"I know him Roy, I know Peter well enough to know that he didn't do this. Do you really think I'd carry the child of someone who was capable or murdering that girl?" Mum said, brewing over her tea as the two of us sat opposite Roy in the café. So far, Mum's cooking had failed to materialise, even for breakfast, so we'd come down to Roy's so I could have something. She was meant to be eating some toast as well, but she clearly had other things on her mind.
Rob was getting married tomorrow and Mum had said, I could skip a couple of days of school so long as I helped Michelle out as much as I could. Michelle had thought about asking Mum, but she was about three weeks short of her due date and it took twenty minutes for her to get out of bed in the morning, let alone do anything else. Peter's trial for murdering Tina had finished at the end of last week. He was found guilty and that hit Mum hard. I think the idea of carrying a murder's child made her feel sick, but her emotions got in the way of her judgement and Michelle thought that she still had feelings for Peter. It wouldn't surprise me; she had shown more feelings in the last nine months than I had ever seen her show and it felt like it was all coming out at once. I was struggling to make sense of it, so I dread to think how she was feeling.
"Perhaps not as well as you thought." Roy said. Mum rolled her eyes.
"You sound like Rob." Mum said, before sitting back in her chair and resting her hands on her bump. I looked into my tea and drowned out the rest of their conversation as they continued talking about Peter. I thought when him and Mum split up, that would have been the end of it, but I've slowly come to realise than he will always be in our lives, because of what he did to Mum and because of the baby. I soon excused myself from breakfast with Mum and Roy and made my way over to the pub to find Michelle.
That evening, Mum and I threw Rob a stag party at the flat. It wasn't much of a party, we had a Chinese and he had a few beers while Mum and I drank water. Rob went off to the bathroom and Mum pulled me into her.
"I need you to go to your room and try and get some sleep. I'll come and get you if I need you, ok?" she whispered in my ear.
"What? Why?" I said quietly.
"Shh, I just need you to do this for me Orla." She said before we heard the toilet flush. "Go on." She said. I got up from the table and said good night to Rob as he came out of the bathroom and I went into my bedroom. I got ready for bed but couldn't sleep. I thought about why Mum had sent me to my room and why she was so secretive when Rob got back. I tried to turn all of my lights out and go to sleep, but I couldn't help but think about Mum. I thought about calling Michelle, but then Mum would know I would have done and I don't think she would have been very happy. I waited for hours, sat on my phone, twiddling my thumbs for something to happen. I heard Michelle's voice and thought now would be my chance to see what was going on. I wrapped myself in my dressing gown and opened my bedroom door.
"I thought I told you Orla Connor." Mum said as she saw me. Michelle looked at me too and put her arms out.
"Oh come here darling," Michelle said, "Don't worry about her, she's got enough hormones to fuel a flipping aeroplane." I walked towards Michelle and sat on the chair beside her as she put her arms around me.
"Alright fine, two minutes but as soon as Rob comes back, back to that bedroom you." Mum said. I nodded before cuddling up to Michelle. I watched as they continued to chat, I could see the fear in Mum's eyes when Rob opened the door to the flat. She looked back at me. Michelle kissed my head and I got up and went back to my room.
I got into bed as I heard the front door slam again, assuming that must have been Michelle leaving. I pulled the duvet up toward my shoulders and held my favourite blanket into my chest. I saw it in Mum's eyes, there's something wrong, and at some point soon, it's all gonna kick off.
I fell asleep at some point, and woke slightly when Mum crawled into my bed and pulled me into her. She was sniffing and sobbing as if she'd been crying, I rolled over so I faced and said,
"Mum's what's the matter? What's happened?"
"Shh, you go back to sleep, we'll sort this all out in the morning. I'll just stay here with you." She whispered back to me. I cuddled into her before closing my eyes and going back to sleep.
The next day was Rob and Tracy's big day. Mum was lying awake beside me when I woke up.
"What was all that about last night?" I whispered to Mum as she pulled me into her.
"I need to tell you something and I need your word that it doesn't leave this room." She said quietly, looking between me and the door all the time she spoke. I nodded. "Promise?"
"I promise." I said.
"Well, you know they found that bracelet of Tina's in the shed at Number 1, and they thought Peter must have put it there." I nodded as she spoke, quietly beside me. "It wasn't Peter who put it there, because it wasn't Peter who killed Tina." She said. She paused, looking at my bedroom door. I looked over too, but there was nothing and no one there. "Peter didn't kill Tina, because Rob did." The room fell silent, and I sat up and looked at Mum. She sobbed again, silently and softly whispered in my ear as she hugged me, "It's alright, it's alright."
"I'd give anything for Peter to have done it, even if I am carrying his baby." Mum said as Michelle sat beside her on the sofa that evening. The entire day was horrendous. Tracy was taken away by the police and Rob had run off as soon as Mum had told him the police were on their way. I sat cosied in my pyjamas on the other side of the room in the armchair watching them both, with no idea at all about what to say.
"Listen, you can still be a good sister to Rob, he's gonna need you." Michelle said, clutching a glass of red wine in her hand. Mum watched it, desperate to join in with her.
