After they'd arrived home Kagome informed Sango and Miroku of InuYasha's passing, and asked them to return to the village and break the news, before breaking it to the children. As she'd expected they were devastated, she'd held them as they cried, trying herself to hold back her tears. She hadn't seen Sesshomaru since they entered the manor. Figuring he was probably working she laid down in the pillows in the den and waited for him to return. She woke the next morning to find herself still in the pillows, with a note next to her from Yueyui.

'I took the children to the garden as to not disturb you. As you were uncovered I provided a

blanket to you, your meal is on the table. -Yueyui'

Kagome looked from the note to the table, a covered platter sat there. Standing, she waked to the table she lifted the cover slightly before deciding she didn't to eat and replaced the cover. She walked into her room, laid down, and slept more. Every day more of the same. Wake, eat, sleep.


It'd been three weeks since they arrived back home, and though Sesshomaru said they would talk about her decision when they got home, they hadn't, Sesshomaru seemed to once again be the closed off individual she first met. She'd gone back to sleeping in her own room, not that she slept much, and stopped any form of training. Sesshomaru never came back to the family wing, he spent all of his time in his study and when she'd gone to see him she was turned away by one of the guards. Unsure of what to do she returned to her room. She'd tried to visit him every day during the three weeks only to be turned away every time. Finally she'd had enough. She grabbed her blade and marched down to his study, once again the guard turned to turn her away before noticing her blade. She'd been sending reiki into it since she left the family wing.

"Move or I'll cut you down." She growled to the guard who was smart enough not to piss off the woman who could purify him on a whim. He backed away from the door never

taking his eyes off her blade as she pushed the door open. What she found inside stopped her anger in it's tracks. Sesshomaru was asleep at his desk, he had dark circles under his eyes, his skin was pale and slightly gray and his once sleek hair was dull and lackluster. The noise from her threatening the guard as well as the sound of the opening of the door had failed to rouse him. She sheathed her blade and closed the door behind her as she entered the room. His desk was littered with papers, many were notes to the families of fallen soldiers. She walked to his side to find that he'd knocked a stack of papers to the floor, quietly she picked up the papers and made them into a neat pile, before straightening the papers on his desk. She watched as his body rose and fell as he breathed, preparing to have to shield herself she tapped on Sesshomaru's arm slightly to wake him. As expected he jumped to attack whatever had touched him and her barrier immediately popped into place around her.


When Sesshomaru's claws hit reiki instead of flesh his brain put together who he was attacking. He recomposed himself and looked at the miko before him. He wasn't sure what he expected to see on her face, he'd assume terror since he'd just attacked her, but there was no sign of terror on her face, not even shock, just sadness. Her barrier fell and she walked to him, she looked so sad, her once bright eyes were now slightly sunken and dull, her soft hair now tied low and unbrushed, and her vibrant healthy skin slightly sagging, she looked malnourished. She slid her arms around his waist a buried her face into his chest before sobbing. Sesshomaru wrapped his arms around her as she cried.

"Why didn't you come back? I was so alone, I needed you, why?" She said as she continued to cry. Sesshomaru bit his bottom lip in anger, he'd been so caught up in his own grief he'd forgotten about hers. Yes, he'd just lost his brother, but he'd spent so much time hating him, she'd lost her best friend, someone who she'd cared enough about to leave her own time permanently to be with. Someone who'd broken her heart, but she stilled cared for, she'd lost the only person who she'd ever be able to speak to about her family and them know who they are, having met them. She lost her last connection to home. Sesshomaru thought about that relationship, the kind of thing he could never give her, the kind of thing he could never replace, but still he didn't want to give her up, he'd left her to feel completely alone, and that thought made his chest ache.

"I'm sorry, Kagome." He said quietly before picking her up and cradling her in his arms. Opening the door he walked pasted his guard who bowed quickly at the sight of his lord. He kept the Miko cradled in his arms as he walked back to the family wing. Once he'd entered his room he noticed the lack of the Miko's scent there, she hadn't been sleeping in his room, he'd been so used to her being in there before they left it never occurred to him that she wouldn't use his room. He'd never given her permission to be in his room without him. It made his chest ache more, she thought he'd completely abandoned her, that he no longer wanted her, she must have gone back to sleeping in her own room he realized. He looked in the mirror as he passed it, he didn't even look like himself, he'd though he'd fared better than she, but he'd been mistaken. He'd continued his way past his bed and towards his bathing chamber, once inside he sat the Miko down.

