I just wrote this because the idea of accidentally stoned!Beckett and unexpectedly stoner!Castle with a snack pocket is hilarious to me for some reason.
This is a two parter. Second part should be up in a few days. Rated hard T and potentially transitioning to M for drug use and language and Clerks quotes. Cough, and maybe bonetown.
I have little doubt that this will be just a tad ooc, and I'm fine with it. Takes place in some made up part of an au mid/late, pre 47 seconds drama s4, just because I'm a pretty big fan of Captain Gates and I'm pretty over reading sad stuff.
"Uhhh, I think my stomach is going to eat itself."
A harsh pout crossed her face as her stomach growled. 'When was the last time I ate? Last night?' As if answering her silent query, her stomach let out another audible gurgle.
Detective Kate Beckett; stoic warrior woman, unflinching paragon of justice was on the verge of potentially starving to death. 'Maybe literally, if he doesn't hurry back with my damn burger!'
With a heavy sigh, she wrapped her arms around her stomach and let her head drop down, thumping loudly on her desk. "Uhhhh. What's taking him so long?"
A brief glance up at the clock showed that Castle had been gone just over an hour, she noted with a sour face. "Remy's is like ten minutes away, did he get lost?" she sulked, glaring death at the blazer he'd left hanging over the back of his chair.
Kate continued to contemplate the navy blazer, cocking her head to the side. 'Hmm, Castle's jacket. I just know he's got snacks in that thing. Castle always has snacks.' She faintly grinned, thinking of all the times she'd been offered various treats out of his ever present stash; beef jerky, little bags of chips, granola bars, even a cold chicken sandwich once that he swore up and down was 'fresh enough' that still made her face twist in disgust several weeks later.
With a few moments of starvation driven consideration and a final glance at the elevator confirming that he most definitely was not back yet, Kate reached for the jacket and started rooting around in the pocket.
With a hoot of triumph, her hand reappeared with a ziplock baggie containing two chocolate chip cookies. 'Hot damn, they're good ones, too!' She grinned widely and bounced a bit in the chair, mouth already watering over the giant chunks of chocolate liberally spread throughout the pilfered baked goods.
'I mean if he were here, he'd give me one. Right?'
"Right." and with a nod, she carefully peeled the bag open.
With no hesitation, she snatched one of the cookies and quickly dropped the one remaining back in his jacket pocket, faintly humming the Mission Impossible theme song. Just as she brought the cookie to her face to take a bite the elevator opened revealing a wide eyed Castle, arms full of Remy's takeout bags and looking slightly harassed.
She froze with her mouth and eyes wide open.
'Crap.'
Her eyes bulged, and she did the only sensible thing she could think of at the time.
She crammed the entire cookie in her mouth.
"So sorry to keep you waiting, Beckett. They had a grill down and the wait was just brutal!"
Castle hustled up to her desk, dumping two takeout bags on Ryan and Esposito's desk as he passed. "Both bags are the same, take your pick." he jabbered out as he threw himself in his chair after depositing her strawberry milkshake on her desk.
He stopped and stared at Kate, her cheeks bulged out like a chipmunk, chewing as hard and fast as she could.
"Hungry, Detective?"
She could do nothing but nod rapidly, still giving the baked good the business. As she swallowed her mouthful, and helped it down with a pull off of her coffee, her head cocked to the side and her nose scrunched up, a look of slightly disgusted confusion crossed her face.
That cookie had the oddest aftertaste.
The clock continued to slowly creep toward quitting time, Castle continued to twitch and fidget in his chair, her paperwork pile continued to make absolutely zero progress toward being finished.
Kate Beckett's train of thought was flying down weird street at a thousand miles an hour with no brakes.
'I don't feel right.'
Beckett pulled her lip between her teeth and continued to contemplate the cursor on her computer screen, slowly drawing circles around the various icons. A soft fuzzy buzzing feeling was beginning to take root at the base of her spine, her face felt strangely warm and tight, her eyes were heavy and itchy, and her thoughts were racing and jumping around in a suspiciously Castle-esque fashion.
She glared at the Remy's cup sitting on her desk, eyes narrowing with suspicion.
'Something is definitely not right.'
Castle noticed, with mounting concern, that Beckett had been staring at her computer screen for the last ten minutes doing nothing but moving the cursor in lazy figure eights, chewing on her bottom lip viciously, and tapping her heel on the hardwood floor.