"He'll never forgive me for this." Mum said, "All I had to do was nothing. I couldn't even do that." Mum said. That evening, Michelle stayed until Mum had gone to sleep and then climbed into my bed beside me.
"She's gonna be alright, isn't she?" I whispered to her.
"Yeah, she will be, as long as Peter doesn't come after her when he gets out." She said.
"He's getting out?" I asked, trying not to raise my voice.
"Of course, he will darling, he's innocent, the police can't keep him in for having an affair with Tina." Michelle said.
"But she's settled, she's fine where she's at with the baby and everything and he's gonna ruin that." I said.
"I know darling, which is why she's going to need us ok? Now, let's get to sleep, it's been a long day." She said, before cuddling into me and falling asleep.
It was over a week later when Mum text me on my way home from school to meet her in the pub. She didn't say why, so I assumed she wasn't cooking and we were eating with Michelle instead. I went straight there when I got off the bus and found Michelle stood behind the bar and Mum not in sight.
"I wonder why she told me to meet her here then? Did she say anything about coming over here when you saw her earlier?" I asked.
"I've not even seen her today love, I'm doing cottage pie for tea if that's the reason she's got you round here." Michelle said, smiling at me as she knew it was one of my favourites.
"I love you." I said giggling. "I'll send her a text to ask her what's going on. Please can I have a lemonade while I wait for her?" I asked. Michelle nodded before disappearing to find a glass, leaving me sat at the bar. Mum soon arrived at the pub with the factory lot all in tow.
"We're celebrating Michelle, we've got a massive order, get the girls a couple of bottles of champagne, I'll have an orange juice with lemonade." She said to Michelle before coming over to see me. "Hey Orlie, did you have a good day angel?" she asked after kissing me on my head.
"Yeah, it was good thanks, are we having tea here? Michelle's making cottage pie and that's never been one of your talents." I said laughing. She nodded before returning to the factory girls on the other side of the pub. Michelle got their drinks and then came and stood beside me at the end of the bar.
"Cottage pie will be about twenty minutes." She said "What are you up to?"
"Just a bit of geography homework I need to do for tomorrow, nothing exciting." I told her.
"Do you not want to join in the celebrations?" she asked, putting her hand through my hair.
"No, I'll let Mum have her fun, she's gonna be on maternity leave in a few weeks, isn't she?" I said.
"Maternity Leave and your Mum are not two things I've heard in the same sentence. I hope she does take a break though. She's had a rough year, you all hav-" Michelle stopped suddenly and when I looked over to her, she was staring at the door at the pub. I looked over to see Peter stood behind Mum. She turned around to give Michelle some money and as she looked up, she caught Peter's eye.
"Hello Carla." Peter said as they both looked at each other. I could see the fear in Mum's eyes as he said it, so she quickly turned around, and carried on chatting to the factory girls. I put my hand out to hold onto Michelle's and she held it before pulling me into the crook of her neck. "Carla, Carla, I need to talk to you." He said. Ken tried to stop him, and Mum tried to ignore him, but Michelle and I could see from here how tense she was from here. No conversation with Peter was ever going to end well. "Just 5 minutes please." He said.
"There's nothing we have to say to each other." Mum said as she turned around to look at him.
"Nothing? We're having a baby together Carla." He said.
"No, no, we are not doing anything together. So just leave me alone." She replied to him. You could tell by the look on her face that Peter even being in the room was making her feel uncomfortable.
"Not until you give me five minutes." He said.
"Just forget it." She almost shouted.
"Five then I'll leave you alone, I swear." He said. Mum paused, knowing that all she wanted was for him to leave her alone for good.
"Ok, five minutes." Mum said, looking at her watch.
"Not here, somewhere private." Peter said as Mum continued to look at her watch and count down the seconds.
"You can use the backroom." Michelle said from beside me. It was hard for both of us to watch him do this to her, still have such a hold over her despite everything that she had been through because of him. Michelle held me as Mum and Peter walked around the bar and into the back. When they shut the door, I got off the stool and went and sat at the bottom of the stairs at the back. I was worried about Mum on her own in there with him, last time that happened, it was when Peter told him about the affair. Mum didn't need this stress now, especially not at eight and a half months pregnant.
It was about 10 minutes later when Mum came out of the back room, shutting the door behind her.
"Hey angel, what's up?" she said, as she stood in front of me at the bottom of the stairs.
"I'm just worried about you, and I don't want anything bad to happen to you because of him." I said.
"Oh Orlie girl, darling, come here." She said, pulling me into her. "Look, I'm ok aren't I? And the baby, she's ok, isn't she? We're all going to be alright, because the three of us are sticking together." She whispered as she held me.
"Hey, there's four of us in this club." Michelle said from the doorway. Mum and I both lifted our heads and giggled at her.
"Right come one angel, let's get you home." Mum said. I stood up from the stairs and we went through the bar, grabbed our stuff and walked home.
"You go and climb into bed Orla, I'll be in in a minute." Mum said as she opened the front door of the flat. I changed into my pyjamas and brushed my teeth before climbing into bed. Mum came in a few minutes later and got into bed beside me. I cuddled into her and she held me as I fell asleep.
