Kanda is annoyed.

Allen wishes he could say that it's some sort of a special situation. But no, unfortunately not. Sometimes he feels like that same exact sentence could describe Kanda's life in its entirety. What makes this particular instance special is the fact that they're kind of stuck together for the time being.

"What's taking them so long?" Kanda hisses.

"Hard to say, making out maybe?" Allen offers, contemplating as he leans on a pillar by Kanda's side with thumbs hooked in his pockets.

Kanda gives him a disgusted look.

"What?" Allen asks incredulously, because really. "They are a couple now, you know."

"So?" Kanda bites back sharply. "We're waiting for them."

They way Kanda said it, as if it completely ruled out Lavi and Lenalee making out right now— it's just, well…

Allen smiles sweetly.

"Aw, Kanda. It's cute how innocent you are. Really. Ever heard the phrase 'spur of the moment'?"

Kanda crosses his arms pointedly, sending him a nasty glare. He opens his mouth to retaliate, but then Lavi and Lenalee suddenly exit the hotel in a mess of giggles, almost skipping towards them with smiles on their faces, clearly not caring about being more than twenty minutes late.

"Sorry guys," Lenalee says with a light flush on her face, panting slightly from the run. "Lavi got a bit, um." She cuts herself off, sending her boyfriend a sideways glance as a call for help.

Lavi just grins, holding out his hands and wriggling his fingers. "Don't blame me, blame these," he laughs.

"Lavi!" she chastises him with a light slap to his shoulder but she's laughing, soon shaking her head with badly concealed endearment. "Please don't listen to him," she tells the unimpressed Allen and silently fuming Kanda.

"Okay, crew. Time to hit some ruins, am I right?" Lavi cheers, clearly ready to get another day of the trip going, camera hanging over his neck.

Behind his back, Allen catches Kanda's eyes and mouths 'told you' to which Kanda flushes, bristles and stomps his way to the front of their small group.

"Let's just fucking go."

Allen smiles to himself on the very back. How can someone so prickly be so adorable? It never fails to surprise him.

"Ooh, look there!" Lenalee points towards the distant view of the city below them, stretching out in an impressive mess of colors, mostly red and white, with the shimmering surface of the sea right nearby.

"Gotcha, strike a pose!" Lavi answers readily, the camera already in his hands, steadying for a shot as he aims right at her.

"Hey, not me, the view! Not all the pictures have to have me on them, you know!" she answers but with a smile and a blush, very clearly flattered.

"I'll have to disagree with you there…"

It goes on like this for a good few minutes until Lenalee is straight up laughing at him, trying to shield from relentless snaps of the camera with her hands.

It's kind of easy to tune out their back and forth and just focus on the view though. It really is quite something, Allen muses, taking a shot with his own camera. He quickly checks the display, satisfied.

"They're so… obnoxious," Kanda comments by his side and Allen turns to him, rising an inquisitive eyebrow.

"It bothers you that much?" he questions, but Kanda's scowl just deepens.

Allen sighs.

"C'mon," he says, tugging at Kanda's arm to pull him along. "Let's grab some drinks"

Surprisingly enough, Kanda follows him with no fuss. Maybe he's really that eager to get away from the couple. Or maybe he's just thirsty. It is hot after all. Whatever the case, Allen finds it really nice. Just sitting there with Kanda on a bench, drinking the cold sodas they grabbed from the nearby vending machine. The silence is very relaxing and actually companionable.

Still, he does want to ask.

"So. What's the issue?"

Kanda grimaces. "What issue."

"With Lavi and Lena," Allen clarifies, really not feeling like dancing around the topic. Ever since the very start of their trip, Kanda constantly seems to be in an exceedingly sour mood.

"There is no issue with them. PDA is gross," Kanda clicks his tongue, looking away as he takes a swig from his can.

"Uh-huh." Allen honestly doesn't believe him even for a second. "Or maybe you're just jealous."

That makes Kanda look straight at him, glaring.

"I'm not jealous, you ass."

"No, look, I understand. Lenalee is quite something, isn't she? As her very best friend, I—" Allen interrupts himself at the weirded-out look on Kanda's face. "No? Not Lenalee? You don't mean… pff, Kanda, do you have hots for Lavi? Seriously?" No, judging by his pure disgust, he doesn't. But it's too funny to just let it pass. "Is it the way he calls you 'Yuu-chan'?" Allen is almost tearing up from how hard he's laughing, his entire body shaking from the force of it.

"Shut the fuck up, beansprout," Kanda growls, elbowing him on the ribs. Hard. "If I puke, it will be all over you."

"Ew," Allen answers, still grinning. "And it's Allen! But seriously though, what's the problem?"

Kanda throws him a sideways glance and drinks again before clicking his tongue.

"Doesn't it annoy you? What are we even doing here?"

"Well…" Allen sighs as he trails off, setting his can aside and propping himself on his hands behind his back to look up into the sky. "To their credit, we all bought plane tickets and booked the hotel before they got together, so what can you do? I'm sure they wouldn't want us to think that they don't care about us anymore. So they didn't cancel." Allen shrugs.

Kanda is quiet after that, perhaps thinking about it.

...except, when Allen looks at him, he finds Kanda staring right at him. He immediately turns his head to the front at being caught.

"Whatever," Kanda snaps, getting up from the bench as if he got burned.

Interesting...

Kanda avoids talking to Allen for about an hour after that, so a big part of their daily dose of sightseeing drags on mercilessly, with nothing to pay attention to but Lenalee and Lavi's constant flirting.

Allen really likes summer.

And no, it's not the weather.

Allen burns easily, so that prevents him from really enjoying the sun. Instead of swimming in the sea, he spends most of his time tucked under the big, colorful parasol, stretching on his dorky beach towel. He does feel better tucked away like this, due to the strangeness of his physique.

His favorite thing about summer is not even the holidays, either.

If he's being honest, what he usually enjoys much more are just the weekends. A quick reprieve from his busy but satisfying days at the University. Unlike during school, the homework assignments are actually somewhat interesting most of the time. If his free time gets too long, Allen tends to get bored easily.

So. No.

What he likes most about summer is sunglasses.

Not only do they shield his eyes from the sun and therefore provide comfort, but they also look cool and even prevent people from seeing what he's actually looking at. So even if what he's looking at just happens to be Kanda's ass or naked chest, no one is there to judge him for it. And isn't that just the nicest.

Kanda's naked chest is getting closer and closer, definitely coming in his direction.

Allen sets the book that he was pretending to be reading aside and pushes his sunglasses into his hair, squeezing one eye shut at the sudden brightness as he looks up at his friend.

…'friend', well. Kind of. Maybe. They never really talked about it.

"Hmm?" Allen hums questioningly, smiling as Kanda ignores his own towel and steps onto Allen's instead.

"Scoot over, I want the shade."

And so Allen does, pretending that Kanda's wet shoulder pressed against his is not a big deal at all. Just playing it cool.

"What did they do this time?" Allen asks, already recognizing the grossed-out grimace.

"We were swimming and shit, but then the moron rabbit—"

"Don't tell me. Undid her bra strings." Allen is highly unimpressed. The oldest trick in the book.

"No. Stole her fucking panties. They're wrestling for them now."