"Kagome, we're going to bathe can you undress yourself?" He asked softly. The Miko's eyes seemed to stare out at nothing but she nodded and began to undress. Sesshomaru disrobed and entered the water as she slowly removed items of clothing. Once nude she sat down at the edge of the water, not entering more than her legs, Sesshomaru lifted the Miko carefully and sat her in the water, she seemed almost dead inside, not moving to do anything. Sesshomaru carefully began to wash her hair and watched as her head leaned slightly into his fingers as he massaged the shampoo into her hair. She softly tilted her head back as he began to rinse her hair out, cupping water in his hands and pouring it on her hair until the suds were completely gone. He retrieved the a sponge and the body soaps and began to wash her, she was still relatively spaced out and didn't fight being bathed. Once she was cleaned he wetted his hair to begin washing it, The Miko had moved towards him and started to lather his hair, slowly and meticulously, just as he had with her, she washed his hair and lathered all the way down to his scalp before rinsing his hair. He bathed himself then lifted the Miko from the water.

"How are you feeling Kagome?" He asked her as he sat her down and began to dry her.

"Tired." was all she said. Once they were both dry he grabbed a small basket and led the Miko back to his room. He placed the basket out of the way and lifted the Miko to the bed and placed her in the center before climbing onto the bed and grabbing the basket. He pulled out a small bottle of lavender oil and began to massage it into the Miko's shoulders, back, and arms. He could feel the tension in her body releasing and tell she was starting to drift to sleep, putting the basket of oils on the floor, he lifted the covers and helped the Miko slide under the blankets where he wrapped his arms around her and they drifted to sleep.


Kagome woke to the sun shining brightly into the room, to her surprise she found herself still wrapped in Sesshomaru's sleeping embrace, usually he was awake by now, it looked to be mid-afternoon, but she wouldn't wake him, it was obvious by how she'd found him yesterday that he hadn't been sleeping well either. She was decidedly still tired so she let herself drift back to sleep in his arms. It was after nightfall when she woke once more, Sesshomaru was awake this time absentmindedly twirling her hair in his fingers.

"Welcome back to the land of the living. How did you sleep?" He asked quietly.

"Best sleep I've had in months." she said as she nuzzled closer to his chest, "You?" she

asked.

"Hn." he responded.

"Didn't you have work to do?" She asked, thinking about all the papers left on his desk.

'Hn." He replied once more, "However, they can wait one more day, I've spent too much

time away from my family, I've honestly not seen the children once since we came home."

Kagome's stomach growled loudly, and Sesshomaru let out an unexpected laugh.

"Perhaps we should feed the oni in your stomach before we continue our conversation." He

said before his stomach let out a similar noise.

"Perhaps so." Kagome responded while giggling.

Sesshomaru dressed Kagome in a set of his garbs, they were massive on her, but she looked adorable. The thought crossed his mind to just move her into his room, while he dressed himself. It wasn't as if she was against being his mate, and once mated she'd share his room anyways. They made their way to the kitchen to find the chef dozing next to the fire in a chair. Sesshomaru cleared his throat loudly startling the chef awake. The chef jumped to attention and bowed to him.

"My Lord, I didn't expect to see you here so late in the evening. How may I help you?" he asked.

"Neither myself nor Lady Kagome have had a proper meal since we've been back, make us something filling and have it brought to the family den." Sesshomaru replied, the chef bowed and ran into a side room to wake his staff. Once the food order was placed they returned to the den and sat in the pillows. The Miko moved close to him and leaned her head against his arm.

"I meant what I said that day," she said quietly, "it wasn't just a whim, I'd been thinking about it those two days I was on bed rest. I was so heartbroken, and the thought of what if it was you, I couldn't stand that. As much as losing InuYasha hurt, the thought of losing you made me feel like I'd been torn in two." Her head was tilted down and her gaze was focused on her knees. "I want to be your mate, I want to have a family with you, though any offspring would be hanyo, and I know you have such a distaste for them. Perhaps it's for the best we don't mate or have children, what would your subjects say, their lord mated to a human, siring hanyo." She stopped speaking and just stared down. Her scent was once again like the forest on a rainy day, she was so depressed, it made his chest feel tight knowing that he'd made her feel this way. He moved to wrap his arms around her and pulled her body close to his.