Tap, tap, tap, tap
"Uh, Beckett. You alright?" he asked hesitantly, bumping her left leg with his knee. "No offense, but you're acting kinda…weird." With a startle her head snapped up and she locked eyes with him, confusion twisting her eyebrows and the visible vein in her forehead seemed to pulse in time with her tapping heel.
Her eyes were completely bloodshot and a little hazy.
'Oh no.'
That was a face that Richard Castle was very familiar with.
With a shaking hand, Castle reached down into his jacket pocket, feeling around for the ziplock bag containing his special brand of cookies.
His stomach sunk in terror and his heart started beating alarmingly against his ribs when he only felt one in the bag.
"Aw, fuck."
Comically slowly, her head tilted to the side and a goofy smile broke out across her face "Castle? Hi. What's up?" His stomach twisted harshly and his heart skipped a beat. The wide, beautiful smile that broke across her face was enough to freeze him in place, shame digging deep into his guts.
'Oh god, she's gonna be so so mad at me.' A grimace rushed across his face and his eyes snapped shut.
"Aw, fuck."
With that same vacant, radiant smile her head tilted to the side and she reached out and poked at his knee that remained pressed against her thigh. "What's up, Rick?" she husked, and all the blood that had been pulsing in his temples shot straight south.
'God, she is so attractive that it's actually a little bit upsetting.'
His guts twisted harshly with an unholy fusion of arousal and mind bending terror, hating himself for wishing she would call him Rick more often and terrifyingly certain that she stood a pretty good chance of putting holes in him at some point today.
His stomach sank even further as he realized with a harsh clarity that he stood a very real chance of being kicked out of Kate Beckett's life completely over this.
"Uh, yeah. Could you come with me? To the break room?" He asked, with a slight warble to his voice."Please?" The final plea coming out as nearly a whisper. Quickly clearing his throat, he continued, "I've gotta tell you something kind of important and I really really don't want an audience." He quickly stood and offered her his hand, obviously not planning to take no for an answer.
With a little smirk, Beckett took his offered hand and stood up, lightly wobbling as she reached her feet. "What, you gonna ask me out, Rick?" The snap on the K and the sexy little smirk on her face did nothing to calm him down and the hand that she held trembled harshly, his palms becoming unattractively sweaty.
This was quite honestly one of Castle's worst nightmares manifesting in real life. Directly in front of him.
"Seriously, what's wrong? You look terrified." This uncharacteristic sweet, genuine concern was kind of freaking him out, too.
And was making him feel worse by the second.
As she took a step around her desk, she wobbled slightly and was kept upright as Castle quickly put his other hand to her lower back, offering her some stability. Without thought, she leaned further into his hand with a gusty sigh, pressing her shoulder into his chest and making his heart leap around violently.
Castle hysterically made a mental note to schedule an appointment with his doctor. Probably not a bad time to check on the ole' heart health.
"Uhg. I don't feel good." She shook her head, trying to figure out why her brain suddenly felt like it was sloshing around in green jello.
'And why green specifically?'
With a harsh sigh, Castle drug his hand into his hair, leaving it standing straight up in an impressive peak.
Beckett took one look at the wreckage of his once pristine hairdo and snorted so violently that her eyes watered before devolving into a slightly manic giggle fit.
Richard Castle was now one hundred percent panicking.
He frantically glanced around before realizing that nobody had caught onto the nearly crying detective yet. Throwing caution to the wind, he threaded his arm around her shoulders and forcibly frog marched her into the break room, snagging his jacket as he passed.
Castle dropped the sobbing, cackling mess on the couch before run-walking across the room to throw the door shut.
With shaking hands and a balled up stomach, Castle walked back across the room, dragging a chair behind him and placed it in front of the nearly hyperventilating detective. He sat down heavily in the seat, took both of her hands in his, and waited quietly while Beckett slowly forced her breathing back under control.
He reached up and brushed a tear off of her now bright red face with his thumb, a sad smile on his face. She ran her hand through her hair, blowing out a breath and shook her head, brows pulling back down in confusion.
"I don't know what's wrong with me, Castle. I just couldn't stop! And it wasn't even that funny." She wiped the last of the tears out of her eyes, smudging her eyeliner slightly and continued without taking much of a breath. "I feel like I'm on drugs that I don't remember taking. If someone messed with my food, I'll happily go down and arrest the hell out of a fry cook!"