"Wow," Allen only says, actually a bit speechless. There is just… such a crowd here. What was Lavi even thinking. Honestly? In Lenalee's place, Allen would probably slap him. Allen knows her well enough to know that she will definitely do so if the need arises though.

"Yeah."

"Too much," Allen surmises, scrunching his nose up in distaste.

"The way they were swimming together like a weirdly sexual piggy back ride was already too much."

Allen snorts at that, then quietly chuckling at Kanda just sitting there, practically oozing discomfort.

"What's so fucking funny," Kanda grits out.

"N-no, it's nothing. Sorry." Adorable is close to the only thing in Allen's head. This is seriously such an unexpected upside to him and Kanda collectively becoming a third wheel.

"So what the fuck do you even do out here?"

"I read. Mostly," Allen answers. It's true enough. That's what he was doing until Kanda stepped out of the water.

Kanda snatches his book up before Allen can even register him move, accidentally plastering his wet hair across Allen's leg. Allen shivers, thankfully unnoticed. Not that he doesn't have a valid-sounding reason. But still.

Kanda flips through the book without much interest, until…

"Wait. What the—"

"It's a gay romance novel."

Allen half-expects Kanda to just drop the book in that moment, like he could catch the gay from it. Instead, he looks up at Allen, eyebrows high.

"Those exist?"

Allen bites his lip, silently celebrating.

"Oh, they do. You just need to know where to look." Allen watches as Kanda shifts to sit cross-legged, placing the book in his quickly dried lap to continue flipping. "Do you... want some recommendations?"

Predictably, that was a bit too much. Kanda looks up at him again, this time with a nasty scowl.

"Fuck off."

Still, he continues flipping and reading bits and pieces, getting closer towards the end until…

"What the f— 'Brandon kisses him deeply, it feels like it's only them left in the world. Only them and the moon, bathing them in a soft light.' Really? That's beyond gay."

"Hey! You know, you have to give some slack to artistic expression of emotions, okay? Besides—" But then Allen shuts up, what Kanda said really clicking in his brain. "Wait. He ends up with Brandon?!" Allen forgets himself for a moment, crawling towards Kanda and pressing close to him to read over his shoulder. "That absolute bitch," he gasps. "After everything Emmet sacrificed for him! I'm so not gonna read that garbage."

When Allen's brain catches up with his actions, he thinks 'shit'. Then, he thinks that Kanda really should be staring at him with his best what-the-hell look and not just look completely blank as he's completely petrified against him, unmoving hands and all.

Then, Allen realizes he must have overstepped his boundaries. He quickly moves away, slightly panicked.

"I'll go grab some snacks. Watch the bags for a moment, will you?" Allen's words tumble out in record speed, and he's impressed with himself for not forgetting his wallet before getting up.

He tries to calm down on the way to the food stalls. Tries to but instead he works himself up even more as he waits in a queue, only managing to calm down as he focuses on prattling on the names of his snacks of choice.

When Allen comes back, hands completely full with a pile of junk food, he needs to just pause for a second.

Before he speaks to signalize his presence, he quietly stands there, taking a moment to appreciate the sight of Kanda reading his book from the beginning, a look of concentration on his face.

"Hey," Allen says softly, lightly poking Kanda's hip with his foot.

Kanda looks up at him unhurriedly, eyebrows furrowed.

"I'll lend you a better one."

Kanda scowls. "Who would read this shit? I'm just bored."

"I won't tell anyone. I can keep a secret." Allen smiles knowingly as Kanda eyes him for a moment, obviously wary.

"Shit, fine." Kanda clicks his tongue, looking back down to the yellowish pages. "I'll read it if I'm bored," he mumbles, and Allen can only do so much to stop himself from snickering.

A bit later, when Lavi and Lenalee (panties back in place) come to the towels to sunbathe, Allen, in a strange rush of courage and oh-what-the-fuck-ever, asks Kanda if he wants to play air hockey with him. Kanda does.

They stay in the mini-arcade for well over two hours and they're pretty even most of the time, but at the end Allen absolutely gets his ass handed to him. But honestly? Damn, he doesn't even care.

Kanda looks really, really good when he's feeling smug.

The sightseeing part of the day this time around is not so much really 'sightseeing' as it's— shopping? Yeah, it's pretty much just shopping.

They do stop by some spots marked in the guidebook that Lena never parts with, but the entire route is littered with many, many, many small shops.

Some of them are interesting, the others not so much.

"Always decorative plates and magnets," Kanda murmurs when they exit another one of the stores, sounding disbelieving over how everyone's business seems to run off something so useless.

"Don't forget the decorative cutlery," Allen pitches in.

"There are also pens, mugs and T-shirts," Lenalee rushes to supply a bit defensively. "Those are of everyday use, right?" The last part is clearly aimed at Lavi, meant to convince the other two through his approval.

Lavi nods his head vigorously, but when she looks away, he immediately starts shaking it.

Lenalee spins back around on her heel in a record speed, her eyes narrowed dangerously.

"You reflect in that storefront over there, you know," she says flatly, pointing a thumb over her shoulder.

Allen snickers quietly. Watching Lena being so no-nonsense never really gets boring. When it's at Lavi's expense, it really gets all the sweeter. It's true that he's been busy with other things lately, namely his lovely girlfriend, but for all the times he has, for various reasons, mercilessly teased Allen in the past – ha, he deserves absolutely everything he gets.

"Lenalady, don't look at me like that…"

Allen easily tunes them out as Lavi attempts to sweet-talk her. As soon as they start with that though, the only thing on Allen's mind is really…

He throws a side-glance at Kanda and… yup, there's the expression. Or, well, almost. For now it's only very mild distaste.

If it was Allen's call, that much would already be enough to drag Kanda away, but…

Well, it just isn't his call. Or at least not only his.

Very soon though, Allen discovers that, sometimes, situations have a way of just working themselves out.

"So, boys," Lenalee proclaims suddenly, eyeing each of the three with a stern gaze. "There is a shopping center just down this street here. I'm going," she stresses the last part, correctly predicting the protests.

"Lena, I'd normally love to, but…"

"Yeah, there is no way in hell I'm going."

"Lenalady, isn't it the same brands as back home…?"

"I won't know the difference unless I check for myself, now will I? You're going, Lavi. I'll need your opinion." She shakes her head at her boyfriend, addressing him first. Then, she turns to Allen. "Allen, darling, you're the sweetest as always. But I suppose, since Kanda is so adamant," she pauses to give him a mild glare, but he only raises an eyebrow, actually smiling at her lightly, "I'll have you babysit him and make do with the less experienced pair of hands."

Allen snickers at the 'babysitting' part, but can't answer more than that, because Lavi interjects.

"E-excuse me? Did I just get called the less experienced pair of hands…?" Lavi clutches at his chest dramatically, appearing offended.

"Zippers and laces, Lavi," Allen clarifies pointedly. "Not to brag too much, but I tie the best ribbons, too," he says proudly, Lenalee nodding in clear affirmation.

"Damn that's gay," Lavi says in good humor, wriggling his eyebrows.

"Thank you." Allen puts a hand over his heart, making the best impression of feeling touched that he can manage. Which, again, not to brag, but it's pretty amazing.

What answers him is two good-natured giggles. Meanwhile Kanda— looks genuinely impressed.

Somehow, Allen just knows that it has very little to do with his acting skills. Or tying ribbons. Especially since Kanda looks away as soon as he realizes he's being watched.

