«I'm starting to think those demons are whipping those fleeing the battlefield out of pure mercy. In my name, why is it so hard for me?»
Eli couldn't help but think about the fact that his capabilities are... bit, quite a bit limited. But he was immediately inspired when, coming out of the forest, I saw the clear outlines of wooden buildings. He had seen similar houses once before, when they somehow decided to warm up with a former warpband on a rural world. But a vile worm of doubt stirred in the astartes' mind, trying to make the fearless warrior beware of an unfamiliar place. However, by an effort of will, this worm of doubt was mercilessly crushed (in which he was helped by those strangely annoying thoughts).
Quietly approaching the window of the nearest building, the astartes looked into it. Behind it was a spacious and cozy room with chairs around the edges and a hotel counter with someone sleeping on it. Associations popped up in Eli's head— he had seen a similar room before.
«It resembles something like an inn or a hotel, like those that exist on backward agrarian worlds. People stop at such places for a while to rest after wandering. That's what it takes, but... okay, it should be no harder than jumping into the mouth of a bio-titan… Probably...»
«Bo-o-ori-i-ing...» — Lisa whined softly, resting her forehead on the wooden table.
«When I was little, it seemed more interesting. Meet travelers, communicate with merchants, get to know the world. Damn, there's probably some kind of party in town right now. Who knew that my mother's job was so boring? Sitting here, waiting for someone to come in the middle of the night, in this wilderness. Who in their right mind would walk at night at all, and not sit around the campfire?! Probably some creepy necromancer, ghost or...»
The train of thought was interrupted by the door bell, which announced an unexpected guest. He had to bend down to get through the door jamb, even though it was made for centaurs. In the dim light of the lamp, it was possible to make out:
«Cursed armor...» —Lisa whispered to herself. In front of her stood a metal monster, as if coming out of old fairy tales — horns, burning eyes, a predatory snarling muzzle. The gigantic, metallic body itself was as if crumpled and covered with dried blood. But even that didn't scare the girl the most. Despite the fact that the cursed armor should logically exude the smell of demonic energy and somehow calm down, what was in front of her... practically did not smell. In this walking grotesque, the smell of people's spiritual energy was only remotely traced, but it was incredibly weak, almost imperceptible.
«Place!» — Lisa was brought out of her trance by the ear-piercing low, strange voice of a creature already standing in the middle of the room.
«Huh?» — she has not fully recovered from the shock of the meeting, and continued to pretend to be a statue.
«A place to rest. Understand?» — despite the sounds similar to the chirping of crickets, it tried to pronounce the word as articulately as possible.
«What is the average level of intelligence of the inhabitants of this planet? At the nurgling level?»
«A-a-ah,»— the mortal stretched out one sound for a second and a half. Eli had already thought that this was another sign of mental retardation, but in fact it was the "sound of understanding". «I see-oh, you... you want to rent a room from us, right?»
«... yes»
«H-hood(1). Please, follow me, I'll take you,» — the girl quickly took the key off the hook and began to come out from behind the counter, making a strange sound that the astartes did not pay attention to.
«Well, it seems there is a drop of intelligence in her. It could have been worse.»
As soon as he thought of something good, the axiom «hope is the first step to disappointment» immediately confirmed itself. As it turned out, that strange sound was the clop of hooves. Instead of legs, the another mutant had a horse's torso, and in the place where the head should be, there was a human part. Nevertheless, like the natives of the past, the non-human parts did not cause strong disgust. At least not against the background of the spawn of chaos.
«Um, are you coming?»
Eli, full of distrust, nevertheless followed the horse-like inhuman up the stairs. They reached a corridor with ten doors and stopped at a door with the number "six" stamped on it.
«Here are your keys, uh-uh-sir» — the horse woman, not without trembling, brought a small, decorated piece of metal to Eli. As soon as he took it, the mutant jerked away. Her face took on a confused look and before the Astartes could (or rather wanted to) to ask why, she ran into the next room, from where a muffled cry-moan is heard.