She was babbling.
Castle flinched harshly.
Giving her hands a squeeze, he released them and sat back in his chair.
"Can I start with an apology?"
A grin broke out over her face and she regarded him with questions in her eyes. "Come on, Castle. Talk to me." She leaned back and tossed her left leg over her right and crossed her arms, her head tilting to the side. "I'm going to need you to spell it out for me because not much is making sense to me right now."
With a heavy sigh, Castle reached into the pocket of his jacket and grabbed the remaining cookie and tossed it on the couch next to her. Kate's eyebrow hitched up and suspicion started to sharpen in her glassy eyes. She looked from the deceptively casual cookie up to the large, fidgeting man sitting in front of her and narrowed her eyes.
"Castle?"
Castle flinched again and pulled nervously at the wrist of his shirt.
"So, funny story."
Nothing about the look on his face was indicative of telling any kind of funny story.
"I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that you ate one of these?" He said lightly, gesturing at the package on the couch.
"I did. And I'm sorry that I snooped in your coat. In my defense, I was really hungry. And you were taking a really long time." She picked up the baked good and contemplated it. "I'm going to go out on that same limb you just did and assume that there's something other than cookie in this cookie?"
'Ok, she's calm so far.'
"Uh, yeah. So I'll just get straight to it." Castle slouched down putting his elbows on his knees and his head into his hands. "That has cannabis in it, Beckett." He pressed on, talking down toward the floor between his feet. "A lot."
Kate's head thumped back against the backrest of the couch and she sighed harshly. She brought her hands up, digging her thumbs into her eyes.
"Jesus Christ, Castle!" Kate's eyes snapped down to glare laser beams into the top of his head.
"You brought drugs into a police station!? What is wrong with you!?" She hissed out in a whispered shout. A breath blasted out of her lungs before her eyes snapped wide open and her jaw dropped. "Holy shit, I'm an on duty police officer that's stoned in a goddamn police station!"
'Ok, she's no longer calm.'
Castle's shoulders hunched down further and further until he reached the point of nearly being in a ball. He finally raised his head, and Beckett was shocked out of her ranting to see he had tears in his eyes. "I'm so sorry, Kate." He whispered, voice cracking as her name left his lips.
Beckett's eyes widened completely and her breath started to drag in more harshly. First chewing violently on her lip, hands shaking, and legs bouncing. A keening whine started somewhere in her chest as a panic attack started to take hold. Her eyes welled up as her lips trembled.
"Castle! I could lose my job!" She wheezed out, her hands bunching up in her shirt. "Dammit, What am I going to do?" Kate's eyes flitted around the room, looking more like a cornered animal than the razor sharp detective she was.
Taking a fortifying breath, Castle straightened up and snatched her shaking hands, holding them tight and forcing her to look at him. "Take a deep breath with me, Kate." He took a deep breath, and she mimicked him, dragging in a shaking breath.
"Ok, I'm going to get you out of this." He slowly brought her hands up and lightly pressed her knuckles to his lips, shocking her into calm.
A blush boiled out across her cheeks and combined with the wild, teary eyes, shaking shoulders, and heaving chest, she looked every bit a hot mess.
He hated himself a little more.
'God, she's beautiful.'
The plan was simple.
Beckett would move unsteadily to the ladies room while Castle made his move toward Gates' office.
Just talk to Gates.
Get her to let Beckett leave early.
Easy.
Castle tapped lightly on the door frame of Gates' office. "Uh, sir?" He poked his head into the office, worried slant to his face that he really didn't have to fake very hard.
"Mr. Castle, I've got no time." Gates glared up at the writer, her dislike burning in her eyes like embers. "Go bother Detective Beckett."
"Yeah, sir. That's why I'm here. Beckett is sick. She just flew into the ladies room." He stiffened his jaw, holding onto his poker face in a white knuckled death grip.
Gates sighed, dropping her glasses on her desk and pinning Castle with another venomous look. "Send her in here."
'Shit.'
"Uh, okay. I'll just go check on her, then." His mind spun with frantic contingencies, the plan they had concocted really hadn't made it this far.
As he approached the ladies' room, Kate was making her way out. Her eyes were wide and darting around, a sheen of sweat dampened her hair, and he could see a visible tremor in her hands as she made her way toward him.