They do all enter the shopping center, but they split right at the door, having agreed beforehand that Kanda and Allen will wait around somewhere.

"Let's meet in two hours out front!" Lena waves to them as she goes toward the escalator, dragging the no-longer-resisting Lavi along with her.

And just like that, Allen is alone with Kanda yet again.

"...Well. Coffee?" Allen proposes, maybe just a bit more timidly than he actually intended.

Kanda just nods, strangely tense compared to not even twenty minutes ago, but Allen knows better than to question him about it.

There are two different cafés on the ground floor, within sight, so they don't need to search far. Allen picks the one with a more inviting color palette and starts walking towards it.

By the time he reaches the small line at the counter, Allen has to check if Kanda is really following because of how quiet he's being. He's there. Eyebrows drawn together as he stares at nothing in particular.

They stand in silence while the lady in front twitches her nose about soy and oat milk being available and not almond. They still don't say anything to each other as they get their orders and set out to find a seat.

The spot they settle for is nothing but perfect – kind of in the corner, with two plush armchairs instead of the wobbly-looking wooden chairs that some other tables have.

The mood is— well, it's not exactly uncomfortable, but there is definitely something in the air. After about two or three sips of his latte and one bite of his disappointingly small slice of cake, Allen can't really stop himself anymore.

"Hey, is everything okay?" he asks quietly, feeling extremely unsure. It's really not his place to ask, he thinks.

Thankfully, Kanda doesn't retaliate. He just finally, finally catches Allen's eyes and nods minutely, staring at the table right afterwards. It lifts only some of the pressure.

It's when Kanda glances at him for the third time that Allen realizes Kanda is actually gathering up to say something.

"How do you—" Kanda pauses, drawing his eyebrows even closer together, eyes yet again escaping, but just for a moment. Then, he looks right at him. "How are you so comfortable with talking about being gay?"

Oh.

That's what impressed him earlier, Allen realizes, a pleasant warmth spreading in his chest.

He thinks carefully about how he should answer, weighting every word.

"I'm not comfortable with just anyone," he says. "But then again, if I think I want to have anything to do with any given person, I mention it anyway. The first chance I get really, just to see how it goes over. It's like a test, I suppose."

Allen laces his fingers around his cup, feeling the warmth, organizing his thoughts for a moment.

"I know that… I'm maybe making it sound easier than it is. But it's really, you know, safer to just say it. Even with a heart all the way up your throat. It's still better than getting hurt later on, so…"

Kanda is looking at him the entire time, obviously listening closely.

"To be honest, for me it was kind of… I don't want to say 'easy' but— I've just been, uh, teased for less." Allen doesn't think he needs to clarify. He's more than aware that he's plenty strange. Starting from looks, through eating habits, ending on some of his personality traits. And people hate strange. People bully strange.

Kanda should know anyway. He 'teased' Allen himself. More than once or twice, soon after they just met.

Allen doesn't really hold it against him though. He hopes Kanda knows that. He likes to think that it's like Kanda's very own test of sorts. Something along the lines of 'if you take it like a bitch, I'm more than you can handle'. And Allen can handle a lot, has had many opportunities to work up some resistance through even his early years.

Kanda looks like he's absorbing all that's been said, finally sipping his coffee.

"What when the person you're dealing with is a shit stain."

"Then all the more reason, no? Just go all out and make them as uncomfortable as you can. The looks on their faces are often more than worth it, I guarantee." Allen gives a smile that he knows is more than just a bit predatory but Kanda only squints at him a little, corner of his lips pulling up as well.

There is a small break in the conversation then, in which Allen finishes up his cake. He really just can't handle how small it was, so he makes a quick trip for another slice.

It's when he's back that it becomes clear they're not quite done yet. He can see it in the way Kanda looks at him.

Allen gives him all the time he needs. Patience has always been one of his strong suits. And the silence is very comfortable now anyway.

"I've never really told anyone." Allen looks up at him and Kanda holds his gaze. "That I'm gay."

So if Allen still had any doubts as to what is Kanda's sexual orientation – which he didn't, not really – then there it is. The final confirmation of Kanda being… well, a possibility.

Even if he pretty much already knew, Allen's heart still jumps just a little.

He smiles, more to himself than at Kanda really, triggering something of an awkward exchange of glances.

He clears his throat.

"Well, now you can tick off the first then."

The entire exchange leaves Allen with a very peculiar sense of fulfilment.

They're at the pool this time and when Kanda stomps over in his direction, Allen is ready.

"Well, hello there." Allen smiles brilliantly, lowering his sunglasses. "Do I wanna know?"

"No. It feels like a waste of breath at this point," Kanda grumbles. "I'm starting to think they're doing it on purpose."

Allen laughs shortly. Cute.

"I'm sure they're out to get you," Allen answers seriously and Kanda gives him an evil eye, unimpressed.

Still, he does plop down by Allen's side, on the seat right next to him where Kanda's own towel is already stretched out. He fiddles with the backrest, setting the chair into a semi-sitting position, same as Allen's is in.

When he gets comfortable, Allen is already waiting, a book offered in his stretched out hand. He brought two with him today. One of his newest for himself and his all-time favorite for Kanda. Allen usually takes it with him on trips and other similar occasions, just in case if all of his recent purchases would turn out to be unreadable for any random reason.

Kanda eyes the book with utmost caution, shifting his gaze up to Allen's more than once before he finally settles on Allen's face, the bright blue eyes slightly narrowed.

"What? I'm boring." Allen smiles innocently, almost seeing Kanda's internal struggle. Now he has no way of talking himself out of this without inadvertently complimenting Allen in the process. He still seems tempted to do just that, which only makes Allen smile wider. "You're gonna be so bored, Kanda. Really. Besides, this one here is quite good so far. I'm occupied." He lifts the book that he keeps in his other hand, close to his chest, finger in-between the pages, marking where he left off.

Despite technically agreeing to this yesterday on the beach, Kanda seems to be unrelenting, if a bit shifty. Allen's sunglasses are still hanging low on his nose, his smile ever-present, maybe gradually less innocent.

"Hey, you and I both know you really want to read it, so maybe take it before I actually attempt to embarrass you," Allen says, voice noticeably quieter, as if sharing a secret. The aforementioned attempt obviously doesn't happen but a blush slowly creeps onto Kanda's face anyway, his eyes slightly widened.

And so, Allen pushes his luck.

"Besides… it's my personal favorite," he admits lowly, leaning only slightly closer to Kanda as he does.

Kanda snatches the book without a word, soon hiding his face in it, making it a point to absolutely not talk to Allen for the next half an hour at least.

Allen is kind of glad that Kanda does that. Somewhere along the way, Allen embarrassed himself silly, despite his A+ display of confidence. And really, he just needs a moment to recover...

...and fully appreciate the fact that the book being his personal favorite turned out to be the last straw.

The next day, Allen kind of catches himself wishing that Lavi and Lena would pull something that Kanda deems distasteful. Just so the two of them can ditch them and go somewhere together. Allen has the thought since the very morning, as they all gather up to head out.

He's not sure if it maybe makes him a bad person or anything, but there it is. That's what he wants.

So when the climb to yet another vantage point seems to be going peacefully enough, Allen can't help eventually getting a bit grumpy.