The Space Marine decided that this little brat was conducting some kind of vile ritual, so he was on guard. Opening the door, Eli found himself in a neat little room, somewhat out of keeping with his size. Although, if, for example, he lie on the bed in the fetal position, it is quite possible to accommodate. Eli checked the whole room a couple of times, but to his relief, everything was clean and safe. Finally, he allowed himself to lie down on the bed... which almost instantly broke in half under his weight. Without attaching any importance to the fragility of primitive furniture, after ten minutes, he sharpened his hearing and closed his eyes. And an hour later Khornit allowed himself to plunge into the abyss and fall asleep.
The analysis of the energy of the alien entity is completed.
97% match with DE-62098-j. The error is minimal, the pollution of primary enemy is detected. The threat is... unacceptable.
Embark on a radical realignment of reality…
Cancellation, unknown factor detected.
Analysis… The analysis is completed.
An alien entity identical to the past object, but having radical differences, has been discovered. It is directed to the primary alien entity.
Reviewing priorities… Downgrade the threat to acceptable. Launch an inf agent into the WH00040-k universe for study. Continue monitoring…
«Wake fuck up, warrior. We have a city to slaughter.»
«What the?..» — Eli jumped up from the wreckage of the bed and met… With an exact replica of his armor. Without wasting a second, he tried to hit the double, but the blow went right through. However, another astartes managed to swing his right fist and bring it down on the helmet of the original, which even caused him to fall back on the bed.
«Finished? We have more important things to do.»
«What are you?» — the astartes blinked and shook his head to knock down the obsession, but it did not go anywhere.
«I am Eli, the coming god of war.»
«You're not confusing anything? I am Eli, the coming god of war!»
«The answer is negative. You are my material embodiment, which energized me with your ideas and gave me a goal: to become God.»
«So you're a warp parasite? Wonderful, I were missing without you.»
«Yes, you are, idiot,» — the doppelganger sighed, and the armor's chest changed its shape, as if it really was a human body. «I am your only chance to achieve power and strength. How did you think it worked? Is it enough to "visualize success"?»
«Fine-fine… Wait, that's great! You're from the Warp and have already penetrated the Materium!»
«Well, actually, I'm still on my side. The only one born who sees me is only you, because of our connection.»
«Can you at least tell me where I am now and how far I have to go to the nearest spaceport?»
«It you must to tell me what kind of puddle I had to dive into for you? When Khorne left, I began to dissolve without the support of the idea of domination, and I went to that strange hole with the last of my strength...» — Eli-from-the-Warp stopped, but after Eli-from—Reality coughed, he continued. «According to mortals, the Immaterium is incomprehensible, but even the place where we are now is even more incomprehensible.»
«What's wrong?»
«Everything is wrong! If there were a lot of movements and us had to look in very different directions so that you wouldn't be knocked down by a crazy nurgling or smeared on the Geller field, then everything is quiet here, except for something blurry reluctantly moving in the distance.»
«That is, demons are kind of... "short-sighted"?»
«Need to say thank me that this place did not accelerate my disintegration and did not leave you alone with yourself,» — «Fucking ironic». «Anyway, I know at most that there are a couple of mortals nearby. Plus or minus…»
«What does "plus or minus" mean?»
«Their souls are not like everyone else's here either. If in the normal world they look like lights, then here it looks like some kind of viscous stuff. And I'm not sure, but... in the next room, someone is creating new souls. Well, so much the better for me. Let's kill these sheep in our honor. Souls for me, meat for you — everyone wins.»
«... Can you answer at least this question: why. I. CAN'T KILL?!» — chaosit yelled at his projection.
«YOU WHAT?!» — the helmet mask twisted in surprise.
«What?!» — the door opened abruptly and the same mutant who gave Eli the keys appeared in the doorway. «Um, I'm sorry… I mean, are you all right? I just heard you yelling at someone. Do you needz any help... sir?» — Eli looked over his shoulder, but there was no double anywhere.
«... Food,» — the man said bri efly.