Castle was painfully ashamed to note that this was as scared as he had ever seen badass Detective Kate Beckett outside of a bullet to the chest.
'Because of me.'
"Did you handle it?" she whispered harshly as Castle got close. "I have to get out of here!"
"Yeeeeah. Gates wants to see you." He responded with a slight cringe.
A shrill, piercing whine resonated out of her chest and he found himself feeling about two inches tall.
"Fortunately, you actually look ill, so this works out for us!" he said with a large, fake, toothy grin that made it nowhere near his eyes.
"I am going to shoot you, Castle!"
Waving away her murderous intentions, he grasped her hand and wrapped an arm around her trembling shoulders, ignoring the way her entire body tightened up. "Be cool, Detective. Just lean on me, let your voice shake a little, and say you're sick! Easy!" He whispered in her ear as he led her unsteadily toward the iron gates.
As they breached the office doors, Gates looked up, did a double take, and both eyebrows hopped up to her hairline.
"Detective, you look terrible. Go home. And take Scooby Doo with you."
Castle had to bite his lip to keep from responding 'ruh roh, Raggy'.
'This is actually going way better than I thought it would!'
Castle could feel the woman under his arm tensing to respond and quickly realized that may just be a non ideal situation, given the circumstances and the particular captain involved.
With a quick 'Later, sir!', he abruptly wheeled her around, nearly dragging her back into the bullpen. "Take the W and keep walking." He muttered out of the corner of his mouth.
As the pair rounded the doorway, they ran smack into a grinning pair of detectives.
With identical smirks, Esposito crossed his arms while Ryan pointed at the arm that joined the pair before them.
"You two are lookin' mighty cozy. Got something you wanna share with the class?" Esposito cracked while Ryan began to show a bit of concern on his face. "Hey Beckett, you alright?" Ryan said with a slight grimace. "You look rough."
"Nothing to share, boys. Our dear detective here seems to be a bit sick, so I'm going to make sure she gets home alright."
Kate glared at the large body pressed up against her side. "Must be something I ate." She bit out, wobbling around a bit as he flinched.
He was flinching a lot around Beckett today.
Both of the detectives threw up finger crucifixes and hissed harshly at the word 'sick'. "Get her out of here, bro. I ain't gettin' sick! I ain't had nothing for almost a year now." The partners fled behind their desk, keeping a large distance between them and the clear and present threat to their well being.
With all work related obstacles apparently overcome, Castle hustled the weebling and wobbling detective into the elevator and hammered the button to take them to the first floor.
As the doors closed, Beckett's shoulders tightened up and she glared over at Castle.
"You can let me go now." The words came out exhausted, and Castle felt his stomach sink into the floor.
Rather than release her, Castle threw caution to the wind.
'Jesus take the wheel.'
He instead brought his other arm up and drew her in, wrapping his arms around her and pressed his face into the hair of the side of her head, whispering apologies, hands and voice shaking. Beckett's whole body tightened up and resisted briefly before she slowly and reluctantly relaxed into his shoulder.
'He always smells so good.'
Kate found herself smiling slightly into his shoulder before shaking her head, unable to summon up the spark of anger she was looking for. "I'm still really mad at you, Castle." She said, her voice muffled from having her face pressed into the juncture of his neck and shoulder.
Castle smiled slightly, running his hands up her back. "I completely understand. You have every right to be." he murmured. "I really am very sorry."
He firmly grabbed her shoulders and pressed back so he could see her face. A faint, loopy smile flowed across her face and he couldn't help but just look at her.
Her eyes were blazing glassy red, her hair was a tossed around curly mess, eyeliner smudged with faint tracks of black banding down her cheeks.
'It's like I made you in a computer. If I had to write my dream woman, I wouldn't change a thing.'
Castle had to clench his thighs a bit and take deep breaths. A stoned, just a little bit affectionate, adorably roughed up Kate Beckett was an imminent danger to keeping his libido in check.
"Would you give me a chance to explain?" His smile trembled slightly. "I know I don't really deserve it, but I promise I have a good explanation."
With a defeated sigh, Kate nodded slightly and let her forehead thump back into his sternum, using maybe a bit more force than strictly necessary. "It better be good. You're just lucky that our escape plan worked out so well. I'm too out of it to fight with you right now." she muttered.