It can be him for a change, right? He has the right to be grumpy sometimes, too. Except, well… maybe it wouldn't be so easy to explain why.

He doesn't need to be worried about explanations too much, it turns out, because the person who actually gravitates towards his grumpiness is not Kanda, but Lenalee. Sweet, sweet Lenalee, always there for him whenever she decides that he seems like he needs it.

"So what's going on in there now?" she starts up, casually lacing an arm around one of his as they fall into pace together.

"Where?" Allen asks, just minutely disoriented.

"Your head." She smiles in that way only she can, like there is absolutely nothing they can't fix together. "Busy place, I'd know."

Allen laughs tensely, feeling a bit guilty about how much he really doesn't want to tell her. It's not the right place and definitely not the right time. Plus she's entangled in the entire affair in a way that would be really kind of hard to put into words and sound nice while doing so. And Allen likes being nice to Lenalee. In fact, he would really hate being anything else other than nice.

"Uh…" he starts, frantically collecting his thoughts to figure out how to play this.

In a small distance from them, Allen catches the sight of Kanda smacking Lavi across the head and he can't really help the small smile appearing on his face.

"I'm just a bit lonely, I guess." And shit, he really is, he realizes. "You know, watching a happy couple… having my best friend out of reach, that sort of thing. Not that I don't get it though." He rushes to smile at her softly, trying to assure her that he might complain, since she asked, but it's okay, really.

But of course, she still says "Allen, darling, I'm so sorry for that." She blushes a bit as she says that, hanging her head to stare at her feet for a moment. "It's just, you know… it's still so new. Me and Lavi, I mean. I'm honestly so happy and…" She interrupts herself, laughing softly. "It's kind of hard to notice anything else? Honestly, if I knew we would be this bad, I think I would have told you guys not to come." She shakes her head, visibly feeling guilty. "You and Kanda, I mean," she clarifies unnecessarily.

"Hey, no. I'm happy you didn't." He is, he really is. He just kind of hopes it doesn't show how much, because that would be more than just hard to explain.

"Actually, you know what." She suddenly perks up, pursing her lips in thought. "I think I'm happy too? Since, well," she pauses, thinks for a moment. "You and Kanda finally seem to be getting along like actual friends. So at least there's that one good thing that came out of it, right?"

"Ah, yeah, I suppose…" Allen trails off, really unsure how to answer this. Friends…? That's—

Lenalee raises a curious eyebrow up at him. Maybe just slightly too curious. "You think you're not? Not friends?"

Allen and Kanda…

Well, they...

They've known each other for about four years now, having met through Lavi and Lenalee. It never amounted to much, because… pretty much because Kanda comes off as a much bigger asshole than he actually is and both of them don't have such an easy time really opening up to people.

After about two years, they were comfortable enough. Now though…

Allen doesn't really know what they are now.

"I think we are, yeah…" he answers Lenalee's question, kind of forced to admit defeat to himself. That is— nothing is lost quite yet, but for now, 'friends' is probably the closest to the truth.

"Great!" Lenalee sums up the entire thing as she beams at him, blissfully clueless.

Meanwhile Allen kind of realizes…

The biggest and the only unvoiced (but implied, Allen thinks) reason for his current loneliness is definitely the distinct lack of a partner, someone special in his life.

He used to long for it before, too. Of course he did. His love for romance novels didn't just pop into existence out of nowhere, anyway.

But this longing… it used to be very vague before. He just wanted someone. Someone who could love and support him, someone to just spend the days with him.

That was before, but recently, especially on this trip… well, is it terrible that the image of Kanda's face appears awfully clear in his mind?

Next day, they're back to the beach again. Kanda and Allen spend most of the time reading together, under the parasol. Separate books, of course. Both of them Allen's romance novels from before and Kanda seems to read faster than Allen, if he didn't just skim over the part of the book he is done with.

It's still early afternoon when Kanda comes back from taking a short swim, looking pissed off.

Allen's eyebrows draw together in confusion because that's not how Kanda's usual reaction looks like but he still asks "What did they do?"

"No. Fuck them." He clicks his tongue. "I lost my hair tie."

Allen bites his lip in thought for a moment. It's pretty strange to be so riled up about something like this but Allen doesn't question it. He's way past used to the abundance of Kanda's oddities, bigger and smaller. So really, Allen mostly just thinks that if it's so important to him, then maybe they could…

"Wanna go buy a new one?" Allen asks, as casually as he can muster, trying not to stare at Kanda's wet hair plastered to his skin.

After getting Lena and Lavi to watch their stuff, they go to browse stalls upon stalls upon stalls of overpriced souvenirs, pointing out the weirder things to each other as they go.

Strangely enough, the only hair tie they find is a fugly scrunchie with marine themes and the name of the city they're in, so Kanda says pass.

Back at the hotel, Allen learns that Kanda didn't bring a spare with him. At all.

He gets to be excited at the prospect of watching Kanda with his hair constantly down until the end of the trip for approximately three hours. That is, until Lenalee finds out what happened and casually pulls a hair tie out of her pocket. On the spot.

Allen feels cheated. Her hair is not even long enough to tie up anymore!

When Allen points it out, having to really try not to sound accusing, she only answers with a shrug "I always have that kind of stuff on me. It's like tampons, hairpins and band-aids, you know?"

Allen knocks on Kanda's door, probably more nervous than it really makes sense. He came with information after all. It's like a mission, with a very clear and not at all suspicious purpose.

The door opens, revealing Kanda in shorts and a T-shirt, barefoot.

"Beansprout," he says, his elegant eyebrows raising lightly.

Allen deflates a little. "Allen. You know very well that it's Allen," he huffs. He knows it won't work.

Although maybe, someday...

Kanda's mouth twitches at him just slightly and he moves from where he's standing, letting Allen come in.

As soon as the door closes, Kanda walks further in, flexes as he pulls his shirt over his head and throws it on top of the bed, his untied hair spilling over his muscled back. And Allen just kind of stops where he's standing, rooted in place because in which universe exactly does Allen entering the room warrant Kanda taking his shirt off?

Kanda catches him staring.

"What. I've been sitting here like this. It's hot."

Well, yes. Yes, it is.

"Um. AC exists?"

Kanda quirks an eyebrow at him. "The balcony is open?"

"Right. Anyway." Allen rushes to change the topic because they really should stop discussing this. "I went to grab Lavi and Lena to go down for dinner but apparently they're eating out tonight."

"Okay?" Kanda answers slowly, furrowing his eyebrows.

It's only then that Allen realizes— he really didn't have to come to Kanda's room to tell him that, did he? They would have met downstairs or on the way there, like usual, and Kanda would see for himself because he has eyes.

"R-right. No, it's nothing," Allen says, hating himself just a little bit. The fact the two of them kind of started hanging out more than usual doesn't make them besties all of a sudden. Or anything else, for that matter. Allen, you dumbass. "I'll just—" He's about to evacuate, already backing out towards the door.

"Hey." Kanda catches his hand. Only for long enough to actually stop him and then soon lets go, but that doesn't change what the gesture did to Allen's heartbeat.

"Yeah?" he asks, wide-eyed.

"Since they're eating out— wanna eat out too? I've seen you drooling over that one pasta place."

Suddenly, Allen feels a bit weak in the knees, because— he's not sure what did he count on by coming here exactly, but this is way better.