«Foodz? Oh, yes, yes, follow me.»
The horse took the guest to a local semblance of a kitchen, where a couple of a normal man and a mutant woman with the same "ugliness" were already waiting for him. Both seemed to be measuring him with a strange, sternly condemning look. The Astartes froze at the entrance and measured them with a menacing look from behind the helmet lenses in response. The couple shivered uncomfortably and looked away, softening. The mutant pushed the man forward and coughed. The man looked at her with alarm at first, but sighed and turned to Eli while the woman took away another mutant.
«Good morning, our... dear... guest,» — he greeted Eli hesitantly. «Um, please, sit down in my dear wife's place,» — he pointed to a strange mixture of a sofa, a seat cushion and a stool. Judging by the structure, it is intended for newly discovered mutants. The Chaosit was a former Khornite, not a Tzinchite, but he was smart enough to put two and two together. «Warp tear me...», — Eli was struck by a wave of disgust, and he wanted to erase this unfinished Slaaneshite, when suddenly it dawned on him. Something similar had appeared in his head before. «Sorry, we don't have seats for ... someone of your complexion ...» — the man continued, and thinking Eli sat down on the edge of this unusual seat.
«Eli, what the fuck is this?» — he turned his head back and saw that his reflection was looking at him closely right over his shoulder.
«Which one?»
«Excuse me?» — The mortal holding two plates of food did not understand the meaning of the unexpected words.
«... Which one of these plates is mine?»
«Take both, you idiot,» — the spirit advised roughly.
«One for you, the other for me,» — putting both, one to the astartes, the other to himself, the man sat down opposite. On the dishes there was some kind of yellow-white mass with a bleeding fruit, a sliced disk, and two semi-finished meat products of obviously artisanal production huddled on the edge. On the one hand, this raised questions for the Chaosit, and on the other hand, the food looked pleasant. At least not bad, considering Eli's past gastronomic experience.
«Acceptable,» — he said, which made the doppelganger growl with displeasure.
«Are you serious?»
«Sh, I'm eating,» — this time the space marine croaked softly to himself so that the companion would not notice anything. But then there was a small problem: the helmet, which has saved life more than once, is not provided for the absorption of food. He reluctantly taked it off and reveal his real face. It turned out that this was what the surprised mortal, who had not touched the food, was waiting for.
«Any questions?» — indifferently, but distinctly aggressively, the giant asked, assessing the small cutlery.
«Kgh, no ... » — the man looked down at his plate, but after five seconds he spoke. «Well, actually there is, sir.»
«Eh?» — the slurping superhuman decided that all the devices were equally useless, so he decided to eat the old-fashioned way - to stuff everything into his mouth at once. «Why would you do that?»
«Well, usually our guests talk about their goals and other things... we give them a discount for fresh gossip.»
«Discount? What is it?»
«Well, this is when we demand less money than we reqiaered. A quid pro quo, so to speak.»
«And what happens if don't give money?»
«Um... we will arrest the theoretical defaulter and decide what to do at the village council. Most likely, we will make he work off the debt on the farm or in the fields.»
Eli wanted to laugh at these impudent words, and drive into the idiot's head that it is not so easy to force a space marine to do something, but remembering the bitter experience, he decided to get the maximum discount. It was not cowardice, but the right tactical decision.
«Start asking questions, human.»
«A human? Uh, okay... first of all, what's your name?»
«My name is Eli Varius, a space marine from the legion of World Eaters, the strongest warrior who survived the massacre that lasted for a month without a break, who stood up against all tyrants, the coming god of war…»
«Please stop,» — the man seemed to have been hit by a thunder Hammer. «Oh, gods, okay, can I just call you "Eli"?»
«Permission granted.»
«Ahem, all right, Sir Eli. Can you tell me where you came from?»
« I...» — the astartes decided not to tell the whole truth, otherwise he could drive this savage crazy without any chaotic rituals. Of course, then he can not pay the debt, but on the other hand, he would have to answer even more questions. «I came from ... the North.»