As the elevator slowed and the door began to open, Castle took a step back to regain a more work appropriate separation. With a moment of consideration, he held his arm out to the loopy detective with a small, hopeful smile.
Beckett sighed lightly and hooked her arm though his, allowing the large man to navigate her though the chaos of the 12th's lobby. The pair weaved their way through the crush of people and finally stepped out into the frosty late afternoon air.
"If someone had told me this was how my day was going to go, I would have just called in today."
Castle smiled slightly and continued to guide them down the bustling sidewalk, eyes roving for the nearest cab. With a slight pause and a small grin, he diverted the pair from their path and aimed for a small bench. With a light push, Castle plonked her down on the bench. "I'm going to grab us a coffee, five minutes Detective."
Beckett whined a bit, then snapped her teeth shut hard. Because she is Kate Beckett, and Kate Beckett does not whine. "It's cold, Castle. I just wanna go home." The cold, dry air was making her eyes water and she crammed her hands down in her pockets to escape the uncomfortable breeze.
Undeterred, Castle just grinned back at her and kept walking toward the small coffee shop, holding up his hand like he was asking for a high five. "Five minutes, Beckett!"
Kate sat back on the bench with a huff and allowed her mind to wander as Castle disappeared down the sidewalk. Her eyes began following the endless flood of people, all of them doing their own thing with no regard for anyone around them.
Further up the sidewalk, a bearded homeless man was sitting on another bench, strumming at a beat up acoustic and his harsh voice belting out about being a creep and a weirdo. 'It's funny. I actually like his version better.'
Tapping her heel with the improv street soundtrack, she cast view further out to watch the crush of traffic. 'Like an anthill. People just swarming around, following the one in front of them.'
With startling clarity, Beckett understood why Castle spent so much time just sitting in random places and watching people.
And there he was.
She looked up to see Castle holding out a cup, another cup held in his other hand. A small smile still on his face, and Kate couldn't help but just stare.
'The way he looks at me sometimes is terrifying.'
"I know I'm good looking, Beckett, but it's rude to stare."
She narrowed her eyes at him, a mocking glare. "Never stopped you, Castle." She reached out and snagged the offered cup and sat back, wrapping her cold fingers around the nearly uncomfortably warm cup.
As he sat down next to her, Castle held out a small white paper package. With a start, she realized it was…a damn cookie. Her right eyebrow cocked up high and she held up the small package up in front of his face.
"Seriously, Castle?" she deadpanned.
With a snicker and toothy grin, he rummaged around in his jacket pocket. "Still too soon for that joke, then?" and to her shock and awe at the man's pure audacity, he pulled out the single remaining modified cookie from his pocket and crammed it in his mouth!?
"The hell, Castle!?" Her eyes snapped wide, and shock kept her from doing much more than staring at him as he happily chewed, swallowed, and took a pull from his coffee, hissing and hanging his tongue out of his mouth when he realized that the coffee was indeed still extremely hot.
With a sigh, Castle sat back and tossed his left foot up on his right knee and huffed out a pleased sigh. "Just joining you on your journey, detective. Seemed like a shame to be left out."
Dropping her head into her hand and rubbing at her temple, she realized that a lot of things about Castle's sometimes bizarre behavior were suddenly making a lot more sense.
And his snack pocket made way more sense.
"I'm a cop, Castle! This whole situation is completely ridiculous, even by your standards." She gestured lightly at the empty ziplock that he was currently tying in knots. "I know we've gotten closer but you're putting me in a pretty uncomfortable spot."
"Bah, you're a homicide detective, not narcotics. If you were gonna arrest me you would have already." He spoke flippantly, but she could clearly see the apology written across his face.
With a flip of his wrist, the knotted bag sailed across the two foot space between him and a small trash can. "Today has already been a comedy of errors so let's just roll with it."
He reached up and grabbed at the hand she was currently using to rub at her aching temple, lacing their fingers together. Kate's shoulders slumped, reluctantly accepting that Castle was going to be extra handsy today, but felt that she couldn't let it slide without at least a comment. "Don't think that I'm just going to let you paw at me. I don't have it in me to fight about it right now."
The edge was dulled from her words when she briefly squeezed before rubbing at the side of his hand with her thumb.
The edge was further dulled when she pressed herself further into his side.
Because it's cold out and he's a human furnace.