"Oh, yeah, sure." Allen realizes that his grin is possibly two times wider than would be normal, but Kanda only smiles lightly in return and doesn't comment on it. Allen tries not to be too obvious about how much he's staring.

When they get to the pasta place, the spot Lavi and Lenalee through the window. Thankfully, the couple is too busy with each other to see them.

"Shit," Kanda comments.

"So, uh, we— go back to the hotel?" Allen asks, as much as it disappoints him to even say it.

Kanda stares at him for a longer moment, clearly trying to gauge what he's thinking. Allen bravely struggles not to shrink under the scrutiny.

"Would we even make it back on time?" Kanda eventually asks.

And yes, yes they would. No problem at all. Honestly, they probably both know this. If Allen does, then Kanda most definitely does. Allen is the one usually getting lost or losing track of time.

He carefully considers what to say.

Eventually, as he looks at Kanda's face, nervousness temporarily winning his internal battle, he says words that he immediately regrets. "Maybe if we hurry…?"

Kanda thankfully, thankfully completely ignores him and just continues staring. Waits.

"Or we could just look for another place?"

Kanda doesn't even blink. "Okay."

"...and then come back here tomorrow anyway…?" Allen is pushing it. He's definitely pushing it. He knows he is. How monumentally stupid.

But Kanda looks away with a small huff of breath, kind of sounding like a soft laugh.

"Yeah. Okay."

It feels like a deal of Allen's life. Kind of like a sale, a 2 for 1 bargain. Allen absolutely loves sales and promotions. And seriously, 2 for 1 are probably his favorite.

He's stupid-happy as they start walking again, all too aware of the small flush on his face.

Kanda just lets him be, throwing only one or two side glances in his direction as he leads them towards whatever spot he has in mind.

It turns out to be a place with Japanese food, as evident by the menu displayed outside. It stands out against the many restaurants with local cuisine but it's not the only one with foreign food around. Although, it looks starkly modern, even though stylized with traditional oriental patterns. It's probably the newest around.

Allen stares at it dumbly for a longer moment, then snorts.

"You say anything and I kick your ass, deal?" Kanda snaps at him.

"Are you having soba withdrawal?" Allen teases, unable to stop himself.

As promised, Kanda knees him in the ass. Not even that hard.

"H-hey!" Allen stutters through his laughing fit, way too giddy not to show it.

The place is full of people but thankfully they don't have to wait for a table more than maybe five minutes. The spot they get shown to is less secluded than Allen would have liked for a meal with Kanda but it's alright enough. At least they are by a wall.

Allen is pretty sure that Kanda flips through the menu just to make sure they have soba because he closes it and sets is aside very quickly. Allen, on the other hand, takes a very long time, painstakingly weighting his budget against his appetite. This has already been a pretty expensive trip.

It was really so nice that they planned it so long ahead of the holidays, at least he had the time to gather up some savings. It still didn't mean he could exactly go all out though.

He picks one of the cheaper sushi sets, with lots of hosomaki, a temaki roll, and curry rice. He'd love to go for something more elaborate, and more of it, but this will have to do.

When a waiter approaches, Allen is the one giving his order first and then, flashing Kanda a smile, he orders tempura soba and green tea for him. Kanda rolls his eyes and doesn't protest. His eyes look pleased.

"Kanda, I wasn't bothering you about this before but…" Do you see this as a date? But no. Still, he purposefully lets it hang for a moment, trying to appear maybe slightly coquettish. "You haven't told me if you've been enjoying my favorite book. You were halfway through last time I checked."

Interestingly, Kanda doesn't get embarrassed or anything like that. He holds his gaze, just looking— interested. And he just says "I like it so far."

Just like that. In plain words, sounding somewhat pleased. He's not downplaying it like he would most things. Or maybe he still is? And Allen knows they're talking about the book but…

It's just not so easy not to get into his head because Kanda's hair framing his face softens his features. Or is it really just that his expression is not exactly neutral?

"Makes sense, I have excellent taste," Allen answers eventually, unable to stop smiling.

Kanda rolls his eyes at him but he doesn't seem at all annoyed. This time Allen thinks he sees something like a smile playing around his lips. But he does shoot him down a little after an exchange of looks saying "Your dish choices disagree. You could have just ordered five bowls of rice."

Normally he would maybe point out that some people have a thing called budget because they cannot live off of only green tea and meditation but he doesn't want to say something that would sound like coaxing Kanda to pay. Instead he says "I was thinking about beef noodles but I do already know I'll have pasta tomorrow, so."

Kanda holds his gaze for a moment, not refuting anything. The silence gets maybe a little too long before he adds "You're not saying noodles and pasta are the same thing, are you?"

Allen gives him a look. "I would not offend food, please. I'm not you. I'm just saying noodles are more similar to pasta than rice is."

Allen is a little thankful that they get interrupted by the arrival of their drinks because he feels like the mood could probably use some fixing.

"You surprised me, you know…" He starts more sheepishly than he intended. He's more confident when he follows up with "I didn't think you would invite me."

"No?" Kanda's eyes narrow a little, as if in careful curiosity. "I thought it's what you tried to do but you chickened out." He smirks.

Allen feels warm at the accusation and his pulse also quickens a little. "I'm not really sure what I was thinking. Maybe I just wasn't. I'm glad, though."

Kanda answers that only with his eyes, looking pleased, and takes a sip of his tea.

Allen almost mentions something about the way Kanda took off his shirt before that invitation even happened. Almost.

Instead, maybe foolishly, he says "I was just not expecting someone who never told anyone he was interested in men to be so smooth. You don't blame me for being a little impressed, do you?"

"Impressed." Kanda gives him a new sort of look. An intense one, in a way that Allen discovers he likes a lot. "Not surprised anymore?"

"It's impressive you can still surprise me."

Kanda likes his answer. He sees it in the way his eyes drift away just very briefly, before coming back to him with an even sharper focus.

"I might have not told anyone but you don't really have to if you go to a gay bar."

"Surprised again. You'd go to a place like that? Though." Allen pauses to give him a bit of a glance-over, hopefully nothing too pushy. "I can imagine you never have to say much, yeah."

"How tempted are you to say that it works better for me if I don't?" Kanda smirks and it's a little predatory.

Allen sorts of forgets what he's really asking.

"Very." His eyes catch on Kanda's arms as he crosses them over his chest, looking pleased with himself. Allen thinks he might have to revise all of his previous conclusions about summer. The best thing about it must be Kanda's naked arms, things without sleeves really do fucking work for this man.

Kanda reminds him what they're talking about and drives his point across by saying "Don't start drooling" in a self-satisfied manner.

But Allen, even if it's maybe a little masochistic of him, really does want Kanda to speak. It's also probably safer if he does, because it will keep reminding Allen that there very much is such a thing as coming on too strong. "Drooling? No. I've seen more than this. You'd have to try harder to make me drool." He smiles innocently. "But for now I'm just fine enjoying your charming remarks."

"How often do you hear that you're weird?" Kanda asks, amused.

"Luckily for you, often."

Things were going great. At least until a while after their food arrived, when a couple in their mid-forties or so got seated at the table closest to them that just became vacant.

It took one look from the man towards them for Allen to tense up a little and prepare for at least a little trouble.