«From the "North"? Uh, from where exactly?»
«Damn, I thought that was enough for him.»
«There are many wild tribes in the north, I come from one of them.»
«So… Are all your tribesmen so big?»
«Only those who have passed a special ritual. They don't do these anymore, and if they do, it's only worse, because the one who came up with it was still an asshole and deservedly died,» — Eli couldn't resist insulting the one sitting on the throne... of gold.
«Really? Why is that?»
«From his son. He realized that his father was a goat and led our tribe to total decline. As a result, it was divided: nine sons took the side of their dear "daddy", nine took the side of the liberator son, and two nothing what they were doing. True, one case is controversial: wolves and sorcerers have not yet decided what the one-eyed turkey was doing.»
«It must have been a terrible time. Son to father, brother to brother…»
«It wasn't the worst time in my life. We were essentially created for wars, so consider it a simple "Tuesday".»
«And how many of you were there at all? Well, those who have passed this ritual?»
« A lot,» — «I hope he has enough orcish mathematics.»
«Yep… And what was your tribe like?»
«Big. Very big. You can't even imagine its scale.»
«Really? What was it called?»
«I shouldn't have said that. Well, i'll have to replace Tsinch as well. So, small states usually give themselves an adjective in the name of the people or device ...»
«Rossian... Federal… Empire. Yes, that's what we were called.»
«How could there be other tribes if there was an entire empire?»
«Well, it wasn't really an empire. It was rather a union of separate tribes under the rule of another tribe, the Terrans.»
«Terrans? And why is the empire then Rossian?»
«... I meant tyrants. Yes, there were a lot of tyrants,» — the man narrowed his eyes, trying to understand the logic. Eli noticed this and continued. «The Ross were one of the dominant tribes in a more highly developed civilization, the Humans Shovel Union, but after its collapse, most of the technology was lost, society degraded, and one name remained of the great nation. The Rossian Federal Empire became the unspoken heir. In general, it's a long time to explain.»
«Oh, my head… Okay, that's enough for now. I'm sorry, Sir Eli. I need to leave»," — the mortal quickly got up from the table and walked briskly to the exit, but he was stopped by a rude voice of a chaosit.
«You answer my question,» — from such a tone of semi-question, his soul sank into his heels, as if he was a mouse that a hungry cat was staring at. «Will you finish eating? »— fortunately, this cat wasn't going to eat him. Not now.
«No, no, bon appetit», - said the man who had already slammed the door.
«Mom, why are you so worried?» — the little centaur clicked her hoof in displeasure.
«Sh, don't you dare raise your voice at your mother, younh ladzy,» — an adult horse woman threatened her daughter with her finger. «Not yet twenty-five, and you're already pretending to be an adult. That's when there will be so, then you can talk to me on equal terms.»
«Mom!» — she peeped resentfully, and sullenly crossed her arms. «I'm already twenty-four! And you also said I was twenty, and when I was sixteen, and ten… And even so, you will still demand your business and your husband from me. And just the husband came.»
«Don't you dare, Lisa, don't you dzare even think about it! He... We even doesn't understand who he and where from at all. Okay, I would understand if my daughter were a wild wolf, but you're a civilized centaur!»
«You told me yourself how you met my father. The two of you were «led by the road of adventure» until your arrow hit him in the knee.»
«And there's nothing to get into my hunting grounds! But then we started doing "adult stuff"…»
«Mom... are you seriously embarrassed to talk about it directly? Oh, the Fallen, what are you turning into?»
«...And decided to settle down. Still, your father knows how to pacify a wild filly,» — the innkeeper smiled dreamily, but returned to reality. «In general, I'm tending to the fact that you can't do that.»
«Why would I? I've already learned how to use a bow.»
«And "settled down" Dad for the second time…»
«I'm learning from my mistakes, I'm an adult! An adzult!»
«You know, the problem is not only in your stubbornness, but also in the fact that you chose the completely wrong one. Tell me, why are you attracted to his energy? I hardly feel her, and you describe him as if he were the husband of the Demon Lady.»