She could lie to herself all she liked because she was the boss of herself.
'My inner monologue has gone off the rails. This is nonsense.'
"You're just lucky I feel pretty good." She said in a breathy whisper. "Otherwise, you'd be having a really bad time right now."
The pair continued to watch the never ending drone of traffic, both lost in their thoughts. The homeless man started to strum a new tune, and a wide smile broke out over Kate's face.
It started out as a faint hum and before long, she was lightly singing along with the man, bouncing her foot along in time with the song.
The sun had begun to dip behind the buildings, and Castle was captivated by the ethereal swaying, singing creature next to him.
"I know you'll be a star in somebody else's sky, but why Why, why can't it be, oh can't it be mine?"
Kate was snapped out of her astral traveling by the fingers still loosely wrapped around hers squeezing. Then she realized that she'd been so caught up in the song that she was giving an impromptu performance.
The wide eyes and the glowing blush that flew across her cheeks nearly stopped his heart.
"That was gorgeous, Beckett. Vedder has nothing on you."
She dropped her head, hiding behind her hair and feeling embarrassed all the way to her bones. With a start, she realized that Castle was now crouching in front of her, looking at her in that way that was perilously close to triggering her fight or flight response.
"I'm serious. Thank you for letting me experience that." He stood, brushing some dust off of his pants and offered his hand once more. "C'mon Beckett. Let's get somewhere warm. I still owe you an explanation."
Before she knew it, Castle had them bundled up in a cab and had directed the driver to his loft.
"Castle, I really don't have it in me to socialize right now." She huffed at him. "I love your mother, but I think she's going to be a bit too much for me tonight." This dragged a sharp laugh out of Castle who was quick to reassure her that the loft was indeed empty for the night.
"Mother is off doing unspeakable things in the Hamptons and Alexis is at a student council conference for the weekend. The loft shall be our Fortress of Solitude!"
Kate knew things the evening was going to be an extra weird one when her brain automatically capitalized Fortress of Solitude.
Castle continued, taking her silence for acceptance. "We'll order a pizza, and I'll even get black olives on it."
Her eyebrows hiked up high, being well aware of Castle's often stated disdain for all things black olives. "With an offer like that, how can I say no?" She actually was genuinely shocked because he really really didn't like black olives.
She was also slightly shocked at how goddamn good pizza sounded right now.
"But only on half. Because yuck." he pouted, sticking his tongue out like a toddler. 'Ah, there he is.'
The rest of the trip was spent in silence. Kate leaned against the window, watching the city lights pass by. 'When was the last time I just sat and watched the city go by?'
She knew that by all rights she should be absolutely furious. But she also knew that this was the first time in years that she honestly felt relaxed.
'It can't happen again. But I suppose I also can't see the harm in enjoying it while it lasts.'
She nudged Castle's leg, grabbing his attention. "How long is this going to last, anyway? I haven't been..like this since college and this is a whole different experience."
Leave it to Castle to have weapons grade weed in the form of gourmet chocolate chip cookies.
Castle leaned back and sucked at his teeth for a moment. "I'm a lot bigger than you and our tolerance is undoubtedly on completely different levels. Probably til bed, honestly."
Kate's eyes bugged out a bit and she shot a sharp look at him. "Seriously? That's like five more hours!" she hissed out. She then thought back to the fact that he had been carrying two cookies rather than just one. "How many of those do you eat a day!?"
Castle hmmm'd a bit and looked over at her with that same faint smile on his face. "Probably two or three. Depends on the day." and her jaw dropped.
"How the hell do you function? I can't even get my thoughts straight right now!"
And she couldn't. It was like trying to scoop water with a net. And the net was made of snakes.
'Because that makes sense.'
"Part of it is because you took a pretty substantial dose with zero tolerance and weren't expecting it." He shrugged. "I'm just glad you didn't completely freak out in the break room." He closed his eyes and sighed. "It's part of the explanation. This is just how I get through my days. Has been since I was a teenager."
The rest of the ride passed in silence, the city lights passing them by.
I feel like Beckett would be a pearl jam and radiohead fan over smooth jazz. Should I write porn in part 2? I kinda wanna try it.
Part 2 will feature pizza, conversations about debilitating ADD and self medicating, Clerks, sweet light dom!Kate, a vape pen, and stoner boners. And maybe some fuckin.