It only took a few minutes of them eating and chatting – or maybe Allen stuffing his face and Kanda complaining at him would be more accurate – for Allen to hear "Fucking ruining people's appetites. Aren't there some rules against this?", glancing over just on time to see the middle-aged man glare at them.

"Darling, let people enjoy their holidays," the soft voice of the man's wife follows.

Allen is not sure if he's more outraged or surprised at first. He decides surprise wins because he's been subjected to shit like this too often to be outraged at something so mild and he is more than a little surprised that it happened when he and Kanda were literally being antagonistic to each other.

Was is something in their body language? It must have been.

Either way, none of that means that Allen isn't going to retaliate.

Kanda heard the remark too, though he couldn't have seen the glare. They exchange a look.

Feeling like he more-or-less has Kanda's permission to make a scene, Allen does the most obnoxious thing he can think of and slowly takes the bulky and oval handroll into his mouth in a very vulgar manner and takes a sensual bite, making a soft moan. All that while looking at Kanda, which the rude older man could see, and probably even hear, from where he's sitting.

Allen is very pleased because not only it makes the older man sputter and go red in the face, almost shaking in a frustrated kind of rage, but it also makes Kanda flush a little and his lips part, making him look all kinds of delicious.

Unfortunately, this quickly gets messy. The man and his wife leave, but not before he loudly argues with some members of the staff. Him as well as Allen and Kanda's now-quiet table attract more than a few stares.

They don't suffer any further remarks from anyone, save for an actual apology relayed by their waiter, but the mood still becomes a little ruined.

"So? Was his reaction worth it?"

Allen smiles a little "I think he wanted to have what I was having."

They eat mostly in silence after this, but it's not tense enough to be unpleasant or anything like that. If Allen had to find a word for how he feels, he thinks he would go with 'bummed'.

He still does find out some interesting things, like the fact that Kanda owns a dog. He really had no idea before. He tries to imagine how Kanda looks like when he deals with animals. Is he gentle with them? Allen thinks he must be, because his eyes soften a little when he speaks about his pet.

When it's time to pay, Allen insists he will cover the bill. In retrospective, he feels like maybe it wasn't worth it to make a scene big enough to make the rude guy leave. He's the one who took it this far and kind of ruined things so he wants to at least do this much. Kanda grimaces a little but agrees, telling him that tomorrow it's on him and that that's final because Kanda was the one who invited him.

So, basically. To sum up the evening, they jumped straight from light bickering to sexual innuendos, only to have things ruined by some repressed, unhappily-married man.

But the way back to the hotel is nice, it's very nice. They ended up having a little bit of alcohol with their meal and now Allen is feeling pleasantly buzzed, feeling the sea breeze on his face and inhaling the evening air, walking with Kanda by his side.

Their hands brush as they walk, just once. Allen kind of wants to reach for Kanda's hand but doesn't. The mood is really… not quite there.

Maybe tomorrow, he tells himself.

Allen is really… pleasantly surprised with how fun it was with Kanda, despite that one hitch.

He curses a little, realizing that he also forgot to appear charming at all times. He should be using the one thing that he has going for him, dammit!

Despite anything he did or didn't think, the look Kanda gives him as he goes into his room makes arousal stir in his abdomen, only to quickly dissolve into warm flutters as Kanda's door closes.

Was that a tease?

Allen goes to his room, imagining them together tomorrow.

The next day, during sightseeing, it requires an embarrassing amount of mental preparations to pull Lenalee aside. She blinks at him at first but soon enough he can see the unmistakable curiosity lighting up her eyes.

"Yes, Allen? My best friend in the entire world who I've never seen so nervous before?"

"Uhhh. Nooo, this is already going so bad." He puts a hand over his eyes, definitely not whining.

Her eyes sparkle more. "Yes?"

"Me and Kanda are. Going to eat out today. Okay?"

She grabs his arm, not very gently.

"Yes. Very okay. Yup." She's almost bouncing in place and they just stare at each other until she explodes. "Allen, what the fuck?!"

"Shhh. Lena, please." He's sure he's blushing as he nervously glances at Lavi and Kanda in the distance. Lavi is currently throwing chocolate-covered peanuts at Kanda, seeming like he really wants him to try to eat one mid-air and somehow not getting harmed for it. Kanda must be in a good mood because he only stares at him, looking mildly irritated. Allen is sort of torn because he really should go yell at them for wasting food but he's having a very important conversation here. He sees Kanda catch one and shove it right into Lavi's mouth and he feels satisfied enough. "So. Because of all that, I need a favor. Just a tiny one. Effortless for you, really."

She raises her eyebrows a little.

"Please. Please make sure Lavi doesn't hear a single word about this. Or at least say. Especially not within Kanda's earshot. I'm sure you can... distract him more than efficiently enough?" He gives her his most convincing smile and normally it would make her agree to almost anything but…

"You don't really think there is anything in this world that would stop him from getting wind of that, right?"

"Well, um… We already went out yesterday and he doesn't know that, does he?"

"You what!"

"L-Lena…"

"How was it? I mean it was obviously awesome since you're going again." Lenalee doesn't seem to really need his input. "Allen! That is so great."

"It is." He agrees, hiding his face in his hands for a moment because this is too early and he really wishes he didn't have to be having this conversation. She almost squeals and he has to put his hands on her shoulders, both to keep her from bouncing and to look into her eyes very seriously. "But it would be so much greater if Lavi doesn't fuck it up."

"Well, I could maybe convince him to go to the Italian restaurant from yesterday again? We were planning to eat out just once but he really liked it…"

Allen shakes his head emphatically. "No. Absolutely not. We're going there."

"You. You are. Going with Kanda to the most romantic restaurant in the entire area?"

"Y-yes…"

"Allen!"

"I know! Shhh."

"I'm just gonna warn you, okay? They have live performers. With violins."

"Oh my god." He's not panicking over people with violins. Or over the fact that the place was Kanda's first pick. "Lena. Back to the plan."

"I'm not sure if I have one… I mean, I can drag him away to some other place no problem but he'll definitely be suspicious. He'll ask questions, like why I didn't mention it before." She's frowning now, surely assessing her options.

Allen groans internally. He didn't want to have to say this.

"Lena. I'm sure you can distract him… a lot. Probably enough to end up having dinner via room service?"

"Oh." A light blush dusts her cheeks now. "Yeah, I could probably—"

"Please don't finish that sentence."

She giggles, swatting his shoulder.

Allen is mildly horrified because he is imagining what Lenalee is planning to do, even if she didn't really say anything and even if he's trying not to.

But at least it seems like they have a plan.

"They're probably, you know, busy," Allen tells Kanda, straight-faced. Somehow today he doesn't feel comfortable enough to be more graphic just to tease him.

Kanda grimaces lightly. "Whatever. Let's go then, no point in waiting for them."

"Yup."

Kanda gives him a glance, suspicious. "You're not gonna say they'll think we were taken by human traffickers if we don't let them know?"

Oops. Allen did say that once before, on the second day or so, when Kanda wanted to abandon Lavi and Lenalee in a wax figure museum full of impressions of famous people.

Allen might have forgotten someone else was also prone to being suspicious.

"I told Lenalee," he says after a pause, realizing that there is actually nothing wrong with saying that much.

Except that this causes Kanda's face to drop into a look of resignation.

"She's not going to tell Lavi…" Now Kanda's eyes narrow and Allen follows up, maybe a little too quickly to sound natural. "Let's go?"