«Well, it's not my fault that someone's nose has become dull from old age», — Lisa tried to raise a riot, but he was brutally suppressed by the steel hand of the "regime", who slapped her on the back of the head for talking about the age of a woman.
«Cheeky! Gods, why is this all for me?» — the woman clutched her head.
«Well, mo-o-o ...» — the daughter stretched out plaintively, rubbing the place of impact. «Well, he's not some kind of…»
«Crazy! » — a man burst into the room and pressed his back to the door.
«Dang, Dad, did you conspire with her?»
«No, you obviously conspired with him to drive me crazy in my old age.»
«What did he say there?» — without paying attention, the elder centaur approached her husband.
«Complete nonsense. When I asked what his name was, he started saying titles that even the son of the super-king Vasilius Pupkin (2) III and Arch-Countess Mary von Sue IV did not have.»
«Well, all the more so, he is a noble. You should be glad that I will have such a husband.»
«Yeah, he also said he was a barbarian from the northern lands,» — her father retorted.
«What? Are you sure you didn't mix anything up? What if he meant the islands to the north?»
«No, he was talking about a certain Rossian Federal Empire. And for some reason, he added some kind of Shovel Union. Of course, I'm not an expert in geography, but there are Abardis in the north, and calling them tribes is like calling Polove a monastery. And with such a crazy tale about the civil war of twenty sons and their father. He didn't really tell me what all the quarrels were about. I still don't understand…(3)»
«So-o-o… Everything is clear,» — Lisa stepped forward.
«What is clear to you there? Maybe you realized that you were mistake?»
«Yes, it's all you made a mistake,» — the parents nodded contentedly at first, but then realized what they had heard. «You're all slandering him so that I don't leave you. You've always been against me!»
«Yes? And what logical justification can there be for this, young lady?» — the man asked angrily, looking sternly at the unbeliever.
«It's simple… He is from another world where people have reached a higher level of development, and especially magic, because of the careless use of which their society began to decline. After a while, they recovered, but the war started again because of the same magic, according to the results of which they regressed again. And then magic again, and my beloved is here!»
The two adults with their eyes wide open turned their heads to each other, and then nodded. The next moment, they both attacked Lisa: the mother in front, and the father on the side, so that he would not "settle down" again because of the hooves.
«Ouch, what are you doing?! I just gave you a theory! »— the girl kicked desperately.
«The theory of what? The great conspiracy of the mentally healthy?» — the father awkwardly jumped on his back to his blood daughter and with even greater awkwardness closed her eyes and wrung her hand. «That's it, you're under house arrest until you stop fooling around!»
«AAAH! SOULMURDERERS! HONEY, SAVE ME!»
And although no one saw it, but her really heard "honey" ... more precisely, only one of his parts was watching it. It seeped through the walls and went to its base.
A/N:
1 - Here is another international mamono. This time it's a Belarusian pony. A feature of their accent is, for example, replacing the sound "g" with "h" or putting "z" after "d". At least for Russians it is so, I don't know how they express it with English. And do not be surprised that sometimes they speak correctly: the fact is that they, being mamono, for the convenience of their husband, gradually adapt their speech to him, and do not often sparkle with their accent. In future chapters, however, there will be another character with an accent that will drive me crazy.
2 - Pupkin is the surname of Vasily, the "average citizen". Often in the meaning of the character has the properties "Mary Sue", since the genre of Russian isekai suggests that anyone can be in Vasya's place and become a "strong badass".
3 - Another reference to dawn of war. This phrase by Gabriel Angelos has become extremely memetic in a narrow circle of wh40k fans.
No one expected the Ordo Xenos, the hive fleet, or the new chapter of this fic. I like to be sudden. And yes, this is a reference to the Soviet Union. Further, the degree of Oddities will increase.
Write an opinion about what you have read and do not hesitate to talk about mistakes.
That's all, gentlemen and ladies. See you.
