Chapter 21
WARNING- THIS STORY CONTAINS MATURE THEMES SUCH AS SELF HARM AND ABUSE, PLEASE DO NOT READ IF THIS MAY UPSET OR TRIGGER YOU IN AN WAY
I have suffered with self harming before not long ago, and please if you or any of your friends/family are going through it, get help and just remember it DOES get better and you're not alone. I'm always here if you need any help I'll understand xx
Disclaimer- I do not own 'Twilight' or any of the other books written by Stephanie Meyer. All characters mentioned in this fanfic belong to the wonderful author and not me (although I wish Jacob aka Taylor Lautner belonged to me )
TW FOR THIS CHAPTER- ABUSE IN DETAIL, RAPE, PLEASE PLEASE DON'T READ IF THIS WILL UPSET YOU IN ANY WAY, THIS ISN'T MY INTENTION AT ALL
Bella's POV
I am frozen in horror, the one person I prayed I would never have to see again is in the room with me, looking like he wants to attack me. I panic, wondering if I can call for help but nobody would hear me from outside the apartment and by the time I reach over for the phone, Charlie is going to hurt me. I take in a shuddery breath, my deepest fears come to life right infront of me.
"what's the matter, Bella, someone not so happy to see her Daddy?" Charlie mocks, his spit flying across the room. I stay as still as I can, trying not to aggravate him anymore than he already is, I know this plan is hopeless though from the many times I tried it before. If you don't say anything, he'll assume you're ignoring him and get even angrier but if you answer him, he takes it as a threat.
I wish that I had never left Jacob's side in that moment, if only I hadn't come home, this wouldn't be happening right now. I try not to show just how terrified I am though because I don't want to give Charlie the satisfaction of having that kind of power over me once again. I watch out of the corner of my eye as he creeps closer and closer towards me, his baseball bat raised and pointing towards my head.
He notices my flinch though as he laughs in that cruel way he has, his head flung back. I take in his face, angrier than he ever has been before, and the way he's looking at me and I know then that something really bad is going to happen, way worse than ever before. I feel the warm rush as tears flow down my cheeks, I can't help it, just the thought of what's to come makes me feel sick to my stomach.
"Crying like a baby now, are we Bella? God, you're so pathetic, no daughter of me would be that weak," his dark eyes glint with humour and I just know he's finding this whole situation hilarious because that's just so like him. He loves to inflict pain on others, it gives him a joy that nothing else does.
He inches even closer towards me and I close my eyes, preparing myself for what's bound to come. I hear the air whoosh past as he flings the baseball bat over my head. I feel the burning sensation of the pain and my vision blurs as I try to take in his face, I bring my hand to my head shakily and feel sick at the sight of the bright red blood that is stuck to my fingers. Somehow, I gather the strength to stay conscious as he takes another blow to my ribs, I wince as they crunch. He smirks down at me, pleased with himself, before dropping the baseball bat down to the ground, the clattering making my head ache even more and I know I should feel some kind of relief that he's done with the weapon but I know he's not done yet from experience.
"how are we feeling, Bella, painful yet? Maybe it's not enough to teach you a lesson-" he pants, hurling his fist straight into my face. My eye feels like it's on fire, and I can't move my jaw but I just look back at him as if it isn't killing me.
"hmm, I'm bored with the whole injure thing now, I think you need something a bit more memorable, don't you?" he asks, beginning to undo his trouser button and my heart sinks into my chest as I realise what he means, he's going to rape me. I scream in terror and try to move my broken body away from him, but it's no use, it just causes me more pain. I feel woozy and my view of Charlie is all distorted, I make out him pulling his trousers down and I swallow back the bile that comes to my throat, disgust at what's going to happen.
He leans closer, his stale breath making me gag. I watch him as he forces himself onto me, having yanked my jeans all the way down and I feel the fiery pain as he thrusts himself into me. It's at that point that I disassociate myself from the situation, it's like I'm floating above my battered body, but it can't be my body because something this awful can't be happening to me. I can't be losing my virginity to my own dad, without consent. As I'm watching what's going on from above, I stare as Jacob kicks the door down, and Edward comes running at Charlie, pushing him off me before pounding the hell out of him until he's knocked out, Jacob joining in, both of their faces set into a grim line. I hear Alice crying in the background, clinging onto her phone.
I black out then, only slightly aware of Jacob's arms around me, and the police sirens wailing. The darkness takes me and I welcome it gladly, wanting to be anywhere but here, the people I love having to witness something so stomach-turning.
I wake up after what seems like days later, but could only have been a few hours, groaning inwardly as I recognized the familiar white hospital curtains and everything that happened coming back to me at full force.
Jacob's POV
I sit beside Bella's bedside, shaking with fear and anger. When Edward had called saying Alice had called him when she accidentally walked in on such a scene, I had ran to Bella's apartment. I knew it was going to be bad, but nothing could have prepared me for the horror we walked in on. The image of Charlie on top of Bella's broken body like that would haunt me forever, it was permanently ingrained into my brain. I hadn't even been thinking straight when I had beaten the hell out of Charlie, but I didn't care, the sight of his smug face made me feel sick. Alice had called the police and an ambulance while we were sorting Charlie out, and they had come quickly, their sirens flashing as they parked outside the apartment. I had helped carry Bella out to the ambulance with Edward, still in shock from everything that had happened.
I watch sadly as Bella wakes up, the terror in her eyes obvious. Her face was black and blue, a bandage wrapped tightly around her head injury. The knowledge of what had happened to her in those 40 minutes that she had been with Charlie made me want to throw up. My poor Bella, having to go through hell like that. She had been shaking with fear so I reached out to hold her hand, wanting to cry as she flinched away from my touch.