Kanda doesn't ask him more questions on the way. Allen, in turn, tries really hard to come up with something to say but only has two things in his mind: Is his hair down on purpose this time? and He looks so beautiful like this. Neither option feels right as a conversation starter so the walk is completed in silence.

By some stroke of luck, they are not made to wait almost at all this time around. Their spot is also much better than last night. More… intimate.

Allen's heart is in his throat when he lowers his eyes to the menu. He doesn't take very long before he starts throwing Kanda occasional glances. Maybe he's being a little too lucky over here? It's so… it's so nice. Can he just say that? Will Kanda like it if he just says that?

"Beansprout," Kanda says eventually.

Allen lifts his head too-quickly, about to give in and say something, but thankfully he realizes that Kanda just wanted to signal to him that a restaurant employee is already waiting for his order. How in the hell did Allen miss the man approach?

He also didn't decide on anything at all. He rambles off a few items from the menu at random, whatever catches his eye. He's trying not to notice the waiter's knowing smile as he does so. Kanda orders his own pick and, when they are left alone again, turns to look at him. Allen can't tell if he's more annoyed or expectant.

Allen tries to get a hold of himself.

He can do this. This is technically… their second date, right?

It's fine. Probably.

"You're gorgeous. And especially with your hair like this. It's making me nervous," Allen finally says, a little breathy.

Kanda blinks at him then angles his face a little away, maybe embarrassed. He looks so… fetching.

Allen chuckles a little. "Are you embarrassed? …Kanda?" He cocks his head slightly at the end, flashing him a smile.

"Cocky motherfucker," Kanda answers, a little hoarse.

Allen loves it. He loves it.

"Why, thank you."

Be there as it may, Allen is really almost relieved there is no violins. Hopefully Lenalee and Lavi have just been here on some event night or something like that. Allen doesn't think he could handle violins. Not anymore. He didn't anticipate the complication of the tables here being really small.

If fact, they were so small and dainty that Allen was previously informed he will receive his dishes one at a time due to the limited space.

What this means in practice is that their knees are touching. The long tablecloth that covers their lower halves also makes Allen's imagination run wild. Like this, he couldn't possibly take romantic live music.

He finds the courage to spread his charm "Are you a romantic, Kanda? This is not really a place I would imagine you picking for a date with your frienemy."

"I didn't know you're my something, beansprout."

Allen smiles wider than he probably should, answers "You still won't call me Allen? I didn't hear you deny being a romantic. Wouldn't it be perfect to start calling me by my name now?"

Kanda smirks as he answers "On a second date? Who do you take me for?"

Allen genuinely laughs at that, disarmed. He decides he doesn't mind working for it if he really has to.

Fortunately or not, the violins do come in shortly after, the small group of live performers swiftly clamoring onto the stage.

The tune they start with is soft and, of course, romantic. He and Kanda do spend an embarrassing amount of time just looking at each other. It leaves Allen feeling incredibly warm inside. When their drinks, Kanda's food and the first portion of Allen's arrive, Allen is all too eager both for the deliciously-smelling pasta and the distraction it provides.

He's constantly very aware of every touch of Kanda's knees, his every look.

It all makes Allen really pay attention to the way he's eating, actually try to appear decently behaved. He doesn't really remember the last time he wanted to impress someone this badly.

Their waiter is obviously a little surprised with how quickly Allen is expecting more food but he's accommodated relatively quickly.

Which it good. It's really good because the violins change their tune to something a little more… erotic. Subtly so, but it's there. And Allen feels it. And Kanda must feel it too, in his own way, because the glances Allen catches from him are… heavier.

It's too hard to speak. Allen can only try to eat over whatever is stirring inside him.

He's really almost relieved when it's time to pay and he catches himself, thinking that it was not meant to be like this. But it's not like he's nervous, no. He just wants to be alone with Kanda, more alone than they could be in any restaurant.

As soon as they are outside, Allen welcomes the breeze against his warm face. Tonight it's not alcohol, they didn't have any.

They look at each other and Allen feels brave. He grabs Kanda's hand to lead him off to the side, down small steps leading to the beach.

The way back to the hotel feels very different than yesterday.

It's peacefully quiet, only the gentle whoosh of the waves accompanying them. Their hands unlinked when they paused to take off their flip flops to carry them and Allen doesn't move to grab him again, despite how nice it felt. They walk alongside each other, bare feet sinking into the slowly cooling sand, after a whole day of exposure to the sun.

They follow the shore in the general direction of the hotel. It's dark, but not too dark – the lights of the tourist-fueled nightlife illuminating the path from a short distance away.

They're walking slowly, clearly not very eager to make it back just yet. Or at least Allen knows that he feels that way. He hopes the same is true for Kanda, too.

"You know, Kanda…" Allen breaks the silence gently. "I really like this," he admits.

The answer doesn't come immediately.

"...you'd have to be more specific."

Allen laughs softly at that, the sound escaping him in a rush. It feels as if his chest is just too full to hold it in.

"Anything you thought about just now, chances are that's what I meant." Allen is smiling to himself, not brave enough to check Kanda's expression, but still trying to imagine it. Is he frowning? Is he blushing…? "Among other things. To be honest…" he pauses, biting his lip briefly. "There is more than I'd have imagined before."

Then, Kanda stops him. Much like how he did yesterday in his hotel room, by grabbing Allen's hand.

Only this time he doesn't let go. Not so fast. He tugs gently, making it so that they just stand there, facing each other.

Allen's heart is getting ready to leap out of his chest.

"Yeah, it's…" Kanda is frowning, but also his lips are parted, as if looking for the right words. When their eyes meet, Allen holds his breath. "It's nice."

Hearing something like this from Kanda, after their second date, holding hands… Allen thinks he doesn't need more encouragement.

He moves closer, just half a step. He's in Kanda's space and he feels a rush from that. "Nice enough that I could steal a kiss?" he whispers his question.

The touch of Kanda's lips, the warmth of them against his own, is enough of an answer. Allen's lips part on a sigh. The kiss feels electric. It's slow and careful but there is an edge to it, just something in the way Kanda deepens it in small surges against him.

He feels Kanda's hands on the small of his back and that's really what does it. Already on his way to being addicted to Kanda's lips, Allen wraps his arms around Kanda's neck and pulls him closer. The kiss deepens naturally from the action and Allen moans, just a little, as Kanda's tongue has him parting his lips.

Kanda makes a breathy noise through his nose, sounding a little like relief and Allen takes everything that Kanda wants to give him. The kiss is still relatively tame, exploratory and soft despite the use of tongues and the palpable desire.

It feels incredible. Allen can no longer tell if the whooshing in his ears is the waves or his blood, rushing inside him. But the breeze helps. Makes it possible not to go too far so out in the open.

When they part, Allen suddenly wishes they could be much more illuminated. But he can see enough, he thinks. The way Kanda's eyes look as the distant lights reflect in them, the small smile on his wet lips.

"One more," Allen whispers, feeling raw.

Kanda meets him for another kiss, much more innocent this time. It's also shorter but Allen adores it just the same. And then the way Kanda's soft, warm lips catch his bottom one between them, just lightly—

Allen's heart is pounding and he can feel Kanda's too, through his shirt – so thin that it could as well not even be there.