"Kagome," he said as he leaned her back slightly to look her in the eyes, "I love you. What people will say doesn't mean anything to me, human or not I chose to be with you, no one else. I asked you to be my mate, I'd never had the intention of taking one before you. Nothing in this world would make me happier than to be mated to you. As for siring hanyo, I accepted my brother into my family, and I would never turn away my own child for being the product of my love for you." Kagome could feel the intensity in the words he spoke as he stared deeply into her eyes. His image before her became blurred as tears welled in her eyes and he captured her lips in a possessive kiss. The kiss seemed to go on for eternity only to be interrupted by a soft knock of the den door.

"Enter." Sesshomaru said as he released his hold on Kagome. The door opened and a kitchen staff member carried in a platter of food, the demon placed the food on the table, bowed, and exited the room. Kagome's stomach took it's moment and growled again at the thought of food.

"Shall we eat?" Sesshomaru asked.

"Let's." She replied as she stood and walked to the table. Lifting the cover from the meal released the most delicious smell, on the platter were two bowls of what looked like venison, rice, and steamed vegetables. Carefully she pulled the bowls out and placed them in front of Sesshomaru and herself, as he placed her chopsticks next to her bowl. Once their meal was finished they returned to Sesshomaru's room and laid on the bed. Neither was tired after sleeping all day, but given the time of night there was nothing to do but talk. Sesshomaru began stroking the Miko's hair, it'd gotten some of it's shine back after being washed and looked much better.

"What all happens when you take a mate?" the Miko asked. "Is there a ceremony?" Sesshomaru stopped stroking her hair and looked at the pink marks that ran along her body. That experience was frightening, he remembered how her body reacted just to the slight youki he'd pressed into her, the amount required for a mating was quiet a bit more.

"There is," he said running his thumb across the mark on her cheek, "It may be best to forgo it though." The Miko looked at him in a harsh confused manner, "It requires your body to accept more of my youki, much more, given how your body reacted even to the small amount before, it could be dangerous."

"What in our lives isn't dangerous, then what about marriage?" She asked and his face contorted into an emotion she couldn't place, it wasn't disgust but it was pretty close.

"Youkai don't marry." He said simply and the Miko rolled her eyes.

"So you won't mate me and you won't marry me, why am I still here?" She said, sarcasm dripping from her voice. "Besides, what's life without you? I can deal with pain, I've been through a lot of it."

"Very well Kagome, I'll make the arrangements." he replied lovingly.


FOUR YEARS LATER

Shippo woke in the middle of the night to the sound of a child crying. Climbing out of bed he made his way to the den and across to his Rin's old room. The room had been completely changed after she'd left to marry a man from the village. It was now a young boy's room, on the bed sat the child crying, his silver hair plastered to his face and his ears drooped. Shippo sat down on the bed and pulled the tiny boy to him. In the past two years he'd been going through a growth spurt, and though he wasn't very tall he towered over the child.

"There, there, did you have a nightmare?" The boy nodded and Shippo petted his hair. "Would you like me to get mama or papa?" he asked, and the little boy shook his

head.

"Papa said I'm a big boy now." he said with a little sniffle and a face saying he was trying to be strong," Big boys can't always run to Mama." He replied in a little voice.

"Well, how about if I lay in here with you for a little while until you fall back asleep?" Shippo offered. The little boy nodded and Shippo laid him back down and covered him up before laying next to him and stroking his ears. The little boy yawned and closed his eyes.

"Good night, Shippo." he said sleepily.

"Good night, Yasha."


Once again, thank you all from the bottom of my heart for being here and reading my

story. I don't know if I'll write another one, given this story has been a big part of my life

for so long. But I hope you've enjoyed this story, as much as I enjoyed writing it for you

all. Feel free to share this story, or message me if you want someone to talk with it about.

Thanks everyone. Lot's of Love. Kae.