"It's ok Bells, it's just me, Jake," I tell her, my voice breaking.
She looks up at me warily before taking my hand and I feel the uncontrollable shaking of her hand, the police officers had said she would never be the same again, this kind of trauma had a massive impact on someone. Me and Edward had tried not to cry at that, not wanting to believe what had happened to the girl we both loved.
Even now, looking at Bella's tiny frame battered in the hospital bed, it didn't seem real. This was the kind of awful thing that happened to people in horror movies, not to the girl you'd known and loved for years. But, I told myself, no matter how awful it all was, I couldn't show how scared I was to Bella, now was the time that I needed to be strong for her. Because forget how me and Edward felt, how she must be feeling was 1000 times worse.
"Bella, the policewoman wants to take a-a rape kit when you're ready," I say, wincing at that dreadful word. I hate to scare her even more after she's just gained consciousness, but the woman said it needed to be done if Charlie was going to get what he deserved.
Bella stares off into space silently, tears escaping and splattering her cheeks. Edward turns to look at me, and even though we don't actually say anything, we both acknowledge the fact that this girl in the bed, the one that we were both arguing over a mere 12 hours ago, was now broken and we had to try everything we could to mend her again. She stays like that, staring into nothingness for an hour, and it's as if she's trapped in her own hell, the emptiness in her eyes is eerie.
The nurse comes in later on, and the apology in her eyes makes it obvious that she is taking Bella off to do the rape kit. I turn to look back at Bella and she isn't even paying any attention to what's going on around her, still staring into space with that haunting look about her.
"Bells, the nice nurse is going to take you to do the kit, okay?"
She turns her head towards me, finally out of her reverie, and she looks back at me, fearful.
"don't leave me, Jake" she whispers, her voice hoarse and the terrified look on her face makes me want to whisk her away from this mess but I know that's not real life so I nod at her.
"okay, I'll come with you if that's what you want."
The nurse raises her eyebrow in alarm, "um, actually males aren't supposed to be around when the test is being taken-" she begins to say but the firm look I give her shuts her up and she beckons us both to come with her. I take Bella's hand and help her walk, she's still as fragile as an old woman, and I support the whole of her body weight as she hobbles towards the medical room, her fingernails gripping onto my shoulder as if she thinks I'm going to abandon her at the last minute.
It's not until we're in the room that I realise I've been speaking to Bella like she's a baby ever since the incident and I feel shameful that I am treating her differently because I know that's not what she'd want.
"right, Jacob, is it?" the nurse asks me.
"yeah," I answer, surprised she'd listened.
"could you please step out the room for a minute?" she asks, and I'm about to protest but I can see by her expression that it is non-negotiable and that I'm not allowed to be around whilst it takes place. Bella looks at the nurse warily before giving me a feeble nod, as if confirming she's okay with it.
I shut the door behind me, and wait nervously, hoping the invasion of privacy the test brings won't make Bella retreat into her shell even more than she already has. About three hours later, the door opens and the nurse welcomes me back in. I cautiously step back into the room, and Bella is sat down, staring into space again, the nurse waiting with the policewoman who took the test, putting swabs into clear plastic bags.
"Do you want to go back now, Bells?" I ask her.
"yes."
I have to lean in closer to even hear what she said, it was so quiet, I help her up and we go back to the hospital room.
The next day, Bella is discharged and we take her home. She seems reluctant to go back to the apartment, and I can understand why but me and Edward reassure her gently that Charlie can't hurt her anymore, as he is locked away until the results come back. They don't normally do that, but because of the circumstances with the accused being an officer of the law, they said they would, much to everyone's relief.
Bella's POV
Jake and Edward take me back home, and I flinch as I see the living room where it happened, Jake notices and quickly ushers me away upstairs, and I feel instantly grateful for him. My skin starts to tingle and I feel tears building up as I remember the way Charlie forced his body into mine.
"what's wrong, Bells?"
"I need to have a shower," I say, shaking all over again.
"Why now? You've only just had your bandages taken off your head."
"I need to get his hands off me" I mumble, the images of Charlie as vivid as ever in my head.
Jake seems to understand as he says "go on then, I'll wait outside".
I thank him, glad he isn't going anywhere as I really can't stand the thought of being alone in this apartment ever again, constantly on alert if Charlie finds his way back to me. Alice has taken a break for a while, after seeing what she saw, and I don't blame her. Edward was angry because she should have been more 'understanding' but I get that witnessing what she did might affect her as well, plus I didn't need yet another person fussing over me, wanting to check if I was okay every minute of the day. Jake and Edward had come to the decision that they weren't going to tell anyone else, as there was no need for it and I didn't want the whole Cullen family knowing that Charlie's hands had been all over my body anyway, I was humiliated and scared that they would think of me as a slut.
I shut the bathroom door behind me, and felt an immense feeling of relief at stripping my clothes off and feeling the cold water pumping down on my body. I grabbed my flannel from the side, and started scrubbing every single inch of my body with shower gel. After I'd gone over everywhere, I still felt dirty and I wanted to wash the imaginary handprints of Charlie's that were all over me so I scrubbed even harder, until my skin was red raw.
Hey, I don't know how to feel about this chapter, I understand that this has the potential to be extremely triggering to people, and I'm really sorry if this upset you in any way, I'm just trying to explain how strongly Bella feels about everything she's had to go through. Thanks for reading 3