Suddenly, it feels like too much. It's really happening too fast, isn't it? They both try to catch their breath, maybe even more after the second kiss than the first one.

Allen lets his arms drop and he catches Kanda's hand just to shortly squeeze it in what he hopes feels like reassurance. He doesn't feel brave enough to really say anything though and he sees a lot of what he's feeling directed right back at him, in Kanda's gaze, still so close to his face.

The way to the hotel past that point is very short. It's also… quiet and they glance at each other from time to time, a little nervously.

Is this anything at all or were they just both… with nothing better to do? With Lavi and Lenalee busy with each other as they were.

They part in much the same manner, Allen saying "Goodnight, Kanda." He does give him a small smile as he says that, though unsure. The look Kanda gives him in return looks a little guarded but soft, Allen thinks.

Allen is a little inside his head the next day. He suddenly considers everything he should have before – if he was even sure enough of Kanda to risk the peace in their group of friends. Or… what would even change? What if Lavi would start annoying Kanda so much that someone would actually end up in a hospital? Either Lavi with something broken or Kanda with an aneurysm.

He can't decide what is more stupid – the things he now imagines or the fact that he never stopped to think before.

What if it's too late?

Granted, they only shared a kiss but a kiss was already plenty. Especially with how it felt.

Allen avoids direct answers to Lenalee's curious questions. He catches Kanda looking towards them more than once when he talks with her.

They are at a botanic garden, full of all kinds of exotic plants. Allen is finding it hard to enjoy the things around him though.

Kanda, on the other hand, is being more active than on the other days. He goes around with his camera, snapping photos according to his liking. It's no secret that this point of the trip was specifically planned with him in mind.

Allen is not sure if Lavi and Lenalee can feel something in the air or if it's for different reasons entirely but they are putting in extra effort to be interacting with them today. He says 'them' but… Kanda is really mostly busy with his photos, so that leaves Allen.

His friends are not questioning him about anything though, they are just pleasantly spending the day together.

It all really comes to a screeching halt in one particular moment. They are indoors and Allen is almost sure they passed some sign saying 'southeast Asia', marking this section of the display. He's ahead of everyone else at the moment, he thinks. He did actively try to leave the rest a little behind.

Some of the flowers inside here are especially impressive.

At one moment, Allen catches a soft shutter sound from a digital camera off to the side and turns. He sees Kanda there, lowering his camera and giving him a look. It's a hard to read kind of look and Kanda doesn't stay long enough for Allen to look more closely or ask any questions.

But even as Kanda walks away, Allen looks around. He searches for something, some kind of explanation.

There is.

There is a flower, one of the more majestic ones around. It's sort of usual. The base of the flower is red, very scale-like. In contrast, the blooming flower is white, looking kind of flimsy.

It's beautiful and Allen's face heats up as he struggles to wrap his head around what just happened.

He checks the name of the flower, wanting to remember it and knowing he probably won't. It's too hard to associate it with anything. 'Cheilocostus Speciosus, Crêpe Ginger'. Or, well. He does like crepes.

It doesn't take very long past that point for Allen to decide he really, really needs to talk to Kanda immediately.

It takes a while before he finds him again but that's good because he honestly needed some time to get over his tongue feeling so wooden in his mouth.

What should I say?

There must be something in his expression because Kanda actually gives him a small smile when they find each other. Allen's frantic search for the right words stops right there.

Fuck plans and reasons. Surely he can just—

"Kanda... Would you like to do something tomorrow? With me, I mean. I'm not really sure about the details yet but—. I'm sure we can sell Lavi and Lena something believable and just disappear for a day. If you want, we could even—"

Allen stops dead, because when he looks at Kanda, there is something really unsettling about the stare he's getting from him.

The silence feels much too long.

"We're going back home tomorrow," Kanda says. His voice sounds off.

Allen can only stare back at him blankly.

Home. Right. The place where he and Kanda are not even quite friends.

A place where they're not kissing on the beach.

Something inside Allen withers abruptly. He has a really hard time speaking to Kanda at all, afterwards.

The day when they're going back is so busy. The airport is kind of far and the plane is scheduled to take off just before noon. Allen barely exchanges a word with anyone that wouldn't be a part of general organizing.

In the plane, he sits next to Lenalee. It's one of those bigger planes, so the very middle consists of rows of four seats each. On Lenalee's other side, there is Lavi. Next to him, is Kanda.

If he tries to catch it, which he unfortunately does, he thinks he can hear Lavi constantly teasing Kanda about something. It's obvious by his tone that he's teasing but Allen can't hear the words.

There is a heavy, tight feeling in Allen's chest the entire flight. He sleeps as much as possible, because that makes it easier to deal with. Lenalee naps together with him, his head pressed against the top of hers.

The first time Allen wakes up back home, in his own bed, he immediately realizes what the heavy feeling in his chest was. And is.

He's scared. Honestly scared shitless.

Now that they're back, each thrown into the mess of their own business, will Kanda even… care? Granted, holiday flings kind of don't work so well when you know the person from back home, as a principle but…

They had their fun, they flirted a little. Kissed.

And it just doesn't— Well, it doesn't feel so real anymore, even with evidence of the trip strewn all around.

Allen spends next hours shuffling his feet from one corner of his apartment to another, never finding anything very substantial to do.

He grabs his phone more than once, toying with the idea of writing a message to Kanda. But he never actually does it.

It's when he's pulling out a pre-made pizza out of the freezer for an evening snack that the doorbell startles him out of his thoughts.

He abandons everything as-is, hoping that maybe, somehow…

Kanda is standing at his doorstep.

"Hey." Allen smiles a bit stupidly, not sure what to do with himself other than tightly grip the door frame to keep upright.

"Hey," Kanda offers back, his eyes kind of shifting before properly settling on Allen's face.

"Do you… Do you want to come in?"

Kanda just nods and Allen lets him step inside, closing the door with his heart almost leaping out of his chest.

"I brought food," Kanda says, awkwardly.

"I like food," Allen answers easily, tone perfectly serious.

It achieves its purpose, because Kanda rolls his eyes at him with a soft scoff, visibly relaxing.

"I know. That's why it's a four-people portion. For you. And one for me."

Allen really thinks that he might be more than halfway in love with the man already.

He can't say as much though.

"Hah, well, thanks…" Allen's eyes drop to the floor and he feels more pensive than he has probably had his entire life. "So, um— wanna watch something as we eat?"

"Yeah, it's whatever." Kanda frowns in thought, looking around for a moment. Then he turns back to Allen. "Look. It's just—"

"Yeah?"

"We— have a thing, right? It wasn't—"

Allen gives an embarrassingly heavy breath of relief.

"Yeah. I mean, I definitely want your thing. If you want mine. I mean," Allen laughs helplessly, burying his burning face in his hands, eyes peeking through. "Shit. That's not what I was trying to say."

Kanda looks kind of stunned for a couple of seconds and then he— laughs at him. Honestly laughs at him. It's short and quiet, with some sort of edge to it, but it's there. And it's just— the first time Allen has ever seen or heard him do that. He decides he likes it. A lot. And suddenly it doesn't even matter that he's made a blubbering idiot out of himself. He slowly drops his hands back down, smiling through his blush.

"Okay, good," Kanda says when he seemingly calms down, only to still snort at him pointedly. "Where do I put the food."

And just like that, Allen is very sure. They'll both definitely make this real.