he felt Erik shift closer to him at his back. Feeling the hardness of one of Erik's proboscises pressing against him, Raoul completely lost his train of thought.

Meeting her adoring gaze, Raoul found himself saying, "Yes, I suppose we can, my love," only to be rewarded with a huge smile from his beloved.

After all, he had promised to do everything in his power to make Christine happy, and if this made her happy...well, then, who was he to deny her that happiness? He was only agreeing to this for her sake, of course. Strictly for her sake...

A/N: Well, thank you for reading! This is definitely the most bizarre thing I have written, but it's something I had a lot of fun with, and I hope you did, too :